Monday, June 8, 2009

Secret Defenders #9

Who says there aren't any overweight superheroes?

Another text review turned to video!


Marcel said...

Some thoughts:

- The whole "render character or team name in their logo or large bold text" thing just seems silly, IMHO. Do they even do that anymore?
- Who or what the heck is Heidegger?
- The emphasis on certain words seem like a more pathetic version of bolding important plot points or what not.
- What in the effin' hell is up with the art? It makes the art from Warrior #1 look go---nah screw it, the art from the Warrior comic is just plain pathetic.
- You said that Rob Liefeld is crying tears of joy, he must have this issue and #10 (next week?) framed in his house.
- Heheh, 90s Kid FTW. :)
- Will we get a "Previously on AT4W" montage again, as this is a two-parter?

Anyways, great video as usual, Linkara. :)

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Heidegger was a philosopher from Germany. Like a lot of 20th century philosophers, he spent lots of time answering questions nobody was asking, but I like saying "For the love of Heidegger," so I continue to say it.

Also of note, he was a member of the Nazi party, but not because he subscribed to their beliefs - mainly it was just that if you weren't a member of the Nazi party at the time, you were dead, in a prison of some kind, or fleeing the country.

Jawmuncher said...

I love War Machine, in my opinion hes better than iron man

Dan said...

Wow. The art is does this happen outside of image comics?

Also, one of your best endings. Silver smudge was quite inspired.

Kimarous said...

Spineless: -10 Charisma, +10 Agility

Looks like someone has been investing in their RPG traits. :P

日本文化のマニアック said...

Wait... of all the things to protest in Nebula's design in her first appearance, you don't mention her weird boobs? I mean... they're at the same level as her clavicle and lopsided! Boobs don't work like that, even in low gravity!

Anonymous said...


Hey Linkara, I just realised, would you ever consider doing a review of, say, Ultimates 3. Now I know you probably the Ultimates, but seriously, it is BAD.

Bad writing, mediocre (YMMV)art, and.... and... Did you know that Ultimate Pyro, was, in fact a member of the X-men and never went near the Brotherhood in his life?

Just sayin'.

John said...

What's with the war machine hate, I always loved his look.

Great review but you mention Thor, Cap and Wolverine but no Jean Grey, something tells me that this villian whom I've never heard of would be quite quickly dispatched by the phoenix.

sirkenz17 said...

Wow. O_O It looks like the artist was trying to rip off Mike Mignola. Not a very good style to try and ape.

And it may be just me, but Dr. Strange at the beginning was kind of reminding me of Dr. Orpheus from The Venture Brothers, except here it wasn't funny.

Truce Weston said...

where do I begin?

The artwork is probably the worst I have ever seen on this show! But the humor was probably the best! Just when I thought it couldn't get funnier or better, you pull it off, Mr. Linkara!

LMAO! I can't stop laughing at your commentary at Nebula's first appearance! Locutus of Borg with childbearing hips and a surprisingly impressive "package" for a woman! Everything in that panel was awful! It was disgusting! Her boobs were odd also. Almost like they were too high, just like the people who drew this awful garbage (then again that is an insult to garbage). Blame it on the alien gravity, even though it's the bad artwork at fault.

This is the kind of comic that gives people Youngblood's Disease as punishment for reading it!

This comic must have helped gym membership applications shoot up by 3,000% that month, due to readers seeing the fat heroes and running to the nearest set of weights for excerise!

So until Iron Man releases his sequel to War Machine, Peace Machine, MAKE MINE LINKARA!

The Writer said...

I agree with Ultralad for a Ultimate 3, and maybe even all this Ultimatum bull shit

Will Staples said...

So... she straps Silver Surfer to a bomb, which she plans to drop on Titan. They're currently on Phobos.

Wouldn't it take, like, three years for the bomb to travel there?

DirtyHarrington said...

Please. PLEEEEEASE. PLEEEEEEEEEEASE leave Thunderstrike alone. ;_;

Paul S. said...

- I honestly think I ate lunch with 90s kid in Junior High.

-The art is bizarre and not just in your typical awful 90s style... much of this comic looks like it should be up on a wall in a circa 1971 dorm room and illuminated by a hippie's blacklight.

- War Machine looks more like Tom Tom The Robot Man from Jack Staff.

- The whole Dr. Strange & a random grab-bag of heroes isn't a bad concept. I'd like to see someone try it with a competent creative team.

aaa said...

Surgeon general's warning: Do not attempt to watch the artwork, it will cause severe lacerations to ocular cells.

Lotus Prince said...

The very first thing that came to mind when you talked about how Doctor Strange probably goes around saying his name dramatically was Dr. Orpheus, from The Venture Bros. He always, always speaks dramatically, and he's a powerful mystic as well. :-D

Dave Reynolds said...

Ah man, I totally forgot about that slight art trend. The artist was attempting a Mike Mignola-like style, but doing it very badly. See, back in the early days of X-Force, Mignola did a fill-in issue of X-Force (also his last major work for Marvel I believe), and while it certainly showcased why Mignola isn't the man you want to draw X-Force, it did for a brief period of time bring about a couple of "wannabes" who tried to emulate that art style in other Marvel books... With the same amount of success as you saw here. Usually the people who did this were the same people who tried to draw like Rob Liefeld and thought they were being clever by mixing styles.

Kinda like chocolate covered pork rinds.

Lew Morgan said...

Jeebus H. Festivus! Who the heck did this abominable artwork? And are they still in the business? If so...tell them to stop it! Stop it right now!

Justin said...

A synaptic disruptor? Waaaaaaait a second. Aren't synapses the SPACES between axons and neurons, where nerve impulses go? The only way you could disrupt synapses is to simply put something in place to fill the spaces between the axons and neurons. Good luck with that.

CR! said...

Fat superhero's:

Big Bertha, Bouncing Boy, Mammath Mutt, Herbie Popnecker (Allen's Moore's favorite superhero), and The Blimp.

Awesome review as always.

90's kid!!!!!!

Joshua the Anarchist said...

Damn, when you were making fun of Dr. Strange's over-the-top font, I thought for sure you were gonna play a clip of Dr. Orpheus from the Venture Bros. You were funny on your own, but that would've been gut-bustingly appropriate.

Charna said...

.... When ever you said Nebula in this review, all I could think about was my cat(named Nebula) owning all of those horribly drawn superheroes. XD

.. I'm sorry, I'll seriously go to bed now.

Razorgeist said...

Holy crap a Persis Khambatta reference you sir are magnificent.

Anonymous said...

Somehow, I think everyone's forgotten Nebula's arms. They look apelike. And isn't Phobos a rather small moon?

Sieg-sama said...

Dr. Strange's dialog sounds kinda...suggestive, when emphasized.
That's just strange. (sorry for the incredibly lame pun)

And damn... 10:11 what is wrong with Silver Surfer's waist? It's slender (smaller than his chest and hips) but freakishly long.

The artist has no sense of proportion AT ALL.

And Linkara rocks as usual.

jer said...

was thunderstrike this awkward in his comic.
also yeah if she prepared for thor or iron man than bad guy will have a huge advantage it makes no sense to sent them out

jer said...

why didnt it just say they felt no pain instead of making up somthing someone with minimal knowledge of the nervous system would know is stupid.

El despertando said...

Looking at the cover... Dear Lord, what's wrong with Silver Surfer's Hand? The way he spreads his fingers is just... impossible! It looks more like a starfish than a human body part! Is this supposed to be extreme? Extremely torn ligaments more judging from the looks of it. Damn, 90's artwork sucked!

Always nice to see 90's kid, best character ever! ;) Spot-on characterization of what went wrong in that decade.

Anyways, nice video! Keep 'em coming!

Tim said...

Yeah, I've decided I'll post here instead of emailing you.

Anyway, loved the review, especially the Patton bit. It's always a bad idea to state that your villain is a "master strategist" since most comic book writers know NOTHING about strategy.

Of course, this happens across fiction, so it's certainly not just a comic book problem.

Oh, and "BY DIEHARD'S CROTCH!!!" seriously deserves to be some kind of meme!

Carrie said...

12:50-Have you noticed in 12:50 that NEbula's boobs are so high up that they go up to her neck. Man, I thought Eric Battle couldn't draw.

PontifexPrimus said...

Ok, let me see if I got this straight:
The underlying premise of this series is "we get a team of heroes for a certain job, pretty much regardless of continuity". Fine by me. Doctor Strange gets two minor-league superheroes that even the author admits are weak copies of more popular characters. Ok, still on board (even though I loved how you pointed out that Nebula's power of... strategerizification would have probably worked against them, exactly because they're knock-offs of well-known supers).
But then they arrive on the Mars moon and... Silver Surfer leaves them to fight the cannon fodder while going after Nebula alone???


Was it not established that Nebula could break through the Surfer's weaknesses because she knew him and that he needed wild cards as support? Wasn't that the reason for taking those guys in the first place? Isn't that kind of cooperation the whole freaking concept the series is based on???

Arrgh. Sorry, but it's really rare to see a comic so lacking in any redeeming quality - the plot is nonsensical, the artwork is horrible, and the use of clichès is rampant (suicidal henchmen destroyed en masse? Check. Hero knocked out with a single shot from a conveniently self-destructing, unrepairable weapon? Check. Hero strapped to giant bomb with blades, fins, and spikes? Check. Villain abusing the old "Do you expect us to do [THING]?" "No, I expect you to die!" speech? Big fat check.). Just plain ridiculous on so many levels.

Great review, loved seeing that comic get the skewering it deserves!

Oh, and as to "for the love of Heidegger": see also MST3K ep. 0812, The Incredibly Strange Creatures, Observer to Professor Bobo: "For the love of Heidegger, I'll take care of it, you addle-pated homunculus!" I know that episode by heart... ;)

DanManX said...


Orpheus is actually made to be a parody of Dr. Strange, so the similarity is not so out of place. This comic was made many years before the show was, so there's a good chance the design of Strange from this time period was part of the influence on Orpheus.

DaftRaider42 said...

Awesome Review - Fat Silver Surfer is made of win XD

Blackest Night is nearly upon us... do you have any thoughts on the Preludes (Agent Orange, Sins of the Star Sapphire, etc...)?

J. J. Ramsey said...

And it's especially funny that what the "master strategist" does with Silver Surfer is what a cheesy Bond villain might do, instead of, you know, just trying to kill the Surfer as soon as possible.

Ripdtide56 said...

I have to agree with DirtyHarrington.

Thunderstrike wasn't that bad of a character, just following up on the god of thunder himself, is a hard act to follow.

That would be like having an award winning A+ and following it up with a B or C at best.

Psychotime said...

Bonus points for the body ratio lesson.

Carlos said...

Is it just me, or has anyone else got the Roger Delgado reference?

SynjoDeonecros said...

Would it make me sad if I was horrified more by the horrific attempts at shading the comic than the actual character design? I mean, my god, the Silver Surfer especially looks like one big Rorschach painting some kid mistook as a coloring book page, it's that blotchy with the black.

There's nothing much else I can say about this that hasn't already been said, other than the above shading atrocity, so I'll just say I agree with the comments on here and think it was an awesome review as always, and leave it at that.

Anonymous said...

Doctor Strange third eye is really one of his mystic relics, the eye of aggragmotto(mispelled it) which he can see stuff with it beyond normal or other stuffr.

Rhythm Bastard said...

So everyone has to fight a bajillion aliens while The Master just hangs out and does nothing? (Thank you Wikipedia)

To be fair, at 2:57 that bulge isn't Silver Surfer's gut, it's his forearm, it just looks the way because it's colored weird.

Good as usual, and 90's kid is icing on the cake.

Mark Odell said...

Hey, I know this isn't strictly related to this, but anyone read Ghost Rider #34 this month? Well, not only is there a joke about US-1 and how fricking ridiculous he is (really, it's brilliant) but US-1's nemesis, the highwayman, is actually the bad guy in this issue! AND he's pretty badass in it!

I felt this was worth mentioning since I can't think of US1 without thinking of the marvellous Linkara ;)

Anonymous said...

Linkara you you magnificent bastard, *I watch your videos*!

Reviewer Rick said...

Phobos and to the lesser extent was the back drop of Doom games, and the original Doom books written by Dafydd ab Hugh.

NGT said...

Yeah, yeah, I'm really late and all, but you mentioned EMP, so the daemons of the intarwebs had me summoned.

Now it is a comic book, so EMP does all kinds of awesome things, like nuclear power and lightning used to.

But since it bugs me, here's the catch. EMP shielding is tinfoil. A double layer of tinfoil will basically block all the EMP in the world. Not you, not me, not Nebula, not God the Father is going to get past a double layer of tinfoil with EMP. If you're worried about direct electrical induction, the hardening for that is called TEMPEST and it basically restores the system to full functioning in about a second. These are both old and very well-known technologies in military circles, dating to the seventies.

So, yeah, comic book and all, but still. When it's something this simple, it's bad. So the next time you read something where EMP did magical incredible things, or you think "EMP could solve this problem!"...remember the tinfoil. It's out there. Lurking.


Cryptix said...

My apologies for the comment on the old video, but I'm re-watching your archive to see how your storylines started to develop, and something occurred to me here.

Now that I think about it, this is actually a really good idea for a superhero universe in general. It kind of shafts Dr Strange, I guess, but having someone (or a network of someones) keep track of incidents and summon the supers most appropriate to handle each particular incident -- that actually makes a lot of sense to me.

Otherwise you have to work with whoever shows up, or somehow work in the entire team, which usually works out anyhow because of plot, but still.

It's a shame it's so terribly handled here.