Monday, April 30, 2012

The Amityville Horror Sequel List

Okay, this is kind of silly, but I was watching Amityville 2: The Posession, which is the sequel to the original "Amityville Horror." Now, I'm a fan of the original (plus of haunted house stories in general), but I know sequelitis is easy to strike, especially in a series like this. While on twitter, a lot of people were surprised to learn that the original movie had sequels, nay, that it had SEVEN sequels. Mind you, after the third movie, they realized that nobody would be staying at a haunted house after that point, so instead they took the incredibly goofy route with the direct-to-video sequels and started having random objects from the original house popping up other places.

When I started listing them off, people came up with their own sequel ideas, many of them really damn good, so I didn't want to retweet ALL of them and instead decided to compile my favorite ones here. Enjoy!

For reference, here's the original series (with my own silly additions):
1. The Amityville Horror
2. Amityville 2: Sort of a Prequel but not really
3. Amityville 3: I haven't seen it yet
4. Amityville 4: Evil Killer Lamp
5. Amityville 5: A Haunted House, but not the same haunted house as the original
6. Amityville 6: The Cuckoo Clock of Doom
7. Amityville 7: Evil Haunted Mirror Ghost
8. Amityville 8: This Time it's a Dollhouse that looks like the original house

And now, for your enjoyment (Click "READ MORE" to see!):

These are all just pretty much copy-pasted from Twitter.

Amityville 9: This Time It's Foamy (look up Foamy the Squirrel and the Amityville Toaster)

Amityville 9: The boat's revenge.

Amityville 10: The Hash-slinging Slasher

Amityville 10: The Beginning

Amityville 12: The Biggest Little Amityville House in Texas

Amityville 17: Return to Sender, Addressee Unknown (Mail gets returned from Amityville, but now it's haunted!)

Amityville 20: Who's in the Kitchen at this time of night

Amityville 23: some parts of cement block were used in another house making it somewhat haunted....ooooooooh

Amityville Horror XVX: It was all just a dream.

Amityville Horror 34: Let's Watch a clip show of the first 33 films. This one is not a television special, it's in theaters.

Amityville Horror 37: Pictures of a house five blocks away from the original house. Ooo!!

Amityville 42: The house sinks into the ocean, scaring all of the dolphins off of the planet.

Amityville 43: the haunted dog house from the original house

Amityville 43: The House where a Guy Removed a Splinter the He Received in the Original House

Amityville 47: we did some recordings inside the house once and the tape is trying to kill us!

Amityville 49: Amityville House vs. House on Haunted Hill. Whoever wins, nobody cares.

Amityville 50: The dirt someone who went there was used for soil in a plant that went to SPAAAAAAAACE! The Plant is the killer

Amityville 57: The original house was cryogenically frozen and put on a space station. It is unfrozen and begins killing people.

Amittivilli Horror 58. It's an Italian film by Bruno Mattei that is actually a ROSEMARY'S BABY knock-off. Staring Reb Brown.

Amityville 62.5: the house was plowed over and the haunted lot is for sale at a less than reasonable price! Oooooh!

Amityville 64: Curse of the video game systems!

Amityville 66 The return of the Amityville Toaster!

Amityville horror 68: "Syndicate of Destruction"

Amityville #69: The Sequeling

Amityville Horror 77: The wind chimes outside the house were sold in a yard sale and the loud noises they make frighten cats

Amityville 86: A nail was resued to hang a picture in another house so now....oh screw it we're out of ideas. Just buy our crap.

Amityville 87: After The Fire. The ashes of the original house all fell on the rest of the town, spreading the Horror further...

Amityville 86: The evil contractor of the evil house comes and makes some evil renevations! OF DOOM!

Amityville Horror 99: The Game, Lightning strikes and the horror infests a virtual reality game, trapping the players within.

Amityville 100: The air someone breathed in the house and exhaled outside of the house is now going around killing people.

Amityville Horror 100: The people who actually live in the house get tired of all the visitors and go on a murdering spree.

Amityville 126: Curse of the fabulous Window blinds! They're in fashion season! Of death! FABULOUS!!

Amityville 137: Someone sneezed while walking across the street from the original house! CONTAGIOUS.

The Bride of, Son of, Ghost of, House of, Room Mate of, some one who once lived in Amityville AKA Amityville 149: The Quickening!

Amityville 359; A small scraping of paint LANDED ON THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR!

Amityville 200X where Mega Man teams up with Birdman to search for the lost gold in the Amityville house

Amityville In The Hood

The Copiague Horror. We ran out of things to do in Amityville so we haunted the next town over

Amity Horror XIV: Someone -wrote the name of the house down-. Aaaah!

Amityville 0: The land for the house is bought, at a HORRIFYING price.

Amityville Q: Someone thought of the original house, then got hit by a bus. SPOOKY.

Amityville QVC .. Polaroid pictures of the house from a magazine. Pictures are sold online

Amityville 90210: Twins who move into a high school built with the Amityville house material. OOOOOOOO!!!!!

Amityville Zzzzz : Someone fell asleep on a pillow that was once in the house and had bad dreams! Oooohhhh

Amityvilleception: Deep within the house is another, even more haunted house.

An Amityville Christmas, Santa visits the house and somehow teaches it the meaning of Christmas, also it haunts the North Pole


Aquinas said...

Sounds to me more like rejected Friday the 13th sequels.

CaptainCalvinCat said...

I thought that Amityville 359 would be the US Military try to take down the Amitiville house, but is completely devastated, just leaving one lieutenant alive, who gets visited years later by the owner of the original house to get his sequel.


Nice list. ^^



Anonymous said...

Pretty sure I've seen Phelous review a few of these.

platinum said...

What's sad is that you just know that at least 2 or more of these are actually gonna come out.

You just know it. XD

Anonymous said...

Ehem, did Brad Jones contribute #58 by any chance?

Anonymous said...

Amityville 39: The true horror is that you’re still buying this crap!

Gyre said...

I think Amityville Horror 100 has potential. I know that I'd be running around looking for a lighter and can of gas by that point.

DefectiveType40 said...

Glad you saw mine. It was originally going to be number 420, with the plot involving cannibus being grown on the soil where the house used to be and anyone who smokes it gets possessed by the spirit of the house... but that couldn't fit into a tweet. Plus, a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference is always a better choice.

Carl said...

Good list, Linkara. Lol. I didn't know it had that many sequels.

TimTE01 said...

The third film is about the same haunted house. However, most of the victims are not actually in the house.

Instead, the evil of the house attacks people via annoyingly-loud flies and 'Final Destination'-style event kills.

It's also a '3-D film,' but has no 3-D release. I guess nobody cares to re-release it.

Anonymous said...

Well, you know that list isn't real, of course. If it was, they'd have had a "Darker and Grittier" reboot somewhere in there. (Hey, everyone's doing it).

Seriously, though, I think my favorite is "Whoever wins, Nobody cares."

boooratt said...

Amityville 33.3: Rape Stove the Stove that Rapes!

Movie-Brat said...

Personally, I refer Amityville Horror 3 as the one with Lori Loughlin from Full House as really, that's pretty much the only notable thing about it.

And that's saying something.

Razorgeist said...

Amityville 1992 Its about Time actually isn't all that bad as Z-grade horror sequels go.

Amityville 77 Fridge of fear

Amityville 78 Gameboy of Gore

Amityville vs House (No not the TV show the 1986 William Kat horror comedy)

Amityville vs Jason

SailorCardKnight said...

I actually knew about the 2nd and 3rd films (never seen them though), and even the remake (I can't remember if it was the original or remake that I saw years back), but beyond that I didn't even know the other films existed. How is it even possible to make sequels to Amityville horror? If there is will and a paycheck theres a way I guess...

and this list is HILARIOUS! If some of these where actual films i'd totally watch them.

Adam said...

#96: It's the Amityville Horror, Charlie Brown.

TimTE01 said...

The Asylum is getting on the act too. Sure- why not?!?

Amityville 101: Haunted High School
Amityville 2099: Same Characters, More Stubble

Fun fact: the DVD version of Amityville 1992 edits the year out of the title- History is written by whoever owns the print, apparently.

Brightcynder said...

Is it bad I think some of those actually sound kinda awesome? XD

GamingFather said...

Abbott and Costello meet the Amityville Horror?