Monday, June 17, 2013

SCI-Spy #3

 photo SCI-Spy-3-Thumbnail_zpsc89179f0.jpg

Space espionage at its dullest and most uninteresting!

75 comments:

LucasChad said...

I imagine you'll do a special review on The Andromeda Strain miniseries sometime during the 5th anniversary special week later this year. Don't know if it'll be all by yourself or with at least one other reviewer, but I'm interested in what you have to say. One thing I'm sure you'll agree, I'm sure it's so bad that Robert Wise is spinning in his grave.

If for whatever reason that some one wants to bring this dumb comic series to the screen, they should look to your reviews for advisement or just turn to you for advisement whatever works in Hollywood.

renfid said...

really? a sex scene on a holodeck and no joke about kamandi getting late with the hollograms? its was an easy joke related with last week subject.

MadmanJohnson said...

Ah,Sci Spy. Will your stupidity never end?

Nevermore said...

At around 12:30, you mispronounce "Starchild" as "Starfile".

Utopian Entertianment said...

The writing of Doug Moench never senses to amaze with it stupidity.

I know I asked this a couple of days ago, and I know that contently asking wont help, but is Lightbringer going to become a public domain property? All I really want is an answer, most seemed to like the idea.

DontAsk4470 said...

It Doesn't really seem like James Bond in space,But more like Deus Ex in space.

WoodBuzz said...

wow this was early haha but great episode as usual lewis

ackbarfan5556 said...

Wait, Lewis? Did that Timothy Dalton comment mean that he's your least favorite Bond?

Nero Angelo said...

The perfect song for when your rubbing that DVD on yourself XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG_6CopW9GQ

Adam Bassett said...

Your opening monologue reminded me of SFDebris, but I like how you put your own, shouty, spin on this sort of thing.

MichaelJGleason said...

I liked the Space Oddity bit, and the giant rats bit in the credits, I assume you've read Mike Nelson's Death Rat, and that had a giant rat in it as well.

Anonymous said...

Heh, nice. I actually think the idea of future scifi espionage in space is an interesting one, but it doesn't seem well-executed here.

Surprised you didn't comment on the AIM uniforms the dock workers were apparently wearing. ;)

Yeah, it is annoying when some things try and go with 'there's no aliens anywhere' thing and have things that may as well be alien, plus the more sense it'd make. At least when Red Dwarf does that it has the excuse of not taking itself seriously. Why would anyone want to genetically engineer themselves into bug-monsters anyway? Think of all the money you'd need to spend on contact lenses.

nightmoon said...

I have to say, SCI-Spy #3 isn't a future I want to be apart of.
Great Review as always.

DMaster said...

Plotwise, I guess it's more interesting than the previous two issues, but the execution and characters are still so boring and stupid that it doesn't help.

No mention of Moench this time. Kudos. I doubt I'd be similarly focused, considering how easy it is to just hate on him more. At this point, a review of one his better-regarded comics might be in order at some point, just to fathom how the guy behind THIS, and those horrendous Elseworlds comics keeps getting work.

GoldenKing said...

"What's so dirty about a tesseract? It's just a freaking holodeck." No, no it is not. It is a fourth dimensional warp in space that in the simplest way to put it, contains multiple locations in the same space. Also, robo-frogs are so adorable, awwww.

Anonymous said...

Those Delivery Men wonder how their Employer "Burns through so much Cr@p?"
Linkara, I think we found what the future holds for "Atop The Forth Wall".

Nile seems to be the worst spy ever. I thought Spies were meant to Infiltrate, Be Sneaky. Instead, Nile and Sci-Spy just run in Guns Ablazing! Those aren't spies! Those are Children playing Marines!

Mother-Board can't be trusted? Well, we always know Nimue can be trusted. Can't we?

Volvagia said...

Okay. It finally looks like the series will have enough material to justify issue by issue reviews.

Thomas Petrie said...

Your opening speech was actually quite inspiring, and the joke with the Andromeda DVD actually made me snort. One of your best episodes in awhile.
Also, please film more ad bumpers!

Lizard-Man said...

I had to watch the review of the second episode again to remind myself of the stuff that happened in that comic.

Suffice to say, the worst element about the story was that scene with the two idiot dock workers. It's bad on multiple levels.

One: A strange glowing ball is tossed in front of them and they use the time it's flying towards them to give a long-winded bit of exposition. Which is ridiculous, since that thing should've exploded a second after it was thrown.

If the comic is to be believed it took half a minute to fly through the air, stood suspended in mid-air, allowed it's targets time to talk a little and then it exploded. That is worst grenade ever. Even worse than the one used by Reb Brown in Strike Commando.

Two: Why would you spend your time looking at the obvious explosive and talking about how you're getting hijacked? No human being, real human being, would do that. We'd run. Does this thing have hypnosis powers? How stupid are these guys?

Three: These two obviously knew nothing, were only working for paycheck and probably weren't involve in anything illegal as far as they were concerned. And our heroes just casually murder with a bomb instead of just knocking them out which would've been easier and less complicated than their stupid grenade thing! Hell, would make less noise too!

I was kinda confused myself over the revelation that the bad guys we've seen so far were all genetically modified humans and not aliens. I mean, seriously, how stupid is that? Just use aliens! Why does humanity in the future decide to mutilate themselves to become bug people or what not? What possesses to so that to ourselves? I can see maybe for shock value as an assassin, but Niles mods are probably the most likely and sensible. Why would do a full rehaul of our bodies to look like the ugly shit heads that populate this universe?

I'm sure there's a comic out there based on a original universe that isn't stupid. It just seems to be our luck that all the good ideas were already taken when they started this series.

Also, that title card was creepy.

Guy1 said...

first comment!
Great vid Linkara.

thorondragon said...

you ever worried that the futon might sure you one day for abuse? what with the hundreds of comics you threw done on it...

anyways, i would at least presume that genetically these altered bastards would still be recognizable as human, while the alien would of course have a different form of genetic code than humans would. though i am basing this largely on mass effect logic where they have two species with a very different genetic structure, different substance used for the codes and strands, than other species. this coding has it that they re entirely incapable of properly processing tissue and food stuffs that humans could digest without worry, and visa versa.

of course this comic is too full of stupid to even think of that. though i will admit i do like the part of what little plot exists about abandoning earth and hiding the fact they were forced off of it. though again, why would the species want to destroy them a thousand years later and, perhaps more so, why would they not encounter other species on their way forward?even if only one percent of planets produce organic life, then we would still be looking at hundreds species.

...... and dude, never say lactation fetish again....... that was fucking, if hilariously, creepy.

thorondragon said...

.....wait, if he was genetically engineered to begin with here, born from artificial means, wouldn't he technically already be genetically modified? they modified him to a certain point, just didn't give him like inhuman features or cyborg parts.....

...though moment they create splicing i am having myself turned into half crocodile or something. if ya gonna be genetically altered, do it with something beneficial, like one of the oldest species on the planet, or a gorilla, or something other than the shit we have seen in this comic.

Angel Asylum said...

Things I never thought I'd Hear #N: Linkara looking really creepy while saying Lactation Fetish... anyone else get the feeling the pretender on the throne might mean that someones with Possessed Linkara, or B: kidnapped him and this is a fake?
I mean Maybe Lewis is just changing, but there where some things in this review that just seem out of character to me maybe Lewis would like to answer?

areoborg said...

I know that your accent tends to make room sound like rum, but here's its appropriate. I felt like I needed some rum after watching these people...

The Andromeda Strain miniseries joke broke me.

Ol' Git said...

Sigh, haven't we learned anything?
you don't make a space-suit faster by adding fins, you achieve that by painting it red!

Also, I wouldn't be that excited about the warp-drive
Before you know it, we'll be worshiping a 20000 year old mummy, and sacrifice millions of children to it in horrifyingly painful ways, so that space demons won't end up raping us all to death

I'm actually surprised to see nudity like this in an American comics, considering the horrible censorship American publisher tend to inflict on French and Japanese comics

also, I'll gladly take you'r place on the title card :D

samurai-ko said...

I really need to stop watching these while I eat - I just about inhaled food up into my sinuses when you started singing "All By Myself" as Sean Connery, and then AGAIN when you started rubbing the DVD on your chest. :D

(Seriously, they made ANDROMEDA STRAIN a miniseries?! WHY?!)

BTW, love the little speech at the beginning about the amazing things that we can do in this day and age - even knowing what the setup was most likely to be, it still just... works!

NOTE: Your vids are widescreen, but the display on the AT4W site are like 4:3, so I've been watching them on blip itself...

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"I know I asked this a couple of days ago, and I know that contently asking wont help, but is Lightbringer going to become a public domain property? All I really want is an answer, most seemed to like the idea."

I got a mixed reaction to the idea so I'm still contemplating it.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Wait, Lewis? Did that Timothy Dalton comment mean that he's your least favorite Bond?"

No, I actually rather liked Dalton.

Jesse said...

Just based on the review of this issue, I'm tempted to say that this whole SCI-Spy thing is starting to sound like an idea that might have worked better if it had been presented in some medium other than print. It might not have been any better in terms of story or character had it been, for example, a movie, but at least it might have had the pacing to make it less boring that way.

From here, I suppose I should check out the previous SCI-Spy reviews to reassess my thoughts on just how much potential this thing seems to have, because there's part of me that says I should feel bad for thinking it could have been better than this.

Airrider1 said...

Nerd glasses!

There's two ways to make a space suit according to current ways of thinking: pressurize the interior so the inside has 1 atmospheric pressure like on Earth, or make the suit squeeze the wearer physically so it has the equivalent of 1 atmospheric pressure to offset the vacuum of space. The advantage of the latter is extra mobility and flexibility if you design the suit right.

Problem is, one wouldn't have boob-socks for that kind either.

Volvagia said...

Lewis: Would an impression of Sterling Archer be on the cards for the next episode covering this? Because that's more the voice I hear when I look at this idiot.

cannibalisticrequiem said...

So...ass-snapping...that's called "twerking".

Anonymous said...

Yeah I just love it when Linkara acts creepy, whether if its serious (the Entity) or more comedic (Moarte or That Guy with the Hat). Heck, sometimes Mechakara in To Boldly Flee reminds me of Yami Marik, if only because the rest of TGwtG was acting like a bunch of idiots.

Anonymous said...

The thing on the "gauntlet" looked to me like Vector Sigma from The Transformers cartoon.

FugueforFrog said...

Hey, Lazenby was in one of the Best Bond movies ever made. But then again.anyone's better than Sci-Spy.

So wait, there were no bugs, there are no aliens except the guy revealed at the end, and all we get are more robot freaks like the one from issue 1? Ugh...who the heck came up with this future anyway?

BTW: Not that anyone cares but somehow Doug Moench actually did make good comics once...before this crap. Shockingly he did a series at Marvel called "Master of Kung-Fu" starring Shang-Chi, adn that was more or less about a martial artist fighting Fu Manchu for MI-6...so yeah, Moench's probably gone nuts having de-evolved to Bond cliches.

Julie Paulson said...

Like last week, your review is fine, but even you can't make this comic entertaining.

red said...

yeah was good though wasnt into content of actual comic and when u said tesseract i thought be reference to avengers movie since the device i called that there

Lizard-Man said...

Does everyone know something I don't? I was under the impression that Anniversary movies are over and done with. Did someone change their minds cause a lot of people have been under the impression it's coming up again.

Ah well, just wanted clarification here, from someone.

Evan Carden said...

I think the "unsnapped asses" comment is a reference to the long, ridiculous mousetrap reference, though every mousetrap I've ever seen hits the neck, or back, not the ass...

Arianne said...

Alright, Since this is a comic that takes place in the future. It's time to whip out some fictional Future slang. SciSpy was supposed to be a schway guy but, he lacks the charisma for his job. Also, what the frack is up with lack of Aliens? Because I don't buy the explaination and the comic is schtako . There ya go future slang from : Batman Beyond, Battle Star Galatica and Defiance.

Jesse J said...

Please no more SCI-Spy. Some comics are just too bad to watch you review.

Also, thank you for the censoring. The last thing I wanted was naked aliens, or, whatever they were.

murderouscow said...

The biggest flaw with this episode? You didn't let all of Commander Hadfields Space Oddity cover play.

CuriousAbra said...

I'm not going to lie, this comic seems like dumb fun.

I can totally understand ragging on it for all its flaws, but ....man. .It's been so long since I've seen an original space story that isn't just a reboot or remix or re-imagining of something else.

Frosty said...

@Lizard-Man
"Does everyone know something I don't? I was under the impression that Anniversary movies are over and done with. Did someone change their minds cause a lot of people have been under the impression it's coming up again.

Ah well, just wanted clarification here, from someone."

The last thing I heard was that there would be an anniversary special, but it won't include the Nostalgia Critic (sadly).
(I admit this was a few weeks ago though.)

Anonymous said...

Wait, They say Sci-Spy is their Lead Agent because he "Wasn't Genetically Altered"?
How does that make him more qualified to be a Spy?

If you did want Secret Agents, couldn't you hire someone whose been Genetically Altered to be like a Chameleon or even one that shoots stinging darts?

Anonymous said...

Nothing good can come from warp travel
I mean, have you seen Event Horizon?

Between this, and the Terminator, the dark ages seem more appealing by the minute

C-Puff said...

The file thingy they find in the cave kinda looks like the Millennium Crystal from Sailor Moon. If it was though I'm betting this would've turned into a much more interesting comic.

I'm also getting the feeling that this is somehow gonna tie into "Superman: Distant Fires"

...Marville plz?

Anonymous said...

I get the feeling that the real reason Nile was the one who charged in to get the 'Lucifer File' (so original naming isn't it) wasn't that they wanted her to do something but because they didn't want their main character messing up and tripping an alarm so they had the woman do it instead.

And GOD, the dialogue isn't dialogue! It's cliche after cliche!

It's pretty clear the writers were just trying to write James Bond in Space without actually having the ability to write a good James Bond story. Their attempts at character development seem more like just pushing a scene with no foreshadowing, events are given in long pieces of exposition, the fights aren't well drawn, the reveals are pretty weakly written and there doesn't seem to be any sense of pacing.

It's all the worst of the James Bond type spy genre without anything that makes Bond still appeal to audiences decades after Dr. No was first released in theaters over fifty years ago.

Megan said...

Hurray, someone else that hated the Andromeda Strain miniseries!

*Me while watching your review* Wow, this comic is so damn boring and misogynistic and OH MY GAWD THOSE FROGGIES AND THE CYBERMAT ARE SO CUTE!

Anonymous said...

Doug Moench continues to frustrate me. Mostly because he wrote a very good James Bond miniseries for Dark Horse called Serpent's Tooth in addition to all of Shang Chi's spy adventures with MI-5 during the 70's. The guy is so maddeningly inconsistent with his great work being held alongside crap like this and JLA Act of God. And it's not like all his recent work has been awful, the MAX Master of Kung Fu was great. Still, SCI-Spy was a serious misstep for him.

Dehumanizer said...

I'm in the minority here, but I didn't think this was so bad as everyone says; in fact, this review (more than the ones of the past 2 issues) made me curious enough to buy the entire trade on Comixology.

This may be because I like Moench and Gulacy (I *loved* them both on Master of Kung Fu, which unfortunately will probably never be republished because Marvel lost the rights to the Sax Rohmer characters (Fu Manchu, Sir Denis Wayland Smith, etc.)). About the art, yes, it's weird in an age of superrealism, but it would fit perfectly in the 70s, and, indeed, at the time Paul Gulacy was a highly respected artist, considered the heir of the great Jim Steranko (who wrote and drew the best Nick Fury ever).

Doresh said...

Aww, frogganids :D !

The "Aliens are for realz!" feels terribly contrived and might even be a retcon to somehow make the revelation of "OMG aliens from another dimension are coming!" more shocking. I mean seriously, those where all modified humans in the previous issue?
Oh well, maybe the genius writer forgot to inform the artist in time...

And what's with that attitude? "We haven't found aliens till now so that must mean we're the only ones!". Has Douglas Adams not teached you that the universe is incredibly huge?!

Also, how does the human society forget that they have been driven off their planet by demonic aliens from another dimension?

Amnesia said...

After over a year of meatspace issues that kept me from following the show regularly, I'm caught up again! Huzzah!

Good to see you're still being your awesome self. I've been a fan since Mechakara first showed up, and I still do a happy dance every time I hear the theme song. Sure, it gets me weird looks at McDonald's, but what do they know?

About this particular review, I think that popper scene could've done with a "It's hypnotizing us with its cheap novelty" clip. Otherwise, loved it. Keep up the good work, don't give in to the dark side, stay classy, yada yada yada. I raise a bottle of Ren Faire Red Muscadine Grape Cider to your health, my good sir! Live long and prosper! Huzzah!

Anonymous said...

Lewis? Andy Frogman wrote a response to your Identity Crisis video, but then it got rather long.

Thus. http://forum.ultima-java.com/viewtopic.php?f=174&t=1619
re

Are you going to response to it?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Are you going to response to it?"

Yeah, it was well over a year ago and no, I'm still not going to.

Anonymous said...

He was defanding the RAPE! LOOK
'13. Rape exists... saying that it can't happen in a comic is ridiculous. On top of that your reasoning is flawed. The heroes needed a catalyst, this is true, but in order to lower themselves to the point of erasing and altering the mind of Dr. Light it has to be a sick and twisted crime. Rape is sick and twisted enough for me, would you rather he murder her?

It's got nothing to do with being edgy or adult, these criticisms are not based on fact, but are your own assumptions, of what you think was going through the writers mind at the time. That would be like me saying I don't like My Little Pony, that's a welcome opinion, just as you don't like Identity Crisis, that's your prerogative. However what you are doing here by putting your own faulty reasoning into this is like me saying "I don't like My Little Pony because it's a nihilistic metaphor about how all religion is wrong and corrupting our children to be homosexual murderers."

rape is there because it's a powerful image, shock value, I can go with, but enough damage is done, that mind wipe and reconfiguring can be seen as a step up. No one is going to side with a rapist. (That said mind wiping could be seen as a type of rape... draw your own moral conclusions on that little tidbit.)'

Lewis Lovhaug said...

He is entitled to his opinions, even if I think he's wrong.

There is no need to "respond" to him. My video spoke for itself and doesn't need some kind of internet pissing contest over that book. I laid my cards on the table, he laid his cards on the table. Simple as that.

Anonymous said...

Why do you think he's wrong.

I don't mean to be rude but i find it uncomfortable the way he defand it.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Because yeah, rape is a powerful image and shock value... and that's pretty much exactly what it is and that's all it has. Shock. It's a continued use of a crime that is not like murder and is a pervasive problem in our society and is utilized ONLY as a shock tactic. The implication that I don't want rape in comics whatsoever is eyeroll-worthy and that the problem, as always, is the execution, as I stated in the video - this is not a story about Sue Dibny's rape or her recovery from it. It's a story about a bunch of heroes doing a morally-questionable thing in response to a crime. Rape is not a subject to be used casually for your story to show how OTHER people respond to it. It's the sign of a lazy writer and is a persistent problem in media and rape culture overall.

And since it's been brought up, yeah, I am going to say the mind wipe was wrong and would have done the Batman thing in trying to stop them. Because even criminals have rights. Either everyone has rights or no one does.

End of story.

And I really hope you aren't going to try to repost this to him. Like I said - I am not interested in getting into an argument OVER A YEAR AND A HALF LATER about a subject that as far as I'm concerned is closed.

That's my opinion. That's the end of it. If you want to keep posting about it, do it in the actual video's comment section. This is for SCI-Spy #3 and I want to keep subjects related to their comment threads.

Anonymous said...

I am NOT going to repost this to him.

It just felt wrong to ignored it.

Anonymous said...

Oh and Thanks for you response

Cat C said...

Ugh. I've been waiting for this and knew I'd be disappointed with finding out what was going on but damn this was lame.

So that giant d-100 was just that file... how did they put it there without blowing the place up?

Oh wait, sorry I'm sure that question made too much sense for this comic.

And the random sex, I'd say there were ripping off a James Bond formula for story telling but then there would need to be a story.

I agree about people needing to come up with names other than "mother" for computers. Wasn't the computer in Alien mother? (Not the android but what controlled the ship, I could be way misremembering though).

Review was awesome though.

Megan said...

Other names for computers? Sure, how about:

HAL

AM

GlaDoS

Colossus

Skynet

Better?

Anonymous said...

I know this has nothing to do with this video, but I just need to share this

Last month, the Adventure Time and My Little Pony comics both outsold Superior Spiderman

what you want make out of it

le-messor said...

Did anyone else think the D-100 scene was a rip-off of the opening to Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Lazenby? He lives in the next town over! Or did, or something.

Cat C:
Yes, the computer in Alien was named Mother.

Anonymous said...

Hey, folks. First time commenting on the site.

I wanted to ask an unrelated question:

Does anybody know what episode Linkara does an introduction for Jack Kirby and his Fourth World stories?

I remember that it had big dramatic thunder and Linkara saying "There came a time when the old gods died!"

Thanks in advance.

Anonymous said...

Do you expect the current storyline to run until February 2014 or for it to stop at the end of Halloween?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Do you expect the current storyline to run until February 2014 or for it to stop at the end of Halloween?"

End of Halloween. I have other plans for what happens after that point and this storyline can't really be stretched out to February.

Ming said...

Sheesh. This comic sure is stupid and boring. Boring characters, bad artwork, stupid plot. You expect me to believe that all these weird-looking creatures we've seen are not really aliens from outer space? I mean, maybe if they were referring to aliens outside known space or from alien dimension, yeah, but all these creatures and they say there's no aliens up til now? I'm sorry but this is an absolute FAIL!!!

le-messor said...

"Does anybody know what episode Linkara does an introduction for Jack Kirby and his Fourth World stories?

I remember that it had big dramatic thunder and Linkara saying "There came a time when the old gods died!""

That actually sounds like it could be one of the Silent Hill openings. There was one kind of like that, iirc.

~ Mik

Volvagia said...

le-messor: I think that was the Countdown Prologue.

le-messor said...

Thanks, Volvagia.

~ Mik

Anonymous said...

The idea of humanity self modifying to the point that basically any 'alien' species is actually just another flavour of Pan-Humanity is actually a pretty neat idea and has been explored quite well in a lot of Science Fiction. This? This is less well done.

William Ngo said...

"Unsnapped asses" isn't that weird. Ass is commongly used to just refer to a person. Simple way of doing it:
Punk ass -> Punk self
Self essentially meaning person
I used to hear 'self' used a lot, but I guess 'ass' replaced it... yeah, bad gangster lingo is everywhere where I grew up.

Eustass Kid said...

Great review as always. I don't really have anything to add to any kind of discussion concerning the comic, I just wanted to share a dumb moment I had.
It's silly and kind of childish on my part, but when we catch you putting on the costume in the skit before the commercials, I couldn't help but laugh as it cut to it straight after the lactating bit, making it seem as you changing your clothes after an accident.
I hope no one takes offence, as I just wished to share this ridiculous little moment.
Keep up the good work Linkara! I might not agree with you on everything, but I always get where you're coming from and respect your view.
I also want to thank you as you're reviews have been helping me through some tough times recently.

But anyway this is getting kind of long so I'm gonna end it here.
Greetings from Iceland!