Monday, August 31, 2009

Nightcat #1

Sorry about the lateness and lower quality of this one. Blip has been giving me trouble all day.

This makes the movie Glitter look like-

...No, I take that back.
Glitter is still worse than this.

Another text recap turned to video!


Jer said...

How is it that Melissa stood in for Nightcat once and got a record deal? btw another celestial reveiw. I love the use of xtreme colors. And if they make a live action movie tiffani amber thiessen Kelly from saved by the bell would be perfect for the role of nightcat!

Marcel said...

Man, this comic is just plain boring. It's been a trend with the comics you've been digging into in recent weeks. Boring premises with equally boring protagonists. But I will say this: Dr. Ecstasy is the greatest name for a creepy mad scientist ever.

Good review, keep 'em comin'. :D

Weaver said...

you may be a geek but that's what you do. And I like it.

Miss Kitty Fantastico said...

I'm not sure what I loved more: The Ninja Style dancing or the fact you started singing 'I Can't Decide'.

Matt P said...

Her teen years and her being in a record story are 'in the past', so her non-90s dialogue of her teen years and music technology could reasonably be done on purpose.

Scott Andrew McArthur said...

Slither director James Gunn actually wrote and phantom directed Tromeo and Juliet. Of all the Troma films, it's one of the better ones. I'm not saying it's a great movie, still, it has it's moments. Some often very sweet.

Scott Andrew McArthur said...

Oh, and good review.

Alex Stritar said...

Wow. I can't belive Stan Lee wrote this. I also can't belive he wrote a cameo into the comic. In fact, the only cameo I could imagine being more shocking in this comic would be if it was YOU, Linkara!

Anyway, another great text-to-vid review.

Marcel said...

Oh, forgot to mention your Ninja Style dancing. You are a master with that. Nice moves. :)

Lewis Lovhaug said...

The class I watched it with were in stitched over "It happens to us sooner or... LADDER!"

joneau2611 said...

And of course, a large number of people will say: "Well, Marvel can sink to the depths of being bought out by a company that totally ruins their image and will likely ruin it as well".

Holy crap, nice singing voice!

Anonymous said...

If she went after Oliver North instead, it could have been a great comic.

Anonymous said...

"Dr. Ecstasy?" Sounds like a porn name. Everytime there's a funeral, the weather is lousy, I guess they save the nice days for my relatives' funerals!

Psychotime said...

Go ninja, go ninja! Go!

A. Conroy said...

Good episode.

I was happy with all of the references to MST3K. Though I thought the "only the beginning" line from Phantom Planet would appear during your discussion over their weird internal line.

But a better question is: Who would win in a super fight, Night Cat or Puma Man?

Paul S. said...

I'd love to see a retrospect on Stan Lee's more embarrassing later works besides "Nightcat." You could look at Solarman, Ravage 2099, The Backstreet Project, and the P.O.W direct-to-video movies.

Dan said...

Oh my god. The Scissor Sisters. You are far, far to awesome, sir.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know Stan Lee had lost it that early, I knew he'd lost it when I saw "Who Wants To Be a Superhero". He had no idea what made his signature characters special to the fans when he made that show.

The Trembler said...

The Trembler's semi-live log of this review:

[Marvel's depths] Well, I guess we now know that the depth to which Marvel will sink include 20,000 Leagues under the Sea (the Disney movie).

Still, OK, I'm game. What does Batman—Fortunate Son have to do with the depths to which Marvel will sink. I understand that you said you try to cycle between publishers, but if you're going to announce a theme, I have to insist on everything fitting Or, well I at least have to pretend to insist upon that, considering that I have no leverage on you and that I can't really stop you from doing anything you desire to do.

[Dazzler] Wow, I never knew that. I was just impressed that they let her show up in the Fox X-Men Show (Phoenix Saga) in a way that didn't make her look stupid.

[Singer's name] Oh, Nightcat. . . I was as wrong about this comic as I was about "Law & Order." But in this case, the name isn't confusing. I just going it wrong. The character I was thinking of was Hellcat, the character who stated as a stat of romantic comics (back when such things sold), only to be turned into a superheroine in the 1970s.

[$29.99] So Nightcat #1 is worth $29.99 + tax, eh? Must be a success. Are there any alternate covers that are worth more?

[Female of the species] Wait.. wait.. wait… Marvel has a page that starts with mentioning the "Female of the Species" and very quickly describe the FotS as "deadly." And you don't specifically quite Kipling and just straight out say "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." Seriously, if a quotation is common enough or changed enough, I don't expect citation But this is too common yet not changed enough. Not from a legal standpoint I emphasize, but an aesthetic one.

[Called "kitten"] The Fox Spider-Man series (the one that didn't take place on Counter-Earth) did the same thing with the Black Cat, and I thought it kinda worked.

["Don;t change, Don't change"] Lyrics like it make it seem she auditioning for "Free to be You and Me"? (Am I the only poster who was alive for the bulk of the 1970s and thus able to understood that reference?)

[Lost the will to live] Like what killed Sen. Padmé Amidala (LC-Naboo)?

[The music killed her] Oh, that's the Batman—Fortunate Son connection. What does Paw think of this?

[with a garage band operating out of the local high school] Are you sure Jackie isn't with a high school band operating out of the local garage?

[if you love me and love is forever] To be fair, Nightcat's song was conditional. Should love not prove to be forever, she made no promises whatsoever.

[Celestial] Are the Celestials celestial? Good grief, if that's how universe 616 people talk, maybe maybe the Eternals are celestial, too.

[Phone caller] Be fair about the caller. He could be drunk, on drugs, or just an idiot.

[Father looking like Hitler] Maybe the father is the third Hitler clone traveled back in time from Earth's End.

[Johhny at school] That's supposed to be a boy?

[Record store] At first, I thought the Melissa record showed her with Skrull chin lines. (Secret invasion!!) But it was lines on her neck instead.

[Singer secret identity] With the Disney purchase, this is gong to merge with Miley Cyrus, isn't it?

The Trembler said...

[Pseudonym on contract] Without a reasonable version of one's legal name signed (e.g. either "Chris" or "Christopher"), is a contract valid?

[Time Magazine etc.] Wow, a comic book with real magazine titles in it instead of things like "Newstime."

[Father going under cover] That solves the problem of him being around or, you know, existing.

[Puma Vs. Cat] I love it. Can she fall at impossible angles, too?

[Amanda Gideon] Her maiden name must be Huggandkiss.

[Dr. Ecstasy's first patient] Look at et the guy Dr. Ecstasy is experimenting on. It's the Comedian. Ecstasy is part of Ozymandeus' conspiracy!!

[Doctor Vs, Professor] Did you never see the 7th Doctor "Doctor Who" episodes with Ace? Doctor and Professor ere interchangeable titles.

[Dr. Ecstasy] According to your voice acting, Dr. Ecstasy is really the Monarch. Will Dr. Girlfriend show up, or can you not speak that deeply?

[Shooting Dr. Ecstasy] Oh, sure, shooting him is easy for you. Your gun is magic. Don't you realize that everyone else, when then engage in combat, has to follow Final Fantasy's active time battle system. They have to wait for their timing gauge to replenish between every shot.

[Nine lives] Wait a minute (13 lives — 9 lives). . . She's Tom Baker. Unless the incomplete regeneration at the end of The Stolen Earth removed a life, in which case. , . She's Jon Pertwee!

(Perfect, you even sang what is now the Master's theme song.)

[Gideon & Crack during battle] The Liefeld's Disease is spreading!

[Saving the expense of paying bumblers] She's also saving Ms. Gideon the bother of having to hire people with the intellect to investigate whether her previous employees survived their employment. This is why Dark Lords have to resort to hiring orcs.

[Nature herself seemed to be mourning] I assume that as this is a comic book universe with many different cosmic and supernatural titles, nature has a physical incarnation capable of being sad, so we can check the veracity of the narration.

[Stan Lee's appearance] Oh, right, his was in the Top 15 Stupid Moments redrew. I forgot. BTW, did Mr. Lee have that much brown hair left then, or was the artist sucking up?

[About the garbage scow] Not only do I remember that garbage scow, but I had a professor in college who said (not proudly) that when he worked for the city of New York, he was responsible for the concept.

[About rookie super heroes] Wait until you cover Bloodpack #1 before you comment on the skills of rookie superheroes. She might just e better than they are.

[Ninja-style dancers] I guess one of them was the original Black Ranger. ( or, take your pick)

[Lyrics in comics] I do have to ask: if you object to lyrics without music, should songs never be portrayed in comics or other visual arts (writing, illustrations, etc) unless there is a concrete portrayal of the music (a CD./audio file or the precise musical notes), because that feels like an excessively rigid limitation. Tolkien put "lyrics" in Lord of the Rings. They worked as poems, and in the case of Frodo's song in the Prancing Pony, actually worked as a plot point. Perhaps the problem with Nightcat's songs is that they don't work as [good] poems.

[Cat blood] Cat blood giving skills (or is that skillz?). That's crazy. What does she think she was, bitten by a spider?

[Night interviewed by reporter] So even if Nightcat isn't recognized in her civilian identity, she is recorded as threatening people in superhero & signer identity. What happened to her after the registration act?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"[with a garage band operating out of the local high school] Are you sure Jackie isn't with a high school band operating out of the local garage?"

The establishing caption said it was at the high school.

"[Lyrics in comics] "

I don't mind it if it's just background stuff or what we saw in Batman Fortunate son where he's looking up lyrics to actual songs... but when they're making up songs like this and telling us "wow, they're a really great singer!" I have to call BS.

MFlorian said...

I'm not terribly surprised by Stan Lee's appearance.

Marvel Comics are a company within Marvel's comic line as well.

Supposidely, the comics they produce are based on stories related to them by Earth's more public heroes (and a lot of guessing when it comes to the X-Men, I'm sure).

Stan Lee and Jack Kirby had a run in with Dr. Doom in FF #10, John Byrne appeared during the Trial of Galactus arc and Marvel itself got trashed during an X-Men Annual when the team went chasing the Impossible Man.

I kind of shrug my shoulders at the whole thing. They're cute little throwaways.

At least Stan isn't Captain Universe...yet.

MetFanMac said...

I noticed that Night Cat's feline abilities include enlarging her derriere 300% when climbing up buildings.

Great review as usual.


Mountain King said...

This comic is about as appealing as used dishwater. Dull, murky and there's inedible stuff floating around in it.
It never ceases to amaze me the depths that comics will plummet to as a tie in. Occasionally they get something big, but in reality comic history is littered with this crap. They last an issue and are made from 100% recycled Cliché.
Another thing that never gets old is your reviews of them! You always come up with something new and crazy. The duller and stupider the comic the more inventive you become. Ninja dancing and musical numbers just prove that.
Fun review, crap comic.

Anonymous said...

The part with Stan Lee making a cameo and talking up Nightcat has got to be one of the weirdest examples of Shilling the Wesley that I have ever seen.

Also: how on earth did that one reporter know that Nightcat brought down the drug ring? The police dismissed the charges based on lack of evidence! No one but Nightcat thought the woman had anything to do with drugs!

GoNinjaGo said...

Loved your bit at the very end where you start dancing to Vanilla Ice.

On topic, judging by his name, I thought "Dr. Ecstasy" was an XTC pusher. Then when you revealed it was actually a mad scientist, I facepalmed. Really? Dr. Ecstasy? Though, I must admit, that medicare line did invite a chuckle from me. At the very least, there's some good cheese amidst all the festering crap.

The inner geek in me must ask. What are your full thoughts on being 34'ed? If it were me, I'd feel conflicted. On one hand, I'd admittedly feel a little flattered someone found me attractive enough to depict nude; on the other hand, I'd fear in would invite trouble.

Santi said...

Hey thought you may wanted to read ULTIMO it's a manga but it's written by Stan Lee, and it's not THAT bad

great episode as always

Anonymous said...

good review but id expect to see dull suprise in a pat lee coic not a stan lee one
btw lewis did you see deadpool has your gun

Truce Weston said...

Ninja style dancers?!?!? The classic look of bewilderment on your face, was definately reflected in mine at that moment, but quickly replaced by that ninja dance, which I had to stop the video! I fell off my seat because i was laughing like crazy! That's high up there, if not #1 on your top 15 funniest AT4W moments.

I didn't see any quality degradation in this video. Damn blip must be moody.

Anyway awesome video, bleh comic!

So until Nightcat makes a comeback singing at Disney World, MAKE MINE LINKARA!

日本文化のマニアック said...

(raises hand) I like decompressed storytelling. I maen, so long as it doesn't drag on forever with nothing happening (I'd insert a reference to a lousy manga series that does this, but there are so many I couldn't pick one). How many pages was this comic in total? And why would you kill her potential arch-nemesis in the first issue? Was she going to be brought back all Shredder-like? We do have dancing ninjas, so maybe...

I really do like that cover, though. It's gorgeous. If only the rest of the art had been as nice, instead of the haphazard mess it was.

Unique said...

Sorry Linkara. This one was weak. Maybe because the script was a bit older? You can do it much funnier.

Queen Anthai said...

Don't say I never did anything nice for you, darlin'. ;)

The Trembler said...

>"[with a garage band operating out of the local high >school] Are you sure Jackie isn't with a high school >band operating out of the local garage?"
>The establishing caption said it was at the high >school.

Sorry about that, Linkara. That was a failed joke on my part. I jut noted that one could switch the two descriptors and the sentence would kinda make sense, too. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

>"[Lyrics in comics] "
>I don't mind it if it's just background stuff or what >we saw in Batman Fortunate son where he's >looking up lyrics to actual songs... but when >they're making up songs like this and telling us >"wow, they're a really great singer!" I have to call >BS.

OK, that's a reasonable standard. I wonder if those were actual lyrics to her songs. Might explain the brief career you mentioned.

Sieg-sama said...

Oh Marvel, is there anything you won't try and touch...

Now that Disney bought them, I guess we can expect some "Mickey Mouse and Marvel" crossovers of same quality...

That was a great review. Thanks for your hard work.

Rorshak (1313) said...

Here's something funny. I went on Google images looking for the art for the album and the comic cover linking to this post came up on the first page.

LN said...

When I checked the amazon link and saw the tracklist of the album, I laughed out loud on "Don't change"! Gotta hear that song!

Great review!

Marie Nomad said...

Great one, I especially love the Ninja style dancing. Also, the whole computer spitting out answers by typing in info has been done in Adam West's Batman. Yes, the Bat Computer.

Also, it proves that while Stan Lee is a comics genius, he can't write song lyrics.

Sarah said...

Is it bad that I feel the need to express my surprise and happiness at how much the criminology teacher resembles Damon Gant from the first Phoenix Wright game?

...I don't think so. But whatever, I'm gonna jump the bandwagon and say how ~*~CELESTIAL~*~ your review was. Looking forward to more!

Anonymous said...

You know you've failed hard as a celebrity when the fourth word on your Wikipedia entry is "aborted"

Lord Seth said...

I'm surprised you didn't make any Hannah Montana jokes on the part where her disguise was just an outfit change and a wig.

Rhomega said...

I can't be the only one thought of Jem and the Holograms...right? Oh, and is it just me or does it look like Nightcat's top popped off when she dove into the elevator?

Rock And Roll Martian said...

I for one, was definitely surprised about the part where Amanda was hanging off Nightcat's hair/wig. First off, since it's quite CLEARLY a wig she's wearing, it'd make, y'know, sense (but I guess I'm expecting too much of this comic). Having the villain try to pull Nightcat down with her, only to find out she grabbed hold of a wig, would be a much more enjoyable conclusion, in my opinion. I thought of that the instant I watched this video, and I'm not the guy responsible for frakking Spider-Man. I expected better from you, Stan.

Also, the ninja dancing was sheer brilliance.

Claire said...

"On behalf of women everywhere"..

Linkara, you are ace.

I like the longer run-time, too.

Anonymous said...

The record store bit wasn't as weird as you'd think. Even now there are still stores that sell only records. Hell, my brother earns a decent living by selling them on ebay.

Chris said...

This comic is totally celestial.

Seriously, what warped demon possessed Stan Lee to write this?

Anonymous said...

I want more Star Trek "Lets Play" videos!

Birthmark Hal said...

If I were Night Cat and I were buying those weapons I would say I was trying to cultivate an image as the female Ted Nugent

shikome kido mi said...

I hate to say it, but I can fix a couple of those plotholes pretty easily.
1) Lack of mask: I suspect that with her outfit design, Nightcat doesn't think anyone's going to be looking at her _face_, so it doesn't matter.
2) Garbage Barge: Still a terrible place to hide drugs because of all the media attention, you're completely right. But why is Miss Gideon moving it from city to city trying to sell it off? This one's a bit of a leap of logic, but maybe she isn't really trying very hard to move garbage she knows no one wants and is just using it as an excuse to move her barge around or something.
Of course, she could just do the same thing in trucks or vans without the media attention but apparently she's kind of dumb.
Smart rich unethical heiress' can make more money by becoming CEOs and running companies repeatedly into the ground before bailing than sellilng drugs anyway. Certainly it's less hassle.
But other than my incredible need to nitpick, I enjoyed this wonderful review of a terrible comic. Actually, wait, I enjoy nitpicking, too. It was good all around, then.
I particularly liked the "I can't decide" break from the terrible poem/music of the comic.

Joe Jusko said...

Hey, at least you liked my cover! lol

Bebopcola2021 said...

I'm watching the ATFWs from the beginning and I just had to gush about this one. Scissor Sisters + Ninja Dancing + a quick Carameldansen reference = just too awesome to handle. Squee! You mad me happy nerdy fangirl yesyes. Oh, and I always liked The Dazzler too. ^^

Anonymous said...

So what was the song Linkara was singing at the middle of the review?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"So what was the song Linkara was singing at the middle of the review?"

Rock Candy Baby, from an old B-movie called "Daddy-O" and featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Inanna said...

You're not an evil drug-dealing mastermind? Way to go and crush my hopes and dreams, man.

Ah well. You make it up by singing some more and then ninja-style dancing. Yay for nerds!

Anonymous said...

Minor correction; in Fortunate Son, you pointed out that lyrics are pointles 'unless the comic comes with a CD'.

IIRC, this one actually did. (But I could be wrong, I never bought the thing.)

- Mik

casino neteller said...

It is obvious, you were not mistaken

gejimayu18 said...

Sorry to post on an old show, but a friend just linked me to the site and I've been watching through old things. Grammar nazi away: ABOVE AND BELOW ARE NOT ADJECTIVES, THEY ARE PREPOSITIONS.

When Nightcat says that she used the "wrong adjective", that's not even the right part of speach!

Anonymous said...

There's this one used music store near my house that was full of records as recently as when ipods were first coming out, so I can confirm they existed long after records stopped being viable. I guess it's a hipster thing? Like used book shops or swap meets?

The building's still there. I dunno if it's still open now or if they only sell used CDs or whatever, but I can confirm that used record shops still exist. Think collectors' items, not current chart-toppers.

Also, I think a couple of indie bands today make limited runs of vinyl records, like a type of merch for diehard fans.

(I seriously doubt a mainstream record label would go to this much trouble for what looks like a dime-a-dozen pop singer, of course.)

But speaking as a guy who has wandered into a record store exactly once in his life out of idle curiosity, I could see how Stan Lee or his artist could end up doing the record shop scene this way if they had also wandered into a record store exactly once in their life, and made certain assumptions based on what they were looking at.

Ikarikid said...

If you're still curious:

However, be warned: it's as bland as you think

Mr. Acer said...

My friend, you ought to do your next review in the style of Jay Sherman from "The Critic".

Mateja Kovač said...

Woah, hold on - because mom failed the audition she lost the will to live and drank herself to death? It's not an instantenious process, that lasts for months! And if she did kill her self to alcohol in one night, how did she owerpover her husband who is a police officer? And how much alcohol did they have in the house that was enough to kill her with fast dirnking? As drinking it like a human being consumes alcohol would result in her passing out after a few hours and not be enough to kill her...

And Dr. Ecstasy and mr. Krak?

Linkara! I won't let show business kill you, too!

Yaaaaaay! Dad is dead and now there's no one to forbid me to become what mom always wanted to be!