Monday, December 20, 2010

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

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A holiday classic!


64 comments:

The Last Otori said...

This was an interesting ep. I love MST3K its really cool that this comic even exists. Just one question. Why were there no Superman at World's End jokes. The set it up perfectly. It may be a little too on the nose but come on super-powered Santa.

Mountain King said...

I… I have no words. Yes the good thing about that film is that it is so bad you have to laugh. It's legendary in bad movies and as such needs to be seen. Preferably with a handful of likeminded nerds so you can enjoy it together.
As for the comic… my god they did it. Why? What were they thinking? Were they thinking? I'm not even going to try and answer those questions, just suffer the repetitive strain injury from repeated face-palms. As I said the best bit about the film is sharing the experience, the idea of four or five people huddled around the comic jist doesn't work for me.

Good use of Spoony's SWAT4 Let's Play, the Christmas Carol at the end and the Patton Sting. My only complaint, as a Dr Who fan is that it was the perfect chance to use the Ice Warriors, or at the very least a snippet from the first Christmas Special Ahh well.

I think I already wished you both a good Christmas and happy New Year so I'll just metaphorically tip my hat and wish you both good luck.

Thomas

Toby said...

Yes.


Yessssss.

(speaking of, you should see if there are any bad issues of the Diabolik comic series)

brainchild129 said...

Wow, I cannot imagine just how rare that comic is, considering both its age and the crappy (and until MST3K came around, obscure) source material. May I ask how you obtained it?

Great review, as always. I especially liked your quite good Voldar and Dropo voices. One thing I'll say in this comic's favor, at least it knew where to cut filler, unlike the film, so we didn't have to deal with so much of Dropo's annoying antics or the infamous man-in-polar-bear-suit scene.

Finally, I'd like to wish you and Liz Happy Holidays as well. Thank you for another great year of AT4W, and I look foward to the next.

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

This marks the fourth Silver Age comic you reviewed!

J.A.P.

日本文化のマニアック said...

GYAH! I'd heard of this movie, of course, but I had no idea there was a comic book! I learn something every week. (settles down to watch review)

Falcovsleon20 said...

I have that same tradition only with the other Santa Claus movie that MST3K tore apart. Y'know, the one with the mechanical laughing reindeer.

日本文化のマニアック said...

Okay, by the time I get this post approved, a dozen other people may have asked this, but Mars' year is roughly twice as long as Earth's; how do they intend to celebrate Christmas? Around the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, the way it is on Earth? Because in that case they'd get only half the Christmases we do. Or will they synchronize their Christmas celebrations to our calendar and get a Christmas twice annually?

And am I a giant nerd for wondering any of this?

Erik Johnson said...

Bomar and Gimar? Seriously?! Did they not expect people to figure out that those are abbreviations for "Boy Martian" and "Girl Martian"? I guess the title of the movie isn't the only sign of their short supply of creativity.

Oh, and I suppose its no coincidence that "Torg" is an anagram of "Gort" from "The Day the Earth Stood Still". Obvivously the robot obey because Santa recited "Klaatu Barda Nitko" off-panel.

Well yeah, Martians can only see certain colors because of the design of their electronic eyes. Didn't you ever seen the 1953 film "War of the Worlds"?
It starred Gene Barry as Dr. Clayton Forrester who... no, not ''that'' Dr. Clayton Forrester who subjected Joel and the bots to "Santa Claus Conquered the Martians"... Whoa! I just went full circle.

Thank you for using a new clip from Patton! I was beginning to think you'd never stop using that "I read your book!" clip!

Thanks for a series of laughs that thankfully more legitimate than those Martian kids laughing. *shudder*

Merry Christmas!

Wyokid said...

It still amazes me what kind of things get published.

Anonymous said...

Wait....so the Martians are actually wussies who just made up the lies about being warriors?

Bayban the botcher is from Mars!

Jesse said...

I'm going to check out Master Piece Theater now. Haven't seen it in a while and this looks like a fun movie to see them make fun of.

WPB said...

Well, you were right... I definitely didn't expect a comic of this movie. It's too bad that Tom Servo didn't have a larger role, but otherwise it was a solid review.

Also, have a Merry Christmas.

Cristin said...

YAY LIZ AND BEAR! <3

I'm right with you. Every holiday I have to watch this movie. The the MST3K version. It's just not the same without those dudes.

Awesome review!

Happy Holidays guys!

X said...

Boy did you have such fun with this one Link! It's great to hear you in a mroe chistmass-y mood in the hoilday reviews. :D

areoborg said...

So do you watch the MST3K riffing or the Cinematic Titanic riffing?

CMWaters said...

Seeing how you've seen both the MST3K and CT versions of this, I wonder just how hard you worked to try NOT to repeat too many of the same jokes (though the extra beard thing was a given to do)

Fun look back at a cheesy movie there. One minor thing I have to say is that I wish you kept Liz's "Good God No!" in the main review itself.

Also, as I said on Twitter, this makes me fear that there's a comic of that creepy and weird Mexican Santa Claus movie.

Anyway, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Decemberween and Happy Life Day!

Anonymous said...

Now I wonder if you or your intrepid fans can find, dig up and rip into the Film Comic of "Horror of Party of Beach". Considering the caliber of the of the film and scenes added that were cut after the first release that still remain in it...It'd be perfect. Damn near impossible to find, though...

James said...

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas Linkara!

Trevor said...

Happy Holidays to you and Liz as well!

Oh boy, as soon as I saw the cover for this week's comic I could hardly wait to see the madness and lunacy of this comic! Seriously, the martians look like Horrible cosplayers for The Great Gazoo

Mario said...

I am required by Federal law to mention that Pia Zadora played Girmar, the Girl Martian.

Jer Alford said...

As those charming stand-up comedians say..."Give me more of that!".

YetAnotherGeek said...

Oh dear God!

Well, that certainly wasn't what I was expecting...and yet, I had a strange feeling that it would be flat out ridiculous.

I've never even heard of Cinematic Titanic, but that sounds great. And...Patrick Swayze Christmas? Sad how outdated that is...rest his soul.

This certainly was quite entertaining. And Merry Christmas to you too.

Jesse said...

Good show as always, Linkara! And I agree, as cheap as Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was in almost every way, it's actually not that bad if you just want to sit back and have a silly movie at Christmas. Probably why it's one of my favorite MST3K episodes.

I did not know there was a tie-in comic for this one. It certainly encourages me to continue making jokes about "use it or lose it" riders on media budgets. It certainly made for an odd little comic, but I'm glad they did it.

Excellent holiday episode, and it was nice to see Iron Liz at the end, too!

Merry Christmas, guys! See you soon!

Anonymous said...

thank you, I was really hoping you would do something Christmasy this year. you made my Christmas.

Jer Alford said...

They could have a "Santa Claus" for every planet like on Sailor Moon. "Santa Venus, Santa Mars, Santa Mercury, Santa Jupiter..." Or even better yet, have a Santa Claus Corps like the Green Lanterns.

That laughing scene is one of the creepiest things ever! I'd rather leave my kids in the care of Hannibal Lector!

Ralok said...

i havent watched this video yet

but this sounds like the greatest idea of all time

and like something from aqua teen hunger force

Joe said...

And a very Mary Christmas to you all too

deuxhero said...

I would assume the bad guy is an idiot and doesn't realize "planet of war" means that Mars is named after Mars, Roman God of War


What's being yelled at the end?

Walky said...

And now, I am more interested in finding this movie.

Radar said...

Waitaminnit! My friend had a cardboard robot costume for Halloween one year and it was awesome! I still don't know how he rigged working Christmas lights into it!

Lotus Prince said...

Bomar and Gimar? Seriously? Boy-Martian and Girl-Martian? Damn you, 1960's and your lack of creativity!

Also, thanks so much for reminding us all of the hilarious MST3K classic, and making us aware of this awesomely bad comic! I wonder if they'll rerelease the comic with drawings of the silhouetted robots, giving their riffs.

Eric said...

I have to track down that episode of MST3K, anyone have a link to it?

Tetsu Deinonychus said...

Don't worry, this movie is a X-mas tradition of mine, too. In fact the DVD is right on my end table. I had no idea they ever made a comic, though.

Anyway, I had a really stressful, horrible day. This was just what I needed. Thank you Linkara!

Bruce said...

I know the movie but they made a COMIC???

TekJansen said...

Nice review! ^^ Hope you and Liz, and all other viewers here have a wonderful Christmas!

Also, I hope blip takes down this latest ad, ._. I can deal with pop-up ads, but when they leave a button on the vid it's soooo annoying, who wants to open an ad again!?

Richard said...

Hilarious review!
Though I feel you should have left Liz's comment in the main video.
"There IS a comic"
-"Oh good God no!"

Anonymous said...

You've given all of your fans who are also MSTies a great present, Lewis. I personally prefer the MST3K Santa Claus riffing, but to each their own.;) Merry Christmas, sir!

Jeff said...

This was a great review. I'm a fairly new viewer (I started only this past fall). Thank you for your efforts in providing entertainment and fun, and may you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

P.S. I can't believe they made a movie like that.

PockyMech said...

You have a neat Christmas tradition. I liked the jokes after the video most, but the McFarlane toys reference was nice.

Merry Christmas to you and Iron Liz as well, Linkara. :-)

Rhomega said...

I love the MST3K version of this movie, in fact this is my 3rd year watching it. One major difference I noted about the comic is that the Martian ship looks like a flying saucer instead of the "cricket lighter". The movie also has my favorite MST3K quote.

Kimar: Voldar, this is another one of your delaying tactics! You've been opposing me at every turn! I'm warning you, change your attitude!
Crow: (backsassing) I'm warning you, change your attitude!

Jason said...

If the Martians didnt want their kids watching Earth Programs, why would they make a machine that is capable of doing it?

Justin said...

Well, I must say. That was quite a lot of fun.

And a rather excellent birthday gift.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you and your loved ones Lewis, and here's to the future.

Justin S Harrison

SailorCardKnight said...

*has not started watching video just yet/sees what today's comic is/bursts up laughing*

Seriously?! They made a comic version? This ought to be good...

Lizard-Man said...

This was a big surprise! I didn't think there would be a comic of THIS movie... ever. How you got it is unknown to me but I'm glad you did.

Yeah, Santa conquers the Martians may be a stupid movie but it's a harmless movie. Its meant for little kids, so really if you can't laugh at it and enjoy yourself there is something wrong with you. Of course it helps when Joel and the Bots are laughing along with ya.

Great little Christmasy review Linkara, I enjoyed the new old guy voice too and thanks for sharing one of your own holiday traditions with us, that was nice.

You know what would've been a good companion piece for this review? that short comic of Santa fighting his way through Apokolips just to deliver Darkseid some coal. Most badass depiction of Santa ever.

Anyway, great job sir.

Literate Dead said...

Ha HA! Another with the same annual routine?

MST3k is a family standard here (possibly the only thing my mother, brother,and I agree on when we're together), so "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is obligatory for us (Cinematic Titanic's only made it worse... now we have to watch it -twice- every holiday season :P). Mostly because I'm the only one who can sit through the Mexican 'Santa Claus', and otherwise because my tone-deaf mother likes to sing along with the 'Hooray for Santa Claus' song. Ow!

Still, awesome review! When you mentioned a special Christmas comic that was probably unheard of, I didn't see this one coming. I was half expecting something along the lines of last year's nightmare *shudder*.

It's kind of sad that a comic, designed to make a film made with more cardboard sets than "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" look good, can't even tell a simple joke right ('Martian Marshmallow'... really?!). Still, it makes for a nice bit of riffing.

And I was almost worried you'd missed out on the 'ventilation shaft in the airlock' issue... That one's bugged me ever since I was five!

Paul S. said...

Just pulled out my DVD of the MST3k episode right now. Holds upreally well.

Yogurt said...

Same issue I had with the movie: Santa doesn't really "conquer" the Martians as much as he wins them over with charm and mildly annoys a military leader.

Now "Santo vs. The Martians" (the alternate is "El Santo Conquers the Martians")? Now there we see the martians get legitimately conquered.

Once a masked mexican wrestler grinds your elite guard to dust and then body slams your leader like a sack of potatos, yeah, you've been conquered.

Merry Christmas to you, Linkara!

Anonymous said...

hey linkara i was just wondering when you will post a link to your riff of the power rangers/tmnt episode anyway this episode was good and have a mary christmas

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"hey linkara i was just wondering when you will post a link to your riff of the power rangers/tmnt episode anyway this episode was good and have a mary christmas "

The audio is too difficult to make out, so releasing it would just leave a lot of people frustrated that they can't hear it.

sam said...

Showed your review to my dad, who is both a MST3K fan and saw Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in theaters.

He actually said that his brother had a copy of the comic. It came with a free record of the song from the movie.

Great review. Merry Christmas.

Sierradragon said...

Thank you for an awesome show. I am a huge mst3k fan and that christmas special is my favorite episode. I especially loved the ending with their special song. You rock and hope you have both a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Entertainer13 said...

I grew up watching this movie every single Christmas. It is infamous in my family. Why, dear God, did I not know THIS existed?!

Lizzie said...

I never did make it through that episode of MST3K. Right around when the Martians pick up the kids my brain just said "Buhhhh". But I'm thinking I should try again, with some friends this time.

I don't know how you find these things! A lot of fun this week. While, as Mountain King says, you can't huddle a group around the comic so much, we CAN get together to watch the latest Atop the Fourth Wall. So that's something.

Again, Merry Christmas to you and Liz! (And Tom, Pollo, and Bear)

-Oracle

Jason said...

Hi. Been watching AT4W (is that acceptable) for the past few months, and this is my first comment. I kinda wish that the people who produce the MST3K DVDs bundle Santa Claus Conquers The Martians and Santa Claus together, instead of charging a lot for four episodes. Even if they had to throw in, say, Crow with a red nose, it would still be cheaper.

And I think Santa would've gone to Mars on his own. It's all of a part of Santa Inc., financed by reclusive billionaire Kristopher Kringle. Members include Father Christmas (England), Babbo Natale (Italy), Tomten (Sweden), Père Noël (France), Julenissen (Norway), and Joulupukki (the Finnish "Yule Goat"). Their greatest foe? Mexican Satan. See how it all ties together?

Sijo said...

This is supposed to be one of the worst movies ever made? Sorry, I've seen stupider, nastier stuff with far worse production values. It might not even be the worst Christmas movie ever!

Still, it IS pretty bad and deserves to be made fun of. So thanks for that Linkara, it was a nice Christmas Episode. :)

Btw, call me crazy, but I think a new version of Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, with a better story and effects (possibly animated) could work out. Heck, next year we are getting Mars Needs Moms! (yes, seriously) so...

Greg said...

I watch the movie (as well as the MST3K Santa claus) every year with my dad. He reminds me that not only did he see it in theaters, but he saw in theaters at least three times. It would seem that here in St. Louis they would bring the movie back every Christmas.

Hope you had a good christmas Linkara, great video

acres-and-acres said...

When it comes to the kids with the knowledge of adults thing, knowledge does not equal maturity. Being geeky I will pull another fictional character out. Ivy, or the Archive, from The Dresden Files has all written knowledge stored in her mind. That said, she wrote a contract for a duel to the death to end a war in crayon and is distracted by kitties. I'm not saying that this comic wasn't stupid for doing it, just that I'm willing to accept it in other stories.

shikome kido mi said...

I remember this movie, though I didn't actually think it was one of their funniest episodes (which is by no means the same as not funny, it IS Mystery Science Theatre). And now I'm inspired to go rewatch MST3K again.

Is it just me or is Santa reminiscent of Mark Hamill's Joker in that creepy laughing scene?

Night said...

This better be good, you did the opening right. :P

Wait, the robot is Torg? Is that like Torgo? Is there some great confluence of bad movies that demands they reference each other?

Splat. I'm not sure I want to know.

Actually, it looks like the kids could fit into that air duct. Though, apparently, the Martians actually read the Evil Overlord List. That's worrying.

...that is a disturbing laughing scene. Although if you really wanted to turn it up a little, you should have shifted to the Mechakara reverb.

Geoffrey said...

I'm amazed nobody posted about this. I can tell you why they changed the thing where the aliens take the kids against their will: Comics Code Authority.

Aliens taking children is kidnapping, something expressly forbidden under the Comics Code.

Geoffrey said...

Er, left out, specifically kidnapping children.

enigmus20 said...

So, low on conquest, high on creepy laughs is how Santa rolls on Mars?

Dragons Dusk said...

That completely improved my mood. Thank you :)

Linkara+ MST:3K for the win.