Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Law and Order #1

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Fortunately, Dick Wolf had nothing to do with this series.



44 comments:

Matthew said...

I can't help it, first. :)

Another great episode, keep up the good work

The Trembler said...

So is this going to be like Hawk & Dove (or in a Liefeld world, more like Hawk and Hawk) and green-clothes lady becomes the new Law?

Is that carameldansen I see in the title card?

Add me to the list of people who assumed it was based on the TV show. That's two misleading titles in a row for you, fella!

Are you building up to a Top 15 Misleading Comic Book Titles Spacial?

I looked up Abraxas on dictionary.com. Apparently:

"The word Abraxas (or Abrasax or Abracax) was engraved on certain antique stones, called on that account Abraxas stones, which were used as amulets or charms. The name is found in the Greek Magical Papyri, and the word may be related to the word abracadabra, although other explanations exist. The name is also found in Gnostic texts such as the Gospel of the Egyptians. Abraxas has also been variously claimed throughout the centuries to be an Egyptian god, a demon, and to represent God and Satan in one entity and the dual nature of its essence.

The initial spelling of the word as seen on stones was "Abrasax" (Αβρασαξ). The spelling seen today probably originates in the confusion made between the Greek letters Sigma and Xi in the Latin transliteration.

Appearance and meaning
The letters of Abraxas (αβραξας), in the Greek system of alphabetic numerology, sum to the number 365, and the Basilideans gave the name to the 365 orders of spirits which, as they conceived, emanated in succession from the Supreme Being. These orders were supposed to occupy 365 heavens, each fashioned like, but inferior to that above it; and the lowest of the heavens was thought to be the abode of the spirits who formed Earth and its inhabitants, and to whom was committed the administration of its affairs.

In addition to the word Abraxas and other mystical characters, they have often symbolic mystical figures engraved on them. The most common of these have the head of a fowl, and the arms and bust of a man, and terminate in the body and tail of a serpent."

So OK, then. All of that is much more interesting than the comic itself. Thanks for spurring my further education.

The Trembler said...

Oh, and maybe Order wasn't repeating her partner's name over and over again. She could have been dreaming about Jude Law.

Admiral Awesome said...

What was wrong with that underage butt?! It looked like it was collapsing on itself!

Anonymous said...

I think Rob Liefeld was actually an alien sent from the future in order to cause images of grossly over muscled individuals who are complete and utter scumbags to become popular, thus causing the public to forever subconsciously equate having well toned muscles with being a gun-toting mutant abomination. Inevitably, this would destroy the very concept of fitness being desirable in America, therefore causing a rippling, wheezing explosion of obesity in America. This would in turn allow the aliens to harvest our fat in order to burn as an energy source to recharge their warp drive which has left them marooned on the far side of the moon for decades. That or they could just find human fat to be delicious. A side effect of this would of course be McDonald's sales skyrocketing, thus laying bare the sinister McDonald's/Liefeld alliance.

Don't worry, there is still time to stop them and ellipses my god ellipses I'm ellipses fat too ellipses instead of a period. As the rain beat down upon my dingy apartment in the middle of generic crime ridden city in perpetual noir friendly twilight and rain, my hands shook with trepidation over the keyboard as the laptop screen cast it's pale glow over the darkened room, I now knew the truth, that I had played perfectly into their hands. Deep inside me, where all of the bile and intestines slosh together, which form the core of all of us pathetic sacks of flesh, I knew that I had to scream, but I just couldn't find words adequate to describe my horror, so instead I just stole the ending lines to a reasonably well known movie.

YOU FINALLY REALLY DID IT! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Oh and nano machines are probably involved somehow, yeah, you can never trust those nano machines.

Awesome review as always. It really speaks to how bad the 90s were for comics that you can describe such a comic as being "mediocre."

Kamen Rider Gumo said...

Wow - and here I thought storytelling couldn't get any worse. The stuff you've been showcasing here makes me realize that the story arc where Superman became an energy being wasn't really as bad as I thought it once was. Keep up the good work.

Subido said...

When I saw that picture drawn for this review, I thought that you would play caramelldanssen :P

Anonymous said...

Make your version of this commic. Lenny left us much too soon.

日本文化のマニアック said...

I was really disappointed that this wasn't actually tied in with Dick Wolf's "Law and Order." Zombie Lenny Brisco and Detective Goren would be AWESOME! I wonder if they got sued for the name...

(Oh, and french fries seem a lot less delicious when you've actually made them.)

jholland said...

great as always. as for the shoulder pad thing it was the 90's almost everone wore them, and the 90's are strong with this comic.

Anonymous said...

What do you think it would be like if they made a Daredevil versus Penance (speed ball) comic?

Sieg-sama said...

Great review.
I thought it was about the TV series, but... yeah.

Oh but I can't agree about the shoulder pad.
I heard it was pretty common for warriors to have one 1 left shoulder pad (or the left pad was bigger).
Cause the right hand was the sword-holding hand, it was supposed to be free for maximum agility and the warrior would parry attacks with his sword; while the left hand held the shield and had a shoulder pad for protection, in case the shield was not enough.

But we don't see neither the sword nor the shield in the hands of the boob-window chick. So yeah...

P.S.: Thanks for introducing the song "Because the Night" to me. It was love at first note.

Chris said...

Why is it that every Rob Liefeld character has some sort of energy thingy coming from their left eye? It must be a symptom of Youngblood's Disease: exploding eyeballs.

Joshua the Anarchist said...

Wow, I thought this was gonna be about those two heroes from the Freedom Force game.

Maximum Press? Aren't they the guys that produced Alan Moore's "Supreme" comics?

James said...

Linkara, my man, thought I'd share a hot tip with you in case you ever find yourself facing a burnout from too many crappy comics. The hardcover GN spinoff of the Dresden Files, "Welcome to the Jungle", is a pretty good read IMO. Just passing along a tip.

Truce Weston said...

aha! Just as I suspected! I thought it was something to do with Dick Wolf at first, when I saw your list, until I watched again an early video of yours. You had this comic shown as one of the collection you were sifting through!

This was hilarious! awesome review!

couldn't agree more on the single shoulder pads thing!

So until the other one I ordered comes in, MAKE MINE LINKARA!

Azerth said...

how come you put it on That Guy First?

alexandra said...

Linkara, what if this comic sexually assaulted you? Then what would it be called?

Deathstroke said...

Nice Judge Dread reference at the end

Elijah said...

I guess super size me was right, oh and awesome video.

angel_of_rebirth said...

I know that a so far, you've expressed that your not too much into 90s style comics, but do are there titles from the 90s you actually like? I'll admit the Liefeld inspired artwork is a bit much, but the comics I liked weren't as bad in my opinion.

I'll always like the show, but I'm still keeping my copies of Battle Chasers, and Scud: the disposable assassin (which wasn't inspied by liefeld, but through John Woo films, and heartbreak).

Anyway, great episode as always, keep up the good work.

Marcel said...

Another comic with dull and generic protagonists.

God, what was it with the 90s and these types of characters?

Great review, man. :)

bojak90 said...

so Rob split from marvel, to split from Image, to eventually return to marvel?
huh.

In any case, solid review and jokes.

mightysamurai said...

If I had to guess, I'd say the "single shoulder pad" thing was inspired by Roman gladiators.

Rachel said...

I am saddened by this comic's lack of Jerry Orbach.

Carrie said...

This may sound weird, but I think the comic at it's base theme actually has some potiental: A once bloody-thirsty mercenary is given a second chance to make things right and his relationship with the girl could be more along the lines of the movie, The Professional. Under a good writer, it could've made for an interesting series.

TheGoose said...

I feel that you stay focused on some really, really, bad comics and not just mediocre ones. Making fun of comics like this doesn't really give much in terms of comedy.

Its not that I didn't like you, but its the comic itself.

Artimus said...

You know what's REALLY bad about this comic? I expected a comic form of the TV Show, which is reasonable since CSI has one. But the expectation isn't the worst part. After seeing the actual comic, I got the image of Law And Order in my head and I keep picturing Dick Wolf dressed like the two women.

Order my FOOT!

Razorgeist said...

No no man the perfect Law and Order comic...zombie Lennie Briscoe, with Elliot Stabler and ADA Kim Greylick in a catwoman suit as back up...meoww....what I have a weakness.

Playah said...

Good review, but to be honest Linkara- you can do better then that.

Razorgeist: I know what you mean, I have the same weakness as you.

Elemental said...

You know, I like that they actually explain the anatomy of a Liefeld hero--he needs that oversized torso to fit the extra organs inside!

lilmaibe said...

I more or less have to agree with The Goose.
The review is great, but it's a bit like kicking a dead bucket to make fun of stuff this bad.
But seeing what else you got on your 'to-do' list, mind if I guess that you pick the comics more or less randomly from a pile of everything medicore and lower? ;)

Juan Carlos said...

This reminds me of one of Johnen Vasquez "MEANWHILES" in which he makes fun of exactly this XD.
Add another person in the count of how many people though that this comic would be based on the tv show

Graphic Novel Guy said...

I can't stop watching your reviews. As a comic fan who hated the 90's, I feel your pain. I was hoping Law and Order would be a bad adaptation of the TV Shows. (As I'm sure everyone else was too.)

Are you ever going to review Batman #66 (Comedy of Errors)? Or is that just to easy to make fun of?

The Trembler said...

I watched this video again. And I'm sorry, but despite your warning, I'm going to have to get you started on the pouches.

Because I'm not quite clear on why they in particular are a problem.

I'm assuming but not absolutely certain that you're talking about pouches connected to belts, like those most famous pouches that are a part of Batman's utility belt. If that isn't what you mean, please explain.

But if that is what you mean, please also explain. For the image you gave as an example of the "pouch problem," the only pouches I saw were Deadpool's. I've never been a Deadpool follower, but they seemed reasonable graphically and made sense for my understanding of the character.

Despite his grotesque healing factor, he mainly attacks using guns and other weapons, does he not? Aren't pouches to contain various weapons, tools, and ammunition reasonable for him?

They wouldn't make much sense for Spider-Man with all that leaping around and hanging upside down he does. (Oh sure, Spider-Man could make a deal with the devil to allow him to have pouches that wouldn't get in the way as he leapt around and hung upside. . . OK, that was just a mildly goading joke.) And his weapons are his body and his webbing.

But of all the problems with Liefeld art, I've never noticed pouches as one. I can accept that there are so many problems that one can miss a few. But that being said, the art you used seemed reasonable at least as far as pouches went.

Please expand on your statement. I wish to learn.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Liefeld has a propensity for making his characters have DOZENS of pouches for characters, whether they make sense for them to have them or not, or even add them in places you wouldn't expect them to be. On belts? Sure, fine. On ankles? Umm... why? On ankles and belts and wrists and upper arm and across the chest?

The Trembler said...

Thank you for the explanation. I'm looking forward to the next video.

RocMegamanX said...

Re: Graphic Novel Guy

I saw some pages from that link, and Good Lord. That could be too easy to mock.

NGT said...

Yeah I'm here to killjoy again.

Legal age in New York where the comic's set was 17 when it came out.

Actually today in most states it's 16 or 17. So they're kinda sorta legal. Not jailbait, but you'll catch hell employing them for porn.

...hey, I guess that you're right after all. Hand me that suicide gun.

NGT said...

And, because I didn't say it before...

Zombie Lennie Briscoe and Goren? I'M THERE.

kigee said...

this comic could be misleading to the people who know of the crime drama law and order.

Doug Puthoff said...

Where was 90s Kid? I missed him!

Mateja Kovač said...

McDonald's: Cheeseburgers and chocolate cubes :D

Felix Brunschede said...

McDonalds as the source of all evil. Something about that just makes a horribly unsurpring amount of sense.