Monday, March 23, 2009

Amazons Attack #5 and #6


Well, in the end the Amazons did in fact attack, so I guess the comic did what it promised.



53 comments:

Anonymous said...

BAH, I GOT NOTHING TO DO BUT WAIT FOR SIX HOURS ANYWAY.

Anonymous said...

I CONCUR! I'm sure these sleep-deprivation caused pixies will go away on their own!!

palindration said...

This is gonna be AWESOME.

Say, when your brain is mush after this horrible comic is over, can I use it?

I have some... experiments to run...

*evil laughter*

Paul S. said...

Nooooooooo!!!! I can't wait.

Just out of curiosity what do you have lined up in the future once the horror of Amazons Attack is over? Any kind of schedule in the works?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

I'll post the next two months' worth of episodes after next week's episode of Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes #1.

Lizard-Man said...

The one that has amachine that turns doggy doodoo into gold right?

This is great, The Pitt is coming out on Xbox Live for Fallout and the finale to this gloriously crappy comic event review on the same day. I can catch them both! SWEET!

Anonymous said...

did you ever read batman vs daredevil? Its craptastic. I thought gee that would be cool ninja go go gadget vs blind radar ninja or man dressed like bat vs man with bat senses, but no the comic is just stupid. Apparently super heros from DC and Marvel have turf wars like gangsters cause they is teh business crime fighting in their own streets. Its like what? should they be helping eachother then maybe get in a fight over how to handle a situation? No they just dont want somebody interrupting their crime fighting by helping them fight crime?! Not exactly twin hitlers or I can become a Pope if I fight crime, but it maybe is "characters completely out of character" amazonians attackish?

Celebrindal said...

ah the ending to Amazons Attack, I can't wait.

....I NEVER thought i would say those words...

The House of C.R.P said...

That was a brilliant ending! Good work Linkara. It suits it that the whole thing turned out to be a pointless load of bollocks to lead into yet another load of bollocks.

But I know how Circe got her magic nulled......They used DOCTOR INSANO'S ANTI MAGIC BARRIER! AVAILABLE NOW ONLINE FOR ONLY $99.99!

Puddle Jumper said...

Oh my god, this is just plain horrible. What was DC thinking? This can't be real. I must have dreamt up the video. Lemme watch it again.
*watches*
AAAAAAAAARG! My eyes, it burns! MAKE IT STOP.
You sir, are a true hero. The self sacriface it had to have taken to make this.

Matt said...

What an abomination, I think you need therapy for what has got to be the stupidest tie-in I've seen. Who wrote this? Honestly, they should be taken outside, and shoot in an alley.

Oh, and the whole anti-magic thing reminded me of Spoony's new video. In this case I will agree with Insano about Zatanna that

"SKCUS ANNATAZ"

The animation at the end was a nice touch, it looks like you went into the time stream, did you rear end Booster and Rip?

David page said...

I really love the choice of music especially the masters theme at that point that was awesome

Gotta ask are you going to put yourself through the hell of THAT weekly series?

srgeman said...

So, when you do a list of the worst Countdown moments, where will the end of Amazons Attack appear?

Truce Weston said...

That was the most awesome review ever! More one-liners than a classic sitcom marathon. I genuinely feel bad for you that you had to review this to make the video. Are you ok? How you holding up dude? So until someone makes a deal with the devil to retcon this entire mess in exchange for their marriage, MAKE MINE LINKARA!

Cadmus said...

LOL! Calling Dooms IV saying you were sorry, genius! That and on top of that, an animation finale! SICK!!!!!

Anonymous said...

A tie-in to a frickin' tie-in!? Wow, not even Spider-Men making deals with devils could top such stupidity.

Does this mean you're going to tackle Countdown to Final Lameassery?

Nice animation at the end. Really unique ending.

Coop said...

WOW!!! Just WOW!!! I knew this comic was bad but I didn't know the ending was gonna be that bad. I kinda like the idea of Granny Goodness poseing as Athena, but what did she have to gain by staging a fake war. Anyway a great review as always, but this begs a certain question. Now that you've conquered Amazons Attack, are you brave enough to endure the horrors of Countdown?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

July. ^_~

Queen Anthai said...

....I will never distract you again.

EPIC ENDING IS EPIC.

(Dude, you got Bluefall! Sweet!)

Aurabolt said...

Ahh, poor Grace losing her ability to remain interesting in the plot and her attitude, despite the fact that I find snark irritating. She was still the best character here.

I just don't like snark due to the fact that it a) Never takes any threat seriously, b) has improper emotional context when used at kinder, nicer people, and c) When used by women, has a penchant to look down on men and continue that fact.

As I said before, I like well-developed characters of all kinds-sweet, smart, badass, crazy ego-maniacs (Yay Starscream!), capable- but when snark is used too often, like in Gail's work for example, it seems to care little about the little guy and really gives men the shaft...unless you're an awesome villain like Savant.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"but when snark is used too often, like in Gail's work for example, it seems to care little about the little guy and really gives men the shaft...unless you're an awesome villain like Savant."

Or Deadshot. Deadshot's snark is win.

"(Dude, you got Bluefall! Sweet!)"

It seemed fitting, given "When Wondy Was Awesome" got me interested in Wonder Woman to begin with. ^_^

Chris said...

While the potential level of horrible in such a short time span may be too much for one human being, I'm crossing my fingers there's a One More Day in that two months worth of solicitations.

SSJWolverine said...

Let me see if I got this straight.

There were tie-in comics to a tie-in comic to Countdown?!?!

That's up there with Spidey's deal with the devil.

Linkara, you are a braver man than I for reviewing these comics.

So until the Doom's IV movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme comes out, Make Mine Linkara!

SC said...

Mr. Lovhaug,

I am not an avid follower of comics and haven't actually bought one since I was 12 years old or read one since I was 16, but damnit man you are hilarious with your reviews. It reminds me of when I used to look in the bargain bins at the old comic shop where I grew up and my mom would remind me they were there for a reason.

Keep up the good- no, awesome work!

CoreyFlanagan said...

I have to say, Linkara, that you are a braver man than I for giving this thing even a second read. The time and effort it must've taken to scan the panels, devise the jokes, and shooting would've surely made a weaker man go mad. You have my respect, good sir.

If I could point you in the direction of a comic series that I thought was horrible, I'd recommend all of New Warriors vol. 4. The whole team was devised in a response to Civil War made up of depowered mutants who apparently have no common sense and the plot moves like molasses.

Rhomega said...

Wow, even by watching you review the comic I can feel my mind melting away. What a freakin' waste of paper, which even goes for the tie-ins.

Is Granny Goodness' tying up the gods even mentioned in Countdown to Final Crisis?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

@Corey: Yes, I picked up New Warriors v.4 exactly as a response to Civil War, since the team seemed to actively be defying the Registration Act... but by the fourth issue I gave up when I didn't know who half the people on the team were (their costumes blended into each other and they never SAID who they were) and then one of them was killed in a shock death.

@Rhomega: Yep. And it's just as stupid there as it is here.

KHarn said...

have disagree with MATT, Zatanna doesn't "kcus", her WRITERS do!
But WTF was that bit where she gave Batman a magic word to nullify Circe's magic? BATMAN doesn't do real magic! Also, it just points out the fact that Zatanna could have appiered in Washington, depowered Circe, disarmed the Amazons and Bana and cleared up this mess FIVE MINUTES after she arrived!

Of course, Batman had to disarm Circe because there seems to be a law in DC land that Batman has to be better than everyone else.

Premier Blah said...

What are you going to do with the book now that you're done with it? I'll take it and use it for my own means.

rizzo said...

@Premier Blah: Kindling?

Premier Blah said...

Ill use it for target practice for whatever I may have on hand.

Unique said...

"...you magnificent bastard, I read your book!" ^^

Horrible book, good review. Looking forward to more of your stuff.

Bubble Yum German said...

This mess is enough to make me nostalgic for the days of The Spider-Man Clone Saga. BTW, anyway you can turn this comic into gold using the Sultry Teenage Super Foxes alchemy machine? So until I get my treatment for Youngblood's Disease (which for now consists of contacts only), make mine linkara

Anonymous said...

It was a funny review, but I have to register my distaste at the ending. A big animated showdown could have been cool, but only if the person animating it could animate well. Granted, they don't commit the cardinal sin of using shape tweens, but it still has that distinctive 'I just discovered Flash' look. I would have much preferred a live action version of the ending.

Pete said...

I'm so sorry!

Very entertaining review!

Glenn said...

Heh, I love the Dragon Dagger at the end.

sirkenz17 said...

Does your "Amazons Attack!" TPB come in two-ply? If so, I could really use some.;p

On a side note, in your review of issues 3 and 4, in that panel where Wonder Girl and Supergirl appear outside of Air Force 1? The artwork really makes it look like they had AF1 come to a stop in mid-air. It's a jet-liner, not a harrier.}:(

Anonymous said...

What was that music in the middle from? It sounds really familiar.

Philosophista said...

I finally saw all the three parts of Amazons Attack, and, well, they really attacks something: our intelligence. Great reviews, and I hope they, at least, spend more ten years 'till produce some trash like that again...

Bubble Yum German said...

mr. linkara, i have a quick question. The music in the background, during the whole breakdown at the end, before the animated bit(which was uber-awesome along with the entire review!), what is it? if you or anyone could shoot me an answer. Look foward to more reviews

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Combine Harvester" by the Wurzels.

Anonymous said...

I meant the music at around 8:24 or so.

Elemental said...

"Okay, so I've temporarily cut off the evil sorceress from her magic, and incapacitated her. Should I tie her up, or imprison her or something? Nah, let's just leave her lying around. What's the worst that could happen?"

And the facial expressions from 14.23 onwards pretty much sum up this whole thing.

Kanerou said...

This whole review series has been awesome. :D

The Vigilante said...

I have to say, Lewis, your breakdown at the end of this review and the way you scream "THIS COMIC SUCKS!!!!" so loudly still put me in stitches every time I watch it. Great work as always, and I am sorry that you had to endure this steaming pile of crap that DC tries to pass off as a comic.

Ming said...

Your feature on Amazons Attack is one of the best Atop the Fourth Wall episodes ever. I salute you for daring to do an extended spotlight on Amazons Attack, a comic so utterly horrible that defense lawyers on Law and Order actually make reasonable arguments that their clients may be the most despicable people alive, but AT LEAST they didn't make Amazons Attack. There are even rumors that villains actually use Amazons Attack to torture prisoners.

I'd like to state for the record that the idea of Amazons attacking the U.S. and Man's World is actually a cool concept, but the story is only as good as the writer placed in charge. I'm sorry to state that what we got instead was the worst Wonder Woman story ever, with characters acting like idiots, plot holes, Amazons acting like ax crazy killers or morons who just stand around doing nothing, Wonder Woman not doing the smart thing like trying to use the lasso on Hippolyta, the US government invoking a Cold War act long since declared unconstitutional and repealed, and that deus ex machina ending, which basically indicates this writer is terrible (though not as bad as the idiotic editors who were supposed to make this good). The worst part is that this epic fail was designed to create a plotline for an even more horrible series -- DC COUNTDOWN. Thank God for Gail Simone.

I loved your training montage and arming up sequence, and your increasingly desperate struggle to hold on to your sanity as you go through this abomination that dares to call itself an event. That mental breakdown sequence when you discovered that Amazons Attack was directly related to DC Countdown -- one of the funniest scenes of this series. Your epic team-up with the legendary Wonder Woman against Amazons Attack -- crowning moment of awesome. I hope to see you team up with another actual superhero or super-team, particularly against some bad comic.

Looking back, it's sure amazing how Pollo the Robot evolved from a gag character to a full-fledged supporting character in your web series.

Given that Amazons Attack was directly related to Countdown, would it be safe to say that Circe was the only one who knew Granny Goodness was posing as Athena and had been reporting directly to Granny Goodness from the beginning?

Blackchibisan said...

I will stand by this. Grace's heel face turn was needed so that she wouldn't just pick up the car, throw it at the Bana and end the stupidity too soon.^_^

Captain Sake Mangusto said...

Will Pfeifer joins my pantheon as one of the greatest comic book authors of all time together with Frank Miller, Howard Chaykin, Garth Ennis, Franco Saudelli and WTH... Rob Liefeld, who cares at this point ?

Amazon's Attack it's awesome and if for any fair reason at least for this one and only : Your pain and suffering through this comic makes me laugh so hard to the point i can share a little bit of your pain and still get some pleasure from it.

Bravo !

Captain Sake Mangusto said...

And if that wasn't enough the guy still dares to say in his blog :

"BUY MY COMICS ! MAKE ME RICH !"

oH THE iRONY ! I don't buy comics, i download them on line for free, i may have weird comic book values but i values my money more than anything else, so sorry Sir, don't expect me to make you rich despite the fact Lewis made your writings sound hilarious, DON'T Be A HACK !

Angus L said...

Lewis! Bring back the clue stick!

le-messor said...

I've been rewatching your old videos to put together a Linkara playlist (I'm putting this one down for The Master Vainglorious - is that right?) and trying not to comment, but when I reached the end of this one, I just had to:

"Anyone want to go out for a burrito?"
You know what this means?
One of your jokes made it into The Avengers!

Doug Puthoff said...

Of course, I think this comic has been sent into continuity oblivion by the New 52.

Mateja Kova─Ź said...

That one plot point where everyone is supposed to destroy each other reminds me of Mortal Kombat: Armageddon :D

Also, awesome ending, great idea using a cartooon :3