Monday, March 1, 2010

Doom's IV #1/2


Half as good as the last Doom's IV issue that I reviewed. Considering that one sucked to high heaven, you can imagine how crappy this one is.


82 comments:

  1. Poor Pollo, kept up all night because some wannabe mad scientist can't stop shouting...he deserves better

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  2. If you'll forgive my curiousity, Lewis, what's your beef with Wizard magazine?

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  3. Ugh! Looking at a Liefeld comic really is like watching a bad train wreck. It's so horrific yet you're compelled to watch. Even though he didn't write or draw it, it has Liefeld's name all over it. Anyway, great review. Always enjoy your rants on him. That reminds me, Liefeld Week is coming up in my 365 blog, if you're interested. Shameless self-promotion FTW! ^_^

    Also...do I sense a Insano/Linksano showdown in the near future?

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  4. *snickers* Okay, the end sequence with Dr Linksano made up for the comic review. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the review but because of the length of it (for some reason, I thought you were reviewing Doom’s IV issues one AND two, made me wonder why you'd re-read something you already did) it felt shorter. I guess that just goes to show how utterly pointless the whole thing was. There was nothing added to the characters, nothing to add interest to the series, just...gah, why cut down trees to make this?

    I bet it only existed for the interview at the end - which was a moronic idea in it's own right. Reading that, anyone who was interested in the series(people would have liked this? LIES!) would have gone, “I know what’s going to happen, why bother buying it?” Brilliant strategy there Rob, seriously, I'm putting that down on my "Not to do when Advertising my project" list. -_-

    You wouldn’t let 90’s Kid live in your storage room? I let one live there – Mom says it’s my brother. I think she’s lying but she has stuck to that story for the last fifteen years.

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  5. I must say that seeing this comic makes me want to watch the incredibles. I think it is the legs. Wow you are right nothing happens in this "comic", maybe the plot went away with the other half?
    However I think that would be giving the "comic" too much credit.

    Loved the ending, keep up the good work, Lewis.

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  6. Ah, the Wizard 1/2 series. So many issues, so little quality.

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  7. "Security Fumigation System," that was awesome! And Cyber-Idol looks like a Borg that was rejected by the Collective because he would serve more to stupefy the Collective rather than add to it.

    A good review, though it feel a little bland.

    And a totally random question: have you ever read Marvel's Transformers Generation 2 No. 1 comic?

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  8. Kinda odd that Liefeld would consider this Doom's IV stuff as "lighthearted". I mean, a comic about two characters who can't touch others and containing a character named "Grimm" isn't really the high point of lighthearted. I guess drawing all those EXTREME!!!1 stories must've turned his common sense into nothingness. I never got all the "#0" and "#1/2" issue numberings back in the 90s. It just seemed waaaaaaay too gimmicky for me. Then again, the 90s did give us super-holo-foil-laser-cut covers and all sorts of bizarre marketing dealies.

    Also, I take it that the Dr. Linksano plot will consist of him plotting to kill you, with hilarious results?

    Another great review, can't wait for the X-Men #1 review next week.

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  9. I think you mean "tonfas" not escrima sticks.

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  10. Great review, but I see a bit of a missed opportunity with the "I was once a man" line. Cobra Commander's "I wassssss oncccce a man" would have been perfect.

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  11. Yay, more 90's Kid!

    Also, what type of gas was being used on Dr. Linksano? I didn't really catch it. O.o

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  12. Fun review as always, especially the cereal comment. It's amazing how blind some comic writers are to the whole grim and gritty thing, accusing everyone else while being that way themselves. Though Liefeld isn't the asshat Tom Batiuk is about the whole thing.

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  13. Hilarious! actually I just watched the original Doom's IV review before watching this, I was suprised at how diffrent you were back then!

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  14. Actually I really like the idea of fraction numbered comics - On the other hand I'm a mathematician and talk with friends about how adresses such as Baker Street 221B should be changed to 221 3/4 (because obviously A should be 1/2 and every other letter should half the remaining intervall) so I probably shouldn't count.

    Great review as always :)

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  15. Great review, Linkara. I loved your intro and closing sections: variety is definitely the spice of life!

    - And an incubus Syberidol ........ yeah, I don't wanna go anywhere near that particular spelling/vocabulary fail ...


    One tiny quibble (and, yes, I checked that I was the first), Grimm's weapons are actually called tonfa, which are like Japanese billy-clubs, sort of. Credit 1/493 of a point to the comic creators for drawing them correctly.

    Now only 492/493 to go, Mr. Liefeld! :)


    Thanks for all the great videos: they're the perfect cure for a case of the Mondays :D

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  16. Poor Doctor Linksano. He just wants to rule the world. *goes to find which episode had the anti-magic field generator* Good episode, but I dunno. I think taking potshots at early Image comics is like shooting fish in a barrel. Ah well. I enjoyed it.

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  17. too short, wish you had done a longer one but I can't really complain about free entertainment.

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  18. Oh my god! You like Man of La Mancha!

    You just gained, like, fifty awesomeness points. And that's saying something.

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  19. So, Burn like Slyder because she can't burn him...yet Slyder wants to solidify so he can touch Burn...thus she will burn him.

    Okay. I need a minute, here. Woo. The room's spinning.

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  20. Those things Grimm (or however the heck you spell his name) is holding in that solo "bio" page might be tonfa. A few of them do look like they're just floating against the arm if you can't see the handles.

    Wow, the writing in this makes Warrior #1 actually look good. The incubus line and evolution...*headdesk* And you have to love that the article had "We're all doomed" is big letters. Yes, Rob, we are. Thanks to you. Though at least you can't set the "Doomons" on the world at large (I hope)

    Oh, and Dr. Linksano. Did he kick 90s Kid out of his room? Is he going to team up with Dr. Insano perhaps, or try to get rid of him? He's going to be a funny storyline, that's for sure. I have a semi-theory about him, but we'll see if I have something or am just making it up out of thin air.

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  21. I love this book. lawl! I own a whole chunk of these crappy image books.

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  22. Man, it's kind of sad that I tell what day it is by what videos come out.

    On the other hand, YESSSS, NEW LINKARA VIDEO.

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  23. I'm kind of surprised you resisted the temptation to go with a Portal "The room is being filled with a deadly neurotoxin" reference. Still, enjoyed the review, although its hard to top that two parter of awesome.

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  24. We have to suffer along with you? Linkara,that's why we follow you in the first place. ;)

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  25. Was...was that even a comic? It looked like more of a collection of images. Bad images. That burn my eyes.

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  26. "Occupation: Unknown. Not exposed." I totally took that to mean "We don't know, but he's not a porn star."

    Good review. I didn't really get the "how's my driving" joke, but that's probably just me...

    XD The storage room, eh? So that's where all these people keep hiding.

    Wow, I wasn't expecting the anti-magic field generator kit to be brought up. I laughed out loud. You even mentioned the dongly thing. XD

    INSANO vs LINKSANO. FIGHT. >:D

    (Aww, now 90s Kid will have to fight with Chester over the best box to stay in.)

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  27. Curse that Dongly Thing! When I ordered my Anti-Magic-Field Generator Kit, Mine was broken! And they don't do refunds!

    DAMN YOU INSANOOOOOO!

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  28. Wow, just wow. Doomon? That couldn't have sounded good even by 90's standerds.

    Lol, pesticide security system.

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  29. Seriously, issue number "a half"?

    "IT'S LIKE, SYMMETRICAL HARDCORE!"

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  30. been waiting for this

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  31. Hmmmm a book with the number four in it's title, a large stone man, a character drawn to look transparent (even if he isn't), and a hero with fire powers. I can kind of see why Marvel would think this was a Fantastic Four knockoff. Granted this was around the time they sued Jim Shooter thinking Plasm was a knockoff of an obscure (and horrible) Marvel UK book called Plasmer. So maybe they were just litigation-happy against former employees.

    "Doomons" sounds like a villain of the week on Digimon.

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  32. And here's me thinking you only wore your hat because it looked good. I've learnt so much today! Yay!

    Linksano is really starting to grow on me. I want that coat dammit.

    Remind me never to crash at your house.

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  33. Linkara when are you going to review Battle for Bludhaven?

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  34. LOL. The ending was awesome! Can't wait to see more of Linksano! Wizard magazine sucks!

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  35. noy every thing image made in the 90s was bad. kurt busiek's Astro City was realy good.

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  36. Nice review. I agree, what's the point of issues bellow 1 and so.

    The ending really cracked me up too.

    Also, I'm first, bitches!

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  37. I have a copy of BludPayne #3.142857!

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  38. I dunno if I'm the only one, but personally my response to Syber Idol calling himself an incubus would be to break out Inigo Montoya's "You keep using that word" speech.

    BTW Lewis, where did you get the Insano goggles? Did Spoony give you a pair, or is it something they sell at Spencers or Party City?

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  39. Doomons? Doomons?! Bwhahahahahaha that's ridiculous! Dr.Linksano getting gassed was also hilarious!

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  40. I can't hear "I was once a man" without thinking about Cobra Commander.

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  41. @KHoyt

    Would Pollo having his own show satisfy our blue friend after all those sleepless nights of hearing some interdimensional mad scientist ranting and raving?


    *Winks at Linkara*

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  42. Awesome episode as always Linkara! (Or Lewis... I really have no idea what you prefer to be called.)

    That Linksano character is really starting to grow on me. I have a feeling that I'm going to like this story line. The ending was just hilarious, by the way! (Nice to see Pollo is making more appearences.)

    I'm sorry to say it, but I really don't have any constructive critism to give here. If there were any places where I thought you messed up, trust me, I'd tell ya', but you seem to have this down. Your acting, as always, is great, the review was hilarious, and the jokes seemed to fall perfectly in place. I enjoyed this episode so much, that I almost feel bad that I can't find anything wrong with it. Good job man, keep the reveiws coming!


    By the way, I don't know if you've seen Spoony's Party Mania review (I know you were in it, duh, I just don't know if you've seen the finished product.)and I was just wondering if one of the Schlumper brothers was supposed to be like Linksano, while the other was Insano. That's probably not true, but it would make quite the crossover event, don't you think?

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  43. What we can draw as a lesson from this comic: Somebody really needs to find Rob Liefeld, chop his hands off, and sew his mouth shut so he can never terrorize us with these abominations he calls comics again!

    Oh, and the ten-year-old box of Froot Loops line was hilarious. Great video as always, Lewis!

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  44. My god, Syber Idol is basically the poor man's SHODAN. xD

    Great review though. Our innate hunger for schadenfreude is satisfied once again by you tearing into Rob Liefeld.

    The ending with Dr. Linksano was also hilarious, nearly woke up my roommates from laughing so hard.

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  45. Is it sad that I was expecting the Cobra Commander "ONCE A MAN" thing during Cyber Idol's speech?

    Oh, and I figured why it's called 1/2...it's only half a comic. It's got the pictures and text boxes...it just needed the story.

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  46. A very good short but sweet episode. I loved 90s Kid's comments on the whole numbering system and the Battlefield Earth joke.

    Ooh, a 'Sano rivalry. That could be interesting. Also, I like the recent increase in Pollo cameos. Character/Show development?

    I have now decided that that closet is a mini-TARDIS (however that works) capable of holding a large number of free riders...and a window.

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  47. Linksano Vs Insano! I can smell the horrifying fanfiction already...Ew.

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  48. Hah, I love Linksano already, can't wait to see more of him. if you think this is bad you should do issue 3.14! (Oh God I just made a Pi joke, I REALLY hope there isn't an issue 3.14)

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  49. LOL, Doomons. Though if they had gone with that, it would have ended up being very fun to say. You'd sound like a Jamaican ghost. "Doooooomons! Doooooo, mons!" Hours of fun.

    Ooooh, that's why Linkara never noticed someone was living in the storage room. Dang it, 90s Kid, look at the trouble you cause. I'd like to think Linksano and 90s Kid have similar eating habits, meaning all the Doritos and Mountain Dew Code Red will be depleted in the coming weeks. Also, does Linksano looking him up mean Insano has a legit website (where he advertises his triumphs of SCIENCE!) in the Atop the Fourth Wall 'verse? Oh my God :D

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  50. Chelsea: Well, at least around the time of the Neutro review, Dr. Insano WAS president...

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  51. CMWaters:

    Knowing Insano, every page is probably one, long paragraph-free rant about his inventions and science, with the Linkara page consisting entirely of incoherent rage-gibberish. Then he'll occasionally have a tiny blurb of "oh yes, I ate the senator from Arizona's brain today during our meeting. Tangier than I expected."

    Someone skilled in Internet magic and with a lot of free time clearly needs to make this a reality.

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  52. It could have been worse, with the mispelled names.

    At least he wasn't called "Ztrydër~*" Or Töne Loc.

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  53. Hey, Linkara didn't notice that Burn is a female version of the Human Torch!

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  54. DOOMONS - REPERCUSSIONS OF EVIL

    Cyber-Idol waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were doomons in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His messages to the doomons were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
    Cyber-Idol was a android for fourteen years. When he was young he looked at the computers and he said to dad “I want to be the computers daddy.”
    Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY DOOMONS”
    There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the computer station base of Cyber-Idol he knew there were doomons.
    “This is Cyber-Idol” the radio crackered. “I will fight the doomons!”
    So Cyber-Idol gotted his monoulog and monouloged the wall.
    “HE GOING TO BORE US” said the doomons
    “I will fight at him” said the cyberdoomon and he fighted with the fury of his dammed soul. John monouloged at him and tried to bore him to death. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to fight.
    “No! I must monoulog the doomons” he shouted
    The radio said “No, Cyber-Idol. You are the doomons”
    And then Cyber-Idol was a zombie.

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  55. Since when do Linkara and Dr. Insano have a rivalry?

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  56. Liefeld comparing himself to Alan Moore? Not a chance in this universe. (Though I personally haven't read 1963)

    Ironically though, Moore worked at Image comics for a period and decided to reboot some of Liefeld's series, including Youngblood, until DC bought them and he quit.

    I wonder what Linkara thinks of Moore? Obviously, we all know that Watchmen is amazing and great and all, but he's written a lot of other stuff too. I'm halfway through collecting the TPBs of his Swamp Thing run and it might be my favorite Moore story. There's more creativity in a single chapter of Swamp Thing than some comics see in a hundred issues.

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  57. I had to find your blogspot just to congratulate you on your great taste in showtunes. <3 for Linkara!

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  58. So Dr. Linksano watched all the way up to Part Nine of the Final Fantasy VIII review in ten minutes? Does he have a time compressor too?

    I've been meaning to comment on this for a while, but I have a hard time typing with my sister's puppy in my lap. I was very surprised at seeing a brand-new supervillian just as the Mechakara story-arc resolved. I was kind of expecting three or four "normal" episodes before we saw another story-arc start. I'm not sure why I expected it. Maybe because the Mechakara story was so ingeniously paced, I figured we'd get some time to recover before diving into a new supervillain. Well, maybe Linksano isn't going to put us through the ringer like Mechakara did. (Seriously, that was some brilliant story-telling. You built it up so well, by the time we got to the last Ultimates 3, my heart was trying to escape from my chest. If Linksano is meant to be as epic a villain as Mechakara, I'd hate to see his story-arc get rushed.)

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  59. Seriously? That whole thing was just some guy with a spittle problem monologuing? D: I kept waiting for, you know, something to happen. And yeesh, I'm just a silly cartoony webcomic chick and that art makes me cringe.

    So much love for 90's Kid and Linksano. Your show has become one of the highlights of my week. :D

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  60. You know, I can see Marvel's point. Team of four, two male, one female, one giant rock monster thing... one of the members is all about fire, another turns invisible, and one is a giant rock monster thing... Reversing the gender of your fire and invisible guy doesn't really make it a unique idea.

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  61. Plot? We don't have no plot! We don't need no steenkin' plot!

    This "Linksano" business seems to be chugging along merrily. I bet you have a lot of fun playing that character :-)

    Oh, and this horrendously bad art gives an excuse to link to this commission for '90s Kid:
    http://jerenberg.blogspot.com/
    2010/02/bloodgun.html

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  62. I actually picked up a few 1/2 issues from a discount bin. Even when they were from creators I liked in series I enjoyed, they were just filler stories with some added behind-the-scenes stuff. That might have been a sell back in the day, but now you can just hit your favorite creators' blogs to see/read this stuff for free.

    I can see Marvel's point, too. Except for Grimm/Mr. Half-Mask, the rest are almost direct analogues to the FF (except the Storm siblings' powers were gender-swapped). Plus, I think that there was a guy who actually looked like Half-Mask in FF at the time who was also a guy from the future, which probably didn't help Marvel's mood (this was during Sue Richards' "4 logo as a boob window" era). If I'm wrong, feel free to correct.

    I *heart* Dr. Linksano. That is all.

    Am I opening a can of worms if I ask for a "worst of Wizard" spotlight? ;)

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  63. I really like your show, and I was wondering if you have plans for what you are going to do with Harvy Finevoice. I heard rumor that he might have his own show, and I was wondering what he might review. Also, I have a recemondation for you. Have you ever heard of the Tintin comics. Awsome comics.

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  64. "Ironically though, Moore worked at Image comics for a period and decided to reboot some of Liefeld's series, including Youngblood, until DC bought them and he quit."

    No; I think you're combining three different stories together. What happened was that Moore worked at Image first, with Spawn, Spawn/Wildcats, Violator vs Badrock, and then decided to revamp Liefeld's Supreme.

    At this time Liefeld was having a fight with the other Image founders over business issues. Depending on who was telling the story, Liefeld either was kicked out of Image, or left of his own volition. (He returned to Image just about two or so years ago) Either way, he took his books with him, which included Supreme.

    So he ran Awesome Entertainment and Moore worked on several well-acclaimed reboots for him, such Supreme, Judgment Day, and Youngblood. Then Liefeld had some sort of financing problem and Awesome Entertainment went under.

    In the meantime, Moore was making a deal with Jim Lee to start America's Best Comics, where he'd write titles such as League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Tom Strong, Top 10, and Promethea. Unknown to Moore, Lee's Wildstorm was going to be bought out by DC. Moore wasn't thrilled but was willing to work on them until DC interferred.

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  65. Pfft. The BeeGees would have NEVER misidentified feudal Japanese weaponry!

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  66. reminds me of this one Wizard promotional 1/2 type comic, it's about some midget alien gladiator warrior (his planet makes him play some sort of gladitorial game that's "like football but more violent and more extreme!" (duuuuuude!!!) he escapes to earth where he becomes a bike messenger to a barrio in new york, he tries to deliver a package to some gangbanger and the other people in the gang try to kill him and steal the package because they think its drugs, but turns out it's grapefruit

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  67. Ok hold on a sec, so Liefeld was trying to make a "funny" comic with Dooms IV? This was supposed to be his silly comic that really didn't take itself seriously? Well even if he was trying to do that he still FAILED. If he were trying to have fun with it he'd do something like, I don't know, HAVE FUN WITH IT! The entire comic looked panel for panel like it was supposed to be like any and all the 90s gun comics that they had! Well, at least I can take comfort in the fact that his name is used in ridicule now. Well I guess as the old saying goes with one good idea you have to have a hundred bad ides. Hence, Deadpool.

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  68. Psh, what I want to see is a Linksano v. In-kara face-off.

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  69. Oh, jeez, I'm sorry. I can't believe I forgot to do this until now.

    http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2009/03/amazons-attack-5-and-6.html
    "Hello? Doom's IV? I'm sorry, I want you back."

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  70. You made me laugh at Battlefield Earth. That's pretty scary considering I've seen it four times.

    Bravo, sir, bravo.

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  71. I learned how royally out of touch I was with the comics scene by way of a 1/2 issue. About three years ago, I took my two longboxes to a comic shop expecting to walk out with a wad of cash. The collection roughly spanned 1992 to 1995 (when I'd somewhat lost interest). The two issues I brought out first were Amazing Spider-Man #400 and Ripclaw #1/2. In short, I was literally laughed at (and the rest of the collection didn't fare much better). The Spider-Man issue they told me was worth the cover price (which is kind of impressive, I guess) but the Ripclaw issue was utterly worthless. I mean, I know Wizard is pretty widely-distributed, but you would think that being a promotional item nonetheless would give it some degree of a collector's value (like the Doom comic).

    Anyway, I always get a kick out of your "State-then-wait" bits where you say something ironic and then catch yourself with "wait, what?" (I know there's a better name for those kinds of jokes, but I can't think of it). Somehow, it never gets old.
    Only point of criticism I've got is that I'm still not totally sold on the running gag of Link-sano's plots getting foiled before they have a chance to start (door-in-the-face, fumigation, and so on). I neither like nor dislike it at this point, but I'd say run with it a while longer.

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  72. Jeremy A. PattersonMarch 3, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    AC Comics also had a failed movie tie-in comic in Black Diamond, which was based on a Sybil Danning movie that was never released!

    J.A.P.

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  73. Thanks to the anonymous who corrected me, the whole story of Alan Moore's travels around the comics company universe are pretty complex. I was really just trying to point out that Moore is a great comic artist and revamped some of Liefeld's properties so they wouldn't suck.

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  74. SYMMETRICAL HARDCORE is just as awesome as POWERHOUSE EXCITEMENT.

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  75. Bravo, magnificent idea

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  76. is this for real? god i hate the "frustrated sarcastic reviewer put upon by the universe" schtick.

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  77. "is this for real? god i hate the "frustrated sarcastic reviewer put upon by the universe" schtick."

    Is this for real? God I hate the "annoying anonymous troll that doesn't know how to capitalize letters" schtick.

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  78. You know, I wonder if that Doom's IV movie that was being developed would have been good. My answer -- probably not.

    Issue number 1/2 of Doom's IV that was produced for Wizard Magazine -- lame.

    Another funny moment for Dr. Linksano -- both his reaction to how successful regular Dr. Insano really is and his panic at the poison gas you unleashed is priceless.

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  79. "Grimm: aka, no alias
    Age: Unknown
    Status: Unknown
    Occupation: Unknown
    Not exposed"

    Well, I sure am glad they dedicated a whole splash page to this bio. I know so much more about the character now!

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  80. Through all the times I've re-watched your show, this is still one of my favorite episodes. One of my favorite 90s Kid's jokes is in here the 'it's like symmetrical hard core!'

    I'll admit it, I talked like 90s kid in the well, 90s, and some days still kind of do.

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