Didn't think the first issue was too bad? You haven't seen anything yet.
126 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Comparing Stan Lee to Shakespeare is surprisingly apt as both created media for mass consumption that was considered low brow and looked down on in their heyday despite being massively popular.
Also I am pretty sure the guy in the taxi was supposed to be Judd Hirsch because of the hair and the cop is Hal Linden for the same reason
Just for your reviews this comic seems really funny and I might look into it because of you, thank. Thank you Mr. Lovhaug for exposing us to such an interesting series
...I didn't even read the full issue and my brain's crying in the shower. Ugh.
On another note, how many MST3K DVD's are there in America and is the movie still in print? Only asking since I'll get around to importing them one day, since we only have three officially released, and I don't think we ever got the movie.
You know, hearing about Marville and trying to study for finals made me feel stupid. I kid you not.
I feel like this is just filled with inside jokes that no one except the people in the authors inner circle of friends will get. I mean...Batman, Iron Man, and Black Panther get defeated by RL with a golden microphone? That's like out of some random Ad Libs book.
Great review though Linkara! Can't wait for PSA Hell month!
P.S. Seriously though, how hard is it to get through an issue of this series? It looks really, really painful. x _____ x P.P.S I wanna watch MST3K Manos- The Hands of Fate now. XD
Dear God, that comic is stupid. When the gratuitous cheesecake cover art is the smartest thing about a comic... that isn't good. Also, if the girl on the cover is supposed to be Mickey, why is her hair not only red instead of purple, but much longer then in the comic.
Speaking of Mickey, why is she in this story? Don't get me wrong, she's the closest thing Marville has to a likable character, but that's because she seems to exist to talk about how damn stupid Al is.
Also, Rush Limbaugh farting and perverted process of law jokes... What kind of idiocy is this?!
I did feel that the Punisher was the only person in character in this. After all, all he does is look for any reason to shoot things. (Punisher and Eminem)
But yeah, this was 'fun'. So when you get to the next issue, I hope you have some moral support ready.
"Just for your reviews this comic seems really funny and I might look into it because of you, thank. Thank you Mr. Lovhaug for exposing us to such an interesting series"
...You weren't paying attention to the review at all, were you? The comic wasn't funny, and it sure as heck isn't interesting. My advice: avoid it.
One minor nitpick with the review. You said that up to the dislocated head thing, the comic had been playing physics pretty straight. But the first issue had people chopping meteors in half with their bare hands... meteors that supposedly were going to destroy the planet if they weren't stopped. Now they didn't destroy the planet, but I do think I remember them managing to at least blow up some buildings, and regardless, normal people doing tomahawk chops to break up flaming meteors is absurd.
So I'd say that the head thing shouldn't have been as surprising to you as it was.
But regardless of that minor nitpick, the comic is still really stupid. Some things manage to pull of seemingly random craziness and make it funny, but this is just truly random stupidity. A lot of the references and parodies, if you can even call them that, seem rather mean spirited as well, and its attempts to inject actual messages into the comic are pathetic and would be out of place in this style of comic (or the style of comic I think this was trying to be, it fails so it doesn't really have a style I can think of) even if the comic was good.
Looking at the back cover of the comic makes me crave for some Oreo O's!
Also to The Blue and the Gold, Shout Factory is the best place to find MST3K DVDs. The only other company that had released episodes of the show on DVD is Rhino, which is to be avoided. Just go to the Shout Factory website and you'll find a ton of them. I hope that helps.
Y'know, the sad thing is, there are a couple of good jokes buried deep in here. The main one that strikes me as useable is a farcical superhero who builds a whole career out of accidentally capturing the same minor crook over and over again.
You forgot to say what the song during your freak-out (for lack of a better term) was during the credits.
Also, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: April is now over, and yet there's been no new developments in your storyline. When is it actually going to start?
Anonymous's observation about how Shakespeare and Stan Lee are similar brings up a very good point... and therefore has absolutely nothing to do with the thought process that went into the joke.
On an unrelated note, that comic make my brain try to strangle me to stop the stupidity from bombarding it.
To Bill Jemas, Peter David helped the public to see how awesome Aquaman is. He worked on the Incredible Hulk, Young Justice, Supergirl, and Star Trek novels and comics. You got fired from Marvel for being a jackass. Go to Hell.
Flatulence. The comedy of middle schoolers.
Spike Lee is the King Pin... Excuse me. (Walks away and wails impotently) THIS COMIC IS STUPID! Bill Jemas is a hack and the Smallville comic actually outsold this. I am going to watch Smallville, because despite all the faults it had, it was still entertaining, written well at times, and was better than this garbage. Also, trying to cover your ass with the "Marvel is stupid" line, Bill Jemas?
Great review Linkara probably one of your best. I was just as shocked as you were when you were reading it (I really like it when we have similar reactions but your comes with really funny jokes)
When it comes to being confused by comics nothing confuses me more than Kang the Conquer and Giant Sized Avengers #3 (I'm pretty sure it's that one) where it was revealed that Kang was eventually going to become Immortus. I mean he's Rama-Tut, Iron Lad, Kang and Immortus all at various points in his life and we never see him change from one to the other. Not to mention I don't understand why he always goes back to the 21st century to fight the Avengers and doesn't just kill them with they are babies or something.
I noticed that your videos are still formatted like they usually are. Sage, Phelous and a few other critics have it on what I think is quick-time maybe it's just them updating their software.
I think this is the angriest you've every gotten at a comic. And it was deserved. Honestly do not want you to continue this series. Care about you too much.
My God, this series is seriously gunning for the title of worst comic you've ever reviewed, Lewis. There's not enough alcohol in the world.
Can you really call something "satire" if it's as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face? And hell, I'm not even sure WHAT it was supposed to be poking fun at. Like you said, at the start it seems to be slamming Rush Limbaugh, but then shows up and takes down the asshole rich superheroes. The whole arrest sequence is an obvious knock on the "revolving door" justice system, and Spike Lee...I dunno. I just don't know.
And what, was that brief prison scene supposed to be a "haw haw lawl prison rape" joke?
I kind of wonder if "Big Belly Beer" wasn't meant to be another jab at DC, since Big Belly Burger is their universe's big fast food chain, standing in for McDonald's and the like due to legal reasons.
And really, I get the impression that including MST3K amongst all that crap on the cover was a vain attempt to give it a very thin veneer of intelligence. Which obviously failed.
This comic is like what Family Guy would be if you took out its good aspects and exaggerated its bad; a hyperactive political screed that couldn't tell a decent joke to save its life, and lost its point somewhere along the line because it was too busy making random, pointless, stupid pop culture references.
Would we REALLY have gotten an entire series' worth of this abomination if it had beaten Peter David's Captain Marvel? Would Marvel EIC really have such stunningly bad decision-making to approve something this worthless and vile?
PS, if you had somehow gotten Peter David to cameo and do a Chester A. Bum impression, I would have died laughing and then sent you an Internets.
Why would you bring VHS tapes and a PS2? It makes little sense. Sure, the PS2 is a gaming machine, but in the early days it was essentially a cheap DVD player, and that aspect helped make it one of the most successful systems ever(or at the very least, was a factor in the Dreamcast's demise).
@ The Blue And The Gold- They sell them in volumes now, four movies to a boxed set on DVD. Not sure which ones they have out or not, though, especially since there was a changeover in distribution a while back. Your best bet's to check out Amazon or a fansite or something.
More on topic, WOW. There's a certain point where you start wondering if there was an editor here, and if so, how drunk were they the day they approved some of this. It's an incoherent mess.
Looking at the timeline of things, I feel like the whole "Spike Lee is the Kingpin" 'joke' is supposed to be a knock on Ultimate-universe Nick Fury. I looked that up to ease the pain from being exposed to Marville.
obviously done for paradoy purposes, every REAL fan knows that the altrate title for the cinema snob movie is zombi 10:violent shit 4: Pierre Kirby has risen from the grave.
Call it sad if you want, but I looked at the math problem. If he has $200 million in a bank account with 6% annual interest, that would be $12 million/year in annual interest, or about $230,000/week.
If he gave out 300 hundred-dollar bills per week, he would have $200,000 left over.
See, the thing is, I really don't mind a Cheesecake cover. IF it's trying to rope people into something GOOD (Xena, Buffy etc.) THIS comic however just make a cheap buck with NOTHING in return.
Spike Lee is the Kingpin, really? I need to go boil my brain
I heard there is a beer called "terrible beer". Chances are it's from the old meaning of terrible (powerful I believe) but there is some oddly named booze out there.
Black Panther, what have they done to you? As if all the harm from his own comic wasn't enough.
Anyway my point from last time still stands. This fails because it isn't an enjoyable parody nor is it a strong deconstruction. It's the comic equivalent of someone charging you money to get punched in the face and shouting 'LAUGH! See, it's funny! LAUGH YOU IDIOT LAUGH!' before spiraling into a rant on why new needles are a conspiracy to make us all mole-people.
I am looking forward so much to the PSA hell month.
Also, loved the review. I don't really have anything against the cover since it at least somewhat represents the content, what with a character randomly being skimpy. Which actually makes me wonder, why not use a scene from the book with her in the weird hooker outfit instead?
I hate this book. And I've never read it. I hate it not just because it's bad but because it's one of those books that makes Marvel look bad. It's bad enough I have to hear people complain about Marvel yearly 3 to 4 event comics or someone saying "they have no dignity" such as Mar-vell coming back from the dead recently (again) or The events of OMD, or Greg Goddamn Land still doing Uncanny X-men. But now anytime I try to defend Marvel someone will bring this up as the worst comic ever made & That Marvel is no good
As for this issue? WOW was that police station scene stupid. Like... wow. I could have said that some of the jokes you seemed to really be angry at weren't that bad, but after THAT scene? I no longer care. It's just that unfunny.
Oh my Cthulhu that was terrible! I was willing to give this comic the benefit of the doubt and was actually thinking of getting the whole mini-series off eBay but after this no way in HELL! I know what some of the references were to but I still didn't get the jokes they were trying to make! This makes all those parody movies like Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie look like poetry by comparison! So why did Marvel even allow this threw if it demeans its own properties like Iron Man and Black Panther? 2 characters that are some the most liked and well written for the company! I think the only reason the 1st issue sold so well was that Smallville was really REALLY popular at the time and the cover being as misleading as they are lead some to think this book was actually like Marvel's own teen drama about a superhero but in comic form not a half-assed Zuckerberg knockoff! Please tell me no one tried make this out to be set in the real mainstream universe like having Spider-Man or Punisher reference meeting Spike Lee or Iron Man and Black Panther reference Rush! Wow prison rape jokes... that's more disturbing than funny... Well, great review as always Link, but this comic was so confusing and WTFish I think it'll effect people's enjoyment of it... think the Cinema Snob's Nukie review! That movie was so screwed up it actually made it hard to watch the review of it! So the Snob movie was going to be called SMUT! I like it!
PS: you misspelled "you" in your credits! On the 1st paragraph you wrote at some point you put "uou" instead of "you"! Just thought I'd mention that! XD
Where did this comic come from? I'd froth at the mouth about it but there is nothing to be said. This is garbage, pure garbage. The worst part was the "ironic" reveal of Spike Lee as the Kingpin. That ranged from dumb to offensive. Now the concept of irony is sullied forever thanks to this comic.
On what site did you get the sales data? I'm curious as to how Marville fared (especially in comparison to its competition in the "contest") as it went along.
I don't know about it being a movie title, but there IS a song called "Smut" by 70s Australian band Skyhooks. Proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE7kY6uQHAA
Oh, social and political satire from the profoundly stupid is painful, isn't it?
Anyway, yes, the only main character on Barney Miller with that type of mustache was the title character, played by Hal Linden; Captain Barney Miller. The show was set in a detective squad room, and most of the main characters almost always wore plainclothes. Uniformed officers weren't an uncommon sight, but Miller was not one of them.
"How come we haven't seen any big storyline stuff when you promised there would be?"
And I announced on Twitter that due to some stuff beyond my control, the beginning of the storyline is being pushed into May. When in May I can't say because it involves the new villain's costume and the Prop Lady is also working on another project at the same time that's making things difficult. When that's done, we'll have a lot of storyline stuff occur.
"I noticed that your videos are still formatted like they usually are. Sage, Phelous and a few other critics have it on what I think is quick-time maybe it's just them updating their software."
*Shrugs* Everyone else likes Quicktime. I like WMVs.
So...what the heck did I just watch? Seriously, Marville is just mind-warping and it just keeps getting worse. At the rate it's going, it may end up starting to destroy realities like Warrior did.
Besides, as a welfare worker, I know that randomly giving money out is not going to solve any problems in the world. If you have a hundred dollars, what will you do with it? Save it? Blow it? Use it on wine and women or for something that you actually need like some sort of prescription or illegal drugs? Besides, in a way both Batman and Iron Man inherited money but use it in constructive manners even with their own wealth and priveledge. Batman uses all of his resources in crime fighting; Iron Man uses all his to try and save his own life and advance tech even with the problems of it causing further problems down the line like in the Armor Wars. And Black Panther's 'wealth' isn't even really wealth: he's a king of a nation that is advanced in wealth and tech because of being lucky enough to be on top of Vibranium and having the means and knowledge to use it to help themselves and others. He's more a noble diplomat than a rich guy with time on his hands, that T'challa.
And yeah, time travel does weird things like turning people into balls of light...at this point I rather take Sam as our protagonist, even if he isn't Tetsu.
"On what site did you get the sales data? I'm curious as to how Marville fared (especially in comparison to its competition in the "contest") as it went along."
I tend to get my sales data from Comichron.com, which has sales data going back at least the last decade or so.
There are so many ways that I could say "WTFIWWY?" Why put a comic cover featuring a hot babe if you're not even going to put her in the comic? Were you this desperate to get comic readers and win the bet? Everything was not funny. The jokes were not funny, Rush Limbaugh was not funny, the characters and whatever that shit was was not funny. I speak for every superhero and supervillain in the Marvel Universe when I say that this comic already sucks and will get even worse.
I got this feeling that you starting the show all drunk will be a recurring gag on Marville.
I cannot wait for PSA Hell month, especially after something so bad and horrible.
I'd like to say that the only thing good worth looking at in this comic was the Oreo o's advertisement on the back, God I miss that cereal
Anyway, Ladies and Gentleman: that comic is evidence of what would happen is Friedberg and Seltzer wrote comic books; Good luck with the next issues Linkara, hope you have a membership to Bevmo!, you'll need ALL the alcohol to get through this series.
Oh God my brain what the hell was that I don't even.
That somehow manages to fail as a satire just as much as badly as The Dark Knight Strikes Again.
The whole Peter David scene was just a mean-spirited jab, and while I haven't read any comics written by him, he had a hand in writing Spider-Man: Edge of Time, which I liked, and I listened to a Spider-Man Crawlspace podcast where he was the guest, so I'm inclined to side with him.
Really, the reason U-Decide was a stupid idea was because of what they decided to put in the competition. Captain Marvel? Sure. A random story that has no connection to the Marvel universe and is of a completely different genre, relying on T&A covers (I was hoping you'd bring up how that Taxi cover was a cover for issue #1)? Absolutely not. An Ultimate Universe story about an original character who's a blatant parody of Batman and has had little to no relevance to the entire line? Honestly, I would actually prefer THAT over Marville.
Oh well. Next month is PSA Hell Month, which I look forward to. It probably works as a great way to recover from this abomination.
Also, when the comic said that Rush Limbaugh has a lot of fans, I'm surprised you didn't make a comment about how he recently lost a lot of advertisers due to being even more of an asshole than usual. I'd go into more detail, but just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
Apologies to the artist, but that doesn't look anything like Rush Limbaugh. Then again, even you reference the incredible similarities between the faces in this comic, so I'm going to go on a little rant.
There's very little I can't stand about comic art, but this is one of my pet peeves. I KNOW it's done on an incredibly tight, assembly-line-like schedule, forcing the artists to draw quickly, and therefor the artist has to learn to draw similar body shapes and facial structures to shave off time. I've been to school for comics, I know the routine, and I realize it's laborious and involved, but artists, when you're doing a book that seems like it's at least attempting to be topical and comedic (though obviously failing miserably at both), I would expect at least some identifiable features in your celebrity guest stars.
Rush Limbaugh's features aren't anywhere NEAR that tight and sculpted. Neither are Ted Turner's. It's like the artist didn't even bother to consult a photo of them.
I guess, at least in the case of this book, asking for effort in the art is an unfair request, because simply interpreting this comic's script for art is probably as torturous an endeavor as swallowing broken glass, but this isn't just a problem I've seen in this book, this is all over the place in comics.
Lewis, I have (and have read) the entire Marville run and... Oy. This is a comic series that just finds new ways of kicking your brain through your nuts. As much as I'd "hate" to see you torture yourself it'd be fun (for us) to see you review the remaining issues all in one shot through a series of videos. Maybe a "Marville" month or something. Can't wait for the bizarre issue with the dialogue typed over the artwork and not in balloons.
You know, this comic would be funny if it wasn't so insistent. It just goes 'Laugh- dammit!!!'
Oh yeah, it's badly-written too. That's probably the bigger point, I suppose.
Speaking of badly-written, why do so many stupid comics have to use my actual name? It's bad enough to get the blond kid from the Tandy Whiz Kids comic...but now this guy. Ugh.
I'm just going to change my name to a symbol to avoid being associated with Marville.
Yeah, Marville #2, life is SOOOOO unfair for ALL black people EVERYWHERE. It's horribly, TERRIBLY unfa-oh, wait, NO, it isn't. I repeat my earlier point. If life WAS always, constantly unfair, we'd be living in a Final Destination movie. And for the record, the black guy in those movies is usually the only one who survives because he's the guy who runs the morgue, so...
No. No, I'm not letting that "life is unfair" thing go. Bullshit is bullshit no matter who says it, be it you, a bad Marvel comic, or a comic PERIOD like Dennis Leary. I admit that there are probably SOME bad cops out there and SOME unfair circumstances that people are forced into due to social class or the like and SOME poor people who take advantage of the system.
Emphasis on the word some. If it happened ALL the time and to pretty much everyone, life WOULD be unfair. Since it isn't, I repeat my earlier statement, Lewis...HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!
has it occurred to anyone that the whole thing could've just been a stunt to make Captain Marvel sell better? Bill Jemas was famous for trolling online fandom.
OK ... I get putting down characters from DC. It's silly and childish, but I get it. But why put down characters from your own company? That makes ZERO sense, and it's very obvious this wasn't good-natured satire.
Am I weird because I thought the panel with the guy talking with his head at his stomach was absolutely terrifying? I have no idea why, it was cartoony and silly, but that freaked me out.
Also Rush Limbaugh is weirdly better-looking in this comic than in real life ... generic art style I guess? And he has superpowers ... I just ... My brain broke. My brain is now officially broken. Goo goo ga ga.
"Emphasis on the word some. If it happened ALL the time and to pretty much everyone, life WOULD be unfair. Since it isn't, I repeat my earlier statement, Lewis...HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!"
Oh, for crying out loud... okay, you wanted a debate about this? Fine. I didn't feel like responding then, but since you're bringing this up...
You can have your opinion about how the universe works. However, you are attempting to establish that you are absolutely, unequivocably right about this, so here is my viewpoint.
Being a Christian, I believe that there is a God and subsequently that there is a Devil. Absolute good and absolute evil. Ultimately, "Fairness" comes down to the age-old question of "why do bad things happen to good people?" There are a multitude of answers to this, some satisfying to people but most of the time they are not. As a Christian, one assumes that God is loving and fair, and that ultimately we all get what we truly deserve. The problem is that until one reaches that point, there can be terrible suffering, unjust suffering at that. Abuse, oppression, and a multitude of other horrible things can happen to people who do not deserve it.
Even in western mythology there is an assumption of karmic justice to the world, that if we're good people, good things will happen in return and if we're bad people, bad things will happen in return. Unfortunately, the universe does not reflect that, since evil people can prosper greatly in life and good people can suffer terribly in life. If one assumes that there is ultimate divine justice in the universe, things do eventually work out, but it can be very small comfort.
HOWEVER, if one does NOT believe in these things, does not believe that there is an ultimate authority of good and an ultimate authority of evil, than the universe can even seem even MORE unfair. That same karmic justice can still apply even without a belief system. If you are good, good things SHOULD happen in response. If you are bad, bad things SHOULD happen in response.
Nothing in the world is the way it SHOULD be. THAT is what is meant by "unfair." I firmly believe in the existence of good and evil, and evil prospers far too often for my tastes to say that the world "just is." If YOU wish to believe that, that is fine. It's yours to believe in. But don't be attempting to come back two episodes later to get pissy with me for daring to say that bad things shouldn't happen to good people.
In re. to your comment on fairness and unfairness I recall a quote from somewhere (possibly Red Dwarf).
It went along the lines of this: I used to think that life was unfair. But then I wondered 'what if life was fair and all of us really were getting what we deserved?' I know am happy in the knowledge that life is unfair.
As an atheist I don't believe there really is any definite good or evil (and considering some of the definitions of good and evil going back in history I'm glad I don't*). I prefer to follow my self-preservation instincts and do what's most convenient, and often I find that actually what's most convenient is what other people consider 'good'. Things that might be currently considered 'unfair' such as the fewer educational and economic opportunities for African-Americans I consider bad because in the long run it is inconvenient for my country. A larger and better educated work force that included African-Americans would make my surroundings better and this would make my life better. I wish people would see how much improved their world would be if the entire population had better conditions. Unfortunately humans seem to be rather shortsighted when it isn't something personally involving them.
*Slavery, homophobia, spousal abuse/rape, female genital mutilation etc.
I was surprised you didn't go with a Sage joke/cameo after super violent gory anime, but the Brad cameo I could see why it might have come across as overkill.
I think I sense something of a flaw in how you're approaching this.
Life is two things. The first is a series of environmental circumstances. Even in that regard, people have more control now more than ever over how the environment around them works in terms of things like choosing jobs, schools, hell, we can prepare for storms and tornadoes and hurricanes in ways we never could before, and some people get out of things like that scott free. So even then life is being fair to some, and unfair to others, but not consistently one OR the other.
However the biggest thing life really is is this: people. People's reactions to each other, and people can control how they deal with each other and SHOULD be careful about how they deal with each other. If life was consistently unfair, then even as I write these words some jerks would be knocking at my house door, a 44 behind their backs, waiting to rob me blind. (Or if you wanted to go back to the "environment" thing, a tree would fall on my house) Since that isn't happening and doesn't happen to everyone, everywhere or all the time but SOMETIMES to SOME people, life can be OCCASIONALLY unfair.
It really all does go back to how people treat each other. This is primarily what our life experiences are made up of, and since most people treat each other just fine, then the burden of proof isn't really on God or the universe or any sort of cosmic whatever. That's not what he's meant to do. It's what WE'RE meant to do, and we're supposed to treat each other right. Says right there in every holy book,and if we screw up, that's on us, not any deity. Ain't like we misread the words.
Now again, if Life WAS always unfair in terms of, say "envrionmental circumstances", it'd look like a Final Destination movie where freakin' EEEEEVERYTHING is coming apart. Laser eye surgery would be killing people left and right! Nobody would ever get a tan and live! EVERY amusement park's roller coaster ride would end in a slaughter! Since it doesn't, well...
Also, I recognize there are ACTS which are unfair, but does that mean that, in the words of Doctor Who, the bad takes away from the good? One could make the argument that the general consensual idea hummanity has that things like Slavery, homophobia, spousal abuse/rape, female genital mutilation and the like are bad is an example of life being fairer than we think, because were it wasn't, those kinds of things would be accepted norms. Their existence in the world just means that again, some people are being unfair to others, whilst the rest say "this shouldn't be". So life is being about, oh, 75% fair, or 66% fair. Two out of three ain't bad, Mr. George. Look back in history, even. Back then those things were more accepted and that meant life WAS more unfair. But hey, if you look at the overall progress of humanity and how we treat each other and think about civil rights, within perhaps a century people will be LAUGHING at the idea of genital mutilation or workplace sexual discrimination the same way we now laugh at all those stupid, foolish people who thought slaves weren't human. You could argue life is far more fair now than it was a mere 30 years ago, it just isn't COMPLETELY fair.
But again, that primarily ties back to how people treat each other, and just because a situation isn't TOTALLY fair to you doesn't mean that it's just "unfair", it just means sometimes it is, in some ways it is, sometimes it isn't, in some WAYS it isn't. But hey, the good news is we're all working on it, right?
"But he's mostly known for drawing pin-ups, usually of female characters". Not that its a bad thing. :)
Lord knows I'd rather draw pin-ups for pay than my current job (especially after injuring my knee), but my art has a long way to go, before I get Greg Horn's Level. Ah well.. least I still draw better than Rob Liefield. :)
Oh... and one last thing. I'll say one thing that you wanted to say but can't since you don't curse on your show. Fuck Bill Jemas, Fuck him with giant, piloted industrial drill from Total Recall.
I think the cover is trying to poke fun at the cover for the Black Canary: Wedding Planner comic, which in itself is a comic you're probably going to get to.
Since you are a fan of Peter David's Star Trek comics I was wondering if you have ever read "Who Killed Captain Kirk?"
If you haven't it is a fun trade paperback that can be picked up cheaply and part of the story involves the crew travelling through hell as presented in the Divine Comedy.
Oh no, if the series gets worse from this point on, and you decide to review the other Marville comics... don't die of alcohol poisoning man. We need you.
You mean to tell me that the reminaing issues are worse than this? I do not think that is physically possible.
Lookinf forward to PSA Hell month, though they might be bad, they will provide some needed recuperation from this, I am not even going to call it a comic
"But again, that primarily ties back to how people treat each other, and just because a situation isn't TOTALLY fair to you doesn't mean that it's just "unfair", it just means sometimes it is, in some ways it is, sometimes it isn't, in some WAYS it isn't. But hey, the good news is we're all working on it, right?"
I never said life was completely fair or completely unfair. We say "life is unfair" in general because it's assumed that it should ALWAYS be fair.
But then again, I'm not just talking about myself or people living in the same area I do. You say environment and people are things we have control over. No, SOME people have control over it. If they are poor, or are suffering, or have to endure other individuals because they are unable to locate another location or other people who could be better for them, then they have no control over it. I have more control over my circumstance than, say, an AIDS victim in a third-world country, but I have less control than someone who has more money than I'll ever see in my life.
And when people are being unfair to one another, yeah, that's part of what is meant by "life is unfair." Really, at this point it's arguing semantics. I am honeslt an optimist and think that everything ultimately works out for the best, but I do know that things happen outside of our control that can screw us over. That is what is meant by "life is unfair" and I honestly don't understand why you care so much about this.
"I think the cover is trying to poke fun at the cover for the Black Canary: Wedding Planner comic, which in itself is a comic you're probably going to get to."
Considering they didn't get married until several years after this comic was published, somehow I doubt that. ^^;
I think I've mentioned it already but it seems like you are getting way too angry and not having any fun anymore. MST3K never explained why the movie was bad, they just made fun of it for being bad. It's been a while since I've watched any but I'm sure if they did get mad it would still be in a funny way. With you, it just seems like you're about to burst a blood vessel.
I understand you have to explain some things to viewers (like myself) who don't really read comic books so that they can understand better why a comic's supposed to be bad, but remember the old adage "A joke isn't funny if you have to explain it." Try going more for sarcasm, snark, irony, and general humor more than anger and explaining to me why I should hate this comic.
I just don't like watching this show anymore lately because you are nothing but angry. You also list things off too often, "firstly, [blah blah blah] secondly, [blah blah blah]" or "one: [explanation] 2: [explanation] 3:[etc]" You are expending too much energy trying to CONVINCE me the comic is bad more than making fun of the comic. If the comic is on your show, I KNOW it's bad. So don't waste your time telling me something I know and just lampoon it.
I'm afraid I have to agree with June on this one, m'man. I really don't want you to take it the wrong way (mostly because I'm petrified of being the target of your wrath), but I'm of the opinion that just yelling about the comic isn't really funny. In fact, it kind of brings us down. It's a lot funnier when you just mock the comic, rather than taking it apart and deconstructing it. That also has its place, but IMO, should be used sparingly.
Eh, do what you like. I'm a fan, and I'll still be showing up every monday whatever you decide. Just something to chew on, is all.
Actually ngrey651 I think you're using my examples without understanding my point: I was using the examples of 'Slavery, homophobia, spousal abuse/rape, female genital mutilation' specifically to explain why I DON'T use hard definitions of good and evil. All of those things either were or still are considered good by a majority of people in some part of the world. How can we say that their opinions on good and evil are less correct than our own? Therefore I don't have hard definitions of good and evil. Instead I go by what appears to be most convenient and efficient in the long run.
I consider slavery bad because it creates conditions that could lead to class/race violence, is not as economically productive as industry, means that a percentage of the population is not being educated and not contributing to the society, the impact of slavery on the slave families is very disruptive and leads to long term social disparities which make my world less beneficial than it could be.
I consider spousal abuse and marital rape bad because it creates bad conditions in the home, means that the victim is not productive, badly affects any relatives or friends around, discourages the victim from helping others, and ultimately could decrease the status of women (who are usually though not always the victims) in society leading to even more problems.
I consider homophobia to be bad because it attacks a social minority who are just as capable as heterosexuals of carrying out all their social duties for no scientifically justifiable reason. I could go on, but most of my points are the same as the ones made above.
The above problems also apply for female genital mutilation with the added problem of the pain inflicted on the girl as well as the poor medical standards which could lead to the girl contracting a dangerous disease.
My way of thinking might be considered selfish, but I consider it better than trying to explain why 'good' leaders from decades ago had 'evil' opinions or why current opinions on 'good' and 'evil' will be outdated in just a century. With this method I simply argue for efficiency and social stability, which tends to lead towards what people seem to consider 'good'.
Is it sad that this debate about the fairness of life is the most intellegent thing to come out of Marville (albiat tangentilly)?
As for my opinion, I don't really think of it as fair or unfair, I just deal with everything one thing at a time. But then agien, I'm pritty far removed from reality. Right now, my biggest probles are finals, getting summer classes lined up, and whatto do about the crossover with Blue Beetle and the New Gaurdians. I don't have anything really to complain about. Heck, I just got into an honor society.
“You say environment and people are things we have control over. No, SOME people have control over it. If they are poor, or are suffering, or have to endure other individuals because they are unable to locate another location or other people who could be better for them, then they have no control over it. I have more control over my circumstance than, say, an AIDS victim in a third-world country, but I have less control than someone who has more money than I'll ever see in my life.” So the “environmental circumstances” thing for you could be seen as unfair to a degree, but in comparison to another’s circumstances, it’s a LOT more fair. But then we’d just be arguing over degrees of fairness, and we could go back and forth for hours on that, because we’d have to compare exactly where people live, what disasters are specific to that area or what sort of wildlife’s in that area that might end up attacking you or the local economy, etc, etc…
"And when people are being unfair to one another, yeah, that's part of what is meant by "life is unfair." Really, at this point it's arguing semantics. I am honesly an optimist and think that everything ultimately works out for the best, but I do know that things happen outside of our control that can screw us over. That is what is meant by "life is unfair" and I honestly don't understand why you care so much about this.”
I myself am an “optimist/idealist”. But I’m also…how am I gonna put this…I am REEEEAAALLY tired of all this “the world is so awful and everything is going down the crapper” crud I keep seeing in the internet, getting talked about in editorials on the current state of affairs, and which is even creeping into popular culture. The minute things go a BIT bad for stuff like the economy, people start saying how much life sucks and how utterly unfair things are. It makes me think back to an old Bloom County cartoon in which Opus is talking to Milo about how terrifying life is for the person living in the 70’s. He says "It sure is some scary times we live in!"
Milo’s response is short and to the point. “Yeah! The Black Death! Tornadoes! Man-eating bears! Trying to make fire whilst avoiding saber-toothed tigers! Psychologically, it musta been a PICNIC!”
What I’m trying to say is that I keep seeing this…this mindset, this persistent thought that life is just SOOO awful, when really, it’s not. Not usually. It just gets inconvenient for the MOST part, and if the worst part of your day is that you forgot to record a DVR event or you left your keys or something at home, yeah, it’s ANNOYING, but compared to the sort of things people had to put up with a mere 20, 30 years ago…it just seems there’s this cynical, pessimistic attitude that people keep falling back on and I really think it does more damage to people and culture than it should. It goes back to my earlier point: that life is SOMETIMES unfair, and even then, when we look back on the past and how circumstances were back then, in comparison…our ass is in ice cream. And I just get so sad and angry when I see people constantly making these statements on how “everything sucks now” or “life is crap wherever I look”, kind of like how Stan came off in that South Park episode where he LITERALLY saw everything as crap. It feels like the condition known as “being a cynical asshole” is kind of…socially acceptable, and that REALLY gets under my skin.
I guess it kinda sounds stupid to complain about how much people complain these days over things that, to me, aren't really worth whining about.
"I guess it kinda sounds stupid to complain about how much people complain these days over things that, to me, aren't really worth whining about."
...I don't think we're quite on the same page. I was arguing the exact same thing a few weeks ago on a message board forum where people were depressingly talking about how the world has gone down the crapper and all life as we know it will soon be coming to an end.
Life is better now than it has ever been for a lot of people. I'm just arguing that life is unfair, or rather that life isn't fair and there should probably be a distinction between "unfair" and "not fair." Unfair assumes it's always sucky every single time, whereas "not fair" suggests that it SHOULD be fair, but it isn't always.
However, it's easier to say "life is unfair" than it is to say "life is not fair but it should be," my problem that started this whole discussion between us was Superman was doing a crappy job trying to comfort a woman who was contemplating Superman, and trying to tell her "yeah, life sucks, whatcha gonna do?" is a bad approach to it.
Or, if we DO take the route of "life is unfair," I can argue that yes, all life is unfair because it ultimately results in death and if you don't ascribe to any belief system that suggests another life, than yeah, the end result is that we work so hard in life but nothing is actually achieved because ultimately we all die and that is unfair, or that other people who don't deserve life live longer than others.
However, that's a very pessimistic way of looking at it, so I prefer not to.
Okay, that makes more sense, then, Lewis...though then again, this makes me think back to something C.S Lewis said, that simply by having this idea that "life is unfair", we then have it in our minds a standard that we hold life to, and this acknowledgment of that standard points towards the existence of a "higher law". In acknowledging that much of the world doesn't make sense, we realize that ultimately it does. A person born blind wouldn't have any idea what a straight line was, y'know? But then we go into debating God and that'd open up a whole other can of worms. (Not that you'd get a debate with me, I'm Catholic and proud of it)
There is really one thing thing about this review I think you might have overlooked and which could have been a bit more addressed, and that's the spiel Spike Lee (I cannot BELIEVE how stupid that bit from Marville was) tries to deliver on how black people turn to crime. And the implication the Kingpin says in this comic seems to be that most crime is caused by black people. Not that we ever see a lot OF black people in the comic, which in itself kinda undercuts the point...
In 2010, 69.4 percent of all individuals arrested were white, 28.0 percent were black, and 2.6 percent were of other races. Of all juveniles (individuals under the age of 18) arrested in 2010 in the Nation, 66.3 percent were white, 31.1 percent were black, and 2.6 percent were of other races. In fact, White individuals were arrested more often for violent crimes than individuals of any other race, accounting for 59.3 percent of those arrests.
I was REALLY tempted to TRY and give Jemas SOME credit for trying to bring attention to the disenfranchisement of African Americans, but even looking at crime statistics this still comes off as a crock and it just makes his posturing look not merely racist, but lazy. I found all this out in ten minutes using Google. He couldn't check the FBI website to do the same? The idea that black people commit most crime in America is a DISGUSTINGLY racist statement.
Then again, he does this a lot in the series "Marville". The story will try to bring up important topics like God, the meaning of life, how the universe works, and at first you want to give it the benefit of the doubt for TRYING to talk about this kind of subject matter, but then you remember that this is the same comic showing off almost utterly naked women on the front page. Even when the comic tries to be deep and serious, it just comes off as not knowing what the hell it's talking about, and even hypocritical.
I'm really sorry for going off on you, Lewis. It was a knee-jerk reaction but you deserve a lot better than that, and certainly the benefit of the doubt.
"I'm really sorry for going off on you, Lewis. It was a knee-jerk reaction but you deserve a lot better than that, and certainly the benefit of the doubt."
Perfectly okay. ^_^ And you've pretty much summed up the problems of Marville with your post, and that's part of why the comic utterly fails when it gets to the later issues - that it suddenly decides that instead of being a juvenile humor book that it has IMPORTANT! things to say about how the world works and it's just utterly insulting. And stupid.
"Time travel DOES give people super powers. If you are the Samaritan from Astro City!"
I was thinking the same thing, but I refused to point it out because that would mean mentioning Astro City and Marville in the same sentence.
The only way to turn this around is GO READ ASTRO CITY! It's an AWESOME comic that is the complete opposite of this comic! Most importantly, it doesn't SUCK!
Dear lord - there're seven issues of this?? I missed that tidbit in the first Marville review...
I'm astonished someone somewhere paid money for these eldritch abominations. Every page has something cringe-worthy or facepalm-inspiring...and they get worse from here? You're a brave man, Linkara *salutes*
" The only way to turn this around is GO READ ASTRO CITY! It's an AWESOME comic that is the complete opposite of this comic! Most importantly, it doesn't SUCK!"
"The complete opposite of this comic" means "it doesn't suck." Therefore, you just repeated yourself by saying that it's the complete opposite of this comic because it doesn't suck. And I just repeated what you just repeated.
I'll be dreading any possible reviews of this dreadful comic book series. Marville is made out of Ink and Paper fail . The only good things about this review are your jokes and the Cinema Snob's Cameo.
Can't believe there exists a comic s stupid and badly written I still can't believe it exists even though I've seen the proof. Hpw can there be something so stupid it actually starts to make the Ultimate Warrior make sense?
...Wait a minute, could it be possible after reading all 7 issues of Marville perhaps then the Ultimate Warrior's writings and speech will come out normal?
I know comics are primarily written for an American audience, but Peter David is known in France and has been since the 90s. His Hulk, X-Factor (both versions) and Captain Marvel runs have been published there. I recognised his name before I had the Internet to know who's who in the Comic books industry.
Bill Jemas ? Apart from Troubles and Namor, none of his work has been published in France...
You know, i'm beginning to think this thing was one big publicity stunt. It's like the comic was specifically created to look bad in comparison to the Captain Marvel series and drive viewers towards reading that. The competition seems to be well known and now Marville itself has minor references being made to it.
Does anyone know why it is called Marville anyway, it's not the name of the hero or the location of the city, so why is it called that?
Okay, now that I've finished reading this bizarrely awful comic series, I can't help but wonder what happened with "Epic Comics."
Also, I'm still fuming over how Ted Turner was suddenly able to send Al the time machine when that problem was the EXACT REASON THEY GAVE AT THE END OF THE LAST ISSUE for why Al couldn't go back to the year 5002! The problem was, and I quote: "He's there, and the time machine is here." But then, at the end of the next issue, "NOPE TURNS OUT WE CAN SEND THE TIME MACHINE BACK LOL." Ugh. And it ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THERE.
And you said the series was TECHNICALLY seven issues... I'd argue that it's technically still six, and that issue six doesn't count. Why? Well, I'd describe issue six, but just thinking about it made blood shoot out of my nose. Plus the scans I downloaded didn't include the "seventh" issue, so I don't know what the deal is there.
Though, if it were up to me, NONE of the issues would count and they would also be on fire.
And after reading all that, entering in the two "prove you're not a robot" words to submit this comment is making me feel like I'm having a stroke. When and why did those things stop asking for ACTUAL words?
"And you said the series was TECHNICALLY seven issues... I'd argue that it's technically still six, and that issue six doesn't count. Why? Well, I'd describe issue six, but just thinking about it made blood shoot out of my nose. Plus the scans I downloaded didn't include the "seventh" issue, so I don't know what the deal is there."
Well, six is bad because it's just a recap and then the story getting rejected, as if we're supposed to feel BAD about it being rejected. Seven is worse because it's the submission guidelines for a comic line... in issue seven of ANOTHER SERIES. Who the hell was going to know it was being printed there? And why even bother printing submission guidelines in MARVILLE of all places?
"Comparing Stan Lee to Shakespeare is surprisingly apt as both created media for mass consumption that was considered low brow and looked down on in their heyday despite being massively popular"
Umm ok except that Shakespeare's works were critically acclaimed masterpieces, many of which were commissioned by the English Monarchy. So yeah.
Honestly I haven't read the comic itself but nothing Linkara pointed out is that bad except the misleading cover.
It's a comedy, and Linkara should be aware of what a running joke is, they created a running joke with the typecast thing. And they were nice enough to use marvel instead of DC for the second issue showing that its all in good fun as oppose to hating DC.
I wouldn't buy it but it doesn't seem much different than the old What The ?! comics.
Also comparing a no name comic to Captain America is misleading. Established names tend to sell better unless you can sell the creator names or can build up an audience, or hype.
Ugh... dude, after all the work you did on the Power Rangers SPD reviews, and watching you struggle to actually review this piece of , I would suggest you take a vacation... I hear KO-35 is pretty this time of the millenium. Anyway, to put this into context, this comic series was so forgettable, I actually had to go back and... REWATCH THE FIRST REVIEW JUST SO I'D UNDERSTAND WTF IS GOING ON... *takes a breath* I cannot believe that this could get any worse, but like you, I needed a break, well actually several, before I could get through this. I do applaud your resolve... either that, or you're a glutton for punishment. So what can I say about this comic book that hasn't already been said? Not much... the jokes are lame, the characters are lamer, the "recognizable" characters and lamer still, and the stuff that looked like it came out of a really bad porno? Nothing a nice hot shower could cure, but Yikes! Anyway, I know there are some who will hate me for saying this, though I'll be damned if I know why, but PLEASE don't review any more of this series any time soon. I'm begging you Linkara, I fear that I may have to gnaw off one of my own legs to survive if you do.
"You know, i'm beginning to think this thing was one big publicity stunt. It's like the comic was specifically created to look bad in comparison to the Captain Marvel series and drive viewers towards reading that."
That would make this comic even worse if it's intentionnaly bad. This was commercialy released. It was sold to people who paid actual money to purchase a comic, whatever its quality is.
Getting them to buy a secret advertising for another series or a 5/6/7 issues-long inside joke would be a scam of the worst kind.
Actually on the earning $230k a week thing off 6% interest, the comic is about right. The actual formula is $200,000,000*((1.06^1/52)-1) which works out at $224,236.80 to the nearest cent.
I know I'm anal. But that's the job I've lined myself up for.
I think Ebert's still bitter from all the fan backlash for his negative review of Revenge of the Fallen... which I happen to agree with. That movie sucks.
I've seen it twice and don't get it. Did the writer of the comic like Rush Limbaugh, dislike him? He talks about how Rush has fans, then the fart scene which I only imagine is satire that "People guy everything that comes out of him as genius." but then he... saves the day?
Oh, I get it now, the comic hates Rush, the writer of the comic must have known we all hated Al by now. what is the worst thing for Rush to do, Save Al!
What the hell are these comics? And it just occured me that X-Factor Investigation (created by Peter David in 2006) is one of the best montlhy comics EVER made and it's full of real-world referals. How ironically do you think that seems
And I would like like to point out that Lucy's whore costume is quite simillar to the one that Sara Pezzini wore in the 1st issue of Witchblade, and she wore that to arrest some drugdealers? Maybe that was a reference? Or just coincidence?
This is probabLy a very nerdy thing to say, but "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely", which Mickey attributes to Shakespeare, isn't by Shakespeare at all. It comes from a British historian Lord John Acton.
Yes, I know I'm nitpicking, but how could you screw this up? Did Jemas have no Internet when he wrote this? Double-checking a quotation is not that hard to do.
Speaking of Greg Horn, I can suggest his first comic book work for the show: Femforce #19, published by AC Comics in March 1989:
It is ironic that an artist known for cheescake would have his first work published in a comic series known for cheesecake: The cover and splash page feature bondage with serpents, some visible nipples (Thankfully, there is no nudity in this comic), one of the heroines strips down to her underwear to save another heroine, some ass shots (including some from the male guest stars), inconsistencies with the characters' costumes, and two characters talk about men.
I know there's no reason to try and make sense of this comic but isn't Rush for rich people? Why did he beat up Bats, Iron Man and Black Panther? Some moments it seems like this comic is being satirical of one thing and then backs it up the next moment. I'm confused :(
"Call it sad if you want, but I looked at the math problem. If he has $200 million in a bank account with 6% annual interest, that would be $12 million/year in annual interest, or about $230,000/week.
If he gave out 300 hundred-dollar bills per week, he would have $200,000 left over."
Actually the math in the comic is (mostly) right. 6% interest of 200 million is $12 million. That leaves $230,769.23(rounded to cents) per week. I assume that the 300 one-hundred dollar bills are per day so (300*100)* 5 = $150,000. 230,769.23 - $150,000 = $80,769.23 left for the weekend.
"I know there's no reason to try and make sense of this comic but isn't Rush for rich people? Why did he beat up Bats, Iron Man and Black Panther? Some moments it seems like this comic is being satirical of one thing and then backs it up the next moment. I'm confused :( "
Yeah, that's precisely the problem. Sometimes it makes points that I might want to make about rich "hero" characters who don't have anything better to do than just beat people up, which solves less than handing them money. Maybe I'd use similar ideas, like the dominatrix metaphor, but I'd do them right. This comic seems to aim for something close to right, but misses, because the author can't seem to think straight.
Mistake I CANNOT BELIEVE no one's pointed out: Marville #1 plain + Marville #1 foil cover sold a combined total of 53,432 units. Assuming a maximum of 10% of customers bought both, that's still 48,808 people to a credited 56,819. Unless Captain Marvel #1 has a variant cover that also bolsters it's count, that is NOT "more than double." Probably should be something to at least be mentioned in the next screw-ups video, because WHOO! That is a BIG ONE.
126 comments:
Comparing Stan Lee to Shakespeare is surprisingly apt as both created media for mass consumption that was considered low brow and looked down on in their heyday despite being massively popular.
Also I am pretty sure the guy in the taxi was supposed to be Judd Hirsch because of the hair and the cop is Hal Linden for the same reason
Just for your reviews this comic seems really funny and I might look into it because of you, thank. Thank you Mr. Lovhaug for exposing us to such an interesting series
...I didn't even read the full issue and my brain's crying in the shower. Ugh.
On another note, how many MST3K DVD's are there in America and is the movie still in print? Only asking since I'll get around to importing them one day, since we only have three officially released, and I don't think we ever got the movie.
; ^; Poor, poor Linkara...
You know, hearing about Marville and trying to study for finals made me feel stupid. I kid you not.
I feel like this is just filled with inside jokes that no one except the people in the authors inner circle of friends will get. I mean...Batman, Iron Man, and Black Panther get defeated by RL with a golden microphone? That's like out of some random Ad Libs book.
Great review though Linkara! Can't wait for PSA Hell month!
P.S. Seriously though, how hard is it to get through an issue of this series? It looks really, really painful. x _____ x
P.P.S I wanna watch MST3K Manos- The Hands of Fate now. XD
...What the *&#%ing hell was that?!
Dear God, that comic is stupid. When the gratuitous cheesecake cover art is the smartest thing about a comic... that isn't good. Also, if the girl on the cover is supposed to be Mickey, why is her hair not only red instead of purple, but much longer then in the comic.
Speaking of Mickey, why is she in this story? Don't get me wrong, she's the closest thing Marville has to a likable character, but that's because she seems to exist to talk about how damn stupid Al is.
Also, Rush Limbaugh farting and perverted process of law jokes... What kind of idiocy is this?!
rush limbaugh farting... what a highlight for a comic.
great review though.
I did feel that the Punisher was the only person in character in this. After all, all he does is look for any reason to shoot things. (Punisher and Eminem)
But yeah, this was 'fun'. So when you get to the next issue, I hope you have some moral support ready.
Oh man, I was GOING to say that this comic had to be someone's bad fan fiction. But then I realized that would give bad fan fiction a bad name!!!!!
By the time you get through this series, Chester A Bum will want to send you to alcohol rehab.
PS - hope you enjoy the Star Trek review I tweeted you.
"Just for your reviews this comic seems really funny and I might look into it because of you, thank. Thank you Mr. Lovhaug for exposing us to such an interesting series"
...You weren't paying attention to the review at all, were you? The comic wasn't funny, and it sure as heck isn't interesting. My advice: avoid it.
One minor nitpick with the review. You said that up to the dislocated head thing, the comic had been playing physics pretty straight. But the first issue had people chopping meteors in half with their bare hands... meteors that supposedly were going to destroy the planet if they weren't stopped. Now they didn't destroy the planet, but I do think I remember them managing to at least blow up some buildings, and regardless, normal people doing tomahawk chops to break up flaming meteors is absurd.
So I'd say that the head thing shouldn't have been as surprising to you as it was.
But regardless of that minor nitpick, the comic is still really stupid. Some things manage to pull of seemingly random craziness and make it funny, but this is just truly random stupidity. A lot of the references and parodies, if you can even call them that, seem rather mean spirited as well, and its attempts to inject actual messages into the comic are pathetic and would be out of place in this style of comic (or the style of comic I think this was trying to be, it fails so it doesn't really have a style I can think of) even if the comic was good.
Looking at the back cover of the comic makes me crave for some Oreo O's!
Also to The Blue and the Gold, Shout Factory is the best place to find MST3K DVDs. The only other company that had released episodes of the show on DVD is Rhino, which is to be avoided. Just go to the Shout Factory website and you'll find a ton of them. I hope that helps.
Y'know, the sad thing is, there are a couple of good jokes buried deep in here. The main one that strikes me as useable is a farcical superhero who builds a whole career out of accidentally capturing the same minor crook over and over again.
Does Marville make Countdown better by comparison? More importantly, which issue has them meeting God?
Thank God this is over and now we can get to PSA Hell Month.
You forgot to say what the song during your freak-out (for lack of a better term) was during the credits.
Also, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: April is now over, and yet there's been no new developments in your storyline. When is it actually going to start?
Anonymous's observation about how Shakespeare and Stan Lee are similar brings up a very good point... and therefore has absolutely nothing to do with the thought process that went into the joke.
On an unrelated note, that comic make my brain try to strangle me to stop the stupidity from bombarding it.
I notice you didn't mention how there are no games for the not!PS2. Of course why expect logic from Marville?
How come we haven't seen any big storyline stuff when you promised there would be?
To Bill Jemas, Peter David helped the public to see how awesome Aquaman is. He worked on the Incredible Hulk, Young Justice, Supergirl, and Star Trek novels and comics. You got fired from Marvel for being a jackass. Go to Hell.
Flatulence. The comedy of middle schoolers.
Spike Lee is the King Pin... Excuse me. (Walks away and wails impotently)
THIS COMIC IS STUPID! Bill Jemas is a hack and the Smallville comic actually outsold this. I am going to watch Smallville, because despite all the faults it had, it was still entertaining, written well at times, and was better than this garbage. Also, trying to cover your ass with the "Marvel is stupid" line, Bill Jemas?
Great review Linkara probably one of your best. I was just as shocked as you were when you were reading it (I really like it when we have similar reactions but your comes with really funny jokes)
When it comes to being confused by comics nothing confuses me more than Kang the Conquer and Giant Sized Avengers #3 (I'm pretty sure it's that one) where it was revealed that Kang was eventually going to become Immortus. I mean he's Rama-Tut, Iron Lad, Kang and Immortus all at various points in his life and we never see him change from one to the other. Not to mention I don't understand why he always goes back to the 21st century to fight the Avengers and doesn't just kill them with they are babies or something.
I noticed that your videos are still formatted like they usually are. Sage, Phelous and a few other critics have it on what I think is quick-time maybe it's just them updating their software.
I think this is the angriest you've every gotten at a comic. And it was deserved. Honestly do not want you to continue this series. Care about you too much.
My God, this series is seriously gunning for the title of worst comic you've ever reviewed, Lewis. There's not enough alcohol in the world.
Can you really call something "satire" if it's as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face? And hell, I'm not even sure WHAT it was supposed to be poking fun at. Like you said, at the start it seems to be slamming Rush Limbaugh, but then shows up and takes down the asshole rich superheroes. The whole arrest sequence is an obvious knock on the "revolving door" justice system, and Spike Lee...I dunno. I just don't know.
And what, was that brief prison scene supposed to be a "haw haw lawl prison rape" joke?
I kind of wonder if "Big Belly Beer" wasn't meant to be another jab at DC, since Big Belly Burger is their universe's big fast food chain, standing in for McDonald's and the like due to legal reasons.
And really, I get the impression that including MST3K amongst all that crap on the cover was a vain attempt to give it a very thin veneer of intelligence. Which obviously failed.
This comic is like what Family Guy would be if you took out its good aspects and exaggerated its bad; a hyperactive political screed that couldn't tell a decent joke to save its life, and lost its point somewhere along the line because it was too busy making random, pointless, stupid pop culture references.
Would we REALLY have gotten an entire series' worth of this abomination if it had beaten Peter David's Captain Marvel? Would Marvel EIC really have such stunningly bad decision-making to approve something this worthless and vile?
PS, if you had somehow gotten Peter David to cameo and do a Chester A. Bum impression, I would have died laughing and then sent you an Internets.
The fact that it keeps getting worse is kind of amazing in its own right.
I have to say that "you're from the future" is one of your best deliveries. Cracked me up!
Man, this was a horrible and nonsensical comic. Was Jemas trying to outdo Seltzer and Friedberg before they became "famous?"
Oh, and did anyone catch the "Jaws" dvd on the cover?
Okay, about the cover...
Why would you bring VHS tapes and a PS2? It makes little sense. Sure, the PS2 is a gaming machine, but in the early days it was essentially a cheap DVD player, and that aspect helped make it one of the most successful systems ever(or at the very least, was a factor in the Dreamcast's demise).
@ The Blue And The Gold- They sell them in volumes now, four movies to a boxed set on DVD. Not sure which ones they have out or not, though, especially since there was a changeover in distribution a while back. Your best bet's to check out Amazon or a fansite or something.
More on topic, WOW. There's a certain point where you start wondering if there was an editor here, and if so, how drunk were they the day they approved some of this. It's an incoherent mess.
Looking at the timeline of things, I feel like the whole "Spike Lee is the Kingpin" 'joke' is supposed to be a knock on Ultimate-universe Nick Fury. I looked that up to ease the pain from being exposed to Marville.
obviously done for paradoy purposes, every REAL fan knows that the altrate title for the cinema snob movie is zombi 10:violent shit 4: Pierre Kirby has risen from the grave.
i could tell from the cover this was gonna be a bad one
Call it sad if you want, but I looked at the math problem. If he has $200 million in a bank account with 6% annual interest, that would be $12 million/year in annual interest, or about $230,000/week.
If he gave out 300 hundred-dollar bills per week, he would have $200,000 left over.
See, the thing is, I really don't mind a Cheesecake cover. IF it's trying to rope people into something GOOD (Xena, Buffy etc.) THIS comic however just make a cheap buck with NOTHING in return.
Spike Lee is the Kingpin, really? I need to go boil my brain
I heard there is a beer called "terrible beer". Chances are it's from the old meaning of terrible (powerful I believe) but there is some oddly named booze out there.
Black Panther, what have they done to you? As if all the harm from his own comic wasn't enough.
Anyway my point from last time still stands. This fails because it isn't an enjoyable parody nor is it a strong deconstruction. It's the comic equivalent of someone charging you money to get punched in the face and shouting 'LAUGH! See, it's funny! LAUGH YOU IDIOT LAUGH!' before spiraling into a rant on why new needles are a conspiracy to make us all mole-people.
I am looking forward so much to the PSA hell month.
Also, loved the review. I don't really have anything against the cover since it at least somewhat represents the content, what with a character randomly being skimpy. Which actually makes me wonder, why not use a scene from the book with her in the weird hooker outfit instead?
P.S.: Happy Dutch Queen's day.
I hate this book. And I've never read it. I hate it not just because it's bad but because it's one of those books that makes Marvel look bad. It's bad enough I have to hear people complain about Marvel yearly 3 to 4 event comics or someone saying "they have no dignity" such as Mar-vell coming back from the dead recently (again) or The events of OMD, or Greg Goddamn Land still doing Uncanny X-men. But now anytime I try to defend Marvel someone will bring this up as the worst comic ever made & That Marvel is no good
... I...
... I...
I downloaded scans of this comic.
I'm starting the third issue.
You're in for some serious crap next time.
As for this issue? WOW was that police station scene stupid. Like... wow. I could have said that some of the jokes you seemed to really be angry at weren't that bad, but after THAT scene? I no longer care. It's just that unfunny.
Looking forward to PSA Hell month!
Oh, my bad. I hadn't seen your tweet about the beginning of the storyline being moved to May. I apologize for the comment from earlier.
Oh my Cthulhu that was terrible! I was willing to give this comic the benefit of the doubt and was actually thinking of getting the whole mini-series off eBay but after this no way in HELL!
I know what some of the references were to but I still didn't get the jokes they were trying to make!
This makes all those parody movies like Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie look like poetry by comparison!
So why did Marvel even allow this threw if it demeans its own properties like Iron Man and Black Panther? 2 characters that are some the most liked and well written for the company!
I think the only reason the 1st issue sold so well was that Smallville was really REALLY popular at the time and the cover being as misleading as they are lead some to think this book was actually like Marvel's own teen drama about a superhero but in comic form not a half-assed Zuckerberg knockoff!
Please tell me no one tried make this out to be set in the real mainstream universe like having Spider-Man or Punisher reference meeting Spike Lee or Iron Man and Black Panther reference Rush!
Wow prison rape jokes... that's more disturbing than funny...
Well, great review as always Link, but this comic was so confusing and WTFish I think it'll effect people's enjoyment of it... think the Cinema Snob's Nukie review! That movie was so screwed up it actually made it hard to watch the review of it!
So the Snob movie was going to be called SMUT! I like it!
PS: you misspelled "you" in your credits! On the 1st paragraph you wrote at some point you put "uou" instead of "you"! Just thought I'd mention that! XD
Where did this comic come from? I'd froth at the mouth about it but there is nothing to be said. This is garbage, pure garbage. The worst part was the "ironic" reveal of Spike Lee as the Kingpin. That ranged from dumb to offensive. Now the concept of irony is sullied forever thanks to this comic.
On what site did you get the sales data? I'm curious as to how Marville fared (especially in comparison to its competition in the "contest") as it went along.
Anonymous:
"the cop is Hal Linden for the same reason"
Seconding that. But only because he was the only white character with a moustache, not because that drawing actually looks even remotely like him.
Sadly, I think Lucy's prostitute suit was less revealing than whatever that is Mikey's wearing...
I don't know about it being a movie title, but there IS a song called "Smut" by 70s Australian band Skyhooks. Proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE7kY6uQHAA
Oh, social and political satire from the profoundly stupid is painful, isn't it?
Anyway, yes, the only main character on Barney Miller with that type of mustache was the title character, played by Hal Linden; Captain Barney Miller. The show was set in a detective squad room, and most of the main characters almost always wore plainclothes. Uniformed officers weren't an uncommon sight, but Miller was not one of them.
"How come we haven't seen any big storyline stuff when you promised there would be?"
And I announced on Twitter that due to some stuff beyond my control, the beginning of the storyline is being pushed into May. When in May I can't say because it involves the new villain's costume and the Prop Lady is also working on another project at the same time that's making things difficult. When that's done, we'll have a lot of storyline stuff occur.
"I noticed that your videos are still formatted like they usually are. Sage, Phelous and a few other critics have it on what I think is quick-time maybe it's just them updating their software."
*Shrugs* Everyone else likes Quicktime. I like WMVs.
So...what the heck did I just watch? Seriously, Marville is just mind-warping and it just keeps getting worse. At the rate it's going, it may end up starting to destroy realities like Warrior did.
Besides, as a welfare worker, I know that randomly giving money out is not going to solve any problems in the world. If you have a hundred dollars, what will you do with it? Save it? Blow it? Use it on wine and women or for something that you actually need like some sort of prescription or illegal drugs? Besides, in a way both Batman and Iron Man inherited money but use it in constructive manners even with their own wealth and priveledge. Batman uses all of his resources in crime fighting; Iron Man uses all his to try and save his own life and advance tech even with the problems of it causing further problems down the line like in the Armor Wars. And Black Panther's 'wealth' isn't even really wealth: he's a king of a nation that is advanced in wealth and tech because of being lucky enough to be on top of Vibranium and having the means and knowledge to use it to help themselves and others. He's more a noble diplomat than a rich guy with time on his hands, that T'challa.
And yeah, time travel does weird things like turning people into balls of light...at this point I rather take Sam as our protagonist, even if he isn't Tetsu.
Math works, btw, assuming annual accumulation.
Though technically he hasn't gotten any saved money back yet, so he is actively decreasing the principle.
"On what site did you get the sales data? I'm curious as to how Marville fared (especially in comparison to its competition in the "contest") as it went along."
I tend to get my sales data from Comichron.com, which has sales data going back at least the last decade or so.
There are so many ways that I could say "WTFIWWY?" Why put a comic cover featuring a hot babe if you're not even going to put her in the comic? Were you this desperate to get comic readers and win the bet? Everything was not funny. The jokes were not funny, Rush Limbaugh was not funny, the characters and whatever that shit was was not funny. I speak for every superhero and supervillain in the Marvel Universe when I say that this comic already sucks and will get even worse.
I got this feeling that you starting the show all drunk will be a recurring gag on Marville.
I cannot wait for PSA Hell month, especially after something so bad and horrible.
I feel like I've lost brain cells thanks to this comic. I'm surprised that I can even keep on typing, this was just godawful
Wait wait wait wait wait wait! You're telling us, that the next issues of Marville are actually WORSE, than this one? ....*Cries in a corner*
I'd like to say that the only thing good worth looking at in this comic was the Oreo o's advertisement on the back, God I miss that cereal
Anyway, Ladies and Gentleman: that comic is evidence of what would happen is Friedberg and Seltzer wrote comic books; Good luck with the next issues Linkara, hope you have a membership to Bevmo!, you'll need ALL the alcohol to get through this series.
Oh God my brain what the hell was that I don't even.
That somehow manages to fail as a satire just as much as badly as The Dark Knight Strikes Again.
The whole Peter David scene was just a mean-spirited jab, and while I haven't read any comics written by him, he had a hand in writing Spider-Man: Edge of Time, which I liked, and I listened to a Spider-Man Crawlspace podcast where he was the guest, so I'm inclined to side with him.
Really, the reason U-Decide was a stupid idea was because of what they decided to put in the competition. Captain Marvel? Sure. A random story that has no connection to the Marvel universe and is of a completely different genre, relying on T&A covers (I was hoping you'd bring up how that Taxi cover was a cover for issue #1)? Absolutely not. An Ultimate Universe story about an original character who's a blatant parody of Batman and has had little to no relevance to the entire line? Honestly, I would actually prefer THAT over Marville.
Oh well. Next month is PSA Hell Month, which I look forward to. It probably works as a great way to recover from this abomination.
Bill Jemas is one of Freidberg and Seltzer, I know it.
Also, when the comic said that Rush Limbaugh has a lot of fans, I'm surprised you didn't make a comment about how he recently lost a lot of advertisers due to being even more of an asshole than usual. I'd go into more detail, but just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
Apologies to the artist, but that doesn't look anything like Rush Limbaugh. Then again, even you reference the incredible similarities between the faces in this comic, so I'm going to go on a little rant.
There's very little I can't stand about comic art, but this is one of my pet peeves. I KNOW it's done on an incredibly tight, assembly-line-like schedule, forcing the artists to draw quickly, and therefor the artist has to learn to draw similar body shapes and facial structures to shave off time. I've been to school for comics, I know the routine, and I realize it's laborious and involved, but artists, when you're doing a book that seems like it's at least attempting to be topical and comedic (though obviously failing miserably at both), I would expect at least some identifiable features in your celebrity guest stars.
Rush Limbaugh's features aren't anywhere NEAR that tight and sculpted. Neither are Ted Turner's. It's like the artist didn't even bother to consult a photo of them.
I guess, at least in the case of this book, asking for effort in the art is an unfair request, because simply interpreting this comic's script for art is probably as torturous an endeavor as swallowing broken glass, but this isn't just a problem I've seen in this book, this is all over the place in comics.
Lewis, I have (and have read) the entire Marville run and... Oy. This is a comic series that just finds new ways of kicking your brain through your nuts. As much as I'd "hate" to see you torture yourself it'd be fun (for us) to see you review the remaining issues all in one shot through a series of videos. Maybe a "Marville" month or something. Can't wait for the bizarre issue with the dialogue typed over the artwork and not in balloons.
No I just thought maybe you guys weren't on blip anymore the first time I saw it.
I liked The Death of Jean Dewolff and I heard that Peter David's Hulk run is really good.
It shouldn't come as any surprise that two years after this comic Bill Jemas was fired by Marvel.
You know, this comic would be funny if it wasn't so insistent. It just goes 'Laugh- dammit!!!'
Oh yeah, it's badly-written too. That's probably the bigger point, I suppose.
Speaking of badly-written, why do so many stupid comics have to use my actual name? It's bad enough to get the blond kid from the Tandy Whiz Kids comic...but now this guy. Ugh.
I'm just going to change my name to a symbol to avoid being associated with Marville.
... There's more of this stupid...?
...
... Give me that bottle.
Fiery Little One.
Yeah, Marville #2, life is SOOOOO unfair for ALL black people EVERYWHERE. It's horribly, TERRIBLY unfa-oh, wait, NO, it isn't. I repeat my earlier point. If life WAS always, constantly unfair, we'd be living in a Final Destination movie. And for the record, the black guy in those movies is usually the only one who survives because he's the guy who runs the morgue, so...
No. No, I'm not letting that "life is unfair" thing go. Bullshit is bullshit no matter who says it, be it you, a bad Marvel comic, or a comic PERIOD like Dennis Leary. I admit that there are probably SOME bad cops out there and SOME unfair circumstances that people are forced into due to social class or the like and SOME poor people who take advantage of the system.
Emphasis on the word some. If it happened ALL the time and to pretty much everyone, life WOULD be unfair. Since it isn't, I repeat my earlier statement, Lewis...HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!
has it occurred to anyone that the whole thing could've just been a stunt to make Captain Marvel sell better? Bill Jemas was famous for trolling online fandom.
OK ... I get putting down characters from DC. It's silly and childish, but I get it. But why put down characters from your own company? That makes ZERO sense, and it's very obvious this wasn't good-natured satire.
Am I weird because I thought the panel with the guy talking with his head at his stomach was absolutely terrifying? I have no idea why, it was cartoony and silly, but that freaked me out.
Also Rush Limbaugh is weirdly better-looking in this comic than in real life ... generic art style I guess? And he has superpowers ... I just ... My brain broke. My brain is now officially broken. Goo goo ga ga.
"Emphasis on the word some. If it happened ALL the time and to pretty much everyone, life WOULD be unfair. Since it isn't, I repeat my earlier statement, Lewis...HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!"
Oh, for crying out loud... okay, you wanted a debate about this? Fine. I didn't feel like responding then, but since you're bringing this up...
You can have your opinion about how the universe works. However, you are attempting to establish that you are absolutely, unequivocably right about this, so here is my viewpoint.
Being a Christian, I believe that there is a God and subsequently that there is a Devil. Absolute good and absolute evil. Ultimately, "Fairness" comes down to the age-old question of "why do bad things happen to good people?" There are a multitude of answers to this, some satisfying to people but most of the time they are not. As a Christian, one assumes that God is loving and fair, and that ultimately we all get what we truly deserve. The problem is that until one reaches that point, there can be terrible suffering, unjust suffering at that. Abuse, oppression, and a multitude of other horrible things can happen to people who do not deserve it.
Even in western mythology there is an assumption of karmic justice to the world, that if we're good people, good things will happen in return and if we're bad people, bad things will happen in return. Unfortunately, the universe does not reflect that, since evil people can prosper greatly in life and good people can suffer terribly in life. If one assumes that there is ultimate divine justice in the universe, things do eventually work out, but it can be very small comfort.
HOWEVER, if one does NOT believe in these things, does not believe that there is an ultimate authority of good and an ultimate authority of evil, than the universe can even seem even MORE unfair. That same karmic justice can still apply even without a belief system. If you are good, good things SHOULD happen in response. If you are bad, bad things SHOULD happen in response.
Nothing in the world is the way it SHOULD be. THAT is what is meant by "unfair." I firmly believe in the existence of good and evil, and evil prospers far too often for my tastes to say that the world "just is." If YOU wish to believe that, that is fine. It's yours to believe in. But don't be attempting to come back two episodes later to get pissy with me for daring to say that bad things shouldn't happen to good people.
In re. to your comment on fairness and unfairness I recall a quote from somewhere (possibly Red Dwarf).
It went along the lines of this: I used to think that life was unfair. But then I wondered 'what if life was fair and all of us really were getting what we deserved?' I know am happy in the knowledge that life is unfair.
As an atheist I don't believe there really is any definite good or evil (and considering some of the definitions of good and evil going back in history I'm glad I don't*). I prefer to follow my self-preservation instincts and do what's most convenient, and often I find that actually what's most convenient is what other people consider 'good'. Things that might be currently considered 'unfair' such as the fewer educational and economic opportunities for African-Americans I consider bad because in the long run it is inconvenient for my country. A larger and better educated work force that included African-Americans would make my surroundings better and this would make my life better. I wish people would see how much improved their world would be if the entire population had better conditions. Unfortunately humans seem to be rather shortsighted when it isn't something personally involving them.
*Slavery, homophobia, spousal abuse/rape, female genital mutilation etc.
I was surprised you didn't go with a Sage joke/cameo after super violent gory anime, but the Brad cameo I could see why it might have come across as overkill.
I'm not sure what this here debatey-poo is about, but that won't keep me from taking bets!
Ngrey651! Lewis Lovhaug! Locked in a one-on-one battle TO THE DEATH. Carnage! Mayhem! MUTILATION! This Saturday, in the THUNDERDOME! BE THERE!
I must ask, how on earth did you read that and still be sane? REALLY?? I mean it could be worst but man that is pretty low on the pole already
There is a TPB of Marville.
There isn't a TPB of Hellstorm, one of the most wonderfully bizarre titles Marvel has ever put out.
But Marville? Hell yeah, let's collect that!
(Okay, it was probably put out while Jemas was still working at Marvel, but really?!)
Also, Brad has been making a lot of awesome cameos recently. He totally stole the Nostalgia Critic's Transformers review away from him.
I think I sense something of a flaw in how you're approaching this.
Life is two things. The first is a series of environmental circumstances. Even in that regard, people have more control now more than ever over how the environment around them works in terms of things like choosing jobs, schools, hell, we can prepare for storms and tornadoes and hurricanes in ways we never could before, and some people get out of things like that scott free. So even then life is being fair to some, and unfair to others, but not consistently one OR the other.
However the biggest thing life really is is this: people. People's reactions to each other, and people can control how they deal with each other and SHOULD be careful about how they deal with each other. If life was consistently unfair, then even as I write these words some jerks would be knocking at my house door, a 44 behind their backs, waiting to rob me blind. (Or if you wanted to go back to the "environment" thing, a tree would fall on my house) Since that isn't happening and doesn't happen to everyone, everywhere or all the time but SOMETIMES to SOME people, life can be OCCASIONALLY unfair.
It really all does go back to how people treat each other. This is primarily what our life experiences are made up of, and since most people treat each other just fine, then the burden of proof isn't really on God or the universe or any sort of cosmic whatever. That's not what he's meant to do. It's what WE'RE meant to do, and we're supposed to treat each other right. Says right there in every holy book,and if we screw up, that's on us, not any deity. Ain't like we misread the words.
Now again, if Life WAS always unfair in terms of, say "envrionmental circumstances", it'd look like a Final Destination movie where freakin' EEEEEVERYTHING is coming apart. Laser eye surgery would be killing people left and right! Nobody would ever get a tan and live! EVERY amusement park's roller coaster ride would end in a slaughter! Since it doesn't, well...
Also, I recognize there are ACTS which are unfair, but does that mean that, in the words of Doctor Who, the bad takes away from the good? One could make the argument that the general consensual idea hummanity has that things like Slavery, homophobia, spousal abuse/rape, female genital mutilation and the like are bad is an example of life being fairer than we think, because were it wasn't, those kinds of things would be accepted norms. Their existence in the world just means that again, some people are being unfair to others, whilst the rest say "this shouldn't be". So life is being about, oh, 75% fair, or 66% fair. Two out of three ain't bad, Mr. George. Look back in history, even. Back then those things were more accepted and that meant life WAS more unfair. But hey, if you look at the overall progress of humanity and how we treat each other and think about civil rights, within perhaps a century people will be LAUGHING at the idea of genital mutilation or workplace sexual discrimination the same way we now laugh at all those stupid, foolish people who thought slaves weren't human. You could argue life is far more fair now than it was a mere 30 years ago, it just isn't COMPLETELY fair.
But again, that primarily ties back to how people treat each other, and just because a situation isn't TOTALLY fair to you doesn't mean that it's just "unfair", it just means sometimes it is, in some ways it is, sometimes it isn't, in some WAYS it isn't. But hey, the good news is we're all working on it, right?
"But he's mostly known for drawing pin-ups, usually of female characters". Not that its a bad thing. :)
Lord knows I'd rather draw pin-ups for pay than my current job (especially after injuring my knee), but my art has a long way to go, before I get Greg Horn's Level. Ah well.. least I still draw better than Rob Liefield. :)
Oh... and one last thing. I'll say one thing that you wanted to say but can't since you don't curse on your show. Fuck Bill Jemas, Fuck him with giant, piloted industrial drill from Total Recall.
Honestly, I still thought "Cry for Justice" was worse. This was pretty bad, though.
I must say, the entire time I was fixated on the back of the comic...
I miss Oreo O's. Such a great cereal. :(
to be fair, the trial scene was pretty funny
I think the cover is trying to poke fun at the cover for the Black Canary: Wedding Planner comic, which in itself is a comic you're probably going to get to.
Since you are a fan of Peter David's Star Trek comics I was wondering if you have ever read "Who Killed Captain Kirk?"
If you haven't it is a fun trade paperback that can be picked up cheaply and part of the story involves the crew travelling through hell as presented in the Divine Comedy.
Oh no, if the series gets worse from this point on, and you decide to review the other Marville comics... don't die of alcohol poisoning man. We need you.
You mean to tell me that the reminaing issues are worse than this? I do not think that is physically possible.
Lookinf forward to PSA Hell month, though they might be bad, they will provide some needed recuperation from this, I am not even going to call it a comic
"But again, that primarily ties back to how people treat each other, and just because a situation isn't TOTALLY fair to you doesn't mean that it's just "unfair", it just means sometimes it is, in some ways it is, sometimes it isn't, in some WAYS it isn't. But hey, the good news is we're all working on it, right?"
I never said life was completely fair or completely unfair. We say "life is unfair" in general because it's assumed that it should ALWAYS be fair.
But then again, I'm not just talking about myself or people living in the same area I do. You say environment and people are things we have control over. No, SOME people have control over it. If they are poor, or are suffering, or have to endure other individuals because they are unable to locate another location or other people who could be better for them, then they have no control over it. I have more control over my circumstance than, say, an AIDS victim in a third-world country, but I have less control than someone who has more money than I'll ever see in my life.
And when people are being unfair to one another, yeah, that's part of what is meant by "life is unfair." Really, at this point it's arguing semantics. I am honeslt an optimist and think that everything ultimately works out for the best, but I do know that things happen outside of our control that can screw us over. That is what is meant by "life is unfair" and I honestly don't understand why you care so much about this.
"I think the cover is trying to poke fun at the cover for the Black Canary: Wedding Planner comic, which in itself is a comic you're probably going to get to."
Considering they didn't get married until several years after this comic was published, somehow I doubt that. ^^;
I think I've mentioned it already but it seems like you are getting way too angry and not having any fun anymore. MST3K never explained why the movie was bad, they just made fun of it for being bad. It's been a while since I've watched any but I'm sure if they did get mad it would still be in a funny way. With you, it just seems like you're about to burst a blood vessel.
I understand you have to explain some things to viewers (like myself) who don't really read comic books so that they can understand better why a comic's supposed to be bad, but remember the old adage "A joke isn't funny if you have to explain it." Try going more for sarcasm, snark, irony, and general humor more than anger and explaining to me why I should hate this comic.
I just don't like watching this show anymore lately because you are nothing but angry. You also list things off too often, "firstly, [blah blah blah] secondly, [blah blah blah]" or "one: [explanation] 2: [explanation] 3:[etc]" You are expending too much energy trying to CONVINCE me the comic is bad more than making fun of the comic. If the comic is on your show, I KNOW it's bad. So don't waste your time telling me something I know and just lampoon it.
I'm afraid I have to agree with June on this one, m'man. I really don't want you to take it the wrong way (mostly because I'm petrified of being the target of your wrath), but I'm of the opinion that just yelling about the comic isn't really funny. In fact, it kind of brings us down. It's a lot funnier when you just mock the comic, rather than taking it apart and deconstructing it. That also has its place, but IMO, should be used sparingly.
Eh, do what you like. I'm a fan, and I'll still be showing up every monday whatever you decide. Just something to chew on, is all.
Actually ngrey651 I think you're using my examples without understanding my point: I was using the examples of 'Slavery, homophobia, spousal abuse/rape, female genital mutilation' specifically to explain why I DON'T use hard definitions of good and evil. All of those things either were or still are considered good by a majority of people in some part of the world. How can we say that their opinions on good and evil are less correct than our own? Therefore I don't have hard definitions of good and evil. Instead I go by what appears to be most convenient and efficient in the long run.
I consider slavery bad because it creates conditions that could lead to class/race violence, is not as economically productive as industry, means that a percentage of the population is not being educated and not contributing to the society, the impact of slavery on the slave families is very disruptive and leads to long term social disparities which make my world less beneficial than it could be.
I consider spousal abuse and marital rape bad because it creates bad conditions in the home, means that the victim is not productive, badly affects any relatives or friends around, discourages the victim from helping others, and ultimately could decrease the status of women (who are usually though not always the victims) in society leading to even more problems.
I consider homophobia to be bad because it attacks a social minority who are just as capable as heterosexuals of carrying out all their social duties for no scientifically justifiable reason. I could go on, but most of my points are the same as the ones made above.
The above problems also apply for female genital mutilation with the added problem of the pain inflicted on the girl as well as the poor medical standards which could lead to the girl contracting a dangerous disease.
My way of thinking might be considered selfish, but I consider it better than trying to explain why 'good' leaders from decades ago had 'evil' opinions or why current opinions on 'good' and 'evil' will be outdated in just a century. With this method I simply argue for efficiency and social stability, which tends to lead towards what people seem to consider 'good'.
Is it sad that this debate about the fairness of life is the most intellegent thing to come out of Marville (albiat tangentilly)?
As for my opinion, I don't really think of it as fair or unfair, I just deal with everything one thing at a time. But then agien, I'm pritty far removed from reality. Right now, my biggest probles are finals, getting summer classes lined up, and whatto do about the crossover with Blue Beetle and the New Gaurdians. I don't have anything really to complain about. Heck, I just got into an honor society.
“You say environment and people are things we have control over. No, SOME people have control over it. If they are poor, or are suffering, or have to endure other individuals because they are unable to locate another location or other people who could be better for them, then they have no control over it. I have more control over my circumstance than, say, an AIDS victim in a third-world country, but I have less control than someone who has more money than I'll ever see in my life.” So the “environmental circumstances” thing for you could be seen as unfair to a degree, but in comparison to another’s circumstances, it’s a LOT more fair. But then we’d just be arguing over degrees of fairness, and we could go back and forth for hours on that, because we’d have to compare exactly where people live, what disasters are specific to that area or what sort of wildlife’s in that area that might end up attacking you or the local economy, etc, etc…
"And when people are being unfair to one another, yeah, that's part of what is meant by "life is unfair." Really, at this point it's arguing semantics. I am honesly an optimist and think that everything ultimately works out for the best, but I do know that things happen outside of our control that can screw us over. That is what is meant by "life is unfair" and I honestly don't understand why you care so much about this.”
I myself am an “optimist/idealist”. But I’m also…how am I gonna put this…I am REEEEAAALLY tired of all this “the world is so awful and everything is going down the crapper” crud I keep seeing in the internet, getting talked about in editorials on the current state of affairs, and which is even creeping into popular culture. The minute things go a BIT bad for stuff like the economy, people start saying how much life sucks and how utterly unfair things are. It makes me think back to an old Bloom County cartoon in which Opus is talking to Milo about how terrifying life is for the person living in the 70’s. He says "It sure is some scary times we live in!"
Milo’s response is short and to the point. “Yeah! The Black Death! Tornadoes! Man-eating bears! Trying to make fire whilst avoiding saber-toothed tigers! Psychologically, it musta been a PICNIC!”
What I’m trying to say is that I keep seeing this…this mindset, this persistent thought that life is just SOOO awful, when really, it’s not. Not usually. It just gets inconvenient for the MOST part, and if the worst part of your day is that you forgot to record a DVR event or you left your keys or something at home, yeah, it’s ANNOYING, but compared to the sort of things people had to put up with a mere 20, 30 years ago…it just seems there’s this cynical, pessimistic attitude that people keep falling back on and I really think it does more damage to people and culture than it should. It goes back to my earlier point: that life is SOMETIMES unfair, and even then, when we look back on the past and how circumstances were back then, in comparison…our ass is in ice cream. And I just get so sad and angry when I see people constantly making these statements on how “everything sucks now” or “life is crap wherever I look”, kind of like how Stan came off in that South Park episode where he LITERALLY saw everything as crap. It feels like the condition known as “being a cynical asshole” is kind of…socially acceptable, and that REALLY gets under my skin.
I guess it kinda sounds stupid to complain about how much people complain these days over things that, to me, aren't really worth whining about.
"I guess it kinda sounds stupid to complain about how much people complain these days over things that, to me, aren't really worth whining about."
...I don't think we're quite on the same page. I was arguing the exact same thing a few weeks ago on a message board forum where people were depressingly talking about how the world has gone down the crapper and all life as we know it will soon be coming to an end.
Life is better now than it has ever been for a lot of people. I'm just arguing that life is unfair, or rather that life isn't fair and there should probably be a distinction between "unfair" and "not fair." Unfair assumes it's always sucky every single time, whereas "not fair" suggests that it SHOULD be fair, but it isn't always.
However, it's easier to say "life is unfair" than it is to say "life is not fair but it should be," my problem that started this whole discussion between us was Superman was doing a crappy job trying to comfort a woman who was contemplating Superman, and trying to tell her "yeah, life sucks, whatcha gonna do?" is a bad approach to it.
Or, if we DO take the route of "life is unfair," I can argue that yes, all life is unfair because it ultimately results in death and if you don't ascribe to any belief system that suggests another life, than yeah, the end result is that we work so hard in life but nothing is actually achieved because ultimately we all die and that is unfair, or that other people who don't deserve life live longer than others.
However, that's a very pessimistic way of looking at it, so I prefer not to.
Okay, that makes more sense, then, Lewis...though then again, this makes me think back to something C.S Lewis said, that simply by having this idea that "life is unfair", we then have it in our minds a standard that we hold life to, and this acknowledgment of that standard points towards the existence of a "higher law". In acknowledging that much of the world doesn't make sense, we realize that ultimately it does. A person born blind wouldn't have any idea what a straight line was, y'know? But then we go into debating God and that'd open up a whole other can of worms. (Not that you'd get a debate with me, I'm Catholic and proud of it)
There is really one thing thing about this review I think you might have overlooked and which could have been a bit more addressed, and that's the spiel Spike Lee (I cannot BELIEVE how stupid that bit from Marville was) tries to deliver on how black people turn to crime. And the implication the Kingpin says in this comic seems to be that most crime is caused by black people. Not that we ever see a lot OF black people in the comic, which in itself kinda undercuts the point...
In 2010, 69.4 percent of all individuals arrested were white, 28.0 percent were
black, and 2.6 percent were of other races. Of all juveniles (individuals under the age of 18) arrested in 2010 in the Nation,
66.3 percent were white, 31.1 percent were black, and 2.6 percent were of other
races. In fact, White individuals were arrested more often for violent crimes than individuals of
any other race, accounting for 59.3 percent of those arrests.
I was REALLY tempted to TRY and give Jemas SOME credit for trying to bring attention to the disenfranchisement of African Americans, but even looking at crime statistics this still comes off as a crock and it just makes his posturing look not merely racist, but lazy. I found all this out in ten minutes using Google. He couldn't check the FBI website to do the same? The idea that black people commit most crime in America is a DISGUSTINGLY racist statement.
Then again, he does this a lot in the series "Marville". The story will try to bring up important topics like God, the meaning of life, how the universe works, and at first you want to give it the benefit of the doubt for TRYING to talk about this kind of subject matter, but then you remember that this is the same comic showing off almost utterly naked women on the front page. Even when the comic tries to be deep and serious, it just comes off as not knowing what the hell it's talking about, and even hypocritical.
I'm really sorry for going off on you, Lewis. It was a knee-jerk reaction but you deserve a lot better than that, and certainly the benefit of the doubt.
"I'm really sorry for going off on you, Lewis. It was a knee-jerk reaction but you deserve a lot better than that, and certainly the benefit of the doubt."
Perfectly okay. ^_^ And you've pretty much summed up the problems of Marville with your post, and that's part of why the comic utterly fails when it gets to the later issues - that it suddenly decides that instead of being a juvenile humor book that it has IMPORTANT! things to say about how the world works and it's just utterly insulting. And stupid.
Time travel DOES give people super powers. If you are the Samaritan from Astro City!
"Time travel DOES give people super powers. If you are the Samaritan from Astro City!"
I was thinking the same thing, but I refused to point it out because that would mean mentioning Astro City and Marville in the same sentence.
The only way to turn this around is GO READ ASTRO CITY! It's an AWESOME comic that is the complete opposite of this comic! Most importantly, it doesn't SUCK!
Dear lord - there're seven issues of this?? I missed that tidbit in the first Marville review...
I'm astonished someone somewhere paid money for these eldritch abominations. Every page has something cringe-worthy or facepalm-inspiring...and they get worse from here? You're a brave man, Linkara *salutes*
"
The only way to turn this around is GO READ ASTRO CITY! It's an AWESOME comic that is the complete opposite of this comic! Most importantly, it doesn't SUCK!"
"The complete opposite of this comic" means "it doesn't suck." Therefore, you just repeated yourself by saying that it's the complete opposite of this comic because it doesn't suck. And I just repeated what you just repeated.
Also, what does it mean when you say a cover is "cheesecake?"
I'll be dreading any possible reviews of this dreadful comic book series. Marville is made out of Ink and Paper fail . The only good things about this review are your jokes and the Cinema Snob's Cameo.
Soo Linkara
Well the final issue devour you whole? or is the last issue's review just gonna be you huddle in a ball crying?
or you just say screw it and say nothing but positive things about Countdown and Ultimatum?
This is like a comic version of a Seltzerberg flick.
No substance, character, or story. Just references, and idiotic jokes flying at you in a desperate attempt at comedy.
If you are going to continue this do so after August cause then I can legally join you in the drinking binge.
BTW always love your reviews. This is a great way for me to get into comics, even if most of them suck.
Can't believe there exists a comic s stupid and badly written I still can't believe it exists even though I've seen the proof. Hpw can there be something so stupid it actually starts to make the Ultimate Warrior make sense?
...Wait a minute, could it be possible after reading all 7 issues of Marville perhaps then the Ultimate Warrior's writings and speech will come out normal?
@popeyedboy
Nah it's not selfish, just robotic.
I know comics are primarily written for an American audience, but Peter David is known in France and has been since the 90s. His Hulk, X-Factor (both versions) and Captain Marvel runs have been published there. I recognised his name before I had the Internet to know who's who in the Comic books industry.
Bill Jemas ? Apart from Troubles and Namor, none of his work has been published in France...
Rush Limbaugh : completely unknown here.
You know, i'm beginning to think this thing was one big publicity stunt.
It's like the comic was specifically created to look bad in comparison to the Captain Marvel series and drive viewers towards reading that. The competition seems to be well known and now Marville itself has minor references being made to it.
Does anyone know why it is called Marville anyway, it's not the name of the hero or the location of the city, so why is it called that?
Okay, now that I've finished reading this bizarrely awful comic series, I can't help but wonder what happened with "Epic Comics."
Also, I'm still fuming over how Ted Turner was suddenly able to send Al the time machine when that problem was the EXACT REASON THEY GAVE AT THE END OF THE LAST ISSUE for why Al couldn't go back to the year 5002! The problem was, and I quote: "He's there, and the time machine is here." But then, at the end of the next issue, "NOPE TURNS OUT WE CAN SEND THE TIME MACHINE BACK LOL." Ugh. And it ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THERE.
And you said the series was TECHNICALLY seven issues... I'd argue that it's technically still six, and that issue six doesn't count. Why? Well, I'd describe issue six, but just thinking about it made blood shoot out of my nose. Plus the scans I downloaded didn't include the "seventh" issue, so I don't know what the deal is there.
Though, if it were up to me, NONE of the issues would count and they would also be on fire.
And after reading all that, entering in the two "prove you're not a robot" words to submit this comment is making me feel like I'm having a stroke. When and why did those things stop asking for ACTUAL words?
Random comic pitch.
Have you heard about Mind the Gap? It's kinda cool, and I was wondering what your opinion on the book might be. It came out today.
It's about a girl who's attacked and put into a coma, and is trying to figure out what happened in her mind realm.
"And you said the series was TECHNICALLY seven issues... I'd argue that it's technically still six, and that issue six doesn't count. Why? Well, I'd describe issue six, but just thinking about it made blood shoot out of my nose. Plus the scans I downloaded didn't include the "seventh" issue, so I don't know what the deal is there."
Well, six is bad because it's just a recap and then the story getting rejected, as if we're supposed to feel BAD about it being rejected. Seven is worse because it's the submission guidelines for a comic line... in issue seven of ANOTHER SERIES. Who the hell was going to know it was being printed there? And why even bother printing submission guidelines in MARVILLE of all places?
"Comparing Stan Lee to Shakespeare is surprisingly apt as both created media for mass consumption that was considered low brow and looked down on in their heyday despite being massively popular"
Umm ok except that Shakespeare's works were critically acclaimed masterpieces, many of which were commissioned by the English Monarchy. So yeah.
Belatedly, Dr. Ivo... we're having the fight in the Thunderdome? Come on, that's so old.
I mean, haven't we gotten BEYOND Thunderdome? *FLEES!*
Honestly I haven't read the comic itself but nothing Linkara pointed out is that bad except the misleading cover.
It's a comedy, and Linkara should be aware of what a running joke is, they created a running joke with the typecast thing. And they were nice enough to use marvel instead of DC for the second issue showing that its all in good fun as oppose to hating DC.
I wouldn't buy it but it doesn't seem much different than the old What The ?! comics.
Also comparing a no name comic to Captain America is misleading. Established names tend to sell better unless you can sell the creator names or can build up an audience, or hype.
Ugh... dude, after all the work you did on the Power Rangers SPD reviews, and watching you struggle to actually review this piece of , I would suggest you take a vacation... I hear KO-35 is pretty this time of the millenium.
Anyway, to put this into context, this comic series was so forgettable, I actually had to go back and... REWATCH THE FIRST REVIEW JUST SO I'D UNDERSTAND WTF IS GOING ON... *takes a breath*
I cannot believe that this could get any worse, but like you, I needed a break, well actually several, before I could get through this. I do applaud your resolve... either that, or you're a glutton for punishment.
So what can I say about this comic book that hasn't already been said? Not much... the jokes are lame, the characters are lamer, the "recognizable" characters and lamer still, and the stuff that looked like it came out of a really bad porno? Nothing a nice hot shower could cure, but Yikes!
Anyway, I know there are some who will hate me for saying this, though I'll be damned if I know why, but PLEASE don't review any more of this series any time soon. I'm begging you Linkara, I fear that I may have to gnaw off one of my own legs to survive if you do.
"You know, i'm beginning to think this thing was one big publicity stunt. It's like the comic was specifically created to look bad in comparison to the Captain Marvel series and drive viewers towards reading that."
That would make this comic even worse if it's intentionnaly bad. This was commercialy released. It was sold to people who paid actual money to purchase a comic, whatever its quality is.
Getting them to buy a secret advertising for another series or a 5/6/7 issues-long inside joke would be a scam of the worst kind.
Actually on the earning $230k a week thing off 6% interest, the comic is about right. The actual formula is $200,000,000*((1.06^1/52)-1) which works out at $224,236.80 to the nearest cent.
I know I'm anal. But that's the job I've lined myself up for.
Loved the Cybermen joke.
I'd call you out for being overly nitpicky here, if not for the fact that the comic is
1) not very funny
2) not very good.
I think this comic has given me a headache
Marville #1. Al ask his father "What's Marvel ?". Issue #2 : the same guy says he studied Stan Lee & Spiderman in college...
"Great continuity"
I think Ebert's still bitter from all the fan backlash for his negative review of Revenge of the Fallen... which I happen to agree with. That movie sucks.
There's a local food truck called "Big Belly Barbeque." Yeah, I said the same thing
I've seen it twice and don't get it. Did the writer of the comic like Rush Limbaugh, dislike him? He talks about how Rush has fans, then the fart scene which I only imagine is satire that "People guy everything that comes out of him as genius." but then he... saves the day?
Oh, I get it now, the comic hates Rush, the writer of the comic must have known we all hated Al by now. what is the worst thing for Rush to do, Save Al!
Hahahahaha awesome review Linkara.
What the hell are these comics? And it just occured me that X-Factor Investigation (created by Peter David in 2006) is one of the best montlhy comics EVER made and it's full of real-world referals. How ironically do you think that seems
And I would like like to point out that Lucy's whore costume is quite simillar to the one that Sara Pezzini wore in the 1st issue of Witchblade, and she wore that to arrest some drugdealers? Maybe that was a reference? Or just coincidence?
This is probabLy a very nerdy thing to say, but "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely", which Mickey attributes to Shakespeare, isn't by Shakespeare at all. It comes from a British historian Lord John Acton.
Yes, I know I'm nitpicking, but how could you screw this up? Did Jemas have no Internet when he wrote this? Double-checking a quotation is not that hard to do.
Speaking of Greg Horn, I can suggest his first comic book work for the show: Femforce #19, published by AC Comics in March 1989:
It is ironic that an artist known for cheescake would have his first work published in a comic series known for cheesecake: The cover and splash page feature bondage with serpents, some visible nipples (Thankfully, there is no nudity in this comic), one of the heroines strips down to her underwear to save another heroine, some ass shots (including some from the male guest stars), inconsistencies with the characters' costumes, and two characters talk about men.
You might be interested in this.
Jeremy.
I know there's no reason to try and make sense of this comic but isn't Rush for rich people? Why did he beat up Bats, Iron Man and Black Panther? Some moments it seems like this comic is being satirical of one thing and then backs it up the next moment. I'm confused :(
"Call it sad if you want, but I looked at the math problem. If he has $200 million in a bank account with 6% annual interest, that would be $12 million/year in annual interest, or about $230,000/week.
If he gave out 300 hundred-dollar bills per week, he would have $200,000 left over."
Actually the math in the comic is (mostly) right. 6% interest of 200 million is $12 million. That leaves $230,769.23(rounded to cents) per week. I assume that the 300 one-hundred dollar bills are per day so (300*100)* 5 = $150,000. 230,769.23 - $150,000 = $80,769.23 left for the weekend.
"I know there's no reason to try and make sense of this comic but isn't Rush for rich people? Why did he beat up Bats, Iron Man and Black Panther? Some moments it seems like this comic is being satirical of one thing and then backs it up the next moment. I'm confused :( "
Yeah, that's precisely the problem. Sometimes it makes points that I might want to make about rich "hero" characters who don't have anything better to do than just beat people up, which solves less than handing them money. Maybe I'd use similar ideas, like the dominatrix metaphor, but I'd do them right. This comic seems to aim for something close to right, but misses, because the author can't seem to think straight.
The two best words I can use to describe Marville are pretincious and stupid.
Mistake I CANNOT BELIEVE no one's pointed out: Marville #1 plain + Marville #1 foil cover sold a combined total of 53,432 units. Assuming a maximum of 10% of customers bought both, that's still 48,808 people to a credited 56,819. Unless Captain Marvel #1 has a variant cover that also bolsters it's count, that is NOT "more than double." Probably should be something to at least be mentioned in the next screw-ups video, because WHOO! That is a BIG ONE.
I was an idiot. Didn't check the credits that you didn't care about the variant cover sales.
To add further insult to injury ... Mickey says that Shakespeare said "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
Wrong guy!
That was Lord Acton who said it nearly three centuries *after* Shakespeare.
Everyone is dumb.
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