Wednesday, January 14, 2009

These guys should've done it

And now, in light of the major spoilers from the last post, allow me instead to make a different sort of illustration. See, since this blog is really all about bad comics from the past, Civil War is technically a bad comic from the past, so let's use this to start a new segment: These Guys Should've Done It!

The simple fact of the matter with Civil War is that they had a great debating question and Marvel dropped the ball with it. So, instead let's bring out our contenders.

On the pro-registration side, we have David Willis of Shortpacked! fame.



On the anti-registration side, I have whoever it was that wrote this parody/response of Sally Floyd's famous "America's all about MySpace and Youtube and not ideals" bullcrap:



Now THAT would be a cool debate in a comic book and we wouldn't have had to sit through that nonsense that spun out of it. ‎

16 comments:

VashtheStampede said...

Take a good look Marvel; if you had actually taken the time to plan and coordinate Civil War and pretty much every other crossover over you've had over the past few years, you might have had something classic, maybe even iconic, rather than the Wallbangers you keep expecting us to buy. Kudos to whoever wrote the Cap parody.

Anonymous said...

Trying to use Iron Man as an analog to George W. Bush because they both had a drinking problem? Oooh, how CLEVER. :P

Anonymous said...

The main problem with Hero Registration stories is that they try and make an anaolgy between mutants/superhumans and minority groups (in the 60s and 70s, African Americans and in modern times GLBT groups). While there is some similarity (i.e. hated and feared for something they have no control over) the fact is in real life you don't have to worry about a minority group destroying a building with their brain. If mutants were real, it would be foolish not to keep track of people who are living weapons, and so the so-called moral (people shouldn't have to register what they are) falls kind of flast.

Anonymous said...

isnt living weapon kind of an understatement? how about capable of leveling an entire planet because you were born that way? ur right though its a silly analogy but someone is making money off of it. I personally think they should have fought over who should really be in charge, weak non-super powered humans, or super intelligent super powered beings that stand for all that good stuff like truth, justice and the american pb&j?

Craig said...

I replied to Shortpacked with this when the comic was new, but Willis totally ignored how much of a dick Tony was.

Let's ignore throwing any hero who did not want to sign their name into Marvel Azkaban without a trial, and forcing any child with powers to be signed up into the hero army (with War Machine pointing a repulsar ray at their face).

Instead, let's focus on Spidey and Shulkie, as he described.

Shulkie had every right to be pissed, as she was flat out lied to, ripped from her lawyer job to work for SHIELD to rally up the ingredients for the depowering toxin which 1. could have saved Bruce from being shot into space, 2. Tony uses on her at the end of that plot.

Tony sleeps with her, uses her, lies to her and then attacks her for being upset about it.

Spidey, though. The guy was registered. He's not illegal. He was just having doubts and tried to leave the tower and BAM, blasted through a wall, hunted down and made a criminal. The guy got thrown out of a window for having a doubt. A reasonable one at that, given he was shown the negative zone prison.

I can accept Spidey took his mask off of his own accord, but he was still legal, Tony made him into the criminal by refusing to talk or yield. Pete was walking out the door, so bam. He's on the streets with his identity open.

He had the option of protecting them on several occassions, and the only charitable thing he did was send Jarvis to fund Aunt May's medical bills, long long after the moment of guilt or remorse.

...

But the "you lack responsiblity" sentiment still holds up because HE SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE FREAKING DEVIL.

...and Clor was evil. Pure and simple. Either Reed or Tony has to be demonfied for his existance.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

And yet Willis still made a compelling argument, hence why he'd have done a better job with the registration aspect than what we got. ^_~

Anonymous said...

I wanna say that the anti-reg piece was MightyGodKing, but I'm not sure.

William F. Schar said...

They could have done it exactly the same way, but change only a few key elements, like... have their characters behave like they actually would have behaved.

Back in the days when Peter Gyrich was trying the first time to run a superhuman registration act in the 80s (i think?), Mr. Fantastic TESTIFIED BEFORE CONGRESS on why there should not be such a thing. I kid you not.

What part of TESTIFIED BEFORE CONGRESS makes you think that he'd change his mind. If you TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS you aren't going to change your mind about what you happen to be talking about.

Oh well, c'est la vie.

You know, it strikes me, that they shouldn't have made it into a "war." You know? Should have made it more like the House Unamerican Activities Committee, or Black Listings of the 50s. I guess focusing on the debate with, you know thinking, rather than with fists isn't very palatable to what they think their audience is.

Sigh...

Anonymous said...

Who made that Sally Floyd thing?

TimeTravelerJessica said...

The Civil War storyline had a lot of potential, but ended up being pretty much made of fail.

My understanding is that we were supposed to think that the pro-registration side was right ... But if that's true, why did they derail Tony into a Knight Templar bordering on a Complete Monster? This thing should have been planned out much differently, because both sides have really valid arguments that were kind of lost in, "Let's be dark and edgy and serious ... oooh look superhero fight."

SubbyP said...

Anonymous #2 said: "If mutants were real, it would be foolish not to keep track of people who are living weapons, and so the so-called moral (people shouldn't have to register what they are) falls kind of flast."

Hey, Anonymous #2, the government doesn't track people with black belts, swords, large sticks, cleaning agents, baseball bats, axes, BB guns, rope, power cords, scarves, safes, kitchen knives, communicable diseases, big hands, icicles, bees, or large, legal dogs, all of which are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of killing people and causing destruction.
I am perfectly physically capable of killing another living being. So are you. So is Linkara. So is practically every one you will ever meet.Powers have nothing to do with it. Innocent until proven guilty is the foundation of the American justice system. Having a mutant power doesn't make you a supervillain any more than having a car makes you a hit-and-run driver.

Ein said...

Going by that iron-man comic, they'd have frozen Superman in carbonite or something. Not because he's evil, but because bad things not of our world seem to gravitate towards him and he just smashes them away with our cars, punches them through our buildings and then flies away with a beaming smile to the cheers of the now unemployed or homeless.

Power causes problems. Regardless of what you use it for. Giving a nuclear bomb the ability to a sentient passive and caring being doesn't make it any less of a threat. It just feels to me like the registration side was based on the argument "Any and all failed artists who prove to be too charismatic must be put to death. Because they may become the next Hitler!" and that's just fail logic.

The Lord of √Ābrocen Landmearca said...

The strip is from MightyGodKing's completely brillaint Civil War re-write: http://mightygodking.com/index.php/i-dont-need-your-civil-war/

Anonymous said...

"Hey, Anonymous #2, the government doesn't track people with black belts, swords, large sticks, cleaning agents, baseball bats, axes, BB guns, rope, power cords, scarves, safes, kitchen knives, communicable diseases, big hands, icicles, bees, or large, legal dogs, all of which are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of killing people and causing destruction." -SubbyP

Bees. My God.

Anonymous said...

Love seeing Captain America stick to Sally Floyd, even if it isn't canon. That character needs to die.

Anonymous said...

I personally think the idea of forcing superheroes to try and be held accountable is stupid in a setting where this only just happening after an incident that's minor compared everything else in the Marvel universe and that the US government is powerless to enforce if none of the superheroes feel like obeying it.