Monday, July 29, 2013

Marville #5

I would rather watch Quest for Fire than read this. Namely because nobody TALKED in Quest for fire.


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LucasChad said...

Man, so much stuff going on in the comic. Suddenly, X-Men Origins: Wolverine made more sense by comparison.

Speaking of which, I did see the new Wolverine movie over the weekend and enjoyed it immensely! I liked the way they took a more dramatic approach to the character and made it an engrossing action film. Definitely miles better than Origins! If you haven't seen it yet Linkara, I hope my glowing review helps!

By the by, you may want to do something about the cover problem on this post. I might suggest censoring the girl's rear end.

Anonymous said...

How can a Comic Line which begins with Ted Turner karate chopping a Meteor turn into a Fifth Grader’s Paper on the Morality of God, The Universe and Evolution!?

Also, they seem to have the belief their science is ‘So Insightful’ and ‘Smart’. But considering that they have a Time Machine made out of Playstation Consoles and Atari Controllers, They have surrendered any right to us taking their Science Beliefs seriously.

Also, HOW DARE they say “Those People who think this Are Wrong Cause They Didn’t Witness Evolution!”, whilst Bill Jemas hasn’t either!
You can’t just say “You weren’t there, so you’re wrong!” whilst giving what you think happened without having witnessed it too! That’s called; Hypocrisy!!!

Jack’s “Comics Are The Path To Enlightenment Cause They Have Pictures” line is just ignorant. Comic Books are a form of Entertainment! Does Bill Jemas think that the stories of all the DC & Marvel Heroes are actually Biography Comics!?
Does he think the Captain America Films are Historical Dramas!?

Also, Where is there picture evidence that says Duckbilled Dinosaurs talked!?
Or where’s the Picture Evidence that “Being The First Of Your Species Makes You Immortal”!? What, was Charles Dickens in “The Riddle” the first of a New Kind of Species!?

Also, It is possible for two species to mate. I know that a Dingo & A Fox mating creates the New Guinea Singing Dog, which is known to be able to climb trees.

How is Wolverine so skilled at anything if he’s only been a Human for Five Seconds!? How does he know anything about present day or speech? If you Evolve as you Travel in the Time Machine, why didn’t Al’s group evolve too!?

Also, How does going back in Time and getting a Bullcrud Lecture on Evolution and what species can mate with one another make people worthy enough to Prevent World War III!?
What, Did Kennedy and Khrushchev head on an Adventure through Human History during the Cuban Missile Crisis!?

Nice to see Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged make a Cameo in this too. It actually makes your Advert Bumpers dressed as a Yu-Gi-Oh Character linked.

Speaking of Doctor Who and the Cavemen, this Year they released a Comic called “Hunters Of The Burning Stone” where these Alien beings make the Cavemen from “10,000BC” God Like beings, who abduct Ian & Barbara asking them to teach them something they didn’t understand, before the Eleventh Doctor shows up and prevent the Aliens plans to turn the People of Earth into Primitive Beings.
Ian & Barbara are able to teach the Cavemen the idea of Compassion and putting someone else’s well being before ones self, like what the Doctor does. Before the Cavemen sacrifice themselves to protect the Earth from the Alien Threat.
The difference between that and Marville is that 1. It didn’t spend Three Issues blabbing about the Morality of God and Evolution and 2. ‘Hunters Of The Burning Stone’ was a GOOD Story!

Promise that you’ll burn all Six/Seven Issues once you do all of them, please?

William Keating said...

I had a feeling you would mention the Liger/ Tiglons, I also thought of Mules, Zorses and Zonkeys. Not to mention most genetics expert think that human descended from European humans have a little Neanderthal in their DNA.

World War 3, this comic has somehow made a link to Endtown, thankfully that great web-comic will not have it's dignity ruined by Marville, Marville lost it's on the first page of issue 1.

The science is just non-existent. How on earth could this comic get passed. Then again Hit Entertainment passed "His firebox was on fire", you know when I think executive, especially those for a company in the media industry I automatically think of "The Money Song" from Monty Python.

Unknown said...

"the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 6th, and 8th, Star Trek movies"

I guess Into Darkness didn't hold up so well for Linkara after all, or he just forgot it due to having read this comic, I would believe either possibility.

Anonymous said...

Unless it gets changed. The Fact Photobucket removed your original image just makes one seem all the more funnier.

Anonymous said...

Linksano had every right to give the finger. This comic is god awful!

Megan said...

(Looks like Blogger didn't like the cover) :O

Oh. My. God. AN IDIOT. ['Scuse me a sec-*drains bottle of booze*]

OK-cross species:
Tions(male tiger, female lion)

Hell, just Google 'Hybrid Animals.'

Unknown said...

I have to give credit to Marville. Its logic is is so friggin' stupid, it inspired me to do my own research regarding human evolution.

So if Wolverine is the first human and mated with Neanderthals, is this comic implying that humans evolved from Neanderthals? Because that is flat out wrong, we evolved from Homosapiens, a different species than the Neanderthal.

Also, I have to wonder why in the hell Bill Jemas decided to change Marville from a parody comic to the study of evolution and how he thought its change in direction would result in more people buying it? If he wanted more people to buy it.

Final thought: ow, my head!!

Shanethefilmmaker said...

Pardon my french but is it normal to have a bad copper like taste in your mouth after hearing the stupidity that is Marville? If not I think I should call an ambulance.

Also Jemas thinking that the comic book character's are real shouldn't be an excuse for bad writing. I think there is a lot of truth in certain fictions, but I wouldn't trash fiction in an attempt to express that.

While I am not an Anthropologist or know a specific one, I will flip the bird for that statement since the study of ancient humans is not a waste of time as we as humans are naturally fascinated by the past regardless of how good or bad it is.

All and all great review Linkara and nice to know you can still advertise merchandise while pissed off. That made me slightly relieved of the stupidity that is this comic.

John said...

Just in case you wanted to settle the "chicken or egg" question, I refer you to QI, where they point out that, given biology and evolution, "eggs have been laid for millions of years before chickens started, and then presumably a species gradually evolved and laid the egg that became the first chicken."

It's amazing how this comic seems to be able to go out of its way to insult... everyone.

"His healing factor is a metaphor" ... I don't think they understand what a metaphor is.

Unknown said...

"You can try AOL Comics, but they have their own crock of favorite writers for their regular books. And they do tend to avoid publishing anything that actually says anything." Mr. Jemas, Suck it. Suck it long and suck it hard.

This... this makes me cry. I want to punch Jemas in the fucking throat because of it.

Anonymous said...

This hurts me, this hurts me in the brain.

Unknown said...

Sorry you're out of alcohol... I'm sure we can round up more...

I'm going to just pretend that this series never happened.

Greg said...

wow photobucket agrees that the marville cover sucks and has taken it down.

Adam said...

I'm not a drinker but having to watch reviews of Marville makes me want to take up the bottle.

And we still have to endure one or two more issues of this idiotic bull crap?!?

If I get arrested for the brutal murder of Bill Jemas, could I use the entire run of Marville as evidence to plea insanity?

RESSUIII said...




Chris Evans said...

As a Biology major, I feel so sorry for you that you had to read through this comic, Lewis. Talk about suffering for your craft.

Micro4 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adam said...

I've never been a drinker, but having to watch this review of Maville #5 and those before it makes me want to become an alcoholic. -_-

And we still have to endure one or two more issues of this idiotic bull crap?!?

If, hypothetically, I'm arrested for the brutal murder of Bill Jemas, can I use the Marville comics as evidence towards my plea of insanity?

MarioJPC said...

I wouldn't say that this comics is bad...
But you did it so well the review that was funny. Thanks and good luck!

Peterman Jones said...

Is it me or is the photo image not coming through?

Anders said...

This is otterly ridiculous. *sigh* The writer of the comic has as good an understanding of evolution as Kent Hovind.

Anonymous said...

Well here's my review of it:
*Uncontrollable laughs and cries of insanity*



Unknown said...

The photobucket error Image is oddly fitting

macsword0 said...

Wooooooooooow. Just....Woooooooooooooooow. I... I don’t even know where to begin on this one.

You know, I could MAYBE forgive the other comics for being inaccurate. The historical/scientific embarrassments, the pseudo philosophy, the gross oversimplifications. Oh, it would take a lot of liquor, but I could maybe put all that aside, and MAYBE get some enjoyment out of the first four issues. But this comic is where I have a real problem. After this issue, for me, this series crosses the line from being tragically misinformed to blatantly insulting.

I don’t even have any sort of connection to anthropology, but I still find that to be one of the most despicable, offensive statements I have ever read. Forget about anthropology for a moment. Who the hell is Bill Jemis to label everyone who follows a certain profession as “People who never got jobs?!” And for that matter, what would HE consider to be a real job, since apparently studying the science of humanity isn’t enough to him?! For me personally, he just comes across as someone who will berate people for not having the same beliefs that he does.

If this and everything we’ve seen so far really is what Bill Jemis choses to believe, then I guess I can’t really fault him too much there. I really do try to be as patient as I can when it comes to other people’s beliefs, regardless of how questionable they may be. But my tolerance ends when they start being an asshole about them! The mere fact that this hack not only got away with insulting people like that, but even got paid to do so just makes me sick!

Okay, rant over. And with that out of the way, this is yet another damn good episode on your part. It’s funny, it’s educational, and it’s exactly the type of thing I enjoy seeing you rip into. And although I don’t see how the next issue could be worse than this issue, I also didn’t think that this issue could’ve been worse than the last one. I was wrong.

Also, here’s an observation for you. How come every time we see someone get crucified on your show, it’s always in the stupider comics you cover? It’s never in the stories that are just okay or only suck a little. It’s always the ones where Jesus is beating up Zeus, or Nightcrawler is nearly elected Pope, or some other inane bull crap.

Anonymous said...

It's also no suprise that the thumbnail was banned from Photobucket. I'd probably suggest getting the alternate cover with that guy who looks like Al posing as Wolverine.

Also speaking of wanna know what the worst part is? Bill Jemas should know Wolverine's origins were....BECAUSE HE WROTE THE ****ING THING!!!!! I think Linksano was right in flipping the bird at the comic!

Anonymous said...

Wow this comic is so bad even photobucket thinks its a violation.

Unknown said...

You know its going to be bad when blogger wont allow Linkara to upload the cover of the comic.

Kaor said...

Oh thank Santa Christ, the colossal piece of crap known as Marville is almost done with. Great review, Linkara. Especially loved the LittleKuriboh cameo.

AmazedSatsuma said...

Man I love the was funny as hell

Also I have to agree with Photobucket that Marville violates a great number of things including their terms of service

Anonymous said...

Linkara, i can't believe i'm siding with Marville for any reason, but it was actually right about something. Two similar species can have perfectly healthy offspring, but those actual offspring are ALWAYS sterile, such as mules not being able to breed.

Unknown said...

I hate to be that guy, but he is true about two species making infertile offspring. A liger is sterile. So is a mule. They can produce offspring that live but not offspring that produce offspring

Tracey said...

This comic OFFENDED ME!

First time in my entire life, I felt offended by a comic!

Frank Miller?
His stuff might not always make much sense, but it's still fun, and filled to the brim with pure unspoiled manliness

Rob Liefeld?
He may suck at backgrounds, and perspectives, and movement, and physical interactions, but his stuff is ultimately harmless, and there's a clear passion in his work

aside from some plot-holes and silly dialogue, it's actually an average sci-fi, which, as many pointed out, has a strong resemblance to the insane beauty that is Warhammer 40000

Tandy Computer Wiz Kids?
Come on! Those are hilarious!

but this?

this is a festering INSULT to everything our civilization stands for!
he did get get a few interesting ideas (like how testosterone drives males to leave home to spread their DNA into the world), but it's drowned by SO MUCH stupidity and ignorance!
it makes me ashamed to even live on the same planet as this writer!
and then it makes me realize there are MANY MORE other people like that around the world, ESPECIALLY in America, and that makes me even more angry and depressed

also, interesting fact, did you know that the people in Africa are the only pure-blooded human on Earth? Everyone else is descended from crossbreeding with Neanderthals

but to this comic's credit, the philosophy of "can't we all just get along and have allot of sex?" is actually something I can get behind

Rabbi Joe said...

Um, why don't men have nipples in the Marville universe? And does God shave his chest? The theopileous connotations are staggering!

Cory of PRIVATE Corp said...

That was an opening. Just seeing you holding the bottle and then falling over just tells you what you're in for. Plus I think it's funny to think that holding the bottle and not drinking from it got you knocked out, as if the alcohol from the bottle seep into your skin.

Marville to me is more or less like the other horrible stuff out there, yet I'm oddly fascinated by this one comic. Out of all of the things out there, somehow I really want to pick apart myself and see what else Bill Jemas got wrong in making this series. Of course you skipped over a lot of stuff, but there are some lines that you don't say that I find wrong on certain levels, that it bugs me in thinking "why doesn't this make sense?" Then again you're not an expert in a lot of things this comic is talking about so there will be things you'll be skipping over and I don't blame you for it.

Only one more episode left of this garbage and Marville is done for good! I only said that because you're combing both Issue 6 and "Issue 7" together. Still, I can't wait for that!

By the way, since when is quoting Poison good in getting through the Pearly Gates? That was a Poison song, right?

DarkSeraphim said...

Lego brick!? GASP! Sir you go to far! Don't stoop to their level, Linkara! Don't do it! Legos are not the way! Resist the temptation of the dark side! RESIST!

I want to burn this makes my brain hurt...

Dontask4470 said...

Fun fact:There exists a nebula spanning 288 billion miles consisting entirely out of booze,and you got a it capable of FTL travel? If so,you can prepare yourself for Migraine #6 (and #7).

The Gallifreyan Historian said...

There are no words for the stupidity of Marvell..... Oh and first

Anonymous said...

The title card for the video is missing.

NGT said...

Pssst. Your comic cover image has been removed from PB as violating the terms of service!

firefly4f4 said...

There are no other comments visible yet. My apologies if someone else HAS said it.

Most interspecies hybrids -- mules and even Ligers/Tigons -- are sterile, as is stated in the comic. However, at least in the case of Ligers, they are sometimes still fertile, although the offspring can be delicate. They typically also have to mate with one of their parent species in order to successfully reproduce.

However, other hybrids actually are quite fertile. A good example of that would be the beefalo. In fact, I believe (I may be wrong here, I'm going by memory) most extant plains bison are hybrids with cattle.

Unknown said...

Looks like Photobucket REALLY doesnt like the cover image, Lol.

Unknown said...

Whoa...this comic really, really sucked.

Does Bill Jemas have brain damage or is he mentally ill...or probably the best theory did he just not pay attention in school.

This review was hillirious.

Unknown said...

Apparently, this comic is so bad its cover doesn't want to appear on your page :p. Keep on the good work, Dude! :)

Anonymous said...

Quick note for 7:09: Humans, as a species, have been around for 200,000 years or more, but Human Civilization is less than 12,000 years old. Our species has spent the vast majority of its existence as small bands of hunter-gatherer tribes.

AmuroNT1 said...

Oh dear, I guess the cover for this thing was too hot for Imageshack. Then again, the lascivious covers are probably the best thing about this waste of paper.

And let's not forget that Marville was written in order to win a contest against two other books. Apparently Jemas thought his loose-brained rambling deserved an entire series. Let's all say a silent prayer that Captain Marvel kicked his butt.

I'd ask how issue #6 could possibly be worse, but a lifetime of entertainment media has proven that if you ever, EVER ask a question like that, the universe will instantly conspire to show you in the most painful way possible.

Also, you completely made my day with the Bill and Ted reference. Party on, dude.

Robert J. Hendriks said...

Even being thrown upon the futon is too good for this piece of crap. Awesome!

Also, everytime I hear someone say "the greater good", I can't help but hear that bit from Hot Fuzz in my head. I'm not the only one doing that, am I?

Welton said...

Gee, if only Jemas had done some research before writing Marville, he could sound somewhat wise! But he didn't, and we can see the ignorance under the thin veil of wisdom this comic tried to portray.

Marville must've reached a record-setting stupidity-per-page ratio. I try to act as rationally as possible most of the time, but such amount of idiocy is unavoidably enraging. In face of this, I have 4 words about this comic: well, fuck you too!

Gareth said...

Considering your image host blocked the comic cover from being shown I'm not looking forward to seeing this one.

TCM said...

Hey Linkara, I haven't watched the review yet, but since I don't use The Twitters, and figured this would be relevant to your interests, I'll just leave it in this comment section:

Hopefully it's not too derailing or distracting going in this unrelated comment page.

And now, to actually watch the review.

Peteman said...

Ooh, what about Hieroglyphics? They're both pictures AND words.

Or because it's ancient Egypt, and everything ancient Egypt is evil, we should avoid it like the plague?

Nazaru said...

Wow, Linkara! Now I really think if you read up to the last Marville comic you'll have a mental breakdown.

Megan said...

I had to cut my last comment short-had stuff needed doing. Anyhoo..where was I?

Right. Jemas is the Grand High Moron. This comic isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

Which branch of anthropology are you referring to, Jemas? Cultural? Physical? Forensic? All three are completely different and highly specialized. In fact, there's very few Forensic Anthropologists around because it is a VERY hard field to get into.

Also, as someone who took a Cultural Anthropology class in college: *Gives Jemas the double-bird*

Are we sure that those 'cave-men' are our real ancestors? Maybe they're Golgafrinchans and this is all a stealth crossover with H2G2.

Wolverine is the first human. Well...I knew Hugh Jackman was older than he seemed!

So by this comic's "logic", children's picture books, comic strips, flip books, Caption This! contests, and LOLCATS are the way to Truth.

More impressive things: Moose Tracks ice cream(vanilla with chocolate and peanut butter cups), Pandora, Reeses, Every single book ever written, Gilbert and Sullivan, Camelot, To Boldly Flee, MST3K, Firefly, bugs, AT4W,the fact that you made it through the review with your sanity intact.

Anonymous said...

Umm... what happened to the picture at the top? It says it was taken down from Photobucket

demigod.dragoness said...

Wow, after watching this I really felt the need to watch science lectures on youtube. I feel sorry for you Lewis for reading this inaccurate and offensive, I say that because I am a student of anthropology, comic.

Sara said...

Ilove how photobucket had to censor the coer because it resembled porn too much. Even more amusing in the context of trying to get phylosophical about the meaning of life or whatever they are trying to clumsily discuss here.

Fletcher said...

One thing, Lewis. About your "Liger" counterexample, what the comic said was still believed at the time (can't be certain though, not an expert in the history of genetics): she specified that they can't have "fertile" offspring, so the mere existence of a crossbreed doesn't discount her thoughts, as crossbreeds like "Ligers" and "Tigons" supposedly can't produce offspring. However, there have been some cases (in more recent years)of them producing offspring, so you are still TECHNICALLY right. Just noting that that one mark against Marville was unfair.

MacCashman said...

Actually Mickey wasn't wrong she said that two members of a different species can't produce fertile offspring.

And they can't they can have children but the children are sterile that liger you showed can't have kids, you didn't argue the point they made. Now if you had showed the offspring of the liger that would have been different.

Well it is possible for a liger to have kids it's just really, really rare for one to be capable of it and the kids aren't very healthy

Captain Jack said...

That's Douchey's theme song...

...Marville is so bad, it managed to piss off the Douchey McNitpick Plot Hole.

Jesse said...

Bill and Ted were the best part. At least there we had The Grim Reaper in a funny outfit.

NetAccess98 said...

Something wrong with photo bucket?

Anonymous said...

Dude you should really cut back on the Romulan ale. That can't be good for your liver... or the rest of you.

Stick to Klingon Bloodwine! It's cheaper and has a little bit more punch.


Anonymous said...

I think this thing has left me saying "what" more than the Warrior comics did.

artista-AF said...

ok last time i checked, no, modern humans are not genetically related to the Neardenthal subspecies (they pretty much were exterminated by humans) but i might be wrong, less wrong than Bill tho because im pretty sure Neardenthals come from primates too and unlike what Bill thinks humas have withnessed evolution, that's why the Galapagos are so important to begin with! god this comic hurt my ideas i admire you for surviving it
Second, please tell me after Marville he got a restraining order against comic books, science & religion there's no way someone would let that asshole write again

wait... there is another Bill & Ted movie? AWESOME! *air guittars*

BookwormOtaku said...

Ouch, the pain to the brain this comic can bring on...and this isn't the worst it gets? Since your alcohol budget has been shot, maybe Linksano (who seems pissed at this comic series already) can make some for you instead. Sure he can at least manage moonshine, and I'd warn you about the side effects of badly made moonshine, but they kind of sound preferrable to reading through Marville.

Joking aside though, finally had time to watch through your entire DVD and it was awesome (and I must say DVD quality video really makes you look good...and I say that in the most platonic way possible, lol). Hope to see another one someday soon.
On a side note, in your Hitler puncing comic (best of the three I'd say), you mention a plane with a propeller in the middle, and how it doesn't seem like a good desgn. Well there actually was a real life Nazi aircraft with that design: the Focke-wulf Triebflugel:
Mainly know about this from that History Channel show "Weird Weapons".

Unknown said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NEW ATFW! (Looks at comments section) Wow. this comic is so bad, no one wants to even talk about it. (20:02) Whelp, we're all dead. Ok, people, place your bets on how these three morons are going to "accidentally" exterminate mankind. (32:20)May I recommend a night of "KILL, MAIM, BURN!" to make the pain go away?

Anonymous said...

Wait you mean that this insulting idiotic stupid mess in not the worst that marville as to offer.
Being an atheist myself i feel pretty insulted after having to sit through Bill Jemas ideas if you can, call it that, on the meaning of life but nonetheless you manage to make a hilarious reviews out of this garbage bravo Mister Lovhaug .

artista-AF said...

wait there was anothe Bill & Ted movie?! AWESOME!! =D

also why Bill still allowed to be close to anything with text on it? please tell me after Marville he got a restraining order to keep him away from Fiction, Religion, Science and any form of human interaction, i mean seriously "war is caused by not getting laid" "scientist know nothing" "anthroplogy is not a job" screw the parody this comic was clearly meant to be an insult for everyone!

i trully admire you for surviving this stupidity fest known as Marville & keep your brain from imploding

GoldenKing said...

"This image violates our terms of use?" What happened to the image of the comic for the website?

HS199432 said...

"Anthropologists are people who never got jobs."

...OK comic. So, you would like to believe that people like myself, who study the history of the human race, and advance of civilizations, are just lazy bums who sit on our asses and make up crap as we go along?! Sorry if my need to understand the dynamics of human interaction over the course of our species' history doesn't qualify to you as a "job"! Or are you making fun of how we actually have to do research and have our colleagues review any observations we make, where you can just make up whatever bullsh@t you want and get away with it! Or are you simply jealous, that anthropologists and historians are capable of producing great works of literature like "Battle Cry of Freedom", while you wrote what may be the worst comic in history! You have no right to talk about what we do like that! Screw you, Marville!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, if evolution works the way you and I have come to understand it, ideas like this will have to die out someday...

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, they just keep getting worse and worse!

You definitely made a good point about wether Bill Jemmis can differentiante between fiction and reality. It's really kind of sad and frightening.

And if you say that the worse is still to come...I dread the day when we see the final issue(s).

gingerale said...

Goodness that comic was painful to go through. Where could it possibly go from there?

Anonymous said...

Hey, Linkara. Don't know if anyone's let you know yet, but the MARVILLE cover was removed for violating terms of service. Makes sense, they were bascially one step away from showing hardcore porn on the cover.

WoodBuzz said...

WooHoo I'm post "insert random number here"
But great episode as always thankfully this marville crap is almost over.

Unknown said...

Mules are another hybrid animal (horse + donkey). Like ligers and other hybrids, they're usually infertile, but there have been at least 60 pregnancies from female mules (mated to either a horse or donkey; there are no records of fertile mule stallions).

What Jemas uses in the comic is the traditional definition of a species: "a group of organisms capable of interbreeding and producing fertile offspring." This definition works in most cases, but it's not an absolute, which is where Marville screws up.

Zedonks (zebra + donkey) are another example, and again have poor fertility but are not COMPLETELY infertile.

Lilgreenman said...

Two things:

1. Ligers and mules and so on aren't fertile - the comic was actually right on that point. I know, right.

2. Are you sure you want to put "Final Frontier" on that list of things more impressive than fighting?

Bellarius said...

Oh sweet heaven, even the thumbnail has the stupidity seeping through!

DefectiveType40 said...

Pictures and words are the word of--oh, no. I just had a terrible thought... what if he wasn't talking about comic books, but... CHICK TRACTS? Oh no, then that means Dark Dungeons really DOES speak for God, and thus D&D is in opposition to Christianity! I may not be Christian myself, but if God exists, I didn't think he was that much of a dick.

Jeez, this one was awful. I really empathize with you here--when I read this one it strained my eyes to try and read through all the text flooding every panel. Seeing how much this hurt to read, I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to read Warrior.

Anonymous said...

Technically Marville was right about two different species being unable to produce fertile offspring. The key is fertility.

While a tiger and lion can create a Tigon or Liger, the resulting creature is infertile and often times will not survive very long. Same goes for a mule which is the result of a female horse and a male donkey.

So while it's possible for two animals of the same genus to breed, they can't have fertile offspring.

Anonymous said...

It took "God" (and I use that in the loosest terms possible) two hundred million years to figure out a bit of genetic code? I don't care what your knowledge of science is, I'm pretty sure that by the time these books were being published it was already obvious that it's at the most a century before we're doing the same thing. Translation: God is apparently the divine equivalent of a high school student who got through Biology class with a C-.

And we continue to see blatant take-that's to scientists and espousing of the writer's own pseudo-science that just shows how little the writer actually knows.

Do you want to know what the saddest part actually is? Recently there was actually a paper published in Current Biology on chimpanzees and how territorial pressures cause them to have low level organized violence against chimpanzee males of other groups. Basically, war.
In other words, in reality if there was better land elsewhere, it's far more likely that the Badger tribe (since the Mistake is not actually Wolverine but his deteriorating clone Badger) would have just taken that land instead. Seriously, fighting over politics or religion? Yeah, usually that's really something sparked by resource competition, or is the domain of major powers that can afford to not focus on immediate resource concerns.

Rhodoferax said...

It's also weird that the neanderthals are all completely shaved below the scalp.

And this comic would be much better if they had to defeat Snowflame.

Regarding jewellery, cave people actually did have some jewellery, but it was made of bone and interesting rocks.

Robyn said...

If Photobucket isn't willing to show the Marville's comic cover, you know things are going downhill.

LordTerminal said...

Before I watch this, I noticed the Photobucket image is saying you posted for a title card is a violation of their Terms of Service and was removed.

Whatever the hell kind of image you used to describe this comic must really hint at how bad it is if it got removed.

Paralaxkaine said...

Linkara, this is the worst birthday present ever. But at least you suffered through it too. Amazing work and keep up the fantastic videos.

Anonymous said...

The scientist in me really wants to strangle this Bill Jemas who after looking at Wikipedia strikes me as a very religious man who flunked 3rd grade science. He is apparently working on translating the Bible better.

I must say seeing Linksano flipping the comic off made me smile, the only thing that would've made me smile more is seeing the comic after you threw it with the cover ripped off.

I'm going to guess that Marville #6& #7 won't be until you can get your alcohol reserves back up? Either way great work, I watched Marville #4 last night to prep for this...when you fell over and Pollo came on screen, I was half expecting Pollo to say, "I'd help you up but my arms still don't work!"

PopCultureOtaku said...

I don't know who should feel more bad for. The three who were still buying this comic or anyone else other then bill jemas who were probably just pounding their head against the desk just to get through working on it. This might have been one of the most stupidest things I have ever seen. You skipped dialogue just as bad the stuff you did mention. Reading some of the panels in the video that didn't mention. WTF? Really what was the point of this whole stupid thing? I mean just above new 52 and OMD/Anything beyond it stupidity. They do more damage but this on par because bill trying to say in this comic that way more popular book (which got a squeal announced at comic con) was wrong. That wolverine is first human in marvel universe. Sadly OMD and it's crap is more canon. It's not laughed at like this probably if anyone asked it was canon at marvel. I mean this maybe the worst book you reviewed. Bimbos in time and Super Teenage Foxes were awful but were not as insulting to comic industry or just marvel themselves by it being published.

Sume Gai said...

Disregarding the question of faith itself,the idea that Complexity implies design is both a logical fallacy and contrary to what most designers and engineers strive for,

It's a logical fallacy because implications don't go both ways until proven. If X -->[Implies] Y, you cannot claim Y --> X unless you prove ![not]X --> !Y. And that is an assumption we cannot prove in the context of a greater being since he supposedly works in mysterious ways.

Furthermore any competent designer will tell you Complexity is a curse (though sometimes necessary) that introduces more room for fault. "Keep it Simple Stupid" is almost a mantra for engineers and designers.

Anonymous said...

At the risk of justifying a part of this comic, the definition of species used is not too far off. The often used definition is a group of organisms that can produce fertile offspring. Horses and donkeys can mate to produce mules, but mules are not fertile for example. In the case of Ligers, they were thought to be sterile until a female one reproduced with a lion in a zoo. It's unknown whether male Ligers are sterile or not, but since the event of a reproducing Liger is so rare Lions and Tigers are still considered separate species and not sub-species. So if the character's point was that two species couldn't mate in the long run, she wasn't wrong.

Not that any of this matters since Neanderthals are often considered a subspecies and this comic gets everything else about evolution wrong.

Unknown said...

Great review, but many points...

The 'species' Homo Sapiens (Anatomically Modern Humans) are believed to have been around for at least 200,000 years, although transitional forms continue until 130,000 BP. It is also at 130,000 BP that clear evidence of cultural evolution becomes much more abundant, although there is evidence of it dating back much further. Not to mention all the earlier hominids.

However 'civilization' has only been around 11,000 BP, if you count the earliest villages, or just 6-8,000 BP if used to refer to the dawn of cities.
Civilization refers specifically to cities.
Even if you identify different cultures as different civilizations, it is still wrong to refer to one modern human civilization.

Clothes are important for two reasons, they provide protection from the elements, and from scratching yourself on plants.
They also stop inconvenient bouncing (or waggling). Granted Hunter-Gatherers in war environments tend to not wear much, but clothes are explainable.

Please don't tar Doctor WHO ('63-'99) with the same br8ush as Doctor Who (2006-). They are completely different shows and the old sewries had much better science in its Techno-Babble than new who does wen its trying to be realistic.

Neanderthals were not native to Africa, they evolved in western Europe from Homo heidlebergensis around 400,000 BP and were adapted to the extreme colds of the Ice Age, white skin makes sense for Neanderthals.
200,000 years later in Africa Homo heidelbergensis evolved into Homo sapiens who had black skin due to the much warmer temperatures in their cradle.

130,000 BP when modern humans first left Africa they coexisted with Neanderthals for about 5000 years before the modern humans outside Africa died out.
It is possible there was mating between the two groups and current genetic evidence suggests that modern Europeans do have Neanderthal genetic markers.
However 5 years ago the genetic evidence said the exact opposite and the whole issue is still hotly debated.
Also Neanderthals were fairly sedentary, living in small isolated groups with a limited nomadic range. (Likely a result of living in small refuge areas below the ice.)
As opposed to Anatomically Modern Humans who would range from hundreds of kilometers if there were no competing groups in the way.

Religious texts are not a good example of the literal truth, but I understand the reference.
That testosterone thing is even more crazy if you factor in the idea of Original Sin: (aka. sex is evil) believed by Catholics.

Neanderthals did not wear personal jewellery, modern humans did
They were cultural identification symbols, bead necklaces were common, mostly made from ostrich shell or shellfish, (sometimes found thousands of miles from the source, evidence of trading) but also stones and perishable materials. Other types of jewellery were also worn, including earrings.
They had no metal jewellery like in this comic of course, but please don't discount what can be done with stone tools, the Middle and Late Stone Age toolkit was quite sophisticated. A little research really would go a long way Linkara, even its its just Wikipedia.

God I hope you burn all these comics when you get through 6 Linkara, I'd like this one burnt now.

An Otter said...

Wait just a second, he's called Wolverine, hence implying Logan should be called The Otter.
*Shivers* Scaaaaaaaary
Also, was Bill saying that all otters have Wolverine's powers?

Rturtle said...

This is an episode I was hyped for, and it was entirely worth it.

I'd say this is my favourite review yet.

Unknown said...

Wow, this guy really did have his head, WAY up his ass. If he was being serious.
Hilarious stuff as always Linkara, thanks.

Have to wonder, how long did he run Marvel? And how long did this book go on?

Torkuda said...

Actually I feel compelled to correct you on when Jack said scientists were only making theories based on a few centuries of observation. In a sense, he's absolutely right. All of modern science and reason is based on many assumptions we could never hope to prove. What if at one point radio active decay didn't work the same way it does right now? Well then there goes about two thirds of modern science right there probably. That's an oversimplification, but let me elaborate:
I think the theory is called the theory of universal constance (and to those of you who know the proper term, rest assured, I don't actually care about precise terms so long as I'm understood). This is the idea used to state that throughout the universe and time, the laws of matter and energy are the same. We assume, for instance, that the speed of light always travels at the same rate given certain circumstances and always did, and that it always travels in a straight line. We also assume that even being right in that, there's nothing in the universe that we haven't observed that would completely throw off our calculations anyway. Is it likely that it could travel faster or slower the further we get from the planet?... well actually it travels slower in water, faster in air and even faster in the solar system so... I guess if we kept with the trend maybe it does change. Maybe by the time it gets to us it has slowed down or it's been refracted in some way. If that were true you could probably completely discount the majority of our current theories about the size and age of the universe as complete hogwash. Of course, if the laws do change outside what we've observed, we can't know that, since, frankly, we haven't observed it. We have to assume consistency because otherwise our only choice is to just admit we honestly don't know... which of course we don't. It's like when Columbus discovered that the men of science of his time were completely unaware of 1/4th the land mass of the planet.
Is it worth it and productive to continuously extrapolate the unknown based on what little we do know? To be honest its all we can do anyway so I guess more or less it's just a matter of where you decide to draw the line and stop believing that we really know what we think we do. Do you really think we know precisely what happened during the first ten seconds of the universe trillions of years ago? Well there are some scientists who will try to tell you we do. Scientists have been wrong before, what stops them from being wrong again?
I would personally say that it's true that one could easily criticize our assumptions about time and space based only on what little we can observe, but then, what else can we possibly do but assume based on what we know? It's stupid to make theories based on what we don't understand because well, we don't understand what we don't understand... duh. Thus we can only make theories based on what we DO understand, which yes, is limited to the last few centuries of credible and consistent scientific observations. He's factually correct, but actually we're not stupid for behaving this way as really there's no way around it.

Brian Pierson said...

I'm glad that Marville is almost over. I don't know how much more stupidity I can take. If it wasn't for the painkillers I'm on for having a bad toothache, I don't take I could have handled the stupidity of this issue.

Unknown said...

Actually, the comic's saying they can't have FERTILE offspring, just like you can't have ligers mate with ligers and make ligers, it doesn't work, the comic is right. However, because Neanderthals are a Subspecies of Humans and not another species, they can have fertile offspring. Don't mean to nitpick, but I never get to do stuff like this

Unknown said...

Also, cloths provide warmth, even in Africa it can get cold at night.
Let alone the temperate region of New York, which is on a continent Neanderthals never visited... but whatever; Neanderthals DID have clothes because they lived in cold places.

Unknown said...

Actually the comic is semi-right, lions and tigers can mate and have offspring, but not FERTILE offspring, which is what the comic is saying, however Neanderthals are, as you said, a Subspecies of Homo sapiens, thus allowing fertile offspring, but you did a great job of researching, this is just an odd, complicated Biology thing

The Trembler said...

Since your Marville #3 review, I’ve watched all the preceding Marville reviews before seeing the new one. And it’s starting to seem like the MST3K episode “Cave Dwellers.” (Ator, the one with the hang gliding scene, for anyone who doesn’t member the title.) The plot of the movie originally was very confusing to me. Good guy got to place, fight bad guy, -- that made sense. But why he did it and what the backstory was made so little sense. But repeated viewings of the episode let me put details together at least made the story seem comprehensible, if still dumb.

A similar thing is happening to me with these Marvilles. Oh, I don’t think the story is good or actually makes sense. But I’m getting better able to guess what Jemas was trying to do, at least with the first two issues. Lucy continuing to wear her highly revealing disguise might be a parody of superheroine costumes, for example. I might find a few of those parody references funnier than you did, but you make a good case that they don’t work overall. And from your review, I’m not motivated to seek the series out to see how I react unfiltered. In good parody, only the purposeful stupidity should be stupid. Everything else has to be really smart.

In the time travel/god issues, there’s a mutation of Lucy’s “It’s horrible to consume plants and molecules” argument that when speaking to a creator-god might not be stupid: “Sure simple microbes consuming other microbes doesn’t result in any pain or suffering, but this lays the foundation for more complex creatures that can feel and think to be killed by other animals. Why didn’t you make a different foundation for how life lives that doesn’t require one creature to consume another?” And there could be any number of answers based on theological beliefs or laws of nature. Jack could give a Book of Job-style smackdown, but at least the mere question wouldn’t be pathetically stupid. Based on what you say, there are times I wonder if that was what Jemas was going for. But at other times, it seems, he wasn’t even trying for a smarter question.

Scientists have witnessed evolution not merely of diversity (human assisted evolution with cat, dog, cattle, etc. breeding, moths getting darker to match trees made darker by pollution) but also the evolution of entire species in quickly reproducing creatures like some insects.

The Trembler said...

I can say a few things about Neanderthals. You’re right that there’s evidence for Neanderthal and Early Modern Human interbreeding. DNA from Neanderthal bones has been found and sequenced, and it has been shown that some unique Neanderthal sequences survive in most human beings. Typically 2 to 4% of a person’s genome is Neanderthal. The major exception being for people whose only ancestors are sub-Saharan Africans. The interbreeding occurred when the Cro-Magnon/Early Modern Humans left Africa. Those that remained did not get the Neanderthal infusion. That brings up another thing: Neanderthals are believed to have pale skin, varying in degrees depending on where the different populations lived. They lived mostly in the Middle East, Central Asia, and Europe, and the same evolutionary pressures that reduced melanin for modern humans living there had reduced melanin for them. So while Neanderthals being in New York is dumb, them being pale is not. There’s even evidence for Neanderthals with red hair.

One final thing. When you talk about Human civilization more than a hundred thousand years old, that’s not the right term to use. Humans are biologically and culturally that old or older depending on definition. But civilization is defined as being, to use the current Wikipedia entry’s first sentence, “a society with a high level of cultural and technological development and specifically a society that has agriculture and a city or territorial state.” The same entry suggests civilization originated 8,000 to 5,000 years ago. I’ve heard some documentaries about agriculture say civilization is 9,000 years old. Still, yours was but a minor terminology error. I’m sure we all know what you meant.

Having said all that, the series is dumb. Your takedown of it is hilarious.

Lydia Kravitz said...

"wolverine is not an otter" is a sentence I never thought anyone would ever have to utter in any context

platinum said...

As a physics/engineering major, this comic insults me. >:( "Scientists aren't scientific." GO. TO. HELL.

Otherwise, hilarious as always Linkara!

...and it brings me great joy and absolute horror to say only 2 more to go!

Unknown said...

I find it amazing that this comic has not only offended me as a student (and hopeful worker) of the environmental sciences, but has basically spat on every scientific achievement and idea which has helped give us a better understanding of the world around us...

Then to pour mercury on the wound, it also chooses to further ignore the complexities of war and humanity in general...

Dr. Linksano was correct in giving the comic the middle finger. Please tell us that there aren't any more reality warping, anti-scientific preaching fails.

Frudence said...

Anthropologist checking in here with The Bird, as requested. SCREW YOU, MARVILLE.

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
..........''...\.......... _.·´

Mr. Saturn said...

Wow and I thought that Sage's review of "A Wind Named Amnesia" totally tore apart a work that is entirely, utterly and stupidly pretentious.

Unknown said...

The only insult one can throw at Marville is the fact its Marville

Arc said...

...-pulls out achool- Ohhh... ohhhh this is bad.

How is this possible. I'm only half way through and I already know it's worse then number 4 and that had Jewish Talking fucking Dinosaurs in it!

... And it just got dumber, dumber, and AHHHH! -plays MSTK clip of robot yelling END! END!- But it won't end... not yet, not yet anyway. -cries-

Still funny though, but yeah, can't believe this. I mean, this is has to be worst then ASBAR, not by much though, but good Lord!

Also nice use of Little Kuriboh.

Unknown said...

There are not enough hands or faces on the planet to convey the amount of facepalm this piece of crap comic deserves.

Anonymous said...

Never has the song "Everything You Know is Wrong" seemed more appropriate. You know, I usually don't like to use absolutes such as "best" or "worst" when describing anything, and I realize I'm saying this while only having secondhand knowledge of this comic provided by an Internet reviewer, but I think that it is very much possible that Marville is not only the worst comic ever made, but the worst philosophical argument ever made as well.

Seriously, I am simply amazed that each issue of Marville is significantly dumber than the last. Ted Turner chopping meteorites with his bare hands after living to be over three thousand years old now seems utterly mundane next to the sheer amount of pseudo-science that has been crammed into the last three issues of Marville, and the sheer disdain towards real scientists really puts the icing on the cake; now it's not just stupidity, it's mean spirited stupidity.

(Incidentally, do you think the creator of Marville and the creator of the Tandy Computer Whiz Kids ever hang out? I suspect that people who have lost all touch with reality all run in the same crowd, by which I mean in a basement somewhere drinking whiskey and exchanging their most recent hypotheses regarding the behavior patterns of the Hu-Man.)

But you know what the worst part is? As a plot, stopping World War III would make for a great story (it probably already has, I'm guessing) if we had literally ANY OTHER PROTAGONISTS than Al and his friends. If that's the plot of the final issue(s?), then all I can say is, I wait with breathless anticipation to see just how thoroughly Marville ruins it and elevates the insanity to the breaking point.

Scott Tibbs said...

I would be curious to see why the image violates Photobucket's Terms of Service... perhaps that should cause the folks at Marvel to think about the content of Marville.

Lizard-Man said...

You know, I took an anthropology course in CEGEP, and the teacher who was in charge was very helpful, kind and supportive. I did a paper on the fall of the Aztec Empire and she was impressed as I recall with it. I really enjoyed that class.

This piece of shit comic can blow me.

I'm positive someone has already mentioned this in the comments as well, so I won't dwell on it. But while scientists today weren't THERE to see evolution happen they can make reasonable assumptions based on the evidence. As mentioned, there is evidence that neanderthals and Homo Sapiens did mate with each other. Neanderthals more than likely died out either due to competition with food sources or a lack of adaptation to the changing climate. It's hard to say.

I know for certain though, that Wolverine is not a real person and that this story's attempt to pass off creationism to it's audience is mind numbling stupid. I don't even know what it's message is, it's all over the fucking place. It blames religions for wars and then says we need to believe in God to prevent it.

The only credit I can give it is that it at least doesn't try to say young earth creationism is true. But the bullcrap of calling Evolution random chance is mind boggling annoying. It's not that, it's a system of natural selection in where those best suited to their enviroment and able to adapt go on to pass their genes to the next generation. God can be a component of that, but you cannot claim that is science like this book does.

Honestly, this series is so stupid. Why did Marvel let Jemas keep publishing this crap? Were they legally obligated at this point? Who was asking for more of this? Why? Didn't Marvel realise this was making them look stupid?

This is like that 9/11 Truther comic image published for some damn reason around 2011! They could NOT have thought this was a good idea at this point! They couldn't have! This is a comic book that's claiming Wolverine was a real person! And it's contradicting Wolverine's own damn origins!

My God, my brain hurts so much. I kinda wanna suggest this whole fucking comic for a Golden Crocoduck award. This ranks up somewhere between Ray Comfort's Banana and the theory that Dinosaurs breathed fire out their nostrils because the were inhaling and exhaling too hard!

Unknown said...

Can you do another Doctor Who comic? In regards to the 50th anniversary.

Lizard-Man said...

In addition, just to be frank, I get that Jemas was the president and everything, but couldn't someone have told him that he can't treat his company like his own personal publishing house? I get that this a vanity project and everything, but someone, somewhere, could've just got the balls to go up to him say "Bill, I think we need to stop writing this. It doesn't need to exist."

I guess as long as the story didn't effect them no one felt the urge to tell their boss that the story sucked balls and needed to die. He was costing his own company money on printing costs, money that could've been spent publishing other far superior books.

Anonymous said...

my God, if Marville #6 is honestly as bad as you claim it to be, I hold firm in my belief that it will be the one to make you exclaim "F*** THIS COMIC!!"

...which I still think would have been the appropriate response to One More Day, as well, but that's just me. (speaking of Spider-Man, was Al supposed to be referencing the Raimi films or the Ultimate comics? because there's no way in the Nine Circles he's smart enough to comprehend that they both exist.)

Brian said...

Yes, tigers and lions can have offspring, but the resulting children, ligers, are infertile. Much like how donkeys and horses can have offspring but the resulting mules are infertile.

Patrick Carlock said...

Okay, what was the point of this? He went back and forth on his own philosophy so many times, I couldn't tell what he was trying to preach. Why do I feel like I just wasted 15 minutes of my life?

Corey said...

I love how this is the first coic where the issue cover was taken down due to copyright claims. I think the writer's of Marville are catching on.

Unknown said...

It's not the comic Linkara, it's just you. You can't begin to fathom someone else's opinion on certain subjects and when you disagree with them you just ridicule them and take their words out of context. Try seeing it from the opposite end of your spectrum for once and you might learn a thing or two.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"I had a feeling you would mention the Liger/ Tiglons, I also thought of Mules, Zorses and Zonkeys. Not to mention most genetics expert think that human descended from European humans have a little Neanderthal in their DNA."

Mules were going to be my original one, buuuut I decided to avoid the comments of people saying "fertile offpsring and mules don't count." AFAIK, anyway. I probably needed more time to see if mules COULD procreate.

Anonymous said...

this comic makes me want to punt babies, just to spite it's message

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"I guess Into Darkness didn't hold up so well for Linkara after all, or he just forgot it due to having read this comic, I would believe either possibility."

Into Darkness was good, as said in the vlog. Just forgot to mention it this time.

Miss Angel said...

I think Bill Jemas has just figured out a new way to offend human civlization for completely misunderstanding religion, anthropology, paleotology, geology, and pretty much everything else, including comic books.

Great review, Lewis. Best Marville episode yet. I've been waiting for you to get to this one since I found that Marville horror blog post last December and it didn't disappoint. This is such a bad piece of work it makes me feel better, knowing as bad as my own novels are, at least I'll always be better than this. To be honest, I pity the editor for this comic. Since Jemas was incapable of getting the comic cancelled, they essentially had to let him get away with whatever he wanted.

I wonder if Bill Jemas is aware that if he wants to make an agrument about something like religion, the first step is to actually know a thing about theology. Then again, considering his epic fail dialogue skills, you may be on to something about him not understanding what reality is.

Bravo, Lewis. Almost through. I hope you set all the issues on fire when you're done -- that would be even more satisfying than when you burned One More Day last year. I commend you for being able to survive it; this comic makes me feel dumber and I'm just watching a video about it.

Oh, and Lewis: have you ever thought of doing a top 15 episode about Civil War? I think that'd make great fodder considering even just the main series is so horrible barring the art you could easily spend thirty minutes talking about it.

Megan said...

"I probably needed more time to see if mules COULD procreate."

Female mules-Mollies-can, but it is very, very rare.

Unknown said...

"into Darkness was good. as stated in the vlog, I just forgot to mention it this time."

Ah, I see. Well good to know, I think I missed that vlog.

Oh and since I forgot to mention it in my first comment, Good Video, excited to see how this could possible get any worse.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"I hate to be that guy, but he is true about two species making infertile offspring. A liger is sterile. So is a mule. They can produce offspring that live but not offspring that produce offspring"

Eeeexcept I found articles online of Ligers capable of having children, so nyeh.

Shanethefilmmaker said...

Ok I have no idea where "Pardon my french" came from since I didn't swear after that statment. Unless you count flipping the bird.

LioSKETCH said...

And here I thought the politics displayed on Family Guy were idiotic gross-oversimplifications of how the world works and how it should be reformed. This... this was just painful.

This is just one more entry on my list of reasons why Politics and Entertainment should never be allowed to mixed.

Leor said...

Oh my G-d, that was horrible. Lewis, I feel bad that you're delving into Jemas' cesspool of a theology. He's wrong about everything he writes about, whether it's science (Humans use 100% of their brains, thank you very much), history, anthropology, and of course religion. Jemas knows nothing about religion, except maybe a few things he hallucinated about while he was smoking a bong while thinking of ways to justify cancelling "Captain Marvel" (vol. 4).

It's no surprise to me that Jemas knows nothing about his own comic book company's books. If he had he might know that the Marvel Universe already explained where humanity came from: the friggin' Celestials! The Celestials experimented with primitive humans, producing three subspecies: the Eternals, the Deviants and Humans (who had an X-Factor that allowed some to develop superpowers). Wolverine, aka Logan, aka James Howlett, Jr., was not the first Human. He wasn't even the first Mutant! Apocalypse, born circa 4000 BCE to a Canaanite or Hittite mother exposed to radiation from Rama Tut's time machine, was the first Mutant!

I have more things to rant about, but at some point all you can do is wish that someone will name a child after Bill Jemas (to quote an old Yiddish curse), and get on with your life. Thank G-d that Bill Jemas is no longer with Marvel! As much as I might disagree with some of Joe Quesada's choices regarding Spider-Man or "AvX", at the end of the day Quesada is a good ol' Marvel Zombie, one of Stan's "True Believers" who seems to enjoy his job tremendously. I didn't like Quesada's entry for the stupid "U-Decide" contest, but it was bad, not mind-numbingly awful.

(By the way, will you ever review "Ultimate Adventures", Joe Quesada's entry for "U-Decide"?)

One last thought: "Jack" is not "G-d". Every other word out of the guy's mouth is a lie, and not even smart lies. They're lies a four year old would come up with. I'd suggest he's Mephisto or Loki in disguise, but they know how to tell lies, and Jack is just a moron. I keep expecting Uatu the Watcher to show up, and announce that he'd bitch slap "Jack", but is prevented from doing so by his sacred oath of non-interference.

And why is there no mention of Galactus in all this nonsense? How can Mickey or whoever be upset about microbes dying, when they live in a universe where Galactus devours whole civilizations to feed his never ending hunger?! At the trial of Reed Richards, Odin testified that Galactus played an important role in the grand cosmic scheme, but does Jemas explain that? Who am I kidding, Jemas' probably never read a single issue of John Byrne's run on "Fantastic Four", or anyone else's including Stan Lee and Jack Kirby!

In conclusion: Jemas is an asshole. I'm glad he's no longer at Marvel.

FugueforFrog said...

So was the end-song due to the "Wolverine" line...or just the comic's prostelitizing.

So yeah, we all evolved from an otter evolved into Wolverine (why does that sound so much like Digimon; besides otters evolve into samurai not wolverines) and that evolution can't take place without intellegent design because its too complex otherwise...except for the fact that evolution occurs due to adaptation and that mutations that allow for success become passed along; which perfectly scientifically explains everything...even if others say it doesn't. Regardless, congrats on making it through most of the Marville nightmare...and I fear if there is one more issue of this junk.

BTW: even if those idiots have to stop WWIII, at least we still have the Mackenzie Brothers to save the world after we should be good.

exiledjerseyite said...

Every time Marville comes up I want to crawl into a ball and weep. This comic is painful.

I do drink alcohol, but I don't have enough on hand to get into a properly numbed state to deal with Marville. Instead I sit here with my hands over my mouth, horrified. I mean, I've read all this same anti-science crap in other forms (dear lord have I seen it elsewhere), but the mere existence of Marville and how worse it gets every time is just... I can't. It's so bad.

Metallavery said...

Neanderthals lived mostly in Europe but they also lived in the areas of the middle east but those where small reclusive areas if i would belive. By Looking for Neanderthal DNA in our own, We can see that when the humans in Africa spread across the world they interbreed with the Neanderthals. But people who stayed in Africa have no Neanderthal DNA.

So it explains they are white becuase, since the migration to Europe would of taken many thousands of years enough time for a there pigment to change.. But seeing during the suspected time of the orignal human/neanderthal encounters was the ice age. things wouldn't be so sunny...

Unknown said...

Oh god yes, I was cringing at some of the statements about Anthropologists in the comic, and some of the drivel that Jack spewed out makes me want to be like Professor Farnsworth from Futurama and not want to live on this planet anymore. The Bill and Ted clip at the end definitely improved my spirit greatly, as those movies are supremely awesome!

Unknown said...

Yeah, I think I looked just like Linkara did on the title card when this thing finished.

Anonymous said...

Wow this book actually gives me a bit of hope for myself. If Bill Jemas can become a major comic writer and he can't tell reality from fantasy. I with my mental disability that makes it so I can't tell reality from fantasy makes me think I can be successful.

Of course the book I'm working on will have heavily researched, edited, and logical arguments from the characters. I would hate to be mocked like this thing.

Loved the Review. Hope to see you at ConBravo next year too!

Anonymous said...

@ macsword0

I think it's because the bad comics are more fun for him to tear apart -- and more fun for the viewer to laugh at.

Tantum Ergo 2 said...

Wow, that was bad. To explain, in full, all his scientific, philosophical, historical and ethical missteps would take too many characters to fit in this comment box, so instead, I'll just set up a couple simple one-liners and call it a day.

1. Al, Lucy and Mickey are more likely to -cause- WWIII.

2. Um... Anthropologists did get jobs. They got jobs as anthropologists.

Good day to you.

thorondragon said...

that whole hybrid thing totally depends on how similar the dna of two species is. such as how a Labrador and a pitbull can produce a mutt that can in turn produce its own offspring.
so when it comes ot mules, a hybrid of horse and donkey, it the result is a hybrid species that is, because of the difference between species, posses a mutation that prevent it from reproduction.

ultimately it depends whether or not promagnum and Neanderthal were as different as a doknky and a horse is, or as similar as a pit bull and a Labrador.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"2. Are you sure you want to put "Final Frontier" on that list of things more impressive than fighting?"

Count again - 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 6th, and 8th. Final Frontier was 5th.

Eileen Gonzalez said...

Wow. There's someone out there who knows less about science than Erich von Daniken and Jack Chick combined. Bravo, humanity!

And a big ol' middle finger on behalf of my anthropology professor.

Unknown said...

ok i have a few things to say one is bill jemas insane if so that would explain a lot two bill jemas is aware that the are animals that can cross breed or does he think mules are fake third why is wolverines wife dressed as giganta seriously with the pink dress and the jewlery she kind of looks like giganta just put her hair in a pony tail dye her hair red and boom she's giganta one last thing i honestly hope that bill jemas doesn't have kids because the idea of him passing his "ideas" to a new generation frightens me

Daniel2112 said...

Lewis, buddy, you do NOT get paid enough for this crap.

Jeff Jacobson said...

I just realized your "Mickey" voice sounds kind of like Mickey Mouse.

Carl said...

So ...Long comment warning!

The time machine stayed in New York? There were no humans in North America in 100,000 BCE. They crossed the Bering Land Bridge many millennia later. Probably none in 50,000 BCE either. And none of them were Neanderthals, an Old World-only species adapted to the Ice Ages. Which were happening 100,000 years ago so where are the glaciers?!

Anthropologists are people who never got jobs ... writes the comic-book writer? I respect creators, but I think Jemas might be engaging in a bit of Freudian projection here.

Why are you using PhotoBucket when Blogger lets you directly upload images?

Example of species that can produce fertile crosses: coyotes and dogs.

Why are the cave people so darn clean, perfectly-groomed, and shaven? Did Neanderthal women really shave their armpits and legs?

Jemas also has a very restrictive idea about gene dispersion and exogamy. (Note: using the anthropological term "exogamy" to annoy him if he ever reads this.) Among many animals it's the females that leave the home band while the males stay, notably chimps, our closest surviving relatives.

In conclusion: don't learn science from this ignoramus. He may be knowledgeable about something, but not this.

QuetzaDrake said...

"Scientists haven't witnessed evolution!"

Except, y'know, they have.

So, y'know, shut the hell up, Bill Jemas.

Anonymous said...

I watched this episode with a stuffed animal. Whenever anything mind-numbingly stupid came up, I'd hit myself over the head with it because that's what Marville does to people. It maked them want to hurt themselves, lest they hurt someone else. It's so stupid it makes me want to hurt myself My sister came in and I handed her another one. She hadn't seen the previous videos, so I explained all of the previous stupidity to her. After a few minutes of watching, she said she'd need something harder, so I handed her a comic book I had lying around (note: she was joking and we didn't actually hurt ourselves.) Finally she left the room because she couldn't take the idiocy. Moral of the story: Bill Jemmas makes people who are usually stable, insane. Mayber that's what drove Linksano mad in his own universe. He was forced to read Marville over and over.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"It's not the comic Linkara, it's just you. You can't begin to fathom someone else's opinion on certain subjects and when you disagree with them you just ridicule them and take their words out of context. Try seeing it from the opposite end of your spectrum for once and you might learn a thing or two."

Sooo, you're saying I should see things from the perspective of the man who says Wolverine was the father of our species and that dinosaurs could talk?

Anonymous said...

Jemas' attempts at "social commentary" strike me as the rantings of someone who's read a few books and thinks he has it all figured out. His problem seems to be that it appears as if he thinks he's smarter than all his customers.

Even in the early parts of Marville, he has the characters spout half truths if not outright lies in order to push a particular agenda. In the first issue, it was how much better Marvel was than DC. DC could do no right while Marvel could do no wrong. Granted, I understand a "company first" policy. But there's a difference between promoting your company and engaging in what could generously be described as a smear campaign.

I really don't think he respects his audience all that much. Which is a bit of a problem when you are trying to convince your customers that you're philosophy is the "correct" philosophy. If you're attitude is basically "Anyone who disagrees with me is automatically wrong," you've got one hell of an uphill battle to try and make people understand your position.

Metallavery said...

"Sooo, you're saying I should see things from the perspective of the man who says Wolverine was the father of our species and that dinosaurs could talk?"

i think he was making a general point about life. It is a good point to try to understand every ones views. but when its this crazy... there is no point.

Dave said...

Some others have already commented on the species thing... but even when this comic is right it's wrong.

There's no universal or God given law against two species having fertile offspring... that's just how biologists define what a species is. For example, all breeds of dog can crossbreed successfully and have fertile offspring. That just indicate all domestic dogs are the same species.

Only two more issues of hurting yourself to go, Linkara. Unless you've inadvertently given the series so much attention that Marvel decides to make more hoping for some "Can it be THAT bad" bucks?

The sad thing... part of me actually likes Al, Mickie and Lucy as characters... if only what they were doing and saying wasn't so stupid.

I apologize to all molecules that I inadvertently killed writing this feedback.

Ming said...

OMG! WHY? WHY WAS THIS MADE? This moron has no understanding of any basic scientific concept. I mean, even the really bad episodes of Doctor Who was more scientifically plausible than this!

Wolverine did not evolve from an otter, he is not a caveman, and he certainly is not immortal. He was a mutant who was given adamantium claws by a military weapons program! And don't get me started on the caveman scenes, the text panels with the dialogue that couldn't be worked into any panel, and all the other crap that ultimately becomes pointless by the end of this issue! Bill Jemas is an idiot! He's so stupid! He's stupid! He's stupid stupid stupid



You know, this is the part where I say just one more issue-ish, but I just know it will be just as horrible as this one. I mean, can you imagine a universe where Marville actually continued . . .

Booze . . . I need booze . . .

Arianne said...

The only good thing about the last review besides Linkara mocking it and the jokes was the reveal of a Pollo body. We're now one review closer to the glorious day that is the sixth review of this comic.
I gave Marville the middle to the screen for the high level of suckage that has accumulated over the reviews. It's not, funny, it's not witty, it lacks common sense and knowledge about science. It lacks charm.
It's stupid and the main character is a idiotic asshole. If Marville was interested in a vacation than I would hand them a brochure about a resort town that's a very special place.

Rob Green MN said...


What did we just watch, and what you reviewed?

Thank you Linkara for giving us the time to flip-off the comic it was much needed.

I feel like the past 3 issues of Marville were written by my stoner friend, but he would still make a better comic.

If you gave someone who is in prison they could get away with pleading the 8th amendment for cruel and unusual punishment for having to read Marville.

On a different note: Loved that you got some Yu-Gi-Oh Abridge in there to help break the drain this comic had on most likely everybody.

When it comes to the last 2 issues, or more of 1 issue and how many pages the 7th is. If there is enough booze, or if you can go through all of it in one sitting you'd need to take a few weeks off to recover, or to be checked in to a psych ward.

keep up the good work, and hope you have a fast recovery from the hell that Marville #5 put you through.

Anonymous said...

Can some one tell me what this comic is trying to say?Half the time it sound like it trying to say there is a god while the other half it trying to say there isn't. They talked about how the Darwinian belief is wrong but they had an animal change in to some thing else right in front of them.Though like stated that not how evaluation works but that just the surface of stupid.

Now on to science.Oh god is this science bad.I feel like I knew more about science at the age of five then this comic did.Generally speaking any species that part of the same genus can produce off spring.You use a Liger as an example but any member of the panthera genus can be cross bred and has bin.It is common for said species to be infertile but there are instances with this dose not happen but, we are talking about genus of animals that evolutionary tree is more complex then our own.Homo Sapiens and neanderthals are much closer related then tiger and lions.There is only 2 or so sub species differences between the two.The genetic is to close to really make a difference.

Best example of this is dogs and wolves.Dogs are a sub species of lupus but do to their close genetic proximity all pups with wolves are fertile.Matter a fact wolf dog are acutely much healthier then their pure bred parents.

How well homo sapiens got along with Neanderthals probably vary from place to place but, we can tell how well they got along by examining the concentration of their DNA in areas.Tribes in Italy got along with them swimmingly.I think some thing like 50% of all people who live in Italy share genes with neanderthals.

So the meaning of war is to have sex and if we have world peace we'll have sex?Here I thought war was about difference in beliefs, Resources , and power.While peace was about forgoing those thing to make the world a better place to live in.Nice to know that all the answer can be found in some one pants.

Ozaline said...

You know the whole Wolverine thing seems like a terribly wasted opportunity.

Why? Because Wolverine's co-creator Len Wein originally intended for Wolverine to be an actual Wolverine who was evolved into a human form by the High Evolutionary, this idea ended up being rejected by Claremont et all, but it could have been a nice little nod to Wein to have a Wolverine changed by the time machine. But then Jemas would need to know something about the company he was helping run.

I'm very offended by the whole "Jesus was a hippie but then the crusades happened bit," does he think that's original? It's been said so many times, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy had the best version of that, followed by one time where I saw Satan show a vision of the crusades to Jesus to discourage him (forget which movie that was in).

This comic is just so offensive, both in it's contempt for professionals who dedicate their lives to answering these questions and it's smuggness about thinking it has the answers.

It was a pleasure to watch you destroy it.

(I don't think Jemas really thinks Wolverine is the first human, he was using a comic character to explain his beliefs but he probably dosn't think the first human is running around wearing Yellow Spandex).

Luna said...

...Oh sweet jesus, why is this still going? I mean, seriously, who the hell agreed to keep working on this comic after it's spiraled into its own stupid mess of a belief system?

This guy has quite some nerve implying science is stupid and "not scientific" when he obviously knows nothing about it. Yes, science is not always right, but that's why theories get updated and changed based on current technological capabilities and evidence.

I mean, I agree with maybe two principles in this comic (science and religion are compatible and everyone would be happier if sex wasn't so taboo), but the way it presents them is just lunacy. It's insulting to both scientific and religious communities at the same time, as well as comic book fans and human beings. I'm starting to wonder if he's trolling by pretending to believe this stuff.

Anonymous said...

Eh... are you sure we've ever left Parody territory and this is supposed to be taken seriously? It's possible that Jemis was lying when he said this was a serious work, right? Like, the whole "I'm being serious about this!" is part of the joke/parody itself?

I can't really reconcile the idea that someone actually did believe that we all evolved from Wolverine Otter. My faith in humanity can't drop that low anyway.

Anonymous said...

I honest to god think Jemas was fucking with the reader. There is no way someone could hold so many contradictory and illogical opinions and be serious about them.

Even in the ever-present e-debates between theists and atheists, all of them have coherent beliefs that logically flow with nary a bump in the road.

Jemas' bullshit seems more like the ramblings of a drunkard. There is no way this wasn't a fucking Poe.

Kryten said...

"Eeeexcept I found articles online of Ligers capable of having children, so nyeh."

Hey linkara i just wanted to let you know that, while i agree with you when it comes to the sheer amount of stupidity present in Marville, i will point out that, while female ligers are capable of having offspring known as liligers with male lions and tigers. Male ligers are completely infertile, meaning that the females are dependent on males from the other species in order to procreate.

But then again maybe I'm just being nit picky and arguing over petty semantics. In any case i really enjoyed your Marville review and i am especially looking forward to your star trek 6 review in the coming months.

Until then take care and god bless.

starofjustice said...

I get the feeling if Bill Jemas did see these videos and react to them, all he'd focus on is how you pronounce his last name wrong or something.

Anonymous said...

To all people going on about ligers and mules, not only are fertile hybrids possible, they're outright effective in the development of new species.

Read this article and it's comments section:

GoldenKing said...

To QuetzaDrake,

You don't even need an article to back up that statement. The fact that bacterial, viruses, and some smaller organisms evolve very quickly is something taught in a basic biology class and just proves that the writers are even more stupid than they seemed to be in the first place. The real question is, how is that possible for them to be THAT stupid?

Melissia said...

Flash news for people defending the author: Opinions can be wrong.

Funny how that works. Anyway, this comic is painful to read... always is annoying to read authors spouting off their own personal philosophy, since they're often so heavy handed about it, and do it in awkward dialogue...

Eliphas8 said...

You know, why are neanderthals in Africa? They only ever existed in Northern Eurasia.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm Catholic and a Biology major and just listening to this was making me want to beat my head in.

Anonymous said...

Lewis, could you type up your list of things that are more impressive than fighting to pick up cave-chicks?

Michael said...

Hybrids generally cannot breed. This is mostly the case with interspecies breeding. And while there have been reports of hybrid liger breeding, none have data, at least none that I can find, supporting viable children or even actual birth of live young. This is why tigers and lions are still listed as separate species instead of subspecies, because while closely related species may interbreed the hybrids are inherently infertile. If this proves to not be the case then the two are obviously not separate species and are usually reclassified as the same species with different subspecies given to differentiate between them, as is the case with the galapagos finches. Currently tigers and lions are still classified as separate species as both ligers and tigons cannot produce viable offspring. On the other hand, dogs and wolves can produce viable offspring and are considered separate subspecies, even though a long time ago they were considered different species. As a side note, a breed is a man made subspecies just for reference sake.

What might have been a better thing to bring up in that panel was the fact that the writer, through Jack, makes a huge and widely believed error in stating it is, to paraphrase, 'just a theory.' Any scientist will cringe at those words because we know how much work goes into developing a theory. This comes from the fact that the general populace seems to think the scientific term theory means educated guess or undeveloped idea, and uses the term as such. But in the scientific world it means something that has been widely supported by much data and numerous experiments. A hypothesis s the educated guess that most people use the term theory to describe. While in science a theory is basically considered a fact. I use the qualifier 'basically' because nothing in science is ever set in stone, anyone can try to refute anything, as long as your data supports your refutation and can be duplicated by others in experiments.

Sorry for rambling on. And for going completely off of the topic of the message that was originally posted and that I was replying to. I get caught up easily in ideas.

chubzhac said...

Whatever happened to the U-Decide bet anyway? Did Bill Jemas just decide "screw it" and write a comic he admits no one wants to read?

Anonymous said...

What I want to know is...

What WAS that bottle of booze that he kept waving around? Because clearly we, his loyal fans, must send him more of it for when he gets around to MARVILLE #6. It is our moral imperative to keep our fearless leader fearless through inebriation.

Keveak said...

Wait, I read a picture Bible when I was a kid and I kind of am a big atheist now... Oh, but I did believe the well-researched evidence-based illustrated books about animals and the evolution of life, the word of God was right! X3
(No religious offence meant, just agreeing that pictures and words alone doesn't make it convincing.)

As someone who just am in awe and fascination at anthropology in general, I shall do as requested.

*Picks up finch, flips it over*

In all seriousness; it was painful to know that you had to go through this thing, working on it for far more time and with far more scrutiny than any of us need to watch the review. It was painful enough to just see the excerpts of madness (even if I know this is relatively tame compared to some people's beliefs) that someone managed to get published while getting this high at Marvel. Hope you have a lot of good media and fun times to recover from it, and that the last bit of this is at the very least briefer. : )

Shanethefilmmaker said...

You know seeing the wall of text in blue background in this comic keeps making me expect to hear "You've Come Far Ness." in the background. But that's probably my mind wishing for something to listen to than the rest of Marville's stupidity.

Leor said...

@Nathaniel Towns: Peter David won by default. "Captain Marvel" was the only book to ship on time.

Anonymous said...

Nice episode Linkara. Just a heads up, your ads didn't display on my computer. Now I don't use ad blocker or anything, so if anyone here in the comments can help me get the ads reinstated, I would appreciate it. I want to support the show.

Anonymous said...

Okay, Lewis. I understand that you felt the need to finish something you started, but I'm getting the feeling that a lot of the rage you showed in this episode is not just the character. That you're genuinely upset by the loud anti-science propaganda this seems to appear as, based on what you showed.

You, and most of the rest of your colleagues, aren't funny when your jokes amount to "OMG! THIS IS TERRIBLE! WHY WAS THIS MADE?" without at least some snark. I'm currently thinking about giving the whole review thing a shot (though in text for now), and some of the things you've said in "Oddities and Endities" and "State of the Wall" seem to imply that usually, if you don't find enough jokes for something, you look elsewhere for the funny.

I suppose you tried to let it slide, because you really wanted to do all of this mini-series, but I don't know, I think maybe you should just leave this miniseries look unfinished.

Linkara's liver will thank you for that.

Adam Burchfield said...

Now, technically, the whole impossibility, they were kind of right about it being impossible for species of to different genus to make fertile children (mules and ligers can't make babies, as far as I know. I could be wrong), they can still bred and make living babies.

Anonymous said...

I liked the review overall and it was pretty funny to me. However, there's something that I couldn't help but notice and it stayed in my mind during the entire review. I'm curious to know, Linkara: What was with the sarcastic comment about raw deer meat and washboard abs?

I can understand how you wouldn't know much more about nutrition and general physiology beyond the "conventional wisdom" that you've been thought through primary school, high-school, the media, and maybe friends and family. I mean, what can I expect when you're so busy with reviewing various comics for a living (and you're pretty great at it for that matter). What I don't understand is why you would seem to imply that a lean meat like raw wild venison (deer having about 8% fat by the way) would wreck the men's lower torsos (i.e. making them fatter).

Genetics aside, there's plenty of athletes who get a lot of muscle hypertrophy, and who keep incredibly lean (maintaining around 10% fat), from eating a large amount of animal fat and animal protein throughout the day. It's the carb-rich and high-glycemic foods that they have to control correctly, since carbohydrates raise insulin levels and tends to make the body store everything as fat.

Also, based on my personal experience, it's impossible to become fat on a predominantly raw-food diet. I've even read, and seen videos, about people who go on a raw-food diet. They are generally slimmer than the people who go for a more "cooked-food diet" equivalent. I even remember once seeing a video of a guy who always ate a good amount of raw red-meat, fat and all. He looked healthy and fit and had a great-looking abdominal area.

To be fair though... Despite you being seemingly inaccurate about this stuff, at least you made comparatively more logical sense in your comment than any of the comments made in the Marville comics. I look forward to more hilarious entertainment from you. :-)

Optimistic Athiest said...

Today my cable went out so I decided to do a marathon of AT4W and I have to say its amazing to watch how this show grew everything from the jokes the characters the stories and the general depth of the reviews is executed so well now not to mention the improvement in video and audio quality which is monumental. Just wanted to say you were a great reviewer now your amazing. I look forward to seeing you become even better. great job and keep it up :)

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"I liked the review overall and it was pretty funny to me. However, there's something that I couldn't help but notice and it stayed in my mind during the entire review. I'm curious to know, Linkara: What was with the sarcastic comment about raw deer meat and washboard abs?"

I was more referring to how eating raw, uncooked meat tends to result in, well, sickness and death - not stronger muscles and definition. Admittedly, that might be wrong in the case of the neanderthals considering I doubt fire was a big thing, but I was under the impression that, well, eating raw meat right after killing the animal is not particularly good for you.

Keveak said...

"I was more referring to how eating raw, uncooked meat tends to result in, well, sickness and death - not stronger muscles and definition. Admittedly, that might be wrong in the case of the neanderthals considering I doubt fire was a big thing, but I was under the impression that, well, eating raw meat right after killing the animal is not particularly good for you."

Eating raw meat is a fair deal worse for you than cooked meat, though also a lot better as a source of protein and energy than nuts and berries, which seems to have outweighed the sickness that can result from it. At least according to some researchers, this diet shift was why human brains began getting bigger. Whether Neanderthals cooked meat 100,000 BCE (Evidence suggest they eventually cooked food, but they were around for a while after that year) seems to be still in debate (layperson speaking here), but they probably would do it fairly soon and some anthropologists suggest that cooking meat began before the jaws and guts diminished way before this, which in that model lead to the brain being able to be larger.

Or, in other words, real evolutionary history is complicated and fascinating, and Marville is still really really stupid. ^_^'

Carl said...

Raw meat is in general not a great idea. It's less nutritious than cooked meat (heating makes proteins more digestible) with greater risks of parasites and pathogens. The Japanese among other cultures do like sashimi (raw fish) but it actually is more likely to cause problems than cooked--the Japanese are somewhat prone to fish tapeworm infection, for instance. The original sushi involved preserving fish by storing it in fermenting rice, which has some of the same chemical effects as cooking (such as killing pathogens and denaturing proteins).

Sorry, science teacher.

Anonymous said...

If the deer was fairly healthy when it was killed and the raw deer meat was eaten fresh like that, then there shouldn't have been any problems with microbes (although their own immunity may also affect this situation, I suppose). Now, it is possible to starve and become malnourished on a raw-food diet, but that'll depend on how your body can deal with the raw food in the first place. Some do well and some don't.

My body absorbs and uses cooked food better, so I go for cooked meat, cooked liver, cooked pork, cooked chicken, and so on. If I eat fruits and veggies though, I'll usually eat it raw, since I prefer them that way anyways. To each his own I guess.

Anonymous said...

"Nice episode Linkara. Just a heads up, your ads didn't display on my computer. Now I don't use ad blocker or anything, so if anyone here in the comments can help me get the ads reinstated, I would appreciate it. I want to support the show."

From a former IT support geek, things to check on your computer:

a) Test the site with different browsers (use the big 3 if you’re on a PC: IE, Chrome, and Firefox; on a Mac, try Safari, Chrome, and Firefox, and make sure you’re using the most up-to-date NON-beta version); this is often the number one culprit, so I also suggest checking the security settings on the browser;

b) Pick up a solid antimalware/antivirus program (my personal recommendation 1/2 punch are Malwarebyte’s Anti-Malware and Microsoft Security Essentials) and run them both as in-depth scans. Better safe than sorry;

c) Even if you are not running an adblocker at present, check your browser settings to see if you can whitelist a given site - this tends to minimize browser/site conflicts;

d) Clear your browser cache - obvious, but you never know;

e) Check your video drivers - embedded players do sometimes cause conflicts;

f) Rather than just updating Java and Flash Player, consider uninstalling and reinstalling them completely (I say “consider", because *USUALLY* simply updating those programs removes the earlier version… but not always); this was a constant problem for me in the past, and now I swear by this;

g) If you have the same setup on multiple computer rigs, try duplicating the problem on another computer. If it only happens on one, then there’s something on that rig that warrants further investigation.

Shifter's Haven said...

May I ask? What was about Doctor Who and gamma rays? I mean, I didn't hear this moment properly and didn't understood what do you mean (you saying that this moment of DW was antiscientific or otherwise), so...
I ask, because, I remember I read something about gamma rays and storms last year, so...

Anyway, like the review, funny as always. Kinda strange to see the mention of first episode of Doctor, cause two months ago I start to watch DW from the start (wanted to get to know this show I heard so much, and my habit of being completeonist) and never thought that I see the mention of this here

Anonymous said...

As a religious person who likes to think science and religion can go hand in hajd when done right, i feel these comics have insulted me doubly so.......You know what linkara? These comics need to be burned in the same place the government burns samples of chemical and biological weapons because they are a danger to every human's braincells.

Penny said...

Hey I bought your old Angel Armor books on my Nook so I would happily pay to hear about your religious experience! :D

Awful comic but a wonderful review. And to think that the creator actually believes all this. I can't even fathom it. I'm all for people having their own opinions but his logic and science just so confuses me.

I know you'll be taking a break to work on other things but I really look forward to your return to the last two issues of Marville. Good luck!

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Hey I bought your old Angel Armor books on my Nook so I would happily pay to hear about your religious experience! :D"

Oh dear. XD

Well, I hope you enjoy it, though I would have bought the DVD. XD

Penny said...

""Hey I bought your old Angel Armor books on my Nook so I would happily pay to hear about your religious experience! :D"

Oh dear. XD

Well, I hope you enjoy it, though I would have bought the DVD. XD"

I bought the Angel Armor books last year and am buying the AT4W DVD as soon as I have some funds to free up :D Though I do hope you still get some money from Nook purchases of your books, even written so long ago.

The books were... honestly nostalgic. They reminded me of my own early attempts at writing. I was just never brave enough to get them published like you did.

Hey, here's a thought. Maybe you could review your own book for a future April Fool's Day episode. Might be amusing XD

Anonymous said...

Your review fails to capture the actual awfulness that is this comic. Not your fault... it's literally impossible to understand without reading the issue itself.

If you haven't read it you might think it's self-parody, or trying to make fun of this sort of self-important "revelation" tract... but it's not. Oh man... it's not.
It's a crazy man spouting nonsense and all of the other characters being "converted" and verbally felating his genius. This is a Chick Tract. It's Bill Jemas having a breakdown on paper. This is tiger-blood transmission and Vatican Assassin Warlocks territory.

Anonymous said...

To step into the science debate, yes proper scientific observation is only a few centuries old. However the data comes from anywhere from years to billions of years old.

And yes, you can say "well, with only centuries we can't be sure we're interpreting it right". There's just one problem. It's the same kind of basic science that lets us use radiation to kill cancerous cells that lets us figure out the age of something from the decay of carbon. That's also the same basic science that makes nuclear weapons go "boom". In other words, if things like half-life and other areas about radiation are incorrect then if we fired those nuclear weapons nothing would happen. Anyone here want to bet that those weapons really don't work?
(looks around)
Didn't think so.

And even ignoring the fact that clearly we have to be getting some scientific facts right or else our Mutually-Assured-Destruction world wouldn't even exist, I'm afraid Jemas runs into a logical fallacy. If I were to buy into his argument that scientists haven't been around long enough to make any statements (which I don't) all that would do would mean that science is at least as possibly valid as Jemas' own views on reality.

Now, like I said, because of all the theories and ideas we can infer are correct because we're able to use those theories and ideas for actual technology, I think it's safe to say that Jemas is totally incorrect. However, even if I wasn't saying that, nothing in this comic was able to assert that Jemas has any more validity.

And incidentally, we have seen evolution in action. Some insect species have been observed undergoing evolution (some multiple times) in less than a single human lifetime.
Yes, you can say that we haven't actually observed humans or even hominids undergoing evolution. That's because generations of insects and generations of hominids operate on very different scales of time. Some insects die in under a month. Obviously reproduction and mutation are a bit quicker for them than they are for us.

Now for a bit of in-comic lack of logic. Why is anyone so quick to assume that Jack might be the god of the Abrahamic faiths? The presence of mutants in this comic was confirmed not too long ago, as was super-science that allowed the main character to travel back in time in the first place. Isn't it just as possible, if not more so, that Jack is really just someone with a time machine and levitation powers or hypnotic powers. Jack never actually does anything that can't be explained with comic book science.

Shanethefilmmaker said...

Ok I finally realized something, every time I hear the dialogue or read it in Marville. All I see and hear is "Bingle bongle dingle dangle, yickedy doo, yickedy da, ping pong, lippy-tappy-too-ta!"

Unknown said...

is Bill talking about genetic memory?

Anonymous said...

You know what's actually kind of funny about that picture bible line coming from Linkara? I've actually seen several attempts to make the Bible into a comic book, one of them I saw at a Walmart due to the Bible series on the History Channel being popular.

Anonymous said...

Apparently Marville takes place in Earth-3131.

Yeah, I know - they actually went and gave this POS a specific designation in the Marvel Multiverse.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Anonymous said...

One of the things that really bothers me about this comic is something I've seen far too much as of late. It's the whole "Scientists are liars" accusation that gets bandied about far too often by those trying to present a philosophy or push an agenda. They have no proof or evidence to back up their claims, and even if they do it's usually suspect or outright misinformation. But their best "defense" is just to say that scientists are simply making stuff up, or don't know what they are talking about, without a shred of evidence to back up their claim.

The whole "Anthropologists are just people who didn't learn to get real jobs" nonsense just reeks of that. No attempts to prove any factual evidence that provides a counter claim to the work that many anthropologists do. No thoughtful statements. Just a base insult that says that the people who have studied long and hard, spent years if not decades pursuing their goal, toiling in harsh conditions to try and come up with a solid, reasonable THESIS to present, are nothing more than a bunch of layabouts who couldn't be bothered to get a real job.

This sort of anti-intellectualism has been a real problem as of late in a lot of scientific circles. But it seems that this attitude was a long time coming, given the fact that Marville seems to express this attitude quite openly and freely, and makes it a central part of it's "narrative."

Anonymous said...

This was offensive to me as a Christian. What point was Jemas trying to make? Whose side is he on? Anybody's?

Cory of PRIVATE Corp:
Yes, Every Rose Has Its Thorn is by Poison.
Artista F:
Do you not know of Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey, the second movie? (That's what the clip was from.) Then a cartoon... but that's best not mentioned.

Did anyone else notice the angle that Jemas took that all the men were warlike and all the women peaceful?

~ Mik

FugueforFrog said...

Apparently Marville takes place in Earth-3131.

Yeah, I know - they actually went and gave this POS a specific designation in the Marvel Multiverse.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sadly Marvel seems to think every alter-universe deserves it's own designation no matter how trivial or pointless or dumb they are. At least you could say it allows for more creativity than DC's "52 universes" but you have to wonder what sort of sane person would allow for Marville to have it's own actual universe.

Then again it's not like everything in 616 is worth having around anyway with the writers they have.

Anonymous said...

The bottle was (I believe) Romulan ale. I'm pretty sure it's illegal, and not to be served at diplomatic functions.

"Oh my G-d, that was horrible."
Really? Leor, the reason to spell it 'G-d', rather than 'God', is to avoid blaspheming. With that phrase, you're obviously taking the Lord's name in vain.
Make up your mind! Either blaspheme or don't, but you're not getting away with it by skipping one letter.
It looks ridiculous like that.

~ Mik

Lewis Lovhaug said...

The bottle was (I believe) Romulan ale. I'm pretty sure it's illegal, and not to be served at diplomatic functions."

Nope, it's Aldebran Whiskey.

It's green.

Anonymous said...

My bad... I'd only vaguely paid attention to it when I watched the video.

Go ahead and serve it at diplomatic functions, then.

~ Mik

Shanethefilmmaker said...

"Nope, it's Aldebran Whiskey.

It's green."

Damn. At least you didn't resort to Scotty's old Scotch that woulda killed you, brought you back and killed you again.

Anonymous said...

It randomly occurred to me the in you XCOM stream 90's Kid was a Heavy and Psychic: therefore Cable.

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