So basically by Frank Miller's own admission here Batman is a rude, murderous child abductor who cares what twelve year-olds think about his toys and eats rats when not mourning the loss of the bloody, incestuous affair he had with his mother.
Two More Text Reviews Turned Video! (Haven't said THAT in a while...)
Monday, April 4, 2011
All-Star Batman and Robin #3 and 4
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149 comments:
Hoo Boy, I kind of avoided the All Star series. I kind of knew what was going on in them due to friends, but the more I heard the more stupid it sounded.
Seeing it for myself now, just makes me glad I saved the money. I mean who the heck thought this would be a good idea. Its one thing to make a character darker, edgier, etc..
But this is beyond the pale, it goes farther than dark. Its just falls into a deep pool of awful, that is so incredibly bad it goes beyond my critical spectrum right into a void of idiocy.
Lewis, of course the Irish have secret ninja powers. Haven't you ever heard of... Dr. McNinja?!
Hey Linkara, sorry this is off topic or if you've posted this somewhere else but I was wondering if you were going to be attending the Boston Comic Con by any chance? Thanks!
Of course Irish people have ninja powers! Haven't you heard of Dr McNinja?
And damn. Just damn, was this thing horrible. Get out of the comic while you still can, Superman! It will turn you into a twisted abomination of your former self! At least Alfred is still cool... wait. Pajamas. Nevermind.
"…I call him Steve…"
I do like your alternate names, it's a shame you couldn't invent one for Irish Canary. I'm very glad I dodged this waste of time, I am almost speechless. How was this written, does Miller have any concept of time and realism?
For years Batman's readers have winced at the obvious joke of a pedophile Batman. This story seems to revel in that imagery. God this is awful. I have no words, this is even worse than Act of God.
Please, for the love of everything that is holy, let it be a long time before the next Miller Time. As for the review, I was laughing all the way though it. Fantastic job on a impossibly bad comic.
I'd suggest locking Miller in a room with a series box set of the animated show, just so he had the first clue as to who Batman really was
Thomas
OMG MILLER TIME xD , Great Review Linkara xD
Hey :) Great vid, had me laughing fit to bust a couple of times. I've been having a stressful weekend, and this's got me back up again
One thing that surprised me though, and that's the 'Holy War' line.
Firstly, a war could be considered generically holy, simply by being 'for a good cause' rather than dedicated to a specific belief system. I agree with your point, just giving the other side to that one
Second... No jokes about a certain long planned Frank Millar comic; originally titled 'Holy Terror, Batman'? The one about Batman going to Afghanistan and beating up Bin Ladin? The one that DC ended up not letting him drag Batman through? ;) I mean, it's a semi obscure ref, and likely to bring up political stuff, but still... felt like a missed opportunity there
...Dude, I honestly don't know how you handle stuff like this without vomiting all over it. Seriously.
My gf asked me once if Frank Miller was bipolar. Any comment? lol
Also, any plans to review issues 5 and 6 any time soon?
I felt the same way about the "Black Canary" issue of Adventures with Crazy steve. Plus, there's an issue with All-Star Batgirl coming up, and it's almost the exact same problem: why focus on secondary characters so soon in the series?
That may be the big problem with All-Star Crazy Steve: Frank Miller's focus on Crazy Steve was divded amongst too many other characters that the focus of the book, the relationship between Dick and Steve was tangled up in contradictory time lines and bad monologues.
Im just going to come out and say it. I hate Frank Miller. I won't deny that he brought Batman out of Adam West's shadow, but he is honestly overrated. He thinks that just because he wrote 1 graphic novel that was a critical hit, he can get away with making Batman into an Asshole, Superman into a morally backwards superhero (drawing evidence from Dark Knight Strikes Again), and Wonder Woman into a whore (asshole). I also recently realized something, its not that Frank is crazy, he is, he is not as good a writer as people say. He is terrible.
Also, yeah I have heard of "Dorothy and the Prostitutes of Oz". Didn't Alan Moore write that? Apologies to Alan Moore Fans and himself.
Oh god...I have to ask just WHAT drugs was Frank on when he started writing this?
It almost makes me ashamed to enjoy that part in the "Batman: The Animated Series" episode where they tribute "The Dark Knight Returns".
Just...wow. Did he REALIZE how homoerotic and pedophilic this sounded when he wrote this? Really? REALLY?
As for Irish Black Canary...yes, her robbing people after kicking their asses is bad, but everyone knows the Irish are natural ass kickers. Just ask this guy:
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/083/2/f/wwe_Champion_Sheamus_PSD_by_DecadeofSmackdownV2.png
Do the Irish has secret ninja powers that they haven't told anyone about?
... Yes.
http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/2p14
Do the Irish have secret ninja powers they haven't told anybody about?
... Yes. :)
http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/2p14
your voice sounded really strained and angry in this one, and considering the content of this pile of tripe i honestly dont blame you.
Even Doctor Who couldn't have figured out the whole time paradox with the milk carton!
This comic....wow.
To think that I once considered buying it when it first came out. Now I'm glad I didn't.
It's almost like someone's bad fanfiction has been put into a comic except no thought went into it, all the characters are unlikable and nothing like their original conterparts and now the creators aren't going to finish it.
Actually that sounds a LOT like most fanfiction. Except I've read better fanfiction than ASBAR
Have your read Dr Mcninja? Because if you had, you would know that in fact, yes, the Irish do in fact have inherent ninja powers. Also some of them are trained by Batman.
www.drmcninja.com
Maybe that wasn't Superman, maybe that was Angry Joe!
Every review of this comic brings me two kinds of pain: the horrid character assassination and the hilarious review.
Wow... Er... I have no words about that comic.
However...
As an Irish fan I say you're forgiven for the accent. :P
However I have to be nit-picky. The county Black Canary is "from" here is pronounced Mon-A-Han!
If you count Batman's mother, the background prostitute would actually be the fifth woman to show up, and that's if you're not counting the women in the bar. :P
Well anyway, I enjoyed the review. Personally, my favorite parts were the ones where you were really disturbed.
The title card at the beginning made me laugh, even though Pedo Bear usually gets a "Dude not funny" reaction from me.
"I touched my mother's breast ... It bled on me ..." Like, just, what the hell, Frank? It actually kind of made sense in context of him checking for a heartbeat, but why phrase it like that? "Breast" is technically accurate, but "chest" would not have been quite as squicky with modern connotations. I just ... Wow.
Poor Jim Lee. I'm just picturing him reading the script with this confused and frightened expression the whole time.
By the way, would you mind if I used the "This is my clue stick!" *whacks the camera* bit in a video?
"Hey Linkara, sorry this is off topic or if you've posted this somewhere else but I was wondering if you were going to be attending the Boston Comic Con by any chance? Thanks!"
Sorry to say I currently have no plans to do so. ^^;
When Clark eyebeamed the newspaper, he wasn't even looking at the headline about Dick Grayson (age 12).
Why do I think that Crazy Steve just took out a full page ad of his bare butt with a sign that says "to Superman"
Assbar? What a relevant description of this series. All-Star Superman was amazing and I am very glad to have read it, this series is one I am avoiding like the plague
Wait, Dick Grayson Age 12 was top of his class in every city his circus visited. If they were a traveling circus wouldn't they some sort of homeschool system or other school group within the circus itself for their minor members?
Clark Kent seems to hate milk almost as much as Tony from "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" (I was just itching for a MST3K clip. Maybe next time)
Wow that was bad. Really bad. And yet it has a 3 1/2 star rating on Amazon from customers.
I am not very familar with superhero comics (and a bit afraid to get into them after seeing all those reviews), but how is it that Frank Miller, Writer/Artist of The Dark Knight Returns, which helped make graphic novels popular and is one of the best Batman Graphic Novels, get reduced to writing this bad?
Thanks for the reviews, they help me see what bad comics are and to be aware of what not to do in a comic since I am trying to write and draw my own.
"By the way, would you mind if I used the "This is my clue stick!" *whacks the camera* bit in a video?"
Go right ahead! ^_^
Oh my god...
I must say that was eefin' atrocious!
And the "gentle caress" part I had the exact expression you did, I saw it and laughed.
I've always called this "Assbar" because I've long felt I'd rather have a chunk of rebar shoved up my ass than read it...
So, did DC do a better job of censoring All-Swear Batgirl's dialogue in the trade than they did in the infamous floppy version that got recalled?
Another great review, Linkara. I have to wonder if this Batman series wasn't actually meant to make people feel bad about being fans of the franchise. The title character is horrible in pretty much every way a person can be, and a quarter of the time, they don't even show him.
Thanks for all your hard work on AT4W. It's very much appreciated.
O MY this was Amazing seriously the first half just seamed like the last one out of character here funny joke there. A normal review.
"Black Canary" ... Irish. Ok that is just weired.
Then during the second part my brain turned to mush, by making my favorite butter in any fiction a slave to batman. He was no slave batman looked up to Alfred as a father, and Alfred show love and caring to Bruce Wayne as if he was a sun.
Unrelated Topic Question
What exact time did Frank Millar go completely "bat shit" crazy?
What was running through my mind when I saw the title card: "Ahhhhh... Pedo-Bat!!!"
And...
"And I thought Doctor Pedo from the MegaMan cartoon(early 90's) was creepy!" (more info here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgN6zVU7BzM)
As for the review... Dude! I feel so sorry for you for not only having to read that comic once, but twice!
Also, there is no way that comic was about Batman! I believe that comic was writen by some guy name Steve that was in Arkham Asylum. Some how he got some pen and paper and kept over hearing the Joker's rambles... I want to go with that.
-M4A
Dick hates the name "Batmobile?" In Dark Knight Returns, Batman says he came up with the name! Dark Knight, written by Frank Miller!
Great review of a terrible comic, Linkara.
One thing I'm surprised you didn't mention in the scene with Superman, the milk and the newspaper though...
YES, it makes no sense that they could get Dick Grayson's face on a milk carton that quickly.
YES, it makes no sense for Clark Kent to squeeze the milk carton in anger THEN burn a hole in the paper in anger later.
But what REALLY doesn't make any sense is that Clark Kent, Reporter for the Daily Planet a.k.a. Superman, owner of multiple supersenses that allow him to hear radio waves and hear conversations through the vaccum of space... has somehow missed hearing about what is apparently the hottest story in the nation for 15 hours!
Curse you Frank. I love Black Canary (well Gails mostly) and you almost ruined her. I say almost because after I saw this, I ran to my Birds of Prey issues and was better again.
Oh, and for the rest of this comic, yeah. Just seems to be more of the same from the utter "genius" that is Frank Miller. Was very funny to see.
I would be careful about all those ideas for "Millerized" superheroes, Linkara.
He'd use them. You know he'd use them.
"Captain Picard I need you again!"
That line is just gold. I fell over laughing at that.
Eckhart, was Frank making a reference to Aaron Eckhart, Two Face from the Dark Knight? Or maybe Miller is trying to destroy everything Batman related with this comic series.
I think Miller Time is becoming my favorite bit of yours on here. Crazy Steve... He certainly is...Crazy
"Eckhart, was Frank making a reference to Aaron Eckhart, Two Face from the Dark Knight? Or maybe Miller is trying to destroy everything Batman related with this comic series."
Unlikely, since this came out before even Batman Begins.
@ Lewis Lovhaug
Dude, you're a feminist right? So Why on god's green earth do you like the "Hooters" Bar & Restaurant, SERIOUSLY? Most feminists I know hate that place and want the Slimy P. O. S's that run the place, I am Para-Quoting Bennett The Sage from Kickassia, "And have them castrated with a fork, tie them up to cacti & play Pinata with their entrails!" I somehow don't think they're joking around and somehow I think You're gonna get lynched by your own kind!
Sweet Mother of Mercy, this comic, Gah!
You're a braver man than me, Linkara, for reading this and not ending up like Crazy Steve.
I laughed at some of your stuff in this review, but this comic, it's un-f***ing believable as Christopher Walken's character in Ripper said.
I think this comic could snap Superboy Prime back into sanity.
I'm sorry, but you are a brave man.
I think Darkseid would be traumatized by this comic. :(
Trevor Frost said:
"Hoo Boy, I kind of avoided the All Star series. I kind of knew what was going on in them due to friends, but the more I heard the more stupid it sounded. "
Well, All Star Superman is frickin' awesome and absolutely nothing like this tripe — I'd recommend it.
Also, I think my brain exploded and leaked out my ears when Batman did that to Alfred. Put it this way: believing that Spider-Man would sell his wife in a deal with the devil, that Reed Richards would fight for a registration act that punished lawbreakers with life imprisonment in an artificial Hell, that Mary Marvel would decide to take Darkseid's advice to turn evil right after recovering from her first heel turn, and that Ray Palmer would brutally torture people with the same method that was used to murder his wife, is a piece of cake compared to believing that Bruce Wayne would ever, ever, EVER do that to Alfred.
I haven't heard of THAT particular Oz novel, but i have seen Dorothy go to HELL:
http://cinemassacre.com/2006/06/11/wizard-of-oz-3-dorothy-goes-to-hell-2006/
Ah nuts, everyone beat me to the Dr. McNinja joke. xD
I actually never interpreted the "I touched my mother's breast" line as incestuous at all. Of course, In that context, I think it's just meant to stand for "chest" instead of "boob", and Miller probably wanted to intentionally evoke the image of a baby at his mother's breast to try and wring some more pathos out of the flashback. Surprisingly one of the only parts of narration that DOESN'T make Batma-er, Steve look like an asshole.
Yes! I love Miller Time. Only time everything is so crazy that even The Joker wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of it.
The part with Black Canary only get worse form, as you know, but I'm not too worried about that. Personally I think she's overrated and a HUGE karma houdini. Haven't seen her do the Canary Cry yet, but the mask is a nice touch and could be a subtle way of showing it may NOT be Dinah Lance, but her mother. With the way this series goes, that wouldn't be a big surprise.
The rest of this IS pretty creepy, but with BINO touching his mother's breast, he probably was looking for a heart beat, and it said so, but the wording is just so creepy. Not as creepy as what Dick said when BINO put his hand on his shoulder. Creepiest thing was probably Alfred though since he's suppose to be the only sane man here.
Any chance of continuing the rest of the trade? Sure, it's going to get WAY worst, but it can still give everyone a good chuckle. Hope you do, and if not thanks for doing these 2 extra issues.
Actually, most Irish people are ninjas. We just don't like to brag. Thanks for noticing though.
I always enjoy the reviews of Frank Miller's rambling insanity, but is there any chance you could give us more insight into his liner notes for the artist like last time? Would it even help to understand what he was trying to convey with these comics?
"How did this make it past the editors?"
Alcohol lots of alcohol and possibly drugs.
Minor correction: That R.E.M. song is just called "Superman," not "I am Superman."
Also, turns out it's a cover. Here's the original version, in case you're curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkBmDAB8i6w
Linkara, I actually am Irish so I can't let your Irish accent go without tearing it to shreds ha. Actually I can't blame you since most Irish accents in American made movies are so stereotypically bad. Heck, in the TV show Heroes, Peter Petrelli went to a place called Cork, which is actually where I'm from and nobody sounded remotely like people do here. So assuming that your main exposure to Irish accents has come from American actors with terrible Irish accents I can give you a pass.
For future reference though, Monaghan is actually pronounced as if the G was silent. Mon-a-han.
Nice review as always.
NOOOOOOOO! No Joker Back tattoo!
:( Now I gotta wait another year and a half before Linkara finally gets to #5 & #6!!
(seriously, why is this the only series that doesn't get reviewed on issue after the other?)
I would suggest that Black Canary maybe from some secret ninja academy high in the mountains of scotland but then she wields nunchakus later instead of a traditional ninja weapon like a hammer, blow dryer, or mega phone ;)
Well, Linkara if you are going to continue with the All-Star batman and robin issues later this year, you'll definitely get your wish for clowns...but it'll be weird and off-putting.
Small nitpick
Rats actually are not a carrier of rabies.
http://www.health.state.ri.us/disease/communicable/rabies/transmission.php#notcarry
""I touched my mother's breast ... It bled on me ..." Like, just, what the hell, Frank? It actually kind of made sense in context of him checking for a heartbeat, but why phrase it like that?"
Because he is trying to sound gritty. btw this is a funny Mr. Show sketch that makes fun of this type of writing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa2umu1vILI
I'm not sure who is worse. Joe Quesada or Frank Miller. Comment?
I don't want to defend this comic at all, because, well, it's horrible, and an abominable blight upon the name of Batman, but I didn't read the "I touched her breast" as an implication of incest. Certainly when taken out of contest it's creepy, but in context it's clear there wasn't anything sexual to it.
I say this because so much in this series is so blatantly creepy in context that the whole scene is a relatively minor blip on the radar of "OHMIGAWD WHAT DID YOU DO TO BATMAN?!?!" that is this comic.
linkara you forgot to tag it with miller time
LOL Great review as always. I must admit though, I love that series as a guilty pleasure. It's kind of like the Troll 2 of comics; maybe even the Charlie Sheen of comics, a morally repugnant trainwreck that somehow manages to entertain, mainly for how bad it is as opposed to any kind of intellectual or artistic merit. That's in terms of the writing though, because Jim Lee's art is wonderful as always.
"Dick hates the name "Batmobile?" In Dark Knight Returns, Batman says he came up with the name! Dark Knight, written by Frank Miller!"
Wow... Frank Miller is even screwing up the continuity of something HE WROTE.
I should also mention that Monaghan is pronounced with the g silent :D I'm not nitpicking or complaining, just thought you might want to know the correct pronunciation. Your Irish accent wasn't that bad btw, I'd kind of read the dialogue in an exaggerated Irish accent myself, even though I'm Irish, such is the way it's written haha.
Wasn't Commissioner Gordon a pedophile in "The Dark Knight Returns"? If not, what was this all about?
Maybe "Eckhardt" is this guy?
http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Max_Eckhardt
About the whole "Black Canary needed a man to inspire her" thing.
Why do I get the feeling you wouldn't be complaining if she had said a woman had inspired her to become a crime fighter?
Frank MILLER really needs to stop ABUSING the emphasised WORDS in every SENTIENCE he WRITES!!!
Wow, how time flies. I actually was anticipating this mess of a review back with the "Top 15 WTFs of comics" due to your comments there about Black Canary the Irish Ninja. That didn't dissapoint...even if she did.
And...yeah, what superhero eats rats? I mean, sure I can imagine some random catgirl chasing mice but that's different. What part of "train myself to be the greatest crime fighter" involves eating rats? Oh, and expected Tull in the ending but REM worked.
I'm Irish and I do have special combat training. All I need to is go to a bar drink and kick some ass also forget what happens the next day. LOL
You know Birds of Prey was a series under Chuck Dixion for fifty-six issues before Gail Simmone.
Just to add to the irony "Aqualung" is a song about a pedophile. "Sitting on a park bench/eyeing little girls with bad intent"
so Bats reaches to chech his mom't woudn and desperatedly check if she still has pulse, and you just jump to talk about incest? Black Canary was inspired by Batman, so this means women can only do something when inspired by men? This comic is far from being good, but I think you are just projecting too much and reducing everything to its core basics so you can just twist it to acomodate to your jokes.
"I always enjoy the reviews of Frank Miller's rambling insanity, but is there any chance you could give us more insight into his liner notes for the artist like last time? Would it even help to understand what he was trying to convey with these comics?"
As far as I know, only the first issue had an edition with the script pages, so unfortunately I don't know what Frank was writing after that point beyond what's printed.
I don't know too much about the Batman mythos, but I remember an Eckhart mentioned in the Batman (1989) movie...
Anyway, I hope you get to issues 7 & 8 soon, just so that you can read the funniest line in the book where The Goddamn Batman talks about his Goddamn Batmobile (right after shagging the Goddamn Irish Canary)
"About the whole "Black Canary needed a man to inspire her" thing.
Why do I get the feeling you wouldn't be complaining if she had said a woman had inspired her to become a crime fighter?"
I'd be complaining about another thing: what the sam hell does any of this have to do with a book about Batman and Robin? Really I'm just building a case for recurring elements in Frankie's works.
"You know Birds of Prey was a series under Chuck Dixion for fifty-six issues before Gail Simmone."
Indeed, but IMHO, Gail made it her own.
You know what, I have read the series through and I actually kind of see where Frank Miller was going with this series. In various Batman comics we have heard time and time again that having Robin around helped Batman out of a very dark place in his life. Robin's enthusiasm and sense of humor kept Batman from basically going insane. I think that that was the point of this series.
The reason Batman is so batshit insane is just because Frank was being a super lazy writer. Instead of writing Batman with a believable, or subtle inner darkness. He made him SUPER crazy so that his eventual transformation into the Batman we know would seem like alot more character development than it actually would have been. Plus the infamous delays didn't help in the least bit. Now don't get me wrong, this thing is still ridiculous because of its horrible characterization and annoying narration, but it makes it a litte more tolerable to me. I actually kinda liked the scene at the end of #9 in the graveyard.
Only Frank Miller can bring Batman back to dark roots from his gay form of the Silver Age and only Frank Miller can bring Batman back to his gay roots of the Silver Age!
I'm BooRat, I'm using anonymous because it won't let me log in under my real acount!
Hey linkara, great episode as usual. Anyway I just wanted you to know that a kid getting a black belt isn't as far fetched as the comic claims. How do I know this? I was a witness to a 7 year old receiving a black belt in my karate class! Now don't get me wrong I have no doubt that it seems ludicrous for a kid so young to get a black belt. Yet some how this child was given a black belt, right in front of my eyes. I don't point it out just to contradict you. I was baffled by it when it happened and even to this day it perplexes me to no end when I remember it. I can't explain it either but I saw it happen.
I just don't know why cuz it doesn't make any sense to me either.
Just out of curiosity, there's still a few text reviews that haven't been made into video reviews (Thunderstrike #1, Isaac Asimov's Ibots #1, Badrock #1A)
Any plans to make to make these into video reviews some time in the future?
Ugh, and Batman's my fav of the DC line up... Kinda liked the art work, though.
Fiery Little One.
The comic makes so much more sence when you consider that it's not really batman but Crazy Steve.
I mean even the weird time difference makes sence since it would take him time to figure out how to use the batmobile and whatever guidance system it has in order to even find the bat cave. Although they never mention it one must wonder how many wrong buttons and switches he pressed in the mean time.
Whether the Irish have secret ninja powers?
Well duh!
http://drmcninja.com/
they are also great physicians
"So basically by Frank Miller's own admission here Batman is a rude, murderous child abductor who cares what twelve year-olds think about his toys and eats rats when not mourning the loss of the bloody, incestuous affair he had with his mother."
What?
You mean he isn't?
The publishers (and most readers) over here love Batman being depicted this way.
Most of the stories that get published here either question Batman's sanity (like the Killing Joke or Arkham), or depict him as a magnificent bastard (Kingdom Come, the Dark Knight Returns)
In fact, All-Stars Batman and Robin is rather critically acclaimed over here, even thou the critics still like to point-out that it's not Frank's best work.
Oh, and it also happens to be Black Canary's début over here.
It's telling that All-Star Batman wasn't even considered for an animated adaptation.
What's weird is that ASBAR is referenced in Grant Morrison's Batman and Robin, the part where Grayson says that wearing a hood is a bad idea for a costume. Grant made it awesome though.
Really, given how Crazy Steve is treating Dick Grayson (Age 12) I think we can now understand why he became the villain in the Dark Knight Strikes again since this is set in the same universe.
One question about Irish Black Canary though, just wondering where it was specified that she's Irish. Is it in the narration text boxes or is her diologue written in a way that makes it sound like an Irish accent (what TV Tropes refers to as a Funetik Aksent)? Just wondered.
"I'm not sure who is worse. Joe Quesada or Frank Miller. Comment?"
Joe Quesada
without a doubt
I don't understand why Frank Miller seems so obsessed on making everything so dark and depressive with Batman. Aren't there a lot of other comic book heroes that are better suited for just this kind of style? Like for example the Punisher? Whenever I see people draw comic book heroes as evil assholes who goes around killing people I can't help but wonder if these creators even have looked at other comic book characters who acts more like they want their hero to act.
What I find most surprising is the apparent total lack of editorial oversight. I wonder what the office chatter at DC was like when Miller's scripts came in and DC staffers read them.
of course the irish are ninjas?
what do you nina and anna from tekken are (and yes i made a similar comment on lewis'youtube video of top wtf moments so time ago)
A fantastic review as always, Linkara! I have to say that the title card for the video version of this episode cracked me up to the point of tears. I find it really hard to swallow that Miller gets away with his characterizations ... but from your end note about the future of this book being in question, maybe people are starting to wise up and stop eating these piles of tripe with a smile.
"Kiss me mother kiss your darlin'
Lay my head upon your breast
Throw your loving arms around me
I am weary let me rest"
First the Cox Family, now Batman. Pervs!
Aaaaan now I really want you to review issue 7, in which Batman and Black Canary HAVE SEX ON THE PAVEMENT !
"We keep our masks on. It's better this way." (face palm).
yay no storyline nonsense. You're learning, Linkara! I'm proud of you
Wow, just... wow.
I DEMAND A CONTEST BETWEEN MILLER AND QUESADA! TO SEE WHO IS THE WORST WRITER!
It's Miller Time again! I'm always torn between dreading it because of the sheer insanity and misogyny of Frank Miller and looking forward to it because of your hilarious and righteous reactions to his horrible comics. It's always great to see you tear Frank Miller a new one. :)
Speaking of Miller, what is his problem? Why does he have such issues with women? Why is he determined to completely ruin Batman's character and portray him as a cruel and psychotic lunatic who treats Dick and Alfred abominably? And not only that, but for some reason, he’s determined to make Batman completely antagonistic towards Superman, even though the two of them are supposed to be good friends. If I didn't know better, I'd say that Miller hated Batman and that's why he makes him completely loathsome. Satire, my foot.
Yes, it was so tasteful of Mr. Miller to objectify Vicki Vale while she was going through surgery. It was completely necessary for us to see Vicki thrust her impossibly huge chest in the air while flailing on a hospital bed. You see, Linkara, the medics couldn't have given her sedatives or strapped her down by that point, because then we couldn't have gotten that lovely shot of her “sexily” writhing on her bed. Who says that people can’t be turned on by the sight of a gravely wounded woman in a hospital? *head-desk*
And poor Black Canary...was she supposed to be a strawman of feminists? "Yeah, she beats up all of the men in the bar and robs them because of what a few men did to her and she force-feeds a guy with his wedding ring. Because feminists hate men and marriage, don't you know?" Dear Lord.
And no, I don't know why Miller made her Irish. Or why he made her boss look like a leprechaun. So, not only has Miller degraded women and Batman, he's degraded the Irish as well. Nice.
By the way, your facial expressions after reading such infamous lines as, “I touched my mother’s breast. It bled on me,” were simply priceless. XD
Another great review Linkara.
I can ignore the 'breast' line for thinking it was just BINO checking for a heartbeat, I can ignore Dick being such a spoiled dick when seeing the Batcave for the first time.
But the way Dick talks about BINO's fingers gripping him...
And Batman shoving Alfred into a way and hating him for not being his slave...
That's too much.
So... next time you gonna do Spawn/Batman I heard BINO in that one makes this Batman look sane!
Great review Linkara, you had me in stitches, just a tiny note: although I understand your disbelief that Robin could get a black belt at so young an age, my younger brother got his black belt at age 9, and my sister got hers at age 10.
SICK SICK SICK! Is Frank Miller a person who has sex with everything and anyone ? Never in my life have i seen a comic that contains eyecandy, incest and pedophile in it. God! Linkara BURN THAT COMIC!
I'm surprised Linkara didn't do this bit:
"Do you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"
You're absolutely correct that this is an example of what NOT to do in writing, but it's being laid on a bit thick. A comic you take a personal dislike to?
On another note, what is it with Miller and the word 'chunks'? We hear it used to Black Canary (presumably in reference to her buttocks but I can't tell) and then for the kid to vomit?
As much as I love the idea of an ass-kicking superheroine barmaid, that much violence was definitely uncalled for.
IMHO, the worst part is, it would have been easy to put her in a situation where that kind of reaction would be plausible. Say, the guys that hit on her were part of a gang, and after she knocked some sense into them, the rest of the bunch gang up on her. Awesome fight scene, less confusing moral issues.
But making the guy swallow his own wedding ring? That's almost as unnecessary as gunning down a pregnant woman.
Overall, I just wonder, is Frank Miller even trying?
"I'd be complaining about another thing: what the sam hell does any of this have to do with a book about Batman and Robin? Really I'm just building a case for recurring elements in Frankie's works."
Then why didn't you just say that in the first place?
You were clearly trying to claim this as an example of sexism, when it really isn't one. If you had a valid complaint that didn't require a dubious sexism accusation, you really ought to have said that instead.
This is why people like me have a hard time taking people who complain about sexism in comics seriously. When you point to things like this, which are clearly not examples of sexism, and make sexism accusations anyway, you undermine your entire position. Why do you think one of the most common complaints against feminists is that they see sexism where it doesn't exist? It's because many times you are seeing sexism where it doesn't exist.
I'm not saying ASBAR isn't sexist in other ways, or that sexism doesn't exist in comics (although I would contest your implied argument that it's a serious problem that we should all be worried about, but that's another debate). But when you make dubious accusations like this, people are more likely to write you off as the kind of grievance-mongering feminist who sees sexism and discrimination under every rock.
"yay no storyline nonsense. You're learning, Linkara! I'm proud of you"
There were storyline elements in the Backstreet Project #1. If you'll recall both previous storylines, there are story bits at the end of a few sparse episodes here and there and mostly reviews. The Vyce storyline was an exception because of all the stuff that needed to be tied up and established for its finale.
The story is not going away. There are always more episodes without story than with it. It has ALWAYS been that way.
"I don't know too much about the Batman mythos, but I remember an Eckhart mentioned in the Batman (1989) movie..."
He was the corrupt cop that helped set up Jack Napier at the chemical plant.
Jack Napier: Why, Eckhardt, you oughta think about the future.
Eckhardt: You mean when you run this show? You ain't got no future, Jack! You're an A-1 nut boy and Grissom knows it!
Linkara you have gone down to the worst comics ever made. Its just that sometimes its kinda of annoying whenever you actually talk about a point when breasts are shown i mean its like you never actually can't get off that topic at all and can't accept that at all. but overall though your right on most of this review well Their is something that wouldn't care would happen in a comic. I wouldn't mind a comic in the future where superman is a cold blood killer again just like in the 30s it would be nice after all superman doesn't have much in a personality to me. But that's what I think and thus it it shouldn't affect you
there's a question i have about this, is all-star superman in the same universe as this, because in all-star superman he talked about his adventures with batman, and i doubt he was talking about this guy
"there's a question i have about this, is all-star superman in the same universe as this, because in all-star superman he talked about his adventures with batman, and i doubt he was talking about this guy"
No, they are not set in the same universe.
*laughs* Great video and even though I've never really read Frank Miller, I get more disturbed with the more I hear about him.
By the way, Irish Ninjas do exist, at least in Dr McNinja: http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/2p14
^_^
Wow, you were in fine form with this one. You don't work yourself up into such a froth often, which makes this all the more hilarious. I think you hit on everything bad about Miller's work-- the misogyny, the excruciating writing, the utter nonsense, the misogyny, the misogyny...
@mightysamurai: Linkara probably wouldn’t complain about a woman inspiring Black Canary to fight because that isn’t as common as the reverse and it doesn’t have the same context and implications as the reverse. Batman being the sole inspiration for Black Canary’s behavior wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t have so many other examples of men being the sole motivation for women’s behavior, if we weren’t constantly told by culture and media that everything women do has to be related to men in some way.
If you know about the Bechdel test, you should realize that even in this day and age, there are still a disproportionately large amount of movies that fail that test. In Black Canary’s case, it’s even worse. She’s not just talking about a man; her own actions are about a man. How many times do we see a male character motivated to do something because of a woman? No, not because the woman has been kidnapped, not because the woman has been killed, not because he wants to win her love, but because he was honestly inspired by her? Because she set an example for him and he wanted to be just like her? It doesn’t just have to be about fighting; a male character could be inspired by a female character who was a really great athlete, a really great writer, a really great businesswoman – in other words, extremely talented in any number of fields.
If a woman was Black Canary’s inspiration, it would be seen as more empowering because they’re both women. Since Batman is male, he being Black Canary’s inspiration – despite her having plenty of enough motivation already – just serves as yet another example of a woman needing to be motivated by a man to do something, which leads to the assumption that women can’t accomplish anything on their own without a man’s help or influence, which is, in fact, sexist.
Linkara, not nitpicking or anything but i just thought I'd let you know i got my black belt at 9 and half lol and god these comics are awful
THIS COMIC IS MOLESTING MY BRAIN! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!
MY....... GOD.....I feel sick for even liking Sin City now.
I mean what the hell happened to him? I mean from the The Dark knight comic to sin city and then to this abomination of fiction.
Hell Duke Nukem should use that comic for toliet paper in upcomming game, its certainly worthy of that and atleast then it would have served some sort of purpose.
On a sidenote on your last ever review of Frank's terribile stuff you oughta take all of these shitty comics out to a gun range, light them on fire and blow them to hell with a shotgun.
it would make ONE hell of a cool spectacle and be sort of a nice FU to frank from the comic readers for creating these abominations.
Oh nearly forgot, great review by the way, I'm just shocked at how despicable this comic is
But . . . but . . . Jethro Tull is Heavy Metal!
I usually read manga but all star super man was one of the first american comics I have read and I still think its awesome to a point that after I read it I actually named the frog character from the ds remake of chrono trigger grant.
Poor people are crazy, Linkara. Batman's eccentric!
I like how despite the fact Clark Kent works at the Daily Planet, he had no idea this kidnapping made its front page. Was it his day off or something?
What I really don't get though is the fact he's clearly outraged by this kidnapping, and Miller sets him up to do something about it, and the next time he appears, he's just playing errand boy for Batman. Did he just forget about the kidnapping?
The rivalry between Batman and Superman has always felt so forced to me. I suppose its no secret that the entire purpose of their rivalry is blatant fan service, but I think it's been overdone, and its done badly so much of the time.
Maybe my experiences with the topic have been biased, but how many superman books have there been where there's an argument presented for him being better than Batman?
"Maybe my experiences with the topic have been biased, but how many superman books have there been where there's an argument presented for him being better than Batman?"
None, because they don't have to. In all honesty, Superman could literally fly into the cave, grab Batman, and lift him 5,000 feet in the air to show who's truly more powerful. Preparation doesn't do jack against someone with super-speed, intelligence, strength, and determination.
It's just he doesn't NEED to. Plus the Superman writers never have to compare sizes with Batman.
And if you don't believe this could ever happen, in the build-up to Infinite Crisis, a mind-altered Superman almost beat Batman to death without difficulty.
"The rivalry between Batman and Superman has always felt so forced to me. I suppose its no secret that the entire purpose of their rivalry is blatant fan service, but I think it's been overdone, and its done badly so much of the time."
I should also note that the rivalry pretty much was invented by Frank Miller, who believed that the two would never be friends because of their differing philosophies.
"is there a god of vigilante-ism ?"
There are gods supporting vigilante-ism. For example, Jewish lawful evil god Yahwe, in the Bible, orders to kill "unruly children" for the most minor of crimes, even though today it would be clearly illegal in most nations on the planet. Incidents include Yahwe personally killing several dozens of youths just for insulting someone.
Linkara's right. It is misogyny.
There ARE Irish ninjas. Dr. McNinja and his family for one. Sadly, almost all Irish ninjas were killed druing the ninja massacres of the 1980s when various guys in mullets and tank-tops would plow through hoards of ninjas without discrimination. There is only one Danish ninja left, and the nobal German and Italian ninjas are now extinct. With only one family of Irish ninja left, we may see the extinction of every variety of ninja save the Japanese Black within our lifetime.
Hey, I keep hearing that you did a text review of allstar batman and robin but try as I might I cant seem to find it, does anyone have a link to these reviews? Thanks :)
On the comics, this is sickening just how much Frank Miller had absolutely NO Zorking clue as to what Batman was really all about, to me it would be ok if Batman was presented as a real vigilante and will occasionally kill a criminal, but only as an elseworld story, but this? This is absolutely atrocious and spit in the face to Batman fans.
Frank Miller is a HORRIBLE writer who needs to be fired and never allowed to touch a comic book superhero every again, and I feel so bad for Jim Lee, who's artwork I've seen in other comic books, its absolutely gorgeous and really helps draw you in, even making pretty dumb stories tolerable because of how beautifully they're drawn, but not even he can save the absolute mess that this comic book series is.
Great review Linkara.
Luo:
Two things:
1. That was in reference to young adults committing repeated violent felonies. Most of the time you could simply say your sorry and make restitution, but repeat violent offenders did not get pity.
2. The "children" in this passage were again, Young adults (most likely in their twenties) who not just mocked the guy but also assaulted him. It was in defense.
Context: learn it. Hebrew: Learn it.
Frank's...er "issues" with women make reading even his good comics kind of painful.
Here? It's absolutely nightmarish.
It never ends with Frankie, does it? The man always finds new ways to further stomp down on the remnants of his credibility.
"I should also note that the rivalry pretty much was invented by Frank Miller, who believed that the two would never be friends because of their differing philosophies."
Actually, it was Jennette Kahn, former publisher at DC who was responsible for Crisis On Infinite Earths. She didn't believe that Superman and Batman being friends was believable. Miller is the one who popularized it, though.
It's funny, today I was at the comic store to pick up Sweet Tooth #20, and I heard the cashier and the guy in front of me talking, and the cashier says "I stopped liking Miller a loooooooong time ago." Having been a long time fan of this show, Miller Time in particular, that put a big smile on my face. :)
This. This. This. THIS kind of crap is what constantly niggles in the back of my mind when I think about giving Miller another chance.
Whether or not you think Batman is the greatest superhero, or whether or not you are sensitive to portrayals of certain characters in an uncharitable light, there is something to be said about good writing, solid characterization, and selling the characters and drama to the audience.
When your characters are all completely unlikable creeps and there is no one for the audience to sympathize with or root for, you have a problem.
When your plot makes no sense even within the confines of your comic's universe (mind you this Elseworld is supposed to be completely of Miller's making), you have a problem.
When the entire premise and execution of your comic manages to alienate both audiences committed to the character and audiences committed to your work, you have a--you get the point.
Thanks for taking these comics down a peg, Sweet Cakes.
Repetition is one of the most powerful tools in the writer's armoury. Unfortunately, Mr Miller is using it to bludgeon his own narrative to death. Is he being paid by the word or something?
Also... a conversation between Superman and Batman as scripted by Mr Miller:
Superman: Damn!
Batman: Shut up.
Superman: Damn!
Batman: Shut up.
Superman: Damn!
Batman: Shut up.
Superman: *lifts random car above head*
Dick Grayson, aged 12: That is totally queer.
Etcetera...
Two Things:
1) All Star Batman and Robin...I think it's 6 (the one with Green Lantern) is ACTUALLY kinda sorta good. The whole "painting ourselves yellow" is ridiculous, but when Dick Grayson goes too far and nearly kills Hal, Batman's freak-out at the monster he's created is ACTUALLY kind of a great moment.
2) It's so sad to me that the man who basically gave us comic book pacing (put lots of dialog when you want the reader to move slow, very little when you want them to move fast, as in a fight), almost literally the man who told writers "QUIT PUTTING TONS OF LINES OF DIALOG DURING ONE PANEL OF A FIGHT!" fall so low and become SO consumed by his own ego.
When you are nto cramming some badly written story into yoru reviews you are making very rambly reviews that are only barely reviews nowadays.
As some have pointed out (among the sea of "OH SO AWESOME! I AM NEVER READING A FRANK MILLER COMIC, LINKARA YOU ROCK; BURN IT" tool comments) The jump to incestual interpretation of that line, well thats BAD reviewing, I have read this comic, and at no pint while reading that line did I think incest, or like in your header "that batman was havign an incestual affair with his mother",
What are you gonna be squicked when Barbara kisses his father on the cheek too? you are so obviously just twisting everythign to acomodate to your hate rambling, an you continue with your very narrow definitions of what a character or a story should be like. Batman is a crazy guy, he always has been, he dresses like a bat to scare criminals because of a hard case of post traumatic disorder for the loss of hsi parents, thats not sanity, now by sayign he is insane, that does NOT mean that he is a bad character, if you can't read a comic with a troubled character or a villianous main character I seriously don't know what the hell are you doing making reviews.
Your complains about sexism in comics have gotten more and more bitchy and stupid. There is sexism in comics, but you are using that word as a catch all term. Yes there are whores in this comic, SO? there are rapists, muggers, corrupt cops, Thugs and second rate hitmen, and The Goddam Batman, WHat is your Fuckign point? All women in every comic have to be Lawyers and doctors? you can't simpathyse with a character that is a prostitute? instead of worryign about "OH NOES! NO ROLE MODELS IN THSI COMIC!!!" worry about what the comic actualy delivers in story and characterization. Your complains about sexism come off as very bitchy and filled to the brim with double standars. "Oh it would have been better if a woman was theo en that inspried her, it would have been more empowering", are you that obtuse? don't you realize THAT is what is sexist?
Now you keep bitching about "THIS IS NOT BATMN!!!!" "THIS IS NOT HOW BATMAN IS PROTRAYED IN THE MAIN LINE!!!" well guess what, this is a stand alone comic, your refusal to read almsot anythign that aren't superheroes (by your own admission) apparently has lef t you a very narrow perspective on story telling, this comic is not meant to eb taken seriously, is it so hard to notice all the obvious INTENTIONAL RIDICULOUS things? Peopel complained about "the Goddam Batman" he started using that line more and more, but then yo usay "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BATMAN", what? does everybody have to write the same thing in their books? You start making personal Jabs and very tired jokes about Miller, the "WHore whores whores" joke is so stupidly shallow I can't beleive people take your reviews liek if they had merit, but okay write this off as trolling and ignore it.
Also your ramble about the DIlbert guy was very VERY stupid o twitter, you really did not red hsi article properly, poor reading skills on a comic reviewer? heh.
"When you are nto cramming some badly written story into yoru reviews you are making very rambly reviews that are only barely reviews nowadays."
The story elements of my show are easily skippable and you don't need to watch them if you don't want to. EVERY episode contains a review and I give my thoughts on the comic as it goes along. Maybe you don't think it's a good review, but it's still a review.
"As some have pointed out (among the sea of "OH SO AWESOME! I AM NEVER READING A FRANK MILLER COMIC, LINKARA YOU ROCK; BURN IT" tool comments) The jump to incestual interpretation of that line, well thats BAD reviewing, I have read this comic, and at no pint while reading that line did I think incest, or like in your header "that batman was havign an incestual affair with his mother", "
Yes, funny things, reviews - they are subjective. It was my immediate response upon reading it and for others it wasn't. No one has to agree with me on it.
"you are so obviously just twisting everythign to acomodate to your hate rambling, an you continue with your very narrow definitions of what a character or a story should be like."
I can think of at least five different ways the line could have been written so as to get the point across without using language that could easily be misinterpreted by the reader (and easily taken out of context, for that matter).
"Batman is a crazy guy, he always has been, he dresses like a bat to scare criminals because of a hard case of post traumatic disorder for the loss of hsi parents, thats not sanity, now by sayign he is insane, that does NOT mean that he is a bad character, if you can't read a comic with a troubled character or a villianous main character I seriously don't know what the hell are you doing making reviews."
As with all things, different interpretations. However, Batman is not a story about amateur psychology hour, it's a story about a man so dedicated to fighting crime and corruption that he goes to extreme measures to do so. If people wish to do a Batman story about the darker aspect of his nature, that's fine, but Frank Miller is not intentionally writing a story about a crazy Batman that the reader has no sympathy for - at least that's not what he was hired to do. As someone who has written some of the most iconic appearances of the character, he is considered an "all-star" creator, thus it was believed he would be capable of creating another iconic story to compete with Marvel's "fresh" takes on characters in their Ultimate line. Instead, he created a badly-written story.
"Your complains about sexism in comics have gotten more and more bitchy and stupid. There is sexism in comics, but you are using that word as a catch all term. Yes there are whores in this comic, SO? there are rapists, muggers, corrupt cops, Thugs and second rate hitmen, and The Goddam Batman, WHat is your Fuckign point? All women in every comic have to be Lawyers and doctors? you can't simpathyse with a character that is a prostitute?"
No, Sin City was a story that featured characters that are prostitutes. Batman Year One has a character who is a prostitute. This is a story where prostitutes exist, but none of them are characters, they're just in the background and Frank creates another character to be sex-obsessed in her initial appearance and then make a superheroine known not for sex appeal but for how badass she is into nothing more than a sexual object for others who then, instead of being badass, becomes murderous. Also, she is not actually a part of the Batman mythos, yet 14 pages of a comic were devoted to her.
"instead of worryign about "OH NOES! NO ROLE MODELS IN THSI COMIC!!!" worry about what the comic actualy delivers in story and characterization."
Where did I ever say "Oh noes, no role models in this comic?" I did focus on what the comic actually delivers in story and characterization. The story is slow, taking several issues to travel to the batcave after the initial plot point of Dick's parents' murder. Again, 14 pages dedicated to a character that is not actually important to the overall story and focusing in on other heroes instead of the two that the book is about (even more so in Issue 5, which we haven't gotten to). The characterization is equally all over the place - this hyper-charged, murderous Batman does not jibe with the evolution of the character and his behavior is hypocritical and unbalanced.
"Your complains about sexism come off as very bitchy and filled to the brim with double standars. "Oh it would have been better if a woman was theo en that inspried her, it would have been more empowering", are you that obtuse? don't you realize THAT is what is sexist?"
I never said that either. In the comments, I stated that had she been inspired by a woman, my complaints would still stand about it not actually being about the verbal and physical abuse she takes in her job and how, again, her presence here is irrelevant.
"Now you keep bitching about "THIS IS NOT BATMN!!!!" "THIS IS NOT HOW BATMAN IS PROTRAYED IN THE MAIN LINE!!!" well guess what, this is a stand alone comic, your refusal to read almsot anythign that aren't superheroes (by your own admission) apparently has lef t you a very narrow perspective on story telling, this comic is not meant to eb taken seriously, is it so hard to notice all the obvious INTENTIONAL RIDICULOUS things?"
Funny, because I was under the impression Frank was hired to produce a serious story for a serious company. There is, of course, a multitude of ways that Batman can be presented as and does not need to be limited to the way he is portrayed in the main series. But if we are take Frank Miller's word that this is in the same continuity as his previous "Dark Knight Returns" universe, then it does not jibe with the characterizations presented in Dark Knight Returns (which, by the way, were meant to be an extension of the mainline comic universe at the time, since the "Elseworlds" imprint did not exist at that point).
"Peopel complained about "the Goddam Batman" he started using that line more and more, but then yo usay "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BATMAN", what? does everybody have to write the same thing in their books? You start making personal Jabs and very tired jokes about Miller, the "WHore whores whores" joke is so stupidly shallow I can't beleive people take your reviews liek if they had merit, but okay write this off as trolling and ignore it."
Miller has a tendency to write his female characters as if they are prostitutes (or, at least, HIS VERSION of prostitution). He's the one who writes the books and we, as readers, interpret them and notice motifs and recurring elements in his work.
"Also your ramble about the DIlbert guy was very VERY stupid o twitter, you really did not red hsi article properly, poor reading skills on a comic reviewer? heh."
You're of course free to disagree with me. However, I would say that you not write comments while drunk, since you come across as very immature or, at least, incapable of writing sentences with proper grammar and spelling and punctuation. Unless you aren't drunk and just can't write.
I don't want to be one of "those" people, but being Irish myself I'd thought I'd point out that it's pronounced as if it was spelt "monahan". Overall though this was a good review and I merely point it out to inform you and not to criticise you.
First... ouch. That had to hurt.
Second, I'm kind of a newbie to the comic world still, and as such have no prior attachments to any particular series. (On that, I really appreciate your recommendation list, Linkara. Thank you!)
This leaves me very unbiased towards any particular characters, writers, artists, etc. So I can see where Linkara is coming from with the Frank Miller issues, and I completely agree. This is definitely NOT BATMAN, and this comic deserves to be up on a pedestal. You can argue all you want about "dark stories" and "insane characters", but even as a stand alone story, this fails hard. It's a worse shift than Superman At Earth's End was, and that was WAY off.
26:00 - Wait there's also Batman's mother, who he kept talking about touching her breasts...yeeeaah that did not help the argument at all now did it?
Irish do have secret ninja powers.
http://drmcninja.com/
What.
To properly illustrate the extent to which I found that opening sequence excessive: If I were ever to open a bar in the DC universe, I would rather see Rorschach walk in than Black Canary.
Now THAT is saying something.
I don't know why Miller made Canary Irish, but in my book, at least, an Irish/Scottish brogue adds +10 cool points.
Even her, yes, (giving her a grand total of 7), but good examples include: Fr. Alexander Anderson (Hellsing), Patrick Galloway (Clive Barker's Undying), Buster Kilrain (Gettysburg), and Ulthane (Darksiders).
To be really honest, Allstar is one of my favorite comics. You just have to read it from a different perspective.
It failed hard at what it was supposed to do, being a easy to jump in introduction to new readers.
But it's a fun read about a view to how the Batman universe would be if well...written by a psychopath. It's pretty darn funny.
Grab some popcorn, don't take it too seriously and you'll love it.
Must admit, I love these reviews though! As always!
Would it be fair to say that burning this comic is an insult to fire?
I and BATMAN! I like to KIDNAP little BOYS and leave them in a CAVE where they have to KILL RATS and BATS and they get served HAMBURGERS from ALFRED!!!
I call it the BATMOBILE!
I TOUCHED MY MOTHERS BREAST!!!
IT BLED ON ME!!!
Ok, I'm going to admit it. I actually like the anti-social Batman, but ONLY because its FUNNY!
It has been some time, hasn't it?
In any case, my commentary on this is simple, and direct. I actually respond to Canary, as if she were a person, as if she existed. I react, and therefore think of her as, someone who actually exists. This did not happen with Vicki Vale, who was so ludicrously over the top wandering around in her underwear that it was impossible to take her as existing in the context of even a freaking comic book and therefore she failed even as sex object. Canary, in her first appearance, succeeds not only as eye-candy but in convincing me this is an actual person, someone who would be capable of meaningful conversation. (These two things may be related.)
Then the narrator starts describing her thoughts. And she ceases to be real.
It's this, this strange ability to summon total unreality instantly, that marks the writings of Frank Miller. I confess I do not understand how such unreality was summoned, which word or phrase did it. It seems to exist from the first letter. It is not the device of the narrator; I can accept that and have accepted that before. It is not the wording or the phraseology.
It is Frank Miller, undiluted, somehow reaching out from the page and dispelling all hope of suspension of disbelief with his super stealth magic powers. I really don't know how else to describe it, but it happens in all his work. The moment someone is talking or narrated about they cease to be real. I really do find this fascinating, since I had no idea how the hell it's done.
Wait... I just had a thought to refute your X-ray vision arguement. If Steve knew of Superman's X-ray vision, couldn't he have put a layer of lead in his mask. Admittedly this would have required some intelligence on Miller's part, but it also makes sense for Steve's insanity: lead Poison.
Man, I love Miller Time. It's the one time people troll you and I get to watch you shoot them down like pixels in Duck Hunt, and of course a crappy comic to make fun of. :D
Oh, and as for Superman's apparent crushing of the Milk Carton, I don't think it has anything to do with Dick Grayson being on it. See, I'm under the impression that the Millerverse Superman suffers from Edward Elric Syndrome. Symptoms include "Short Man's Disease," which was explored in Mystery Science Theater 3000 with Tom Servo's brief affliction with it, an unusually choleric temper, fits of irrational and violent behavior and, in numerous cases, an inexplicable hatred of Milk. It is truly a most tragic disease that afflicts hundreds... Well... Tens... But it happens!
You know what is the best in your narration ? It's the fact you made the hilarious even more hilarious...LMAO...seriously you almost made me piss my self with your ridiculous gentleman's feminist (i can't accept you as just a feminist, after all you still are a man enough to stand for your own opinion and that something i can respect in any man doesn't matter how exaggerated misguided he may be) point of view.
Comic books are for the most part a gentlemen's club but of course not your kind of gentleman, No Sir. It's something, like what Mr. Miller write, for the crude of heart that has being sissyfied in the past few years for the politically correctiveness and those self proclaimed righteous indignant.
If you don't like it don't read it and if is your job spit over the hard labor of others fine go ahead, just don't forget to made people like me laugh at least a little bit. I can always made fun about what you said later.
In resume, you are funny. Ridicule hilarious and yet absolutely misguided from my point of view, who cares what you say since you made a few good laughs.
And why we didn't saw All Star Batman and Robin #5 and #6 Review in the past 6 months ?
"You know what is the best in your narration ? It's the fact you made the hilarious even more hilarious...LMAO...seriously you almost made me piss my self with your ridiculous gentleman's feminist (i can't accept you as just a feminist, after all you still are a man enough to stand for your own opinion and that something i can respect in any man doesn't matter how exaggerated misguided he may be) point of view.
Comic books are for the most part a gentlemen's club but of course not your kind of gentleman, No Sir. It's something, like what Mr. Miller write, for the crude of heart that has being sissyfied in the past few years for the politically correctiveness and those self proclaimed righteous indignant.
If you don't like it don't read it and if is your job spit over the hard labor of others fine go ahead, just don't forget to made people like me laugh at least a little bit. I can always made fun about what you said later.
In resume, you are funny. Ridicule hilarious and yet absolutely misguided from my point of view, who cares what you say since you made a few good laughs.
And why we didn't saw All Star Batman and Robin #5 and #6 Review in the past 6 months ?"
I am sorry, but I call bullcrap on this. Yes, feminist movement has become bunch of femi-nazi assholes, but saying Linakra is misguided, because he hates the fact, that women in this are potrayed as sex objects and idiots (and feminist symbols as insane psychos in later issues), is just ignorant.
this book and other crap the comic biz has be vomiting out is the reason I haven't set foot in a comic store for years
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