Monday, May 9, 2011

Ultimate Warrior's Workout

Are you ready get foked on the Ultimate Warrior's training techniques?


Razorvine said...

I need to go to the gym, LOL. Yeah me too Linkara, me too

Did Valiant do a bunch of WWF comics or was this mostly a one off thing?

Its great to see Doctor Insano again on AT4W, digging the new goggles.

Mountain King said...

Why did I, when you suggested you had to hit the gym, have a vision of you hitting a guy with a badge announcing him to be "Jim" on it? Am I just that deranged?

The ultimate warrior huh, the more I learn about this guy the more glad I am that I never followed wrestling. If this was the example of star power they had when I was growing up I'll stick with Star Trek. The art here was fairly good, there's of course better but it was fairly accurate. Alright the woman's waist was a little waspish at times, but we've all seen worse.

As a whole though the comic was bad. More or less pointless, plotless and with all the character development of a sink. Pulling out the side story of "the good hearted wrestler just trying to to earn enough to help his poor crippled brother." was so corny it almost physically hurt. Then the so called message… oy After that… I'm going to go die now.

Fuunny review, but I can't help thinking it was filler for something else, if only I wasn't dead I' could figure out what.


Jyger85 said...

So THAT's what you were doing in Chicago! Any idea as to when we'll be seeing this?

deuxhero said...

Early on it looked fairly disappointing for an Ultimate Warrior comic, though about the 2nd half of the first story it started the inanity I expected out of the Ultimate Warrior.

Bimbos in Time: The Movie review?

Oh yes!

bernardof said...

can't believe you didn't make a ultimate showdown reference

June said...

wow.... where do I begin? I knew we'd get some AT4W story since the Ultimate Warrior has shown up again! So what happens with Insano and Chicago and Bimbos and hypertime and the entity STUUUUUUUF!?!??! *foams at mouth*

As for the comic itself.... uh.... I dunno. My brain hasn't quite started working again after seeing that stinger. The Ultimate Warrior telling us not to smoke.... er..... okay.....

Falcovsleon20 said...

Ultimatum? I'm gonna need a knife to cut myself with for that. Especially when a certain character dies. I freaking hate you Marvel. What do you have against ***** *** so much that you have to let hacks like Bendis and Loeb kill one of my favorite Avengers off? (I've censored the name to avoid spoilers)

Mario Di Giacomo said...

Couple of details.

The facepaint woman is Sherri Martel, aka Sensational Sherri and Scary Sherri. Since she was Randy Savage's manager/valet at the time, Warrior would have to be blind not to recognize her at that range.

It's World Wildlife Fund, not World Wide Fund for Nature.

Sgt Slaughter was a heel for only a brief time. You may remember him better from his time as a GI Joe character.

And I still think Hellwig sounds like an Image character, perhaps a hero formerly known as "Hell Toupee"…

Jarkes said...

So... does this mean I have to watch an episode of The Spoony Experiment to get the next part of the plot? ...When is THAT episode going to be up?
Also, 90's Kid FTW!
Also also, the word verification thing for posting this comment is, for once, an actual word.
Now, you may or may not know this (you probably do), but Valiant Comics made Super Mario Bros. and Legend of Zelda comics in the 80's and 90's. It's also where Captain N: The Game Master made his debut. What's weird, is that Zelda Wiki states that the Zelda comics made by Valiant are "ambiguously canon." Discuss.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"It's World Wildlife Fund, not World Wide Fund for Nature."

Well, I went by wikipedia on that one - my fault.

Mario Di Giacomo said...

Looks like we're both right:

"…formerly named the World Wildlife Fund, which remains its official name in Canada and the United States."

As I am in the US, I never knew about the name change. So, MY bad.


Ghjklbnm said...

wow, finally ultimatum review, just as i started re-reviewing ultimatum, great, i just hope you can point out enogh problems as a true ultimate universe fan can, and not point out problems by tryng to cennect them to mainstream items such as characters and events, your probably bigger comic book nerd than i am, but there is a reason for alternate universes, so the characters can change for the prgression of THAT universe, i understand that you understand this cocncept, bu i only say this due to your allstar batman and robin reviews where you constntly compared that universe's batman to the mainstream, i'm not trying to be a big ass-hole, but i'm just saying, dont bitch about it if you don't know about it.

Drunken Lemur said...

Sweepy The Janitor: "Ever wonder how the Ultimate Warrior performs his incredible feats of strength?'
Dr. Erik Selvig: "Steroids!"

J. J. Ramsey said...

Judging from the clips you showed of the Ultimate Warrior, your impression of him was almost dead on. In any case, your impression was hilarious. Fun review.

Anonymous said...

Man, great ending. That really made me curious.

BoosterG said...

I was born in '89, and while I've always had an interest in comics, I didn't really get into them until a couple of years ago (when I started watching this show). However, I do remember reading Solar, Man of the Atom from Valiant when my cousin got it. And it KICKED ASS. Dark Horse has since taken over the title, so pick it up if you're feeling nostalgic.

Tim P said...

Hehehe... Paradox Boy. :}

We're gonna find out that that DVD is going to be the subject of an Ontological Paradox... it has no beginning and no end.... O_o

Also, does this mean we get to play with hypertime in Chicago?! Multiple Linkara's fighting the entity?! :P

TJOmega said...

Weird thing is WWE still uses the old metallic WWF logo... it was the 90's scratch-style logo that they're not allowed to show. Not sure why they make that distinction, but I'm no businessman.

Strangely enough the WWE had a workout show, the World Bodybuilding Federation... it did not last long. I blame the lack of hitting people with chairs during deadlifts.

Anonymous said...

Good Review

I was expecting a gym montage from you, perhaps with exaggerated screaming.

When WARRIOR! said that Ben didn't have the spirit of the WARRIOR!, at first I thought having his ass handed to him for three/four weeks straight dispirited him, then I realized he probably saw how the real WARRIOR! trains and backed out:

Jim Hellwig: NOW! You must throw these bricks of DESTRUCITY at the Jumbo Tron of TESTAMENT! THEN, and only then, will you become (SNORK!) THE WARRIOR!!

Ben: Uh, no thank you. I've got a cold.

Once again, great job showcasing the insanity of The Ultimate Warrior. And I wish my future self would give me something I needed.

Note: If I could put warrior in a 20 pt font, I would.

Anonymous said...

hey linkara why is insano's glases purple now?

also will the ending of this vid tie into the 3rd anniversary movie?

David Monticchio said...

I can only hope that you recognize that 90% of the people that die in Ultimatum...died only because Marvel didn't want to finish their stories. It was just an excuse to not have continuity. Seriously, a lot of great B listers got cut short.

I seriously suggest reading Vaughn and Kirkman's runs on Ultimate X Men (though Kirkman's run is not good if you read issue to issue, his run is more slow and needs to be read in large chunks). They really REALLY tried to establish Dazzler, Nightcrawler, Angel, Psylocke, Polaris, etc as the future of the team. So it really sucks more for them than it does for the big name characters who will likely be back eventually.

Especially for Dazzler. Seriously, she is insanely different from 616. Ultimate Dazzler is practically a 100% new character and had so much potential. I have no clue why they would actually kill off someone so different, especially when they WANT the line to be different.

rdfox said...

Oh, Jim Hellwig, you never fail to entertain in your batshit insanity. (No, Mountain King, you were picturing Linkara hitting Warrior for inflicting these comics on us!)

As mentioned, Sarge was only an Iraqi sympathizer for about a year, as part of Vince McMahon's blatant and counterproductive attempt to cash in on the first Gulf War. His main eventing Wrestlemania 7 against Ultimate Warrior was such a flop at the box office that Vince was forced to move the event from the LA Coliseum (which you might remember from the '84 Olympics, or the days when LA had a football team) to the 15,000-seat LA Sports Arena instead, to avoid having about 60,000 empty seats visible on the pay-per-view broadcast. The entire rest of his career, he was doing a Marine drill instructor gimmick (appropriate, since he was genuinely a Marine DI in the early 70s), first a sadistic version as a bad guy in the 70s, then a superpatriot good guy in the 80s who ended up as a GI Joe character.

Personally, I'm just hoping Spoony's up to editing the Warrior #4 review soon, because as good as Lewis's impression is, the Ultimate Spoony is better!

So... should we call this Ultimate Month?

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

Razorvine: Valiant did many WWF comics, mostly through their 'Battlemania' magazine-formatted comics that lasted five issues. The 'Illustrated Action Books' were softcover books reprinting stories from Battlemania. There is one other book that features the Ultimate Warrior: Wait 'Till I Get My Hands On..., which had a lead story featuring the Warrior Vs. The Undertaker, as well as a back-up story of 'Big Boss Man Vs. The Mountie' that is drawn by... STEVE DITKO!

Also rival WCW had a comic book of their own published by Marvel at that time!


blake said...

I really love your old man voice, even more than your Warrior voice.

What is that ring tone? It sounds familiar. I know I should know it.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"So... should we call this Ultimate Month?"

I considered calling it that, but since Superman Meets the Quik Bunny fell on May 2nd, it wouldn't have really worked out. XD

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"What is that ring tone? It sounds familiar. I know I should know it."

It's the communicator beep from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Jer Alford said...

Sounds like Bimbos B.C. is a spinoff or something of the unobtainable "Bimbos In Time".

CMWaters said...

"So... should we call this Ultimate Month?"

"I considered calling it that, but since Superman Meets the Quik Bunny fell on May 2nd, it wouldn't have really worked out. XD"

Why not? You had a non origin story Brute Force comic in Secret Origins month..

Justin said...

NOOO, the Moffat Paradoxes have invaded AT4W!!! We're doomed! DOOMED!!!!!

Paul S. said...

I find it amusing that the hero in the second story found a career as a professional bodybuilder. At the time this comic came out Vince McMahon was trying to run his own promotion for professional bodybuilders the World Bodybuilding Federation and was cross-promoting it at WWF events.

Anonymous said...

WARRIOR! Dear God, only one more to go. I hope it's just as epic as it always is. :)

And I was so hoping for the 'SKRONK' this whole review. XD

Hey, why's Insano rocking new shades? (Probably from the Beastmaster 2 review on Spoonys site, but hey, what do I know?)

Great review as always Linkara! Can't wait to see the horror that is Ultimatum!


P.S. The physics joke had me laughing out loud. I was like 'Ha! Physics nerds unite!'. That totally made my day. :)

Anonymous said...

I will say if you were to Review a bad Valiant Comic try Bloodshot, he's one of the most 90's heroes ever. Still for the most part Valiant was a pretty good series of books and some fun concepts. Hell Solar is some thought provoking stuff at least the early issues. Still yeah did you know they also did a Captain N comic?

FugueforFrog said...

This review in a nutshell:


Yeah I ruined a lot but essentially after dealing with the Warrior and all his Hypertime, logic-defying mumbo-jumbo for so long, this comic didn't reveal anything new...but was still hilarious as heck. I felt at moments like I was reading Kinnikuman instead of some WWF-sponsored crap...though at least in Kinnikuman they had insane things like roller skating races and prize machines...yeah, at least when wrestling gets wacky there, it's on purpose.

Gray Morality said...

When I heard the power ranger's communicator, I checked my phone because that is my text message ring tone. You are a tricky one haha

Jarkes said...

"Still yeah did you know they also did a Captain N comic?"
Actually, the Captain N comic (IIRC) came BEFORE the cartoon. And it actually had Samus Aran. Seriously, did you know that the reason Samus wasn't in the cartoon was because the writers had "never heard of her?" That's a Wall Banger if there ever was one, considering, y'know, Mother Brain was the main antagonist in Captain N. MOTHER BRAIN. AS IN THE BIG BAD OF THE ORIGINAL METROID GAME, SUPER METROID, AND ZERO MISSION. THE GAMES WHERE SAMUS IS THE PLAYER CHARACTER ...Gah, just typing that makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Excuse me. *thudthudthudthudthud* There.

blake said...

"Still yeah did you know they also did a Captain N comic?"

I have a "Nintendo Comics System" comic from Valiant. The main story is Super Mario Bros, but I think there's a Captain N back up story.

It was a gift.

SchweitzerMan said...

I remember being four years old and the Ultimate Warrior was my favourite wrestler. Hell, for Christmas I got one of those Wrestling Buddies for Christmas. However the face on the Warrior always creeped me out.

In fact I'm pretty sure that thing is still in my parent's crawlspace.

Anyway, I was looking forward to the REAL ending where Warrior rips Queen Sherri and the kid in half but I suppose I'll have to settle for my imagination for that.

Can't wait till next week's episode...if there is one of course.

Rarefindit said...

I would have never guessed you would eventually review that. Glad to have mistakenly found it for you. Let me know if you want me to accidently find more stuff for you to deliberately review.

JitteryJoe said...

Hate to break it to you dude, but WWF has *always* belonged to the World Wildlife Fund/World Wide Fund For Nature (It's the latter here in Europe) and they had an agreement with the now-WWE for a long time allowing them to use the name. Untill the wrestlers did something or somesuch to anger the wildlife people and took them to court.

Though I still call them WWF, I never really gave a damn for wrestling, even less so after the name change, I just remember the name from being a kid, though not much wrestling got on regular UK telly at the time.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't the Ultimate Warrior a DragonBall fanboy?

Would explain the training methods

Ebon said...

Describing Warrior as "great image, limited skills" was VERY kind. Warrior is widely regarded as having been one of the worst performers to ever be pushed (heavily promoted). His style consisted of four simple moves (clothesline, military press, shoulder block, splash) repeated endlessly and his only entertaining matches (against Randy Savage and Rick Rude) were when his more gifted opponants were covering for him. Since then, he's filed frivolous lawsuits against every promotion he worked for, been branded unemployable by every sensible promotion in the western world, no-showed a card promoted by a company he OWNED, made a speech to Young Republicans that was so offensive that everyone involved felt the need to apologise (except him) and now spends his time dispensing his particular brand of insanity on his website. If you can tolerate his rambling, the website is amusingly insane.

Sgt. Slaughter and Gen. Adnan hated their Iraqi sympathiser gimmick too, largely because it was so tasteless that they needed bodyguards and had to wear bullet-proof vests in public.

Been looking forward to your Ultimatum review for months now. Can't wait.

SchweitzerMan said...

One thing I forgot to say that I was a bit let down that we didn't see Spoony do a cameo as the Warrior. Granted I think he needs a better wig when he does the UW but the stuff he has him say always makes me laugh, like a lot of Spoony's work.

I honestly thought that this was going to be a real workout guide, showing what the ultimate warrior does to get in shape. But like you said, chances are it was steroids.

Brand said...

I just have to say this episode very literally make me lol down to my insides. Great episode!

Anonymous said...

"It's the communicator beep from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers."

I've had the on my phone for a few years now. When ever my boss calls me I hear it play and know I have work to do.

My main ringtone is that of the TOS communicators...Hard to believe that there are main geeks/nards that are both Star Trek fans and Power Rangers fans.


Jarkes said...

Say, that Mighty Morphin communicator beep thing remind me: Are you, like me, hopeful that Saban will release the old Power Rangers seasons on DVD? Or, for that matter, give ALL the seasons full DVD releases? I certainly hope so. I don't want to have to watch Nicktoons Network just to watch some classic Power Rangers (especially considering that, apparently, Saban has NO IDEA when they're going to start re-airing the old episodes on Nicktoons Network).

Dave said...

WWE, a few years back, released a a music compilation called "WWE Anthology" covering the 80s through the current day.

According to that collection, the Ultimate Warrior's theme was called "Unstable" (fittingly enough)

There was some theme recycling going on to, as that theme is very similar to the theme used by the tag team of "The Rockers".

Anonymous said...

Okay, since some people seem to be trying to explain the WWF/WWE issue and no one seems to have got it correct yet: The agreement with World Wildlife Fund was that they would not market the WWF products in the UK, because the Wildlife Fund was mostly known as the definition for WWF there. When WWE decided to move into these markets, they were forced via lawsuit to change their logo. This, however, only applies to the logo that the agreement was originally made on (the scratch logo), thus why WWE can still show the old WWF logo, but cannot refer to themselves as WWF. Also fun fact: WWE is now the name of the company and not World Wrestling Entertainment. It is now no longer an acronym for anything.

Frankie Addiego said...

Dude, I wrote that, "know yourself! Be yourself! And you can do anything!" quote on my Facebook, and people complemented it. Weird, but I'll take it.

P.S. Don't post that last thing I was gonna write.

Yogurt said...

Oh great, just what the public needed to see: a steroid abusing freakshow giving advice on physical fitness to children.

rocklobster said...

Valiant had a whole line of those wrestling comics called Battlemania. You know, you totally forgot to mention Valiant's infamous crossover with Image called Deathmate. According to TVTropes, it's believed to have caused the Great Comics Crash of 1996.

Anonymous said...

Is ir really pathetic that I acctually know a pro wrestler by the name of Ryan Mitchell who uses the MMPR communicator sound as a ring tone?


shikima said...

Interesting that after this video came out, we started hearing on the news about how today was supposed to be the end of the world. I guess the Hypertime crisis was worse than we thought.

I guess since the end time had come and gone, this means you've fixed everything? :P

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

In 'Follow Your Spirit', Sgt. Slaughter was fresh off his only WWF heavyweight title reign... as an Iraqi sympathizer!

The fat guy in the other story was Earthquake.

Will you review OTHER wrestling comic books in the future?


Ming said...

Wow, that comic was bad.

While nowhere as bad as WARRIOR, the plot is stupid and the Ultimate Warrior's workout is insanely ridiculous.

Looking forward to the review on Warrior #4. Say, have you considered doing a feature on WWE Heroes?

NGT said...

Amusingly, I'd just returned from the gym when I watched this.

That may be your first rimshot. Please don't make a habit of it.

So where did the movie go? Or has it yet to be posted?

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

The Warrior #4 review might be coming next week!


Jeremy A. Patterson said...

There are some examples of BAD Valiant books out there:
Psi-Lords (A short-lived book produced in a 3-D process called Valiant Vision starring space cops!)
Geomancer (A blind crooked cop becomes guardian of the Earth!)
The 'new' Secret Weapons (Issues #11 to #22. The original SW was Valiant's Avengers. This one was a dull team book!

A SBIG choice is Bloodshot for being a cliche storm!


Captain Sake Mangusto said...

So in another bit of my trip through the past : "When the 90's were ending the Linkara we actually knew was about to begin".

Makes me wonder what the 90's Kid was into at his last days when the 90's were ending. I guess is like imagine what Bruce Wayne looks like before he became Batman.

The World was going towards its end and a New World was about to begin, you need to add this to Atop the Fourth Wall Origins : The End is the Beginning The Beginning is the End a.k.a. 90's Ends Linkara Begins

End Credits - The Smashing Pumpkins - The End Is the Beginning Is the End

P.S.: Tripping through the past is awesome, you re the best tourist guide i ever found or will find, i am not really sure because this is the past so we didn't meet yet so forget it until 2012.

Enjoy your summer.

Anonymous said...

You don't need to let this post, but I keep getting a "episode not available" error when I try to watch this episode. It's the case with both my comps, even going straight to

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"You don't need to let this post, but I keep getting a "episode not available" error when I try to watch this episode. It's the case with both my comps, even going straight to"

Hmmm, I'll try reuploading it, but it seems to be working fine on my end.

Anonymous said...

Thx, it works now. Back to my AT4W marathon.

Anonymous said...

If you want a "Bad valiant book" you should try "Deathmate" it was a Valiant/Image Company Crossover and it's pretty much known for being utterly terrible (mostly on the image side though)