Monday, September 7, 2009

Zero Patrol #1


The Zero Patrol - zero interest, zero characterization, zero sense.



38 comments:

Alex Stritar said...

Mechakara destroyed the continuity alarm! That fiend! You can't destroy someone else's running gags!

Anyway, another great review of another bland comic.

Totalpranny said...

Wow ! Your British accent is impeccable !

Philosophista said...

Replinkara did a favor destring the continuity alam lol The funny thing is, every time i see him appears, I remember the arm of that butler at Scary Movie 2!!!! lol

Okay, just 'bout the Brazil part of the story... yes, the masks and all that cult are totally misplaced. Here, the most african traditions became a new religion called UImbanda, that in fact was a trick of the african-brazilian people back in the times of slavery to pray for their gods. They secretly create a relation with some saints of the Christianism and pray for them, but just to the eyes of the dominant class... There are no masks like that... Even in the native indian culture... (they prefer to make some body modifications, like Mati of Captain PLanet should look like: http://addsite.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/indio-addsite-wordpress-elton-boss.jpg)

'bout the comic... yes... it sucks... Poor Neal Adams had to do something like that... But at least isn't so bad as the Warrior comic or the others...

A, just a suggestion... you should look for BAD comics of some GREAT writers and artists... Like... Alan Moore's Violator. I NEVER read it, but the people who had read it always says how it stinks... It should be nice something like that...

SynjoDeonecros said...

I sense a culmination between you and Mecha-Linkara dealing with a crappy Avengers Ultron comic.

The Trembler said...

Zero is right. Wow. This is subtle badness. Inadequacy after inadequacy ads up until the sum total is zero. You weren't outraged, but you had that energy of your better videos anyway.

And of course Picard is god. I think that would be obvious now. Pity the alternate timeline which may diverge too much from the Prime one for him to ever be born.

There is one correction I have to make about the African ceremony in Brazil. I remembered seeing something about this concept, and I checked online to see if I was right. I was. I make not claims about the the accuracy of the comic's art -- I bet it;'s wrong to some degree or another -- but there at least were genuine African religious ceremonies in Brazil for quite a while.

Like the United States, Brazil was a destination for African people caught by slave traders. But unlike the United States, many of these Africans and their descendants preserved their culture.

Here are quotes:

"- The African culture survived better in Brazil than in North America, due to the more liberal politics of the Portuguese. Owners didn’t separate slave families (the law prohibited it), and slaves could buy their freedom, which wasn’t a very surprising fact even in the earlier colonial times. Black religious brotherhoods, supported by the Catholic Church and Jesuit missionaries, backed the process and raised the money…" (http://www.brazil-travel-guide.com/Black-In-Brazil.html)

"The way the African religion has resisted to white culture and religion is very revealing. Iemanjá, the sea goddess of ancient Angolan pantheist religion, became Our Lady; Oxumaré, the rainbow messenger, became Saint Anthony. And so on. The Catholicism and the African pantheism (in its condomblé version) were blended in this rather ingenious way. Colonialist’s efforts to catechise and integrate black religion were largely inconsequent. The religion from the Yoruba African tribe (Condomblé) has persisted and survived through Catholicism vestments. There are, today, at Salvador, around 1,000 Condomblé temples, and its penetration and social importance is so great that even white people, self-confessed Catholics, venerate Iemanjá.
Once in Salvador, you can easily arrange a visit to a Condomblé temple and attend to ceremonies. Just ask how, locally, at your hotel. Also locally, you can arrange visits to other high popular afro-brazilian expressions: a session of capoeira, a peculiar mixture of dance and martial arts.
" (same as last quote)

and "After abolition, inter marriage dissolved old ethnic groupings. But the 'nations' continued to flourish as centres of traditional culture in the form of such institutions as Santaria, Candomblés or Vaudous." (http://www.ama.africatoday.com/african.htm)

So African ceremonies did happen in Brazil. But I don't know what they really looked like, and am pretty sure they didn't involve space aliens.

Maybe this group was influenced by Vadinho from Pumaman,

Will Staples said...

Great review, as always!

And I love the opening graphic. Is that a "Gurren Lagann" reference I spy?

Charles Fernando said...

This is fun to see.. because you are defending brazil in 7° of september, who is like 4° July in America for us! Our independence day from Portugal!

Are Linkara trying to be the brazilian american hero? who knows?

And you know a lot about us! Thats awesome!

Juan said...

I think when it said "Phisycal Facilities" it was a mistranslation of the spanish word "Facilidades", which is better translated as "advantages" not facilities.

Anonymous said...

1 Were the robots sentient? Did the protagonists commit genocide?

2 When they travel into space aren't they more space interns than space explorers?

Philosophista said...

The Trembler is right, Candomblé has not anything to doo with masks and stars or things like that... They usually tries to summon spirits in some cerimony, with smoke at the sound of drums and dancing. The Mons-of-Saints and Dads-of-Saints (the "priests" of the religion) usually wears white clothes while tries to incorporate spirits of ancient spirits to help people in need of advices, knowlodge or mystical aid agains the black magic (called Macumba, by the way, is something that could resemble the jamaican Voodoo, and one of the curses is to left candles, alcohol, cigars and a dead black chicken in a cross road for the evil spirits... I leave near one and always there is a "macumba" here hehehe generally there's always someone who kicks and destroys it hehehe)...

But... No Magic or space cult or anything like that lol

falconwhitaker said...

Argh, not Mechkara again! He scares the pants off of me! D8

But yeah, those robots were kinda lame. If you're going to have robots, they should be awesome - not bland or chicken-shaped.

James said...

Lewis, when I saw that line about Orion "understanding his body," I wondered how you were able to resist making a masturbation joke. You're clearly a stronger man than I.

Dan said...

The Continuity Alarm's final waring was actually quite...ominous.

日本文化のマニアック said...

I'm glad a bunch of people jumped on the point about a large African population in Brazil before me. But of course that doesn't undo the totally racist depiction of the ritual. I'm not sure which was worse, that or the straw feminist.

Keep up the good work!

PWBOT said...

Zero? ZEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOO! *gets hit by numerous tranquilizer darts* Sorry, Code Geass relapse. Man, the heroes in this comic were really boring. At least Not Reed Richards had some funny moments.

Lotus Prince said...

When Orion said that they'd "hitch a ride with a vengeance," the comic misspelled it as "vengance." Terrible.

Mountain King said...

Once again my hope to one day be published are boosted.
If bland and pointless fantastic four rip offs like this can pollute comic book stores I can.
Thank you Linkara for boosting my hopes yet again.

As for the writer mixing brazil with some sort of Africa stereotype I have to say I'm not that surprised. I wish I was, but some people are not only complete idiots. They also fail to do ANY research whatsoever.

For a good example see Wiki...

Anonymous said...

ZERO PATROL

Damn straight. That superhero team had NOTHING going for them.

Cissi said...

Why does the young womans top disappear between 8:10-8:20 ?

MFlorian said...

I have to admit, when you were showing Zero talking about keeping peace amongst space aliens and you started mentioning the robots being a bad idea, I could have sworn you were going to make a Green Lantern reference.

"Well, the robots didn't work. How about some guys in spandex? Yeah, that's the ticket."

Truce Weston said...

great video! unusally bad comic

i'm dying to see that final showdown!!!

so until then, make mine linkara

alexanderthegreat said...

I feel rather ashamed of the fact I'm growing more and more interested in how this Cyber-Linkara saga will turn out than the reviews themselves! It's really well conceived and handled, little trickles of information and clues as the story goes on (how, and what, does the continuity alarm know about him and what he wants?), and it's actually quite dark and grim, all things considered.

I think you might've been a bit OTT about the Brazil "African" tribal stuff: when they have such terrible grasps of science, education and basic human anatomy, do you really expect them to show cultural sensitivity? They probably meant it to be a fictional Amazon tribe, and having the tiny reference pools that they do, drew them with African tribal masks. Then again, maybe they need to be taken to task over stuff like this, especially when they make no distinction between these tribes and Brazil at large.

I always enjoy OYAMMAMAYN (who doesn't?) and bear, of course. I have a bear rather like him, which I cherish to this day.

Brian said...

Next Week- Cyborg Linkara hides the TV Remote.

Intercultural said...

Linkara, UR da MAN!
I simply abhor these stereotypes we get shoved down our throats all the time. Not only did you do your homework, but also stood up for Brazil on our very independence day!

Tx dude,
you'll have my undying gratitude and that of my children and their children for generations to come.

Sieg-sama said...

Awesom job as always...

BTW, this is off-top, but will you review Batman: Arkham Asylum (the game)? Spoony reviewed it and liked it. So did Bennett. What's your call on it?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

I don't own the game nor a next-gen console, so I can't review it.

Paul S. said...

The 80s were like a golden age for bad coloring. Many books from that period, especially the ones from NOW and Continuity had a weird washed-out look.

Cláudio said...

You could say not-Reed used the image multiplying device as a mean to, say...STAY ALIVE? haha :P

Also, I'm from Brazil, that part was not cool man.

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

Hey, Linkara! Now that you done a Continuity Comic, we want to see how you would review examples from these other publishers that started in the 1980s:
*AC/Americomics
*Heroic Publishing/Hero Comics/Hero Graphics
*Antarctic Press

J.A.P.

Endless said...

Hey Lewis, a note about Brazil and Religion: a lot of people do practice a number of syncretic religions with strong African roots in Brazil. Most of syncretic religions are a mix of African religions and Christianity. The majority of the people that follow these hybrid religions live in the intercities of the largest cities in Brazil such as São Paulo, Rio de Janeiro, Salvador(in the state of Bahia), etc.

Like America, Brazil had a large population of African slaves. But unlike America, the slaves of Brazil managed to hold on to a large part of their African heritage, including religion. Overtime these believes became mix with Christianity.

I would guess between 10 to 15% of the population practice some form of religion that has strong African roots. Granted the majority of Brazil practices mainstream Christianity, but a pretty large piece of the population does practice different forms of Candomblé and Umbanda.

So just because Brazil is advance western country doesn't mean that it doesn't have a large group of people that follow African Religions. To be fair, it is an easy mistake to make. And the writer of the comic didn't have much knowledge on the subject either. "Gods of the stars" is a pretty lame over simplification. And "Donga-Don" might as well be baby talk.

Keep up the great work Linkara. I really enjoy your videos.

Anonymous said...

Don't you believe in extraterrestrial life, Linkara? Come on, it's almost impossible that there are all those stars out there and we are the only life in them. It's just insane to think that we are alone.

The Trembler said...

Another thing I'll give this comic credit for is that NotReed was given specialities in two different scientific disciplines. Not common but it does happen. It's certainly better than have scientific ng a scientist be an expert on all knowledge. Now if only this exceptional scientist didn't sound like an idiot.

Being a Scientist in general and being able to do anything involving science, that is the path of

DOCTOR INSANO!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or does Megalith look quite a bit like Ultra Boy from Legion of Superheroes? Yeah, a lot of the Continunity stuff wasn't very good (actually own a few issues when I was younger). Say, any chance of doing DV8 (that group of shock-whoring sociopaths I'm sure would give you plenty to rant about.

the4thpip said...

Hey, I liked the coloring. I kind of miss watercoloring in comic books. The Milestne books were wonderful because of that. Computer coloring is just so interchangeable.

And I don't think Neal Adams completely redrew the book so much as re-ink it. There is still a lot of Esteban Maroto in the figure work and the hair.

And do you know the awesome origin of Megalith's strength? As a farm boy, he lifted a calf. Every day while it was growing up. And one day, Megalith was able to lift a cow, man!

Ben H said...

I thought John De Lancie was God?

Oh wait....
"The universe is not so badly designed!"

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

Gone and Forgotten has started a series on Continuity comics:

http://gone-and-forgotten.blogspot.com/2011/02/continuity-comics-part-one.html

J.A.P.

Captain Sake Mangusto said...

Thank for the fair and square corrections about Brazil.

Most of writers always try, probably because ignorance and prejudice about foreigner cultures, to make countries like Brazil look more exotic than they really are even when they are already exotic on his own merits just by comparison with the readers local cultures.

We are nothing like anything presented in 99.99% of the mainstream media productions from the United States, those are mostly cheap stereotypes.

Travel back into your show's past is a lot of fun when i find unexpected gems like this but seriously your show is more like a cartoon than anything else on the more serious scifi/adventure genre, you are like Duck Dodgers if Duck Dodgers was produced and performed by the most sweet and less bitter of the three stooges.

That means i need to hired small children to evaluate and criticize your show or ask Tommy Wiseau when he is available.

And the guys from Zero Patrol looks more like a bad Power Rangers prequel, change and twist things a little bit and all will start to makes sense, that's not Captain Picard, that's frakking Zordon.

Oh the joys of time travel, when are we going to see you thin, long hair manned and tanned again ?

Only time will tell.

End credits BACK TO THE FUTURE THEME

P.S.: to Lewis Future Self : when you read this i guess we still will be friends : Please check Superman #661 Apr 07 "The Dangerous Lady" by Kurt Busiek, Richard Howell & Eduardo Barreto THIS COMIC WILL MAKE YOUR FEMINIST SENSES REALLY TINGLING.

Mateja Kovač said...

About the ellipsis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YTjKeHXe2c

This kind of story reminds me of an illustrated script for a video game because of it's structure, and it's a bad thing cause I ain't playing the game - I'm just reading about possible playthrough of it. I was overflown with this type of comics as a kid and I reeeeeaaaally find them boring :/