Monday, January 2, 2012

Marville #1



Ted Turner, AOL, and a kid who thinks time travel gives him superpowers. I only wish this was a joke, because then something actually FUNNY would happen in this comic.



141 comments:

ackbarfan5556 said...

TOO FUNNY! Another Great episode Mr. Lovhaug!

RJHammer said...

OMG. I'm glad that Peter David won the bet. His captain marvel was way better then this. Oh heck it's still better then some crap marvel publishes now. Sad they pretty much killed off the character with bad writing in Thunderbolts after the series was canceled. Since they have tried to find a new Captain Marvel with a skrull, time traveling, and well whatever that thing is in Avengers now. How stupid Bendis' avengers has been is rant for another story. Yes I am trying to avoid talking about this horrible piece of crap that was Marville. I still put better then Bendis' Avengers, OMD, boring Civil War mini, and some of the other stuff. It's less insulting and less damaging to marvel universe then the others.

FugueforFrog said...

Just finished watching it...and yeah, what just happened? So Ted Turner lives 3,000 years in the future, has a teenage son who goes back in time, and he gets into some random wacky adventures? Yeah...it's obvious now why this didn't sell. (and looking up some of what happens later, it just gets worse...much worse) There was a lot of random on your end but some of it at least was funny on your side. (and I say we need the usher as the main character, not time-travelling son of Ted Turner)

BTW: Dan Slott's a nice guy, Lewis, having met him myself. (that was back when he did Shulkie though...not sure his rep these days with Spider-Man and all)

Bossman103 said...

Good review, this looks bad. I have read worse than this look up hotspur comics. However i do not get this, if its comedy it is not funny. Ted and Jane are nopt funny and Kalaol is not a likable hero just a jerk. Mickey is a idiot for taking in this bozo. I have seen some of tjhe covers for the rerest all i can say is that sexism rant coming up soon.

August M. said...

Peter David? The same Peter David who wrote the Earth-Born Angel Supergirl? Oh I love that run. Sad that his idea of making a team book on Silver age Supergirl, Earth-Born Angel Supergirl, and Power Girl(Which are my top three Supergirls) never came to be.

Anyways, great review and I hope you had a great New Year.

Radar said...

I dunno Link, The Prometheam Exchange. a three-part Excalibur story arc is godawful! The art looks like it was done by my six-year-old and the heroes in the story are idiots! Especially Kitty Pryde! I know, you can't believe it either.

The Blue And The Gold said...

*Scribbles note* Do not bring up Smallville in Lewis' presence.

Also, couple things I couldn't help notice about the comic:

Shouldn't Alan Greenspan have maybe put the money straight away when KalAOL left? I know, there would be no story without it but... hey, that would have been great! I mean, he sits there patting it like it's a dog or something and they're out on a porch!

Also, since the money was KalAOL's, technically speaking, wouldn't that make it not so much a reward but his own property being returned to him?

The Blue And The Gold said...

"(and I say we need the usher as the main character, not time-travelling son of Ted Turner)"

Maybe he should team up with the usher from Spider-Man 2 and we have a sitcom with them.

areoborg said...

I have discovered a way to make this comic funny!

*saws the top of his head off and gently removes his brain*

THIS IS THE BEST COMIC EVER!

*drool*

The Exiled One said...

"Peter David? The same Peter David who wrote the Earth-Born Angel Supergirl? Oh I love that run. Sad that his idea of making a team book on Silver age Supergirl, Earth-Born Angel Supergirl, and Power Girl(Which are my top three Supergirls) never came to be."

I actually remember that happening.

And, strangely enough, I remember Bizaroo being the one who put the team together.

The Exiled One said...

Here's a question:

should Linkara review a REAL "Smallville" comic?

I know that they DID make comics out of "Smallville" (I don't mean the regular Superman books, I actually mean comics that actually take place in the "Smallville" universe), but I never read them.

I DO know that Clint Carpenter writes them, and that the first issue featured a boy mutating into a dinosaur.

So, for those who have read the actual "Smallville" comics: is there any issue that Linkara could review?

Alex Niemi said...

I think the 'Truth and justice. American way to follow' joke is in reference to the fact that the Superman fighting for the American way was added in the 1950s television show, and to be honest I thought it was little funny. Other than that though this comic only manages to be slight above cancer on the humor scale.

harmonicajay said...

My forehead hurts from slapping it. *sigh* I wish I could just... Ugh. I hate this comic. Seriously, how freaking immature do writers have to be to take jabs at rival companies. Oh, JLA/Avengers, The Power of Shazam!, Legion of Superheroes, Superman, Green Lantern, and Gail Simone's run of Wonder Woman. But that is just my list. Then again, you may have just been listing comics that may have been out at the time. Just wanted to do my own part to one-up this garbage.
This comic makes me want to just punch Peter David in the freaking face. This is a time waster. Not the review, just the freaking comic.
Personally, I liked some parts of Smallville (season 9 is my favorite) but I understand the annoyance of having another Superman origin that takes ten years. Personally, I would have liked to have seen the Aquaman series picked up and gotten rid of a few seasons of Smallville and Chloe Sullivan. But, that is just me and my opinion

Anonymous said...

Did you know that another person reviewed this in direct tribute and parody to you, complete with doing a version of your theme song and having Ninja Style Dancer and 90's Kid make cameos.

Matthew G said...

I think some people will object to your lengthy treatment of the info dump at the beginning, but I think it's fine.

While I rather liked the review, I didn't think that there were quite enough jokes.

P.S. I wonder how you are going to handle the "evolution vs. intelligent design"-part, mostly because discussions on it ALWAYS devolve into the type of discussion that you always get when religion is discussed on the internet by people who aren't professional philosophers and/or biologists (and even then, sometimes it just gets worse - I'm looking at you PZ Myers).

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"This comic makes me want to just punch Peter David in the freaking face. This is a time waster. Not the review, just the freaking comic."

Erm, it was Bill Jemas who wrote this, not Peter David. XD

harmonicajay said...

"Erm, it was Bill Jemas who wrote this, not Peter David. XD"
My mistake. Still.

Jesse said...

Whenever I run into something this bad I think of it as a farce. Sure, it didn't work by farce rules, but it's better than taking it as it is.

CaptainCalvinCat said...

Whikey tango Foxtrott?
You gotta be kidding me, what is this?
Okay, granted, I found a few jokes funny - for example the fact, that the "hero" of the comic is indeed an idiot, who thinks, that he is a superhero. But... that doesn't justify the existence of that comic.

I'd rather read the comic, which Peter David wrote, because he is actually a good author - I like his Imzadi-books and "the new frontier"...

Great Review, Linkara, well done.

Greets

Cal

MichaelGrey said...

Wow. Marville's definitely one of the worst comics of the decade.

To be fair, I can sympathize with someone who tries to change what a comic is about some time in. They think that a new angle would fit the story better. But it doesn't always work. Sometimes yes, it can work. But not this time. This time it just made things worse.

The first two issues were fairly bad but not pretenious garbage. We could KINDA forgive it...but THEN Marville then just began biting off more than it could chew. It's arms were too short to box with good comedy, what made it think it stood a chance on a "deep" level?

This comic had the same problem as Bimbos in Time. It was telling jokes...and nobody was laughing. "THIS! ISN'T!FUNNY!" was a perfect end to the story. And to think...it only got WORSE. >.<

13th Doctor said...

Wow, this comic is freaking indefensible. I have no words. Is Marvel ALWAYS this hostile towards DC?

rdfox said...

Lewis, I gotta say... for someone who doesn't drink, you do an amazingly accurate "hung over" impression!

rdfox said...

(And I forgot to put this in the first post... I blame my Death Cold for making me scatterbrained.)

I will admit to getting a chuckle out of the Ticketmaster joke, though.

BooRat said...

Wow, that was funny! You not the comic! Thumbs up on the Robot Chicken skits!
CAPTAIN PLANET!!!!
I was curious of this comic when I saw the cover in your videos and thought it was a serious comic... NOT THIS! I thought it was like a serious Smallville like take on some character!
I kind of liked Smallville at 1st but dropped out around season 3-4!
I read the wiki page on this which was very short another bad sign this is a terrible comic if not enough people read it to write a decent page for it or not enough people cared to do so! And from what I read the only thing that caught my eye was Caveman Wolverine but from that image you showed at the end it looks stupid as hell!
So this was Ted Turner Jr. story! Man, that was worst than I pictured!
I didn't get one single joke or reference in this book and I know a lot of useless trivia! People need to learn that good comedy and parody comes from playing things strait not complete goofiness!

PS: If you ever do another countdown of funniest jokes of yours the slow humorless laugh was pretty damn funny! :D
The only good thing I can say about this book is the artwork isn't terrible! woot!

BooRat said...

Oh and the Orel name I think was a bad Oral joke as in BJ!

The Black Fedora said...

As a handicapped man who would move to the U.S.A. if it weren't for the way you turned health care into a business I liked the jab by the scalper. Also this comic was dumb. What I disliked was the disdain in which it held the genre. Idiot who thinks he's a superhero can work but that's the /only/ good idea in this comic and should be pursued in comics.

AdamantiumRage said...

Hey, I'm wearing that Secret Wars shirt right now! Coincidence, or...something more?...
*dun-dun-DUN!*

David 2 said...

Once again the review is far better than the comic itself. Thank you Linkara, and you have my condolences for having to put up with the rest of those issues.

Peter said...

While I agree that this comic isn't funny and isn't very good, I think you only hate it because You're a DC fanboy.

Count_Zero said...

That comic was bad. That was really really bad. I'm speechless.

I'd say that at least Bill Jemas time at Marvel left us with a new official tabletop RPG, except the game in question was probably one of the worst implementations of a diceless RPG system in supers gaming I'd ever seen before or since.

DrZulu2010 said...

I've heard of the comic's badness. And wow is it worse than I thought.


BTW, Am I the only one who thought that the pow sound may be from the dog's? (and who use a pow sound when they fart?)


Still Nice comic. Good thing Bill Jemnas lost his bet.

Anonymous said...

Putting the awful comic aside for the moment, whats the problem you have with Smallville anyway?

CanterEdlund said...

This is... literally the first review of yours that I ever had to stop watching because of how bad the comic was (though I did come back to it). Only other time that happened was the MST3K of Warriors of the Lost World. I mean just WOW...

Sijo said...

You know, Lewis, I know you exaggerate your reactions to entertain the audience, but sometimes it confuses me about what you really mean.

Surely you realize that the whole Marville comic was done in a "reality is subject to humor" style ala The Fairly Oddparents? It ISN'T supposed to make sense, just string the jokes and references along.

Admittedly those jokes were lame and the references dated, but that says more about the author than the story. Jemas may honestly have found them funny.

On the other hand, I agree that the sheer meanness of the whole deal- from doing the challenge Peter David to the constant jabs at DC comics- is pathetic, and speaks poorly of Jemas.

One thing: wasn't there supposed to be a THIRD comic involved in the U-Decide contest? I can't recall what it was though.

Falcovsleon20 said...

Let's see, clips of my favorite Robot Chicken sketch, the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past joke, your blank sarcastic laugh, yeah this might be my new favorite episode now.

You sure this comic wasn't written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer under a pseudonym? Because that's what the "humor" in this kept reminding me of.

Nitz the Bloody said...

On the plus side, Jemas helped Captain Marvel's sales with this stunt, by placing it next to such a terrible comic.

And while I'm not defending Marville, Jemas did a lot of good for Marvel. At the time, Marvel was known for taking bigger risks than DC, and moving away from crossovers, extensive continuity, and other blights upon the industry. This was the period when they had Grant Morrison on the X-Men, the original Ultimates comics, the Marvel Knights books in full swing, and the MAX line. This was also the period when Marvel abolished the Comics Code and started collecting everything in trade paperbacks, giving them a greater bookstore presence.

It didn't all work out in the end, especially with some of Jemas' more bizarre and frankly stupid moves (such as booting Mark Waid off of the Fantastic Four to make it a sitcom book), but it was certainly a better period for superhero comics than a lot of what we see now.

Anonymous said...

Hey! Smallville was awesome! At the very least, it got Clark a LOT more accurate then some of the comics you've featured him did!

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"One thing: wasn't there supposed to be a THIRD comic involved in the U-Decide contest? I can't recall what it was though."

There was, but since I've barely heard anything about it and I'm not sure how it even got involved in the bet and the contest, I didn't feel it needed any comment.

MaTachi said...

Really fun review! Love how stupid the comic is. :D

Ken Godberson said...

This comic doesn't exist Lewis, stop lying. >D

And glad to see a reference to the Young Justice comic (the Peter David one, not the current one based on the show, which I've yet to check out). I guess I was wondering, since you're a major Titans fan, if you ever read the "Graduation Day" crossover...thing.

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

See you suffering because of a ludicrous comic really amuses me and you always manage to give me a new smile and a couple of chuckles on my face every first or third week of the month easily.

But please, drink alcohol will never make anyone a better reviewer. The Drinking is a bad joke and should be avoided in future reviews despite the majority of the fans laugh about see you drunk before, during or after a review.

In my honest opinion and according to general consensus alcohol most of the time leads to disaster and you are giving a bad example for children and that includes all people above 14 years old because in my country the authorities decide to establish a ban against people under 18 drinking alcohol beverages so therefore in Brazil everybody under 18 is now consider a kid and as such their lives will be turned into a repressive living hell while everybody else can drink as much they can and go to jail if they do anything that goes against the law when not sober or sober yet.

Isn't that great ? 18 years old is now the official age when stupidity induced by legalized drugs is allowed until you do something really stupid like drive a car and kill somebody because you was drunk.

I guess lot of stuff in the mainstream media gets the green light going through this same induced process like the now deceased Playboy's Club tv show or the cancelled remake of Charlie's Angels.

Can we hope to green light an vlog apology from Linkara addressed to Frank Miller if we get your character really drunk ? That would be awesome, irresponsible Nick Cage-esque awesome and stupid as any good example of alcohol abuse is meant to be and yet AWESOME like Tony Stark, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin and Mel Gibson all together in a road trip with Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid.

Please help and support the necessary awareness against alcohol abuse, your main character and "Our Heroes Ladies and Gentlemen" deserve better assistance than jokes powered by cheap booze.

And by the way maybe, just maybe, i add Marville on my clients list for (add Epic tone here) "COMICS THAT MUST BE DEFENDED FOR GENERATIONS TO COME DESPITE THE FACT SOMEONE ELSE GIVE THEM AN ACCURATE REVIEW SHOWING HOW MUCH BAD WRITTEN AND EDITED THEY ALLEGEDLY ARE" (ending Epic tone).

Good review Lewis and i preemptive respectfully disagree with you until i read the comic book series with my own eyes and make my own opinion about it, until that i give this series the fair and necessary benefit of the doubt.

I see you in court Admiral.

End credits JAG Opening Theme

"Donald P. Bellisario RULES"

The Id said...

I think the third was in the Ultimate Lineup of books, a parody of Batman and Robin it was Ultimate Adventures. It was insignificant even among the Ultimate books.

BlackoutCreature said...

Oh Linkara, I've been waiting for this one ever since I started following AT4W, way back when you were still doing text reviews. I honestly believe that this would be considered the worst comic ever published if it wasn't overshadowed by another awful comic that came out at almost the exact same time - The Dark Knight Strikes Again.

When mentioning the future issues I was surprised you didn't mention the Batman/Iron Man/Black Panther "fight". That always stood out to me as being particularly horrible.

I wish you would've gotten more into the U-Decide bet itself. While just as stupid as this book, the story behind that disaster and its aftermath (or lack of aftermath) was way more entertaining.

For those wondering about the third book in U-Decide, it was called Ultimate Adventures, written by Ron Zimmerman with supposedly a lot of influence by Joe Quesada himself. It was basically an animated Batman parody/homage (to be polite) set in the Ultimate Universe. In my opinion it wasn't THAT bad, but I wouldn't call it good either. Pretty forgettable mostly. It was probably best known for its release delays. It and Peter Davids relaunched Captain Marvel both had their first issues released the same week. By the time Ultimate Adventures #6 came out Captain Marvel was at like issue 20 and the U-Decide bet was long forgotten about.

Ming said...

That . . . was . . . truly . . . terrible . . .

How was this possible they let this see print? I mean, can you imagine what if this series continued? If the other issues are like what we have witnessed in the first issue, I think we're all screwed.

P.S.: Your rant against Marville is incredibly funny. Great way to start the new year, by beating down one of the most hated comics ever.

Can't wait to see what's next!

Anonymous said...

Ok seriously Capt. Sake

SHUT

THE

$%#@

UP!

Don't you get it?! No one gives a damn about your long-winded criticisms for every single video! Did you seriously write a frickin book on Lewis just making a drinking joke?! WTF?!

Your "opinions" are badly chosen and continue to amaze how you make a friggen big deal about the smallest, uncared about detail.

Seriously! Just shut up!

Scraps {NewDil4EVER} said...

Why do I think Kal-AOL is going to be the Q of your show?

OK, I lied. Q is way more intellegent and competent than this one-hit blunder.

Anonymous said...

Interesting review,however it is more stunnig that someone has already covered it.I have a link to prove it.There is the link http://blip.tv/Classic-Bash/rip-off-artists-1-linkara-5281345

Jarkes said...

"While I agree that this comic isn't funny and isn't very good, I think you only hate it because You're a DC fanboy."

Noooo, he hates it because it SUCKS. Although, yeah, Lewis DOES sometimes come across as a DC fanboy. SOMETIMES.

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for you to notice that meteor heading for the scapler. I was weirded out by the fact it was there and never played on.

I love baseball and I didn't even get the hand chopping joke. Guess you'd have to be a Braves fan instead of a Twins fan.

popeyedboy said...

I'm surprised Linkara. No criticism of the fact that the guy who protests the chopping is just a straw character there to poke fun at people who find it offensive but really just ends up making the comic even less enjoyable?

Things like Marville...they're one of three kinds of looks into a genre. You've got the light parodies like Police Squad that do something, but make it clear that even as the characters do it seriously it's still laughable. There are the sometimes dark deconstructions like Watchmen which point out what happens when you try to impose implausible things on the real world. Then there are things like Marville. Unpleasant, dull, meandering babbling that shoves jokes in your face and demands that you laugh.

Adam said...

People getting foiled by dog farts, industry in-jokes that even the 3% percent who get it won't laugh at, an inability to decide if they worship or hate the competition, and a story that stopped making sense after 10 seconds. And Ted Turner was there.

I get it! Bill Jemas is secretly Vince Russo!

Anonymous said...

Granted, I haven't read Marville, but I think the whole "Our deaths will give you a heightened sense of responsibility" joke was actually not that bad. Doesn't it seem like rather a lot of superheroes get their primary motivation from the death of a loved one and/or have dead parents? The only problem with the gag in this comic was context. If this had been in a comic that was actually a timeless work of satirical dark comedy, it could have potentially worked.

And in many ways, knowing that makes it worse.

Anonymous said...

You know, you should probably lay off the Aldebaran whiskey. Especially before a review. ... Just sayin'.

(Thinks for a sec after watching the review.)

On second thought, pass me the bottle.

Fiery Little One

Arianne said...

OY!I feel stupid from just listening to the review and upcoming comics.Its like reading a actual Troll fic instead of listening to a dramatic reading. My brain haven't felt this dumb after a review since Bimbos in time and the two Super Foxes reviews.
Just have a good 2012 Linkara!!

The Physicist said...

Speaking of Matrix/Linda Danvers Supergirl, what the hell happened to her anyway? The ending to the last issue doesn't make a lot of sense. And how come no one ever mentions her to Kara later on?

AmuroNT1 said...

My God, man, how can you do this to yourself? That was horrendous. It reminded me of those terrible parody movies where every character feels the need to stop, turn to the camera, and announce "I'm Jack Sparrow, everyone! You know, from Pirates of the Caribbean?" Of course, even if they hadn't done that, the jokes would still have been painfully unfunny.

Also, as an Georgian, I can tell you that we still do the Tomahawk Chop at Braves games. There have been on-and-off complaints from Native American groups, but in general we don't care. Besides, they already got us to change our mascot from Chief Knock-A-Homa to a generic baseball-headed monstrosity called "Homer".

(PS, if anyone wants to know what the Chop looks/sounds like, go watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights, specifically the archery contest scene. "Hey everyone, Robin gets another shot! Let's give 'im the Chop!")

Rowdy C said...

Since I AM a baseball fan, I may as well point this out: the chant Ted makes when chopping is supposed to sound along the lines of "WHOA-OH-OOH-OH," since that's what Braves fans chant when doing the chop. Now you can be forgiven for the mispronunciation because you admit to not following baseball. But it means you can add one more thing this comic screwed up on, because your confusion also means the writer didn't know how to spell it out correctly!!!

Quietm4n said...

wow that's a piece of crap I remember seeing those U-Decide ads I'm amazed they even did them since when you put the covers of the 3 books together who wouldn't pick up Captain Marvel first? I'm pretty sure that 3rd book was Owlman (judging from the ad) who's just a Batman knock off and fittingly faded away into obscurity unlike this travesty. when I saw this on the list I tried to find out more about it but other then the bet story I couldn't find anything except softcore porn, I mean the covers. what was that a bottle of anyway? and come on Lewis you can't ask LittleKuriboh make hilarious bits for you he has to make more Yu-Gi-Oh: TBS for everyone lol. anyway loved the review can't wait for the next one.

Ozaline said...

I actually don't think the "Hijinx, Hijinx, American Way"

Joke was all that bad... it followed a standard joke formulae, (the rule of three, establishing, confirming and then subverting our expectations)... and was probably the best joke in the comic.


But yeah this is one of the stupidest comics I've ever seen.

Ozaline said...

Oh one other thing it seems his comment about the Marvel Way, was based not on his lack of super powers but rather the fact that he's a normal joe who will get a normal job... and fight evil cause he has the ability and drive to do so.

Except this still fails, because he's rich so he doesn't need a normal job (and Marvel has it's share of rich supeheroes too like Iron Man). So really it feels like the author fails to understand his own damn plot points and arguements.

Oh

"Speaking of Matrix/Linda Danvers Supergirl, what the hell happened to her anyway? The ending to the last issue doesn't make a lot of sense. And how come no one ever mentions her to Kara later on? "

Last Post-Crisis Linda Danvers was seen she was carted off to Hell during Reign in Hell... but she did actually meet Post-Crisis Kara Zor-El before that when she teamed up with various incarnations of Supergirl in an issue of Superman/Batman. For a while Matrix had been retconned out of the DC universe (though Kara did make a vague reference to previous Supergirls in an early issue of her own title), but was eventually restored... maybe... it's really not clear.

And hell if she exists in Post-New-52, I have no freaking clue.

I'm still pissed off about Supergirl's relationships with Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Stargirl and most notably Lana Lang being undone with the new-52.. but at least Supergirl's book is pretty good.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"and come on Lewis you can't ask LittleKuriboh make hilarious bits for you he has to make more Yu-Gi-Oh: TBS for everyone lol. anyway loved the review can't wait for the next one."

Actually, in this case he only gave me the voiceover and I did the lip flaps. For the record, he deserves more props on that than he gets, because it's a time-consuming process trying to match up everything said.

Fanatic-Templar said...

So, as a newbie, I don't quite understand the "I could start to do things the Marvel way. You know, have a realistic lifestyle with a job and everything, and then fight crime out of a sense or responsibility."

That last part, I thought that was what Superman did? I always understood the destruction of Krypton origin as an explanation for his superpowers, not as a motivation for his superheroing career.

Can someone better informed correct me on this?

Lotus Prince said...

While I freaking love this review, as well as your delivery, I will say that certain jokes, like Greenspan having KalAOL's money in a sack, and knowing that it won't be good for 3000 years, works as a joke BECAUSE of its absurdity.

I didn't say that the joke was funny; just that I understand why it exists. :-D

Victor Hernandez said...

Linkara please tell me that you hate the Fairly Oddparents. They also exolain the joke all the damn time and depend too much on recent (for the time the show was made) pop culture.
Yeah, Peter David's run on Captain Marvel was awesome.

Adam said...

"I'm still pissed off about Supergirl's relationships with Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Stargirl and most notably Lana Lang being undone with the new-52.. but at least Supergirl's book is pretty good."

Could be worse... she could be Power Girl in the new 52.

Angel Asylum said...

this is a pretty week review,we get you don't like it... hell it sounds stupid to me and this is the first I've heard anything about it, but to me it comes of more on just harping rather then reviewing, we got that it was 500X the third time you brought it up no need to bring it up 8 more time's, this kinda just goes up on that stack where the anti-lulz swallowed you up and wouldn't let go.
you can do better we've seen you do better, this was just an odd duck. I along with your fan base will be here next time same bat-time same bat-channel.

Freyaday said...

Wow. That was an awful comic. In an effort to assuage your pain, please enjoy these lines from a Lemon Demon song:
(commas added for rhythm)

The King, of Mars,
Perfects, his commentary skills
I'm a gold-plated man-monkey full of dollar bills

I do believe that made more sense than this mean-spirited comic. I'm all for satire and parody, but not when it's mean-spirited. Also, it helps to actually be funny and make sense.

This was one of the funniest AT4Ws in a while. Not to say that recent episodes haven't been funny, this one was just funnier.

Also, I found this list of things related to comic books that should not have been. Enjoy!
http://www.cracked.com/article_19446_the-6-most-wtf-special-edition-comics-ever-released.html

Disjointed grafs* with no fluidity or transitions are the best!

*graf: a journalistic paragraph. Shorter than a regular paragraph.

Potatoes.

Freyaday said...

Oh! Them walking away with a toaster from the bank may have been a reference to an incident from near the beginning of the original run of Amazing Spider-Man (run-ons ftw) where Aunt May goes to the bank to cash in on a free toaster deal and gets scammed out of it. Or maybe it was the movie. This comic has messed with my head. Now I'm hungry. For fire. And sentence fragments. Whoo.

MarieNomad said...

Well, I just watched the video. I like to point out an error on the information page. Peter's foster parents weren't killed by a burglar. Only his Uncle Ben died. Aunt May lived on way after that. In fact, she's still alive.

I groaned at the 'American Way joke'.

I think that I also figured out why it's dangerous for Ted Turner and Jane Fonda to go back to the present era. You see, Ted Turner and Jane Fonda lived in the present era. Maybe the future Ted and Jane were afraid of causing an accidental paradox when the two versions meet.

Yes, I just found logic in the Marville comic. Do I get a prize?

CaptainCalvinCat said...

“Joke was all that bad... it followed a standard joke formulae, (the rule of three, establishing, confirming and then subverting our expectations)... and was probably the best joke in the comic.”


That’s the point. The entire comic followed the exact same pattern.
Subverting the expectations of the readership, by pointing out, what might have happened and then subverting them. Actually, that caused me to smile on a few occasions. And I am sure, if the authors wouldn`t have it handled that lazily, it could have become quite a clever story. The ingredients were there.

I mean – a frakking moron, who thinks, he is a super-hero? That could have been great.
The authors however had just one joke, and they repeated it.

Tom Badguy said...

Wow. That had to be a chore for you to do.

Cecilrosa said...

Wow, so many unfunny jokes. The one good thing about this comic is that while watching this review I couldn't help but think of how to make a funny parody comic using these some of these concepts. Having a character continually walking into cliche situations that seem to almost push him into superhero-dome could be a fun series if it had good writing and the right sense of humour (maybe written by someone like a Christopher Hastings). Unfortunately we got this. Also, what does the cover have to do with anything? Is the cover supposed to be some sort of reference to something?

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

@Annoyingnimous

Seriously, quoting Caesar immortal words on Rise of the Planet of the Apes : "NO!"

Have a good day Sir.

@Lewis

Marville is a joke and not meant to last in any sense, Peter David's Captain Marvel is a rip off of the character with the same name written by the same writer and for the piece of resistance Ultimate Adventures is clearly an All Star Batman & Robin rip off and evidence for the viability of time travel and i love it.

You will never understand the jokes on this comic books because my dear boy despite all booze at your disposal this fact remain :

(loud and paused for maximized dramatic effect) "YOU...ARE...NOT...A...HACK!" So stop pretend to be one Lovhaug, the bottle don't suit you. Only real Hacks can drink like that and stand still like men and you Sir is clearly an amateur with a sloppy drinking technic, an Irish-American Ninja could do it better but an Norwegian-Ameerican Ninja can't do the same.

The American Hacks Association or A-HA vehemently condemn drinking activities perpetrated, suggested or incentive by people under 30 without the necessary concerned mature guidance or in simple terms: "BAD...BAD,BAD,BAD Lewis. You embarrassed yourself and bring shame to your elders! Now go back to your own apartment, consider yourself grounded until you go to MagFest and after you come back get grounded again until everything is back on schedule Mister."

Have fun on MagFest young man, see you at Miller Time.

P.S.: And no more booze for you!

End Credits : Family Guy - Peter Sings with his Irish Dad Song.

Trekker4747 said...

Funny review, Lewis! Very funny!

That comic looks like a mess, such a mess that I was compelled to eBay its six-issue run to experience it myself! I find it a bit funny that the comic seems to want to blast DC's heroes when DC can be credited with starting the modern comic industry that Marvel delights in so much.

But man, from what you show us alone this comic is a complete and total mess! (I also find it a bit odd that it appears to make fun of Spider-Man (a Marvel character, a flagship character at that) and the contrived origins of super-powers (thinking time-travel will grant him powers) when Marvel characters have contrived super-powers as well.

A radioactive spider.
A genetic mutation that grants people incredible powers.
Exposure to radiation.

It's not like Marvel's characters are greatly more complex that DC's.

TheDarkEricDraven said...

The blind-stupid outfit joke was kind of funny, and the Playsation and Atari joke would have been too if not for the reasons you pointed out.

I think I'm going to go watch the Snob's review of the Superman musical now...

Catherine said...

@CaptainCalvinCat and @Cecilrosa:

I agree - the core concept here could have made a fun parody if it were (much, MUCH) better written. The idea of someone who expects (and maybe even wants) terrible things to happen to him because he believes it will set him on the path to super-heroism, and yet somehow keeps coming out on top of situations thanks to dumb luck, has some potential.

I think a lot of the problem is that the comic was incredibly lazy, sure, but it also came across as unpleasant and meanspirited. It reminded me (painfully) of Mightily Murdered Power Ringers, what with the blatant, superficial attacks on DC characters. You'd think that someone as concerned with the politics of the comics industry as the author of Marville was would be well up on the competition, but it didn't feel like he even knew that much about the DC Universe he was trying to mock.

@Linkara:

Hilarious review, especially the opening. :)

quietm4n said...

in that case you did an extra great job the ghost of Christmas past from the future's monologue was pretty hardcore

Devar said...

Ahh a clear example of where explaining jokes don't ever work, you think he would have re-thought things through before even creating it.

This is only a theory but I am guessing the not-joke of the title of Marville is meant to be a not so funny different spelling of "Marvel" but it just doesn't work or even mean anything (not to my knowledge anyway).

I laughed at the sheer stupidity of "Here have a bag of money!" twice in this one comic, only because it made me facepalm myself just to how illogically random it was.

Not sure why but why did the ending of clean underwear remind me so much of Ash's mum from the Pokemon Anime series always telling Ash to wear clean underwear? 0_o

Anyway great work as usual Linkara and keep up the great work of showing us the stupiest comics ever printed or even show us what is good and bad in the comic industry.

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

The Long Winded Comment That's Not That Long Winded At All Comment Preview :

Oh the irony...Again !

The easiest copy available for download of Ultimate Adventures is a "translated for portuguese version", brazilian portuguese by the way, not portuguese from Portugal portuguese - there is a large difference.

The tastes of DCP groups from Brazil start to amuses me. Did i missed a memo guys ?

P.S.: and no, no translated versions for Marville but i guess they must be somewhere there.

End Credits Spamalot - The Song that Goes Like This

Amnesia said...

Another great review of a crappy comic. Can't wait to see you again at Magfest (and to see if some poor schmuck tries to ask you about HoPR again).

areoborg said...

I was just thinking of ways to make some of the jokes in this comic better. ...and because I'm sick in the head.

The "hi-jinks ensue" bit would have worked better if all 3 had kept that as their tag line. After all, we're treating it as being an incredibly lazy and dismissive summary.

Or, better yet, Batman: Bat Hi-jinks ensue; Spider-man: Webslinging ensues; Superman: The American Way ensues.

The Year 5002 gag would also have worked better if that had just been a sort of random cut that has nothing to do with the plot (since the plot has nothing to do with the plot once they switch parody gears).

So its something like: "In the year 5002" Bad bankruptcy joke, store explodes for no reason... "Meanwhile, in 2005" Cut to Ted Turner...

Yes, it only exists to make a jab at someone before being dropped like a sack of potatoes, but that describes the whole comic. Plus, given the characterization of the whole Turner family, sending his son back in time only 3 years or so to escape the coming cataclysm fits in nicely.

Anonymous said...

OK, the "this isn't the truth, this isn't justice, this is the American way" part actually gave me a good laugh, but otherwise...

Well yeah, had it's moments, but definitely nothing to phone home about
Just seemed kinda lazy

And it's attitude definitely showcases everything I find wrong with Marvel
Especially their insufferable arrogance

Whas happy that DC steamrolled them in their comic sales after the New 52 launched

which reminds me, are you over with the TAIS shorts?

Anonymous said...

"Peter David? The same Peter David who wrote the Earth-Born Angel Supergirl? Oh I love that run. Sad that his idea of making a team book on Silver age Supergirl, Earth-Born Angel Supergirl, and Power Girl(Which are my top three Supergirls) never came to be."

"I actually remember that happening.

And, strangely enough, I remember Bizaroo being the one who put the team together."

What issue was that in? you've got me interested.

Anonymous said...

@Victor Hernandez

Actually, the first 3 seasons of FOP were pretty good, but season 4 and onward went to hell

Curttehmurt said...

I found the use of the Smallville intro music to be funny.

Jazz339 said...

Wow, that was an insainly funny episode. Congrats Linkara. So what is your opinion on Smallville, did you not like the show in general or do you think it just over stayed its welcome and ran for too long. I am a fan of the show and, while it does have its flaws, I still enjoy it. I would love to hear your opinion on it. Also love the Batman TAS explaining the joke reference. Amazing review and can't wait for Robocop vs The Terminator.

The Exiled One said...

"Wow, this comic is freaking indefensible. I have no words. Is Marvel ALWAYS this hostile towards DC?"

Well, considering they never made another crossover with DC after "JLA/Avengers", considering that Access or Krona never get used in the Marvel Universe, and considering that they create a villanous version of the Justice League...

The Exiled One said...

"Lewis, I gotta say... for someone who doesn't drink, you do an amazingly accurate "hung over" impression!"

Then again, anything is a step up after Doug's pathetically bad "drunk" impression from the "It" review...

Jesse said...

Wow, that comic was... something else, wasn't it? I almost can't believe that people actually got paid to write that. I'd call it amateur, but I know there a lot of people in that vein who produce markedly better material than Marville seemed to be without even really trying.

It's amazing you can even find these things, let alone make it through reviewing them. Thanks for another great review!

The Exiled One said...

"Surely you realize that the whole Marville comic was done in a "reality is subject to humor" style ala The Fairly Oddparents?"

Actually, the Fairly Oddparents style is "Everyone in this universe is an idiot. There is no intelligence in this universe, just levels of stupidity. And if you enter this universe, you turn stupid, too. And the more time you spend in this universe, the stupider you get."

The Exiled One said...

"It ISN'T supposed to make sense, just string the jokes and references along."

Like, you know...the Selzter and Friedberg movies.

You know, those unholy abominations of cinema that should not exist.

The fact that this comic resembles them is NOT a good sign.

The Exiled One said...

"This was the period when they had Grant Morrison on the X-Men, the original Ultimates comics, the Marvel Knights books in full swing, and the MAX line. This was also the period when Marvel abolished the Comics Code and started collecting everything in trade paperbacks, giving them a greater bookstore presence."

Then came "House Of M"..."Civil War"..."Secret Invasion"..."Dark Reign"..."Ultimatum"..."One More Day"...Miles Morales as Ultimate Spider-Man...cancelling the Marvel Adventures line...killing the Human Torch...

...is it too late to have Bill Jemas back?

The Exiled One said...

"While I agree that this comic isn't funny and isn't very good, I think you only hate it because You're a DC fanboy."

Linkara is a comic book fanboy in general. Just because he likes to talk about DC doesn't mean he only likes DC.

That's like thinking Doug only likes the Ninja Turtles because he likes to talk about them, or that Spoony only likes "Wing Commander" because he likes to that about it.

The Exiled One said...

"Doesn't it seem like rather a lot of superheroes get their primary motivation from the death of a loved one and/or have dead parents?"

Speaking as someone who spends his free time writing fanfiction about a superheroine who is motivated by the death of her mother, I say that it's a plot device that works.

The Exiled One said...

"Speaking of Matrix/Linda Danvers Supergirl, what the hell happened to her anyway? The ending to the last issue doesn't make a lot of sense. And how come no one ever mentions her to Kara later on?"

The last time I checked, DC stuck her in Hell. And since sticking an "Earth Angel" in Hell is one of the stupidest things DC has ever done, I guess they find it better to pretend she never existed.

Then again, her presence would be redudant with Kara now around.

The Exiled One said...

"I'm still pissed off about Supergirl's relationships with Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Stargirl and most notably Lana Lang being undone with the new-52.. but at least Supergirl's book is pretty good."

The other three I understand, but why ruin her relationship with Lana Lang? Lana is an established "Superman" character, just like Supergirl! They are friends in universes where only "Superman" characters live!

That's like runing Spider-Man's relationship with Robbie Robertson, or Iron Man's relationship with Happy Hogan...

The Exiled One said...

It figures that the one person to find this comic funny would be Sake Mangusto...

Lizard-Man said...

Not my favourite episode, but I blame that on the material. As you said it's hard to make a failed comedy comic funny. But I still found it enjoyable.

Say, here's a question you have any plans to do an episode concerning Sgt. Rock or DC's world war 2 comics?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

Exiled One, if you have multiple responses to give, please condense them into fewer posts instead of one at a time.

The Blue And The Gold said...

"Then came "House Of M"..."Civil War"..."Secret Invasion"..."Dark Reign"..."Ultimatum"..."One More Day"...Miles Morales as Ultimate Spider-Man...cancelling the Marvel Adventures line...killing the Human Torch...

...is it too late to have Bill Jemas back?"

Don't forget Nightcrawler's death. Granted, he died a hero but considering who he died for, I'm not convinced it was worth it (not the cause, the character herself. She has yet to prove herself, in my eyes).

Though, for the record, I actually really liked Civil War and the issues of Amazing Spider-Man tying into it.

Anonymous said...

This comic's whole attempt at "humor", "satire" and "parody" made me think of a movie made by Seltzer and Friedberg, the guys responsible for "Epic Movie" and "Disaster Movie" and the like.

Anonymous said...

How stupid Bendis' avengers has been is rant for another story.


And trust me, if it's ever done, I'll be here to savor every word of it. hell I'd even draw The Avengers slaughtering Bendis just for that occasion .

http://devilkais.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4haefg

http://devilkais.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4halk9


This was the period when they had Grant Morrison on the X-Men,

Which was one of the worst things I've ever read. Mean-spiritedness, nonsense , LSD highs,genocidal Fetus from the toilets, heroes making jokes that even Deadpool would find horribly tasteless, & protagonists that challenge your way of thinking & beg the question "Maybe Apocalypse was right after all ?!"

the original Ultimates comics,

Being the guy who dislikes Millar & Bendis A lot, I only liked 3 characters in this whole line : Gambit, Emma Frost & Apocalypse. And I have reasons , trust me

the Marvel Knights books in full swing,

Now we're talking !

and the MAX line

Punisher MAX = 8/10 run for me
Howard the duck MAX= 10/10, READ IT !
Thor MAX= 3/10 Ennis can write well & even in an excellent way , but when he's bad, he's lame & annoyingly puerile...

& yes PAD's run on Supergirl is the best the character has ever been. Linda Danvers to this day is the greatest SG for me...

House Of M"..."Civil War"..."Secret Invasion"..."Dark Reign"..."Ultimatum"..."One More Day"...

Well you forgot Disassembled, Austen slaughtering Angelo Espinosa, Husk, Jubilee, Jess Bedlam & other Excellent characters that had a chuckload of potential, Morrison fucking up Emma Frost beyond any repair. Loeb's Rulk, Wolverine Origins , the complete Fisting of Sabretooth, Bishop, Cable , Mr Sinister & Deadpool. The addition of Sentry Vulcan, Daken & pathetic way they killed Selene , Morgan Le Fay... well it's too long

Miles Morales as Ultimate Spider-Man...

Oh come on , it's not that bad... I think...

cancelling the Marvel Adventures line...

Pfff... Can we have a Generation X forever miniseries By Lobdell & Bachalo/ Pugh /Lim/ Cruz ? Or Gambit forever L-S by Nicieza & Skorce ? Cable Forever L-S by Weinberg & Ryan ? If they do someone tell me ...

...is it too late to have Bill Jemas back?

Heh, It won't change anything , he's the same as the Big Fat Q...

Oh anyway Happy new year Lewis! Here something positive for once http://devilkais.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4l751k

& go with a smile ! http://devilkais.deviantart.com/art/DEVILKAIS-277492203
HIHIHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA !


Saidi

boooratt said...

I got a question on something I've noticed in a lot of time travel based stories or just futuristic stories in-general! Why is it always an even number of years into the future from the day the book is released? Like this one the book was released in 2002 and the future we open on is 5002! Is it because Time Machines can only go back in 10 year increments? It isn't just this comic I see it a lot! The only one it makes a little since in is Futurama and that is a good parody series!

As for the subject of The Unfunnie comic by Mark Miller it's basically the exact same plot as Cool World just a bit darker! Also for the very dark subject matter the imagery in the book is very tame! The worst you actually see is the unrated cover art editions! I own the would mini-series with the unrated covers!
Plot: Basically a convicted pedophile and child killer a-la Freddy Kruger who use to drag and writer a very Hanna-Barbara-like comic series for kid starts drawing his comic while on death row. This some how opens a doorway into another detention (well, it is explained that he was a Satanist and Occultist) where all these cartoon characters he created really exist. He makes contact with all his characters trying to find one willing to trade souls and in the process corrupts and tricks these characters into some sick crap. And the book basically ends with the killer's soul free in this cartoon world to do whatever he wants as he's basically a god there and the soul of a mentally slow cartoon character stuck in his body crying as he's being lead to a gas chamber!
It is really screwed up but since a lot isn't shown and the art is mint to be like old school kid's comics there isn't much I think Linkara can do with it, but he's surprised me before!
Oh, and also the real world stuff in the book are photos of real people like in that Sonic the Hedge Hog book Linkara did on here before! So, he might can make something of that!

Ps: I found a copy of and bought one of that Power Rangers adult parody that's in the opening! God, can't wait to see that review! Maybe film it at Magfest with the Snob!? :P

Anonymous said...

Hey Linkara, Nostalgia Critic just told me to ask you for a cameo in his Star Trek themed January Month, make sure to send my regards, Garrett C.

Anonymous said...

I think I get the bag of money joke.Well the attempt at a joke.It referring to the silly origin story's of super hero's and how they made a sack of money for those companies.I have peer through the veil of stupidity to come to understanding of their kind but at a huge cost of getting shit like this!

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

The Long Winded Comment Rip Off That's Even Shorter Than The Previous One Comment Preview Preview :


Dear The Exiled One,

Nah, my allegedly bad tastes are not "that" bad, Marville is just ridiculous.

The jokes are poor and after all DC New 52's is even worst, Marville at least was short lived and honest and that is where my defense limits it self : is a parody and as any thing made in comedy this can also be bad executed, as I say Marville is guilty but don't denied that in any moment.

Ultimate Adventures a.k.a. All Star Batman & Robin rip off and evidence for time travel is a lot better.

P.S.: or maybe Miller rip off Ultimate Adventures and improved the story quality making this looks like time travel by default, what a genius.

End Credits The Smithereens - Time Won't Let Me

vacation almost over, less 5 days in timestream and counting....

Packers Movers Chandigarh said...

hehehehehe, never ending fun with your episodes.

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

@devilkais a.k.a. apparently one of many Anonymous

If that is really your own deviant page why did take so long to show yourself ?

And about the page (if really belongs to you) nice job. You draw better than Liefeld, he can't draw anything anatomically correct even when superdeformed*.

Considering your thoughts about most of what you said about Marvel i vehemently disagree with you at least 90%.

I hope that link is not some kind of deception, real talent must be exposed and appreciated despite any concerned criticisms.

Welcome aboard that who alleged to be DevilKais.

*for those who are not aware about some manga drawing technics : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_deformed

Anonymous said...

@11:20
See, it's funny because people who object to racist caricatures are so universally anal-retentive and petty that they completely ignore common sense and logic! :D

....

....screw you, Marville.

Anonymous said...

"Then came "House Of M"..."Civil War"..."Secret Invasion"..."Dark Reign"..."Ultimatum"..."One More Day"...Miles Morales as Ultimate Spider-Man...cancelling the Marvel Adventures line...killing the Human Torch...

...is it too late to have Bill Jemas back?"

Hey, Miles Morales made me pick-up an Ultimate book for the first time after Ultimatum
My only complaint is he didn't replace the mainstream Peter Parker
The Ultimate P.P. at least still had some dignity left in him

Anonymous said...

@ Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto

No Captain, It's no joke , no deception! It is my true gallery & WELCOME !
I drew EVERYTHING in it... aside from the Joker poster , that was Brian Bolland's piece & I use it as a profile image ... & the motivational poster one, I wanted to show my true face so it was a photo not a picture.

The character spotlights are drawn in Superdeformed mostly because it takes less time to colour (I am a rather mediocre colorist by myself & kinda lazy...)



"Considering your thoughts about most of what you said about Marvel i vehemently disagree with you at least 90%."

oh...the beginning of a discussion! ISN'T THAT EXCITING! ... Disagree all you want that can be always discussed (just don't expect any pity from me towards the maim & maul list entries...)
& it'll be my pleasure to debate !
Just remember my rules in comics:

-If it's too awful or distateful, IT DIDN't HAPPEN!

- If it's an unbearable status quo, make your own canon ( kind of what 90% of my gallery is made of...)

But enough of my sanctimonious rules, If you ever wanna discuss anything bring it on ! I feed on feedback ! Wanna see something drawn? could be done ! ( & that counts for any of you boys & girls! As long as the NCC approves)
I post as anonymous ( Internet problem I currently have ) but always sign the end of my post Saidi , Well anyway
eelallikae ya asdiqa ( that's all folks in arabic)

Saidi

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

@Anonymous that's not Annoying a.k.a. Saidi

Cool, my first Arabian-American, or maybe Arabian-Canadian or even better a Arabian-British....well, at least just Arabian is fine for me. IT'S THAT EXCITING !

Okay, okay, nice to meet Saidi, welcome to our own little united nations meeting room here at the top of the fourth wall, i hope we together can teach something about cordiality for those "only americans", Lewis doesn't count among those people because after all he belong to the finest breed stocking of Norwegian-Americans and as we know viking descendent people don't give a damn for crap: they build, they sail, they travel, they make a mess around the world and they always go back home with the finest goods they can plunder. Cheers for the Norse ! Teaching real captalism since 800 A.D.

Back on topic, i wish i was talented and lazy like you - i can't draw at all, your art is really good and i really meant it.

Did i feel a long winded comment coming ? I hope so. Where should i start ? Let's see.

You think Bendis is stupid ? I love Bendis, there is nothing to discuss about that. I like it, you don't and i will not put a new found friendship on jeopardy for that so this goes to the list of non-topics.

Grant Morrison's run on X-men was awful ? Nothing to discuss on that either, i completely agree with you 200%, Grant is totally wasted and bat-shit insane on that, next topic.

I am almost finished downloading the whole Ultimate series - all the 5.28 Gigabytes of it - so i will keep that for the proper occasion maybe in private chatting when you allowed, there is a lot to debate in that pile, will be fun.

We both love Marvel Knights and Marvel Max but you give Thor 3/10 ? Really ?? I personally give at least 7 or 8/10 on that book, Doctor Strange was hilarious and despite i am not a Thor's fan the God of Thunder really kicks ass at the end.

I think i need to take a closer look on Supergirl previous series as well a lot of Marvel Books to debate this issues properly, you are a Godsend Saidi.

Marvel Adventures Cancelled ? Shame on you whoever is the Editor-in-Chief for Marvel now.

Hey, if they bring back Bill Jemas do you think he can team-up again with Joe Quesada and Peter David ? I doubt anybody can pussyfied any of those three in the same way the producers of Voyager did with the Big Fat Q.

What NCC stands for ? Notorious Censorship Code ??

Oh God i wish i could write something in arabic that doesn't come straight from Google Translator or Babel Fish, those machines are so unreliable and genocidal.

Remember that in the future folks : "Sarah Connor was right all the time, the machines will eventually kill us", real people - Norse, Arabic or Brazilian (you know irish and brazilians share a common ancestry right ? And therefore we are all ninjas) can kill you too but at least we can party before or suddenly after that, it's just a matter between business and a little misunderstandings in life and after a few hundred years everything will be cool again, ask the Russians.

In conclusion Miles Morales sucks but to be fair i didn't read any book about him yet so i will find a time on schedule for that before go any further on my thoughts. I wish i had my own sanctimonious rules ready for that.

Let's follows your guidelines from now on.

Cheers Saidi, i hope this may be the beginning of a beautiful duelist friendship, can't wait to cross sabers with you.

P.S.: Excellent review Lewis, you made your ancestries mildly proud, is nothing personal but lacks something nineties, something viking....SOMETHING BLOODY! MAKE COMICS BLEED !!!

End Credits Monty Python - SPAM (Spoiler Alert : There are vikings in that sketch)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

Erik Draven said...

I was still recovering from a post-New Year's party when I watched the review and even with a semi-comatose state of inebriation, that... wasn't... funny! The comic, I mean, not your review. I agree with Adam when he commented about "People getting foiled by dog farts, industry in-jokes that even the 3% percent who get it won't laugh at, an inability to decide if they worship or hate the competition, and a story that stopped making sense after 10 seconds. And Ted Turner was there.

I get it! Bill Jemas is secretly Vince Russo!"

Only logical conclusion I could reach. (Although with all the other 'violence' in this comic, I am surprised there wasn't a World Championship Wrestling in-joke and explanation thrown in for bad measure.)

Which will actually segue into my next question. I am normally too busy enjoying your theme song to pay a whole lot of attention to the opening, but something caught my eye. At one point, you are holding up what appears to be a WCW comic. My question follows... since it apparently sucks, have you ever reviewed an issue? If so, could you let me know roughly when you did. If not, could you?

Until next week Mr. Linkara, may the power protect you!

The Exiled One said...

Great, you encouraged him.

I seriously can't even understand what Sake said amidst all the "playing to the audience" unfunny comedy.

I swear, it's like having the Irate Gamer commenting on these videos...

Anonymous said...

If I had to guess, Marville comes from Marvel.

Trekker4747 said...

Minor point, as I watch this again. (I bought the books, read the first one last night and wanted to watch your review again.) You point out that the bank robber was called the "alleged-ed bank robber" and wondered why when it was already pretty much a matter of fact that he did, indeed, rob the bank.

I felt the need to point out that any crime you commit you only "allegedly" do until proven guilty in a court of law, regardless of what evidence there may be. People are captured all of the time with mountains of physical evidence, witnesses and even with video and other evidence but they're usually called the "alleged" criminal until they're convicted of the crime in court.

Anyway, I hope to see you continue to review these Marville books as they're pure crap. (But I also hope to see you go back and review the rest of the All-Star Batman books.)

John C. Kirk said...

Someone was asking about Linda Danvers: she showed up in "Fallen Angel" #15-16 (also written by Peter David) after her "Supergirl" series finished. For copyright reasons, they just called her "Lin" rather than using her full name, but it was very obvious who she was supposed to be.

wEREwOLF said...

Linkara I was wondering what you though of the new Teen Titans series. I haven't scene any new TAIS and was just wondering. The New Teen Titans by Marv Wolfman is the earliest comic I can remember reading and because of Geoff Johns' run they are my favorite team. I love your vids and have decided to create my own blog the first entry being about Teen Titans 1-4. Also for the record, I have been looking forward to you video about Identity Crisis. I love that story line and honestly want to see what you see wrong with it.

V said...

So, THAT is what that bank did with its share of the bailout money. It ALL went to KalAOL! :-p

Anonymous said...

You know, I was just re-watching some of your old videos, and I know this thing is long past overdue, but during the Planet of the Symbiotes review, how come I can faintly make out the clip of Cheryl in pain from Silent Hill in the glitches?

Anonymous said...

Believe it or not, the government actually built a supercomputer out of Playstation 3s called Condor. However that happened in 2010 and this comic was released in 2002, so, yeah, the joke is still stupid and makes no sense.

Capt. Sake "Hancock" Mangusto said...

It's 5:30pm here at my location. Where is the Next Miller Time ?

broketheair said...

This comic is... re-Todd-ed.

Happy 2012!

13th Doctor said...

I love Robocop and the first two Terminator movies. The second Robocop was all right but I can understand why a lot of people hate it and I have no time for a PG-13 sequel. The third and fourth Terminator movies left me cold.

I really liked this review and I loved your Real Genius bit; that is a great movie.

Robert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DJ1107 said...

Ok 1. Man this book looks and sounds horrible I find it mean spirited that they said DC sucked and never made a good book it be like you making a comic about saying how Image comics sucks without mentioning all the good comics in Image. Also "Meeting God?" now the book is just ripping off Preacher.
2. To all the comments who says Marvel just plain sucks heres a list of everything good. Mark Waids Daredevil, Ed Burbakers Captain America, Secret Warriors, Incredible Hulk, FF, Dan Slotts run on Spider-man, Deadpool, Punisher, Fantastic Four, Wolverine & The X-men, Avengers Academy, Iron man, the Defenders, Moon Knight, Thanos imperative, Guardians of the Galaxy, Annihilator, Secret Avengers, Avengers Children Crusade & Uncanny X-force, there Linkara you got some positive feedback on Marvel
3. Who the hell defended Cry for Justice other than a bunch of Robinson fanboys?

archer1949 said...

Ummmm......I LIKED Smallville. No it wasn't perfect, but it had a lot of good stuff in it...

Just sayin'

13th Doctor said...

That last post I left was supposed to be in "Robocop Vs. Terminator". Thanks for approving it anyway.

Michael said...

I've never read this comic, but as bad as it obviously is, Ted Turner buying the earth and selling it to AOL who rename it is hilarious.

CaptainCalvinCat said...

@ Archer:
You are right - Smallville was good. I mean, I found the first two seasons incredibly boring, but the third season really got me. Now, I am curious how it all will end. ^^

Greets

Cal

13th Doctor said...

"This comic is... re-Todd-ed."

UGH. Did you have to? I mean, REALLY?

Ebon said...

I'm amazed you didn't give Al the Superboy-Prime voice.

Anonymous said...

i'm generally a big marvel fan but my god whoever thought this was a good idea musta been droped as a baby but its better than ultimatum but becuse that just ruined the ultimate universe

Anonymous said...

Oh wow...that was painful. I mean, every comic you review is pretty bad, but I had trouble getting through this one even filtered through your hilarious commentary.

Jeremy A. Patterson said...

Looking forward to more Marville (and more of Mickey's purple hair!).

Jeremy.

Frapper Mac said...

http://news.yahoo.com/aol-launches-online-video-network-aol-222116148.html

AOL has just announced it's first step towards it's world domination in 3,000 years, when it makes Earth AOLon, by launching a video service called AOL On (and I'm dead serious!) Wanted to let you know and if someone else told you already, I apologize, sir!

Anonymous said...

JSA the titans,starman JSA batman young justice eh?
well as a marveloid allow to offer this as a rebuttal:
tomb of Dracula,werewolf by night,morbius the living vampire, secret wars,deadpool.
oh and no offense to you linkara but Marvel didn't make jla cry for jusstice now did they?

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"JSA the titans,starman JSA batman young justice eh?
well as a marveloid allow to offer this as a rebuttal:
tomb of Dracula,werewolf by night,morbius the living vampire, secret wars,deadpool.
oh and no offense to you linkara but Marvel didn't make jla cry for jusstice now did they?"

Nope. Marvel made One More Day, Sins Past, Ultimatum, Secret Wars II, and the Clone Saga.

Both companies had their share of bad books. My response in the episode was about books going on at the time that were a hell of a lot better than Marville. XD

Angus Livingstone said...

"Judging from this cover and the title of the comic, you'd assume this was a parody of Smallville, that Superman prequel show that lasted ten years too long."

I know you're a busy guy, Lewis, but would you mind explaining briefly what your issues with Smallville are? I am interested to hear your thoughts on it--for as bad as Smallville got sometimes, it was never a weekly exploration of Bearded Idiot--it was far better than that.

Gordon Jones said...

Finally got around to watching this and honestly I'm a bit let down by this review. I was expecting the comic to be a crossover between Marvel and the Amityville Horror when the reality is just really underwhelming.

The thing is that this is almost an american sitcom in comicbook form without the laughter track. It's not good and I would always try and avoid it but it really doesn't deserve the rage being presented at it. Stupidity is not such a big deal.

TechSY730 said...

Ok, to be fair to the "comic", I thought the "I came from the future, and all I got was a lousy t-shirt" and clean underwear being the "great gift from the future" kind of funny.
Yes, neither of them are original jokes, and a large portion of why I found them funny was because they established their "funny" status as a common joke from better works. However, I did find some of the humour did survive this instance due to the novelty of these jokes being applied to time travel; I honestly had not seen these jokes being applied to time travel situations before.


I guess this just shows that even a blind pig (or rather blind piece of **** in this case) can find an acorn occasionally. It's success rate for finding humour is more along the lines of what you would expect, except even further lower than that.

(And wow, did I ramble in this comment :P)