Monday, March 9, 2009

Amazons Attack #1 and #2


So, according to this comic, I could successfully storm Washington, D.C. armed with nothing more than a fork.


43 comments:

Alex Stritar said...

Wow. So Wonder Woman barly appears in her own crossover comic? I do have to wonder what exactly the pitch meeting for the story itself was like. You would think that if the fans can understand the histories and personalities behind the characters, that the companies and writers would have a good understanding as well. Seriously, I sometimes thin the fans of stuff are the only ones that trely nderstand them.

Gabriel said...

So all of the Amazons, a group of wise, technologically advanced, peaceful women, follow their recently resurrected and even more recently mentally deranged queen to slaughter innocent civilians with swords and bows...wha? Did the Amazons all get get wasted on drugs? Did Superboy start dryhumping reality?

I'm just saying, it's a good policy to not immediately follow someone who just recently was resurrected (even the apostles questioned Jesus).

By the way Linkara, I hear ya on multi-part events that span series (pissed me off when I was a kid because there were no comic shops and Marvel seemed to have one every week).

Anonymous said...

To be fair, people in Washington really do just refer to the National Mall as "the Mall," and if you say "the Mall" in downtown DC, that's the only thing you're going to think of. So describing the position of a building as "just across the Mall" is a perfectly normal and descriptive way of saying that he was nearby. Which doesn't take away at all from the complete crappyness of the comic, but still.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Yeah, I figured that was the case, but I figured a cheap joke would be fine. ^_~

mightysamurai said...

Dear GOD but Amazons Attack was a stupid comic. I still don't get what the point of it all was. I mean, were they trying to send some sort of political message? Were they cleaning up some continuity snarl? If so then they failed utterly since as far as I noticed the ending didn't resolve any nagging questions or tie up any loose ends, and any political messages that might be gleaned from this are so mangled and contradictory that they might as well not have bothered in the first place.

Truce Weston said...

Wow! This event had more holes in than a used mosquito net! I am dying to know what happens next! Awesome video! So until I get that Lasso of Truth jump rope with my Wonder Woman Happy Meal, Make Mine Linkara!

TV's Grady said...

Also in the interest of fairness, the museum is supposed to be the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History.

Bubble Yum German said...

So rarely does anything have me at a loss for words, as what I saw in this.......this.........THIS! *shakes head* It frightens me to think where will it go. Can I just sit and hide in US1 where it's safe from this mess?

日本文化のマニアック said...

In the original Greek, Circe would've been pronounced "keer-kee" and we wouldn't have that wonderful tongue-twister.

Very few people can pull of decent political critique in comic book form. Clearly these writers were not among them. "Lex News" for "Fox News"? That's like Futurama referencing how they're company is owned by the "Box Network," only there it's /supposed/ to be stupid and funny.

Anonymous said...

I sense a few Spoony references, "the if the ____ isn't going to care about the story why should I?!!?" and the "Only (insert number) more to go".
A great episode, and a perfectly hilarious delivery.

Animikean said...

"Remind me why I... again"
Because dear Linkara, comic book fans root for the underdog, even if the underdog is buried up to it's eyeballs in shit of it's own making.

We want to find the shining character/ story element/ clever idea pull out, clean it off and show it love.

Hey, if we all got this cured in our psyches our lives would be duller and comic book sales would drop by 90%.

Nick said...

World War Hulk is a great example of a terrible event comic (also a good series for you if you are so inclined) because it involves every single major Marvel series, and about 3-4 dozen comics if you want to get everything.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

See, I actually liked World War Hulk. His attack made perfect sense given what happened to him, and even if you saw the ending coming a mile away, nobody was killed and that beatdown he gave Iron Man in the first issue is still one of the best he received after Civil War (speaking of, it gave more justification for his actions than any other book had really done).

Dave said...

I've been watching these for a while and I think you are hilarious. I just wish I knew about the comic stuff you were talking about

Carol A. Strickland said...

I love you.

I hate Amazons Attack. With a vengeance. All people associated with it (except the artist) should have been fired and their cars incinerated.

AA was truly the nadir of over sixty years of WW history. The worst part of it is that though DC acknowledges its awfulness, we are still forced to take it into account within WW continuity.

Hilarious video. Love, love, love it!

Rhomega said...

My last name is Pfeifer too...but I'm not related to Will.

But yeah, this comic sucks and makes no sense. I was hoping for a lot more of Wonder Woman.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Prepare to continue to be very disappointed. ^_~

Anonymous said...

"Prepare to continue to be very disappointed. ^_~"

And of course, laughing at said disappointments. Because it's always fun to laugh at crap.

Thanks for the hilarity, man.

The Anonymous Poster Guy

The House of C.R.P said...

Oh lord, this looks awful! Are we sure this comic does not take place in Idiot Land? It makes me laugh that they are trying to portray the Amazons has feminists, when they just come off as vicious murderers.

"We will show the USA our Warrior might! Which is why we are killing unarmed men and their children, as well as wounded pilots!"

It looks like you are in the same boat as Spoony, seeing how he still has to review 3 more discs of Final Fantasy 8.

Anonymous said...

You know this comic is starting to bring back memories of the remake of "The Wicker Man", memories that I have done everything in my power to bury.
Just curious, Linkara, but have you seen the original film? And if so, have you seen the remake? If your answers are yes and no, then consider yourself lucky. If it's no and no, you should check out the original, it's pretty interesting, and it features Christopher Lee. If the answer is no and yes (the remake is the one that stars Nicholas Cage), then the answer is the same as the previous except I have to add "poor you".

Lewis Lovhaug said...

I've seen neither, but I know enough about both.

mightysamurai said...

"Are we sure this comic does not take place in Idiot Land?"

God willing, some future DC writer will eventually retcon it that way.

Paul S. said...

Hey Linkara. Not sure if you read it but I was wondering if you had any opinion on "War of the Gods." DC's other Wonder Woman-centric event?

I find the fact that DC waited like 10+ years between Wonder Woman based events telling.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

I've never actually read it in its entirety, but BlueFall, the woman who did the series on Wonder Woman on Scans_Daily ("When Wondy Was Awesome") did summarize the issues and it seemed like there were some excellent stories in there, but a lot of the tie-ins were pointless and stupid.

B.R. said...

After your watchmen review which touched a nerve because as a partial fan of the comic and a big fan of movie cinema I thought it was amazing, I was starting to lose faith in you. Hearing the office space reference reminded me that you arent a fanboy, you are a F^cking nerd:D

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Yes, plus I've mellowed out over Watchmen. ^_~

Scott said...

So how exactly did the Amazons travel the 1,000+ miles from Washington D.C. to Kansas (all of Kansas) that quickly? Or was it magic and therefore doesn't need an explanation?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

We get to it next episode. ^_~

B.R. said...

Good to hear, I can certainly understand angry sentiments about a comic (I hated iron man at fist) I'm just glad that you're still as funny as ever!

Ilushia said...

I would dare say that the -worst- part about all this is that for all its horrible terribleness, the central concept is actually fairly interesting and has potential to be really awesome. If they didn't screw everything up so badly it didn't make any sense.

For example: The Amazons get attacked by some group of men in American military uniforms who assassinate someone important there then die in their escape attempt. US denies all ties with it naturally resulting in hostilities. Amazons, believing themselves to be under attack, transport into the middle of DC with intent to argue the point directly. Superheroes intervene to prevent all-out war, resulting in a nasty standoff as both sides are trying to decide who's responsible which is rapidly degenerating towards all out war. Wonder Woman finds some evidence that it's in fact the League which was responsible for the initial attack, forcing her into the position where she can either reveal to the world that a group which is -supposed- to be heroically saving everyone is apparently sponsoring hits on high-profile individuals espousing to world peace (Especially nasty as there are people who would claim that true world peace would mean the League would be vastly less important). As the talks break down and open war grinds closer and closer, Wonder Woman has the weight of two civilizations resting on whether or not she's willing to turn on those who are supposed to be her friends and allies or whether she supports them and risks the deaths of her people on -both- sides. Not a pretty place to be for someone who's supposed to represent the concept of 'truth'.

Unfortunately the chances of getting a really well written out storyline like that with a satisfactory conclusion in main continuity is about as likely as someone miraculously discovering the cure for cancer by knocking three test tubes off a table into a trashcan together.

Anonymous said...

I've read through this bullcrap, and it sucks. From start to finish. It sucks. Hard. Especially the ending. (I won't spoil it for anyone, you'll just have to wait for Lewis's videos on it...)

Keep up the hilarity, man.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

For another interesting moral dilemma on the concept of Wonder Woman having to choose between two legitimate truths (and further ecidence why her little soul-searching mission is bullcrap for someone like her), I recommend hunting down "JLA: Golden Perfect," Ilushia. ^^ Great stuff there.

mightysamurai said...

Off-topic but everybody has got to check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w&eurl=http://ace.mu.nu/

Best cartoon show ever?

Best cartoon show ever.

Celebrindal said...

Ah Amazons Attack... so little grounding in reality or comic book history. Doesn't a single person at DC realise how difficult it would be to hit a jet fighter with an arrow, let alone the pilot inside? I know that is a small reason why these comics suck, but that is what destroyed any lasting hope I had for this series.

The sad thing is I know it only gets worse from here.

May you continue to burn these horrible comics Linkara, so they may never hurt us ever again!!!

Lanthroviel said...

Are recap of so recents comic allowed?I mean, that was out in 2007, and I wouldn't to see you having problem, now thats you're on my top 3 fanlist (among with TGWTG and Spoony :p).

Great review anyway,as for the comic, yeah, the "Arrow who pierce through the glass/plexiglas/whatever" really is WTF, not only to break the glass, but also for HITING him, I mean, jeez, it's a Fighting jet,it was flying at least at 100mph or more...and it was pretty high...Try to hit that with an arrow..
Anyway, the amazons are now some bloodlust bitch, not only against man, but against manKIND(as they Murdered the pilot woman)?I'm really expecting next monday now! :D

Anonymous said...

For some reason, I keep reading the title as "When Amazons Attack!" which makes it funny in a stupid reality TV way.

If you pretend that it's all being manufactured for some TV show, then it starts to be less crappy.

Kinda.

Maybe if you're drunk.

Son of Baldwin said...

Okay, this is totally my new favorite blog.

Birthmark Hal said...

Good review.

I did catch one clever thing, a little ironic in-joke by an artist that's on the ball. In the Smithsonian Institute there's a TV and Movie Hall of Fame containing a number of famous pop culture artifacts such as the origianl Kermit the Frog hand puppet and the Ruby Slippers from Wizard of Oz.

Hippolyta is sitting on Archie Bunker's easy chair from All in The Family. The Amazon queen sits on the throne of vintage TV's biggest misogynist slob.

Not sure how many got the joke, but I like it.

Brian Shanahan said...

I can explain the arrows beating guns part, using the idea of my favourite author, Terry Pratchett. It is The Code by which the barbarian heroes in his universe live, whereby "One brave man against seven ... won" and two sentences later "The higher the odds, the greater the victory."(both quotes from the novel The Last Hero The code has actually been stated elsewhere as "Million to one chances, come up nine times out of ten".
Now the writers probably never knew about The Code and would be too stupid to use it if they did, but it's still a good reason.

Angus Livingstone said...

Hey Lewis, just a thought for you and your character. I've come to the conclusion that if the TGWTG were a parallel to the JLA, you'd be like the Batman of the group.

EVIDENCE:
-You show indomitable will by forcing yourself to sit through such horrible freaking comics.
-You are a weapons master in all things nerdy.
-You appear to be an expert marksman, as you rarely miss your targets (Mechakara, Linksano, Vyce).
-Genius level intellect...otherwise I couldn't possibly explain how you manage to be so awesome.
-You proved to be a master technician and strategist in KickAssia when you led the team to overthrow the Critic.
-Escapologist...as you've quoted from the Doctor himself, if there is one thing you should never put in a trap, it's you.
-You might as well have a Batplane now that you have your own freakin' spacecraft.
-You easily disarmed the Nostalgia Critic by merely mentioning the Bat-Credit Card, the Critic's Kryptonite, indicating that you have studied your peers' weaknesses.

Seriously, man, the only thing you're missing now is some pointy ears and a cape.

Well, that, and about 18 years of training across the world learning all sorts of crap, plus forty kajillion dollars, but let's be realistic.

I now dub thee Bat-kara.

Anonymous said...

@Brian Shanahan

YOu do realise, that was a joke, making fun of such cliche?
Andeven if he was serious...
HOW IN THE HELL IS THAT A GOOD REASON?!!!?!?

Jeremy B said...

This entire review was great! Bees...my God! Perfection!
the only thing i would've done is use Metallica's Fight Fire with Fire. more punch for a powerful review.

Mateja Kovač said...

Well, at least Wonder Woman had a cameo in her own comic, that's something unique to brag about!