Monday, April 23, 2012

Bloodstrike #1



Hey, kids - rub the blood on the cover and maybe the comic will stop sucking!




NOTE: Yes, I know about Freeze Tag. I mention it in the credits.

58 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know this is incredibly nit-picky and just shows how much of a dork I am regarding your show, but is there a specific reason you now choose to walk off-camera at the end in the other direction now?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Alright fellow Bloodstrike members, it's time for back-up!"
    *Arms stretched* "WE NEED SHOGUN ZORD POWER, NOW!"
    *Shogun enters. However, soon after, the Power Rangers show up in THEIR Shogun Megazord and lay waste to everyone in the comic. Oh and in this universe, everyone's a monster except the Rangers, so that they aren't murderers*

    And THAT'S how you improve that scene. And by extension, the comic.
    (Sorry for the repost, forgot I was using another account. Don't really know why I'm posting the exact same thing just with a different name but I'm putting it down to the fact that I'm better known on this one)

    Also, has Liefeld been kicked off his Hawk And Dove yet? I hope so, with all the changing creative teams.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "I know this is incredibly nit-picky and just shows how much of a dork I am regarding your show, but is there a specific reason you now choose to walk off-camera at the end in the other direction now?"

    The futon is on the opposite wall now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I believe tag refer's to the British game stuck in the mud where when you get tagged you stand still legs spread until someone crawl's between them and can move again

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Jericho, that's actually not too stupid a name. They want to name an impenetrable facility with high walls? Cliché, and still not as big as a city, but the nineties have far more stupid things to choose from.

    But to contrast that... GATE? Really? You're really stretching for name acronyms, eh, Rob? ;) Why not just do it like an official agency, just the acronym that happens?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ooh, I know their called Bloodstrike because the attack with blood. Throwing blood at their enemies to make stains on their clothes.

    How does Liefeld keep getting work?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for mentioning The Avengers (which I'm looking forward to) because at least Marvel knew what they were doing when making a superhero team-up! For this movie, it's what we've been hoping for. A culmination of everything we saw in some of the past movies like Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America combined into one geek-fest. So when it comes out on May 4th, you betcha that I'll be there opening day.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh man, I love your Patton References :)

    BTW: What was your opinion on the New DCU's portrayal of Green Arrow and the Marvel Family?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Apparently, when it comes to naming secret projects and such, the CIA and Defense Department have a couple of old Crays that were installed in the early 80s and exist solely to spit out completely random English words at the push of a button, specifically to create codenames and codewords that have no connection to whatever they're attached to. So in Jericho's defense, it could be a case of such a random codename.

    And while I'm sure that Rob didn't come up with this, and instead wanted to show "how strong" Tag's power was, it's been shown in a number of tests (most famously on Mythbusters) that the whole "bullet sends you flying backwards" thing is pure Hollywood; at most, you'll get knocked back about as much as if a pro boxer punched you where you got hit. (Interestingly, in recent years, police and ambulance people have seen evidence that people are starting to get thrown back by bullets, but physics says it's still impossible, and the best explanation anyone can come up with is that it happens in the movies so much that people have started subconsciously doing it when shot, on the grounds that "you're supposed to fly backwards." Even when hit in the back...)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Say, what does "G.A.T.E." even stand for? Generic Association for Total Exposition?

    Also, any comic that invites the reader to "rub the blood" is probably right away the dumbest thing imaginable.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rob Liefeld is nothing but a joke. (DUH!) I remember spending an hour and a half in Survey of Sequential Art class talking about how much he sucks in terms of his artwork and storytelling. We even watched his damn Levi's commercial.

    The ONLY reason I can explain why he keeps getting work is because he's got connections. He knows so many people in the comic book industry and has made a name for himself to where if a company needs an artist, he's on top of the contact list.

    Good review as usual. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Should have put that in there. That you moved the cough. First you normally go to the right (your left), slam against the wall and go "right, forgot I moved the couch"

    ReplyDelete
  14. had to admit, (Feeeze) Tag's power is unique.

    Call me crazy but I think this version of Young Blood/Dooms 4/Newmen had a little more positional. The artwork wasn't AS bad and the alluded too backstories sounded amusing by how they were talked about.

    Or maybe I'm just going insane form watching the Rejected" Spoonying with Spoony video" before this one.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So, anyway, you said a couple months ago that the next storyline would start in April. Since nothing of the sort has happened yet, am I to assume this means that the storyline will start next week?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Its pretty clear that the game is reference to freeze tag, rather than regular tag. And calling her "FreezeTag" is a bit of a mouthful.

    rdfox - I think Linkara's bit about the bullets and the frozen guy is that after getting shot several times, he should have tipped over rather than remain standing. He must have been in a REALLY stable stance to be able to take those impacts and not fall over, since its not like he could shift his weight after getting hit.

    ReplyDelete
  17. What was up with the 90s and these stupid anti-heroes? Why did everything have to be grim and serious? Were they trying to copy Frank Miller? Can someone explain to me why Rob Liefeld is still getting work? His stories seem as boring and unappealing as they can get. I DON'T GET IT. Good review, though.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great review as always Linkara.

    Am I the only one who wanted 90's Patton, a phrase I never thought I say, to say, "Liefeld you magnificant bastard I read your book! And it sucked!"

    Side thought: was that Linkara immitating Patton or Pattonkara in Linkara's jacket?

    ReplyDelete
  19. But let's not forget that Eric Stephenson helped write this book, and he now's the publisher of Image and partially responsible for keeping the company steady through the years.

    Anyway, out of the Extreme team books also mentioned in this review, Brigade is an interesting one, since Marv Wolfman of all people wrote it for a bit. And around the team he wrote it, the team's line-up not only included Liefeld creations, also characters from other Image partners like Erik Larsen and Gary Carlson's Vanguard, Jim Valentino's ShadowHawk, and even Tremor from Spawn.

    Speaking of Alan Moore's run on Supreme, did anyone pick up Supreme #63? It came out a few weeks ago and is the last issue by Moore (using a script he wrote a decade ago) and the first issue by Erik Larsen, who will continue off from Moore's cliffhanger and do his own take on the series, having the violent 90's anti-hero version of Supreme co-exist alongside Moore's vision of the Ivory Icon and his world.

    And Bloodstrike recently came back. I dunno much about it, but I do know that Tim Seeley is writing it, and I'd consider him a rising star in comics nowadays, particularly due to his celebrated Hack/Slash, which I'd bet Linkara might like (Linkara seems to be a bit of a Nightmare on Elm Street fan, and Hack/Slash is loving homage to slasher films, with a kick-ass female lead to boot).

    ReplyDelete
  20. I honestly get a kick out of Rob's art. Seriously, the guy is just so deluded. I have actually met an artist named SL Gallant who has actually met Liefeld. He is far superior to Rob in every respect. By the way, is it just me, or did "Tag" have her leg up Shogun's ass when they were climbing up the mountain?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow this was so generic I can't even think of a way to rehash this into a good comic like most of the stuff Liefield's created!
    Ok is it just me or does the main guy's arm look to be bent weirdly in the same panel as the one linkara pointed out the 3 belts on. The angle it's bent it'd have to have a 2nd elbow bend to reconnect to his shoulder! Anyone else notice this?
    You also gotta love how this evil company or whatever it is guards all are wearing what looks like a hero/villain costume over what looks like a real guard uniform.
    Tag does seem like a salvageable character in another comic series. Who owns these guys now!?
    Yeah, that is still a think that pisses me off about 90s Image comics are the endings and story pickups set in other series! They did it in all titles!
    I'm guessing the reason the dead bad guy didn't fall over or tip over from the recoil blast is that whole freezing in place thing. IDK her powers and how they work and what all they entail wasn't really explained!
    Wow this episode was really really short this week!

    ReplyDelete
  22. @The Blue and the Gold
    "Also, has Liefeld been kicked off his Hawk And Dove yet? I hope so, with all the changing creative teams."

    I'm pretty sure Hawk and Dove got canned.

    It looks like Corben went to the same tailor as Silver Age Lex Luthor. That suit is the ugliest shade of pink I've ever seen. And that's terrible.

    Also, was that Booster Gold in that team photo on the end? That really threw me off for a second.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wow this was so generic I can't even think of a way to rehash this into a good comic like most of the stuff Liefield's created!
    Ok is it just me or does the main guy's arm look to be bent weirdly in the same panel as the one linkara pointed out the 3 belts on. The angle it's bent it'd have to have a 2nd elbow bend to reconnect to his shoulder! Anyone else notice this?
    You also gotta love how this evil company or whatever it is guards all are wearing what looks like a hero/villain costume over what looks like a real guard uniform.
    Tag does seem like a salvageable character in another comic series. Who owns these guys now!?
    Yeah, that is still a think that pisses me off about 90s Image comics are the endings and story pickups set in other series! They did it in all titles!
    I'm guessing the reason the dead bad guy didn't fall over or tip over from the recoil blast is that whole freezing in place thing. IDK her powers and how they work and what all they entail wasn't really explained!
    Wow this episode was really really short this week!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Good review.

    As I look at this comic, I can't help but wonder: What the hell were they thinking? Did they think Bloodstrike would be any good, along with Rob Liefeld's other books like Youngblood or Doom's IV? My God, Liefeld's artwork and writing looks more terrible with each successive glance. How is it possible that someone who is obviously untalented keeps getting work in the industry?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Weird, I just keep coming across Rupert Holmes this weekend. Somehow I had "Him" on my mind the other day (I blame watching MLP: Friendship is Magic) and now you have "Escape" in this episode. Well...at least that's more interesting to talk about compared to "generic Rob Liefeld team #534". Though the idiot hiring them to look better...what the heck was he thinking anyway!? And could he look any more like Wolverine and Cable with those characters?

    Though I do wonder if we're ever going to get a Supreme ep, preferably pre-Alan Moore, mostly because...well, I want to see how Liefeld did him before Moore came along.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I got it! Rob was just a very early fan of Warcraft
    http://www.wowhead.com/spell=45902

    Makes about as much sense as anything else

    ReplyDelete
  27. You seem to be a lot angrier then usual in the last few episodes. I cant wait to see how angry you'll be next week, considering the subject matter.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ohhh.. ShoGUN! I Geddit! And suddenly remember why I stopped reading early 90s comics.. my 10-year old brain found them too stupid.

    "Also, was that Booster Gold in that team photo on the end? That really threw me off for a second."

    Pretty sure Batman's in there as well, so I wouldn't be surprised.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Back in the 90's the joke (among those of us who were not impressed by their boasting) about Image Comics was that they were named for having Image... and no Substance. :P

    As for their constant use of the term "Blood"- well, even Marvel and DC have fallen into the habit of exploiting what they think are "catchy" titles (see: all X-books or Crisis of Whatever series.)

    Still, I don't think this comic was THAT bad. Just not good either. Obviously the idea here was to introduce a "Black Ops" (read: government assassins) style team to contrast with Liefield's Government "nice" team eg. Youngblood. The problem being the differences, both visual and thematic, are so small you can hardly tell the difference.

    Now that I think about it, that DC crossover with the alien parasites (obviously inspired by the ones in ALIENS) was their attempt at creating their own image-style heroes, and it was even titled "Blood-Lines". *shakes head*

    ReplyDelete
  30. @Gonzo
    "I'm pretty sure Hawk and Dove got canned."

    So I see. I'd like to think Batman Inc. is the replacement, just to counter it.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm not proud to say I own most issues of this series...
    Battlestone, seen in the last panel, is Cabbot's brother, hence the Blood Brothers crossover. Brigade was just as generic and rippded off other comics, with for example the character of Roman, king of the seas (subtle)
    This issue was bland, but #5 is really awful : it features a "fight" between Supreme and Bloodstrike. It's really a Superman expy tearing apart an X-Force rip-off. It sounds more amusing than it looks.
    When Cabbot says he's nowhere near as graceful as Tag, you have to love how the artist graces us with an ass shot. I wonder if it was on purpose ?

    ReplyDelete
  32. You must get annoyed with the 90's comics. I can feel it. You sound increasingly frustrated as you encounter the same problems over and over. The same level of incompetance, the same bad art, it all molds together, just like Liefeld's superteams.

    I can see why you try to break up the motony of which company you decide to burn each week. If I had to review the same stupid comic six weeks in a row for example I'd be pissed. But I always look forward to the 90's comics episodes regardless. I like looking at the dark ages a bit because it shows just how low a medium can fall when it tries to copy or appeal to a specific niche market. In this case, the violent, grunge, counter-culture rebel who only likes guns and explosions and that is all he needs to be happy.

    Speaking of which 90's kid as Patton was pretty hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I just don't see a reason for a Youngblood movie. After everything that Marvel has done I just don't see a point. That movie is dead in the water. Not even DC can do a good job unless they do something similar. Youngblood is so, obscure I don't think anyone really gives a damn about it. Sure there's been plenty of movies made with comics that have lesser issue numbers but they made a massive impact. I don't know, I'm just urked at the notion of a Youngblood movie.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Fun fact: Fourplay's design is kind of a rip-off of Spiral's. See for yourself: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/ba/Spiral_%28Marvel_character%29.PNG

    Rob/Others just took her gimmick for one character and her helmet for Shogun.

    As one of the people guilty of sending you Bloodstrike, I apologize. It's just...so stupid.

    Oh and Brigade has a character named Stasis, who's a lady with Tag's powers. Shocking.

    'Sadly,' I'm missing Brigade #1, but I do have #2. It sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Nice review; i like the "Inanimate carbon rod" joke and 90's Kid is EXTREME! as always :). I have this book, got it from my cousin. he had a lot of early 90's Image stuff, Mostly stuff like this but i got some cool old Savage Dragon issues. I am glad to know what that weird "blood" gimmick on the cover is supposed to be, it doesn't work on mine either.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Freeze Tag is the game he's referring to. I used to play it and regular tag when I was a kid.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I have a very hard time imagining some like Alan Moore working with Liefield and Mr.Moore making one of Liefield's creations into something good. I think that Liefield's first issues feel like 2nd issues and beyond. Just action and not much substance. Wait, 0_0 there is a possibility of a Young Blood Movie.
    How will they recreate Young Blood disease?!

    ReplyDelete
  38. This review of Bloodstrike reminded me of the Captain America issues from 1983 I read recently. In a short arc, Captain America battles Deathlok, who is described as "the super soldier of the 90s."
    An amazingly accurate prediction for a character created in the 70s, who has a kewl (poor litteracy) name and is a gun-toting zombie cyborg with (in the aformentioned issues) little regards for evil mooks lives.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Excellent job Lewis I've been waiting for this for a while one thing though (since the comic didnt explain it) Bloodstrike are basically a team of undead black op agents that can return to life no matter how many times they die thanks to project born again (basicly something like Lazarus Pit)i know you dont care about this staff but i had to get this out of my chest thanks Alex

    P.S.1 the only reason i know about this is because i read it in the new Bloodstrike series fron Tim Seeley which i recomend

    P.S.2 The thing in cabot face is a face tatoo because face tatoos are EXTREME

    ReplyDelete
  40. What makes this comic funnier is that Supreme kills most of the in a few issues, and you find out that Shogun has a human pilot.

    Also Tag has other powers, she has the powers to change outfits in every panel in this book. She is seen with and without sleeves, shoulder pads big, small and none, it is really really funny =3

    ReplyDelete
  41. How about reviewing Brigade #1 this time next year?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Comics like this are part of the reason I've said before that I'm glad I was born in 1990.

    Being born in 1990 meant I was too young to realise and understand the stupid of the 90's and I wasn't near any comic book shops so I missed a lot (in truth I didn't know we had comic book shops in the UK back then).

    It also meant that I was old enough to apreciate the previous decade and the one we are in now. And thanks to the internet I can still enjoy any good aspects of the 90's through companies such as amazon.

    ReplyDelete
  43. In re. to rdfox: Normally you would be correct. In this case however, look at the kind of weapons they're using. Some of those should be ripping limbs off.

    ReplyDelete
  44. general kid or 90's patton? the weirdness of moore liefield makes it make sense.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Next on the Rob Liefeld Show, Rob writes Harry Potter fanfiction!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V4VxlsMuQ4

    ReplyDelete
  46. It's also worth noting that in the biblical story for Jericho it was basically defeated by an army marching around it and blowing on their trumpets. That wouldn't inspire confidence in me, that's for sure

    ReplyDelete
  47. Yet another shining example from the 90s on why Bloodquest was the only halfway decent comic with Blood*something* in the name. And another reminder of just why the comics crash of the 90s took place.

    To be honest with you, I think you were being surprisingly fair with the comic. It might have been due to you focusing upon just how badly it failed as a first issue, but you didn't seem to be ripping into the artwork as much as usual. Esepcially with the obvious rip-offs of Batman and Booster Gold in the final image, though it's probably best to save that for when you get to Brigade.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Sir I salute you! I did a rant about that spazzy fingered muppet Liefeld and it still doesn't quite scratch the itch.

    Looking forward to more!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Did they even say what these people's powers were, aside from Tag's, in this book? I mean, I guess Shogun was a giant gunbot, but from the way you sounded at the end there, even telling us what the other heroes' powers were, aside from that whole undead/zombie thing would have been a big help.

    Of course, I should probably keep in mind that this is a Liefeld comic and he probably didn't think that far ahead himself when he created these characters

    ReplyDelete
  50. Man, I hate it when teleportation is Daily Power requiring a six-hour rest before using it again. 4.0 sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  51. As soon as I heard you ask about pina coladas, I knew you were going to be ending with "Escape".

    Typical early-Image but I really like the concept of Tag. In the hands of a decent writer, she could have been a cool character.

    ReplyDelete
  52. @Jesse

    Aside from all of them being semi-undead scientific zombies...

    Their powers are:

    Cabbot: He's big, he's tough and he carries a whole lot of guns

    Tag: Freezes things via touch

    Gridlock: None? He had multiple personalities but that aside he just ripped into people ala sabretooth, it should be pointed out as bad as Gridlock could be on this team, this was his "good" side.

    Foreplay: Four arms, I believe low level super str./durability

    Shogun: Aside from his suit; personal powers I guess would be some level of super intelligence since he made and designs his suit.

    Since these guys are all zombies more or less, for once the lefield posture and body types might actually have a legitimate explaination.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I'm surprised no one else has asked this; why did Corben come out to confront Blood Strike when they were pulling out? He hired them so that he could repel their attack. Stupid plan but whatever, it worked. They were retreating. Mission accomplished, the Lord of Loquaciousness won. So why did he put on his pink jump suit and jetpack to go gloat about it to them? He could have stayed in his comfy office and giggled about it quietly. He keeps his job and his blood remains un-striked.

    Also he looks really silly in black face. That could have been avoided too.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Lewis....it took avengers 1 year and 4 months short of 50 years to actually have a movie released for Avengers...the fact we're even talking about a Youngbloods movie 20 years after creation isn't far fetched and nor is it completion and release that impossbile especially as we've seen plenty of superheroes who are other smaller and less known Heroes get films that were released in theaters:
    Just a few:

    -Blade, a triology of films
    -Punisher with 2 reboots!
    -Ghost Rider(hell that got a sequelboot, part a sequel part reboot)
    -Spawn(in the same 10 years the original comic was released)
    -Swamp thing(got a M4TV sequel)
    -Steel(another character who was less then 10 when the movie was made)
    -Constantine
    -Mystery Men(which was a JOKE TEAM WITHIN A JOKE COMIC)
    -TMNT(with a reboot movie as well, and another one planned NOTE: The new one IS NOT BEING DIRECTED BY MICHEAL BAY he's just the producer)
    -The Mask
    -The Crow(Another adapted within 10 years of creation)
    -The Rocketeer
    -The Spirit
    -The Shadow
    -The Phantom
    -Daredevil
    AND ELEKTRA

    All had cinematic releases before Avengers and while a lot of those were HORRID, they still made it before Avengers showing while Youngblood is Youngblood, the movie has a chance of actual coming out.

    ReplyDelete
  55. John Pannozzi:
    "Linkara seems to be a bit of a Nightmare on Elm Street fan"

    Curious; what do you base that on?
    One of his 'I'm a man!' punches got him a Freddy glove, and he's talked about doing a ANOES comic this October, but that's about all that I can think of. ?

    Jaqui K:
    "Rob was just a very early fan of Warcraft"
    Uh-oh... that'd make him prescient! Rob Liefeld with powers... ugh!

    Airforceone:
    "Youngblood is so, obscure I don't think anyone really gives a damn about it."
    That's no reason not to have a movie - a movie could make people care.
    ... there are plenty of reasons for there not to be a Youngblood movie, though...

    Ebon:
    "As soon as I heard you ask about pina coladas, I knew you were going to be ending with "Escape"."
    Especially since he also started with it.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hey, guess what! They're making a movie! Mwahahaha!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FcHGlG06aU&feature=em-uploademail <====={{{ Go HERE to see the details!

    ReplyDelete
  57. obviously you have never played freeze tag before. the rules are simple. One person is it and if you're tagged you freeze till another person taps you or till everybody is frozen, which ever happens first. When the tagger does freeze everybody then the game either ends or starts over.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I think the reason why they might make a "Youngblood" movie is that they want to cash in on the "I-can't-believe-they-actually-made-a-movie-about-that-stupid-joke-of-a-comic-book" market.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.