Monday, September 30, 2013

SCI-Spy #4

 photo SCI-Spy-4-thumbnail_zps6d7f65f6.jpg

This comic will be shaken, stirred, and shredded for how dumb it is.

Previous SCI-Spy Reviews:
Issue 1
Issue 2
Issue 3



69 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can someone write a full story of the Sci-Spy recap that Linkara invented!? That sounds so insane…it works!

Wait, So Earth was stolen!? Maybe Linkara’s recap of Daleks being involved was actually correct.

You do raise a good point though; “Our Old Earth Satelites picked it up and we were unprepared for the Alien Invasion…so I delete all information about the Aliens, so we won’t be prepared for the next time! Instead, I’ll just assume this random baby, we found floating in an escape pod is in fact; The Messiah and have him do all the work! Wait…”

JEBUS! LOOK AT NILE AS SHE WORKS OUT! THAT BODY AIN’T NATURAL!

And yeah, Sci-Not really a Spy is showing incredible amounts of stupid!
“Let’s fly into a random black worm hole, without any knowledge what we may encounter on the other side, and just cross our fingers into hoping we don’t get shot down!
When you have to make the characters idiots, so that they don’t realise obvious points and fix things within five seconds, then you’re failing as a writer!

Also, That Giant Angel Statue is actually part of another Weeping Angels Invasion. They were trying to take New York again, but the Aliens in this interrupted.

Still, At least this issue had something of extreme stupidity, to prevent it from being boring.

Good Review, Linkara. ;3
Looking forward to seeing more ftom you. X3

LucasChad said...

Your own opening recap is hilarious though I would've replaced Dalton with Daniel Craig. You could say some of us are already attached to him until the next actor comes along. I heard Tom Hardy is supposedly next in line after Craig retires. Going from Bane to Bond seems like a huge leap.

Suddenly I'm getting flashbacks to the 'killing molecules' argument from Marville #3 with the whole humanity vs. genetics thing. You could've used that clip from Red Dwarf you used in that video. Would've been perfectly fitting!

And if I may add to your question about the 2001 comic, my answer is simply...F**K YEAH!!!

CMWaters said...

It's amazing to see how something that was suppossed to be "James Bond In Space" pretty much has degraded into some odd blend of Batman, Superman, The Bible and Battlefield: Earth (aliens in charge of Earth, anyone?).

The escape ship being better equipped than the bigger one I'll chalk up to being more like a "battle mode" for a ship. Sort of like the Enterprise-D doing the rarely seen saucer seperation. In this case, the main body of the ship had the powerful engines, while the escape ship had the weaponry.

For the civilization thing...makes sense for the most part what you said, but we don't know how far into the future the aliens invaded Earth. So for all we know, by that point in time, humanity could have developed something similar to the capsules from the Dragonball universe: push a button, throw a capsule, instant buildng!

Speaking of the Dragonball universe, why did that one guy in the panel about 9:50 in the video get made to look like Mr. Popo. Unless he was trying to be DBZ: Abridged Mr. Popo and establish a pecking order.

Also, is it just me or did some of the art here seem to forget that Starchild was supposed to have a cybernetic eye?

Anyway, good job Lew, and good luck on the last two of this. Hopefully neither it nor Marville will ruin any sanity you have left.

manuman_knd said...

the only way this comics could get worse is if the last 2 issues is a crossover with Karmandi.

El Konsolero said...

Good Episode. I liked the Doctor Who joke about people hating Matt Smith (i like him as the doctor). However you could have made a weeping angels joke with the big cherubin at the end.

I also liked your own recap but if you bring a pokemon trainer in wouldn´t it make sense to try catching a dalek? After all daleks are very powerful so you could exterminate any other pokemon.

John Mourby said...

Okay... First! (maybe, probably not, but perhaps).


Anyway this was the best sci-spy review yet.
I need to agree with you, the idea that humanity is tainted for leaving earth behind is stupid. Yeah abandoning the human race can be seen as an awful thing to do, but that doesn't mean their decendedts share their guilt. My ancestors might have been involved in who-knows-what atrocities. That wouldn't make me a murderer.
But going by that logic keeping the knowledge of abandoning earth is denying the new humans any chance of redemption. How can they atone for a sin they have no memory of committing! Maybe Mother bank just likes keeping the new humans in their supposed state of sin? I can't see why though.


As to whether starchild is Superman or Batman I'd say the whole space-Jesus thing tips the balance in favour of Superman. though considering he's a "pure" example of a species overrun by genetic engineering I'd say he's Man of Steel Superman. There, I've given you a new reason to hate Sci-Spy, your welcome.

Now I'm going to read some classic Moonknight. Aka the good stuff by Doug Moench.

Looking forward to the Halloween stuff. bye.

Anonymous said...

He's Superbatjesus, Linkara.

8tailsjinchuuriki said...

You know what the worst part of these comics is? the flow. I don't think one issue directly follows the other. At least the Culling did that and it killed Artemis. Also if this comic talks about how DNA determines who you are but earlier in this comic Motherbank talked about original sin and people who were innocent in all this. Man Doug Moench is bad at telling messages in his story, he just pushes the message with no subtlety but has scenes that completely contradict it.

I think that cherub statue near the end is actually a weeping angel and will kill everyone, but that would be entertaining.

Owen Griffith said...

Ahhh, thanks. Just what I needed whilst paralyzed from crippling man-flu!

And, childish as this is, FIRST!

M. L. Martin said...

Given the talk about "original sin" and Starchild being free from it, Space Jesus may be what Moench intended. (Especially the bit about the 'original sin' being what allowed the Arcturans to come into being--a common misunderstanding of the doctrine.)

Anonymous said...

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Ty͟g̕e̸r! ͘Ty̴g͏er҉! ̸b̸u͝rni͏n̡g ͠b̧r̷i̶g̡ht
̴I͡n̸ th͢e̸ f҉or͡est͞s of ̴th́e̛ ͠nigh͜t,
́What i̧m҉m͘o̵rta͡l ͢hand or͡ e͢y̷e
Co͢ųld ͢frame̡ tḩy͘ f͞e̸a̡rfu͟l sym̸m͞e͏tr͠y?͜ ̢

M. L. Martin said...

Looks like Nimue's gotten into the poetry database . . .

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm a big enough man to admit I was wrong: Sci Spy finally upped the stupidity enough to warrant completing the series. In my defense, the first three issues are still just bad in a very generic way; it wasn't until Starchild was revealed to be Space Jesus that this comic truly made the transition from "some lame obscure comic" to "one of the most ridiculous things I've seen in my life".

Good review, and yes, the Doctor Who/Star Trek/Pokémon crossover made for a way better backstory; at least people would actually want to see it.

Volvagia said...

To Anonymous 11:45 (in the context of my perception of this story line):

Answer, answer burning clear
In the mindscape of the seer
A giant yellow mantis is here
To make you see all you fear

William Ngo said...

9:00 - Wait... Dafuq is that chick wearing?! And why is it riding up her ass that badly?! How does that help you with weight-lifting?!

10:10 - That genetically modified thing reminds me of Batman Beyond. But there, the modifications are generally either purely aesthetic, and don't impede your everyday life, or are purely FOR aesthetic purposes... so... why the beak?

17:38 - This guy is our best hope? Okay... I'm ready for the flesh-devouring aliens. Please take me.

19:30 - Wait... Nile is glued to his ass? Okay, I'm usually pretty good with slang, but I can honestly say I've never heard that one.

22:10 - That one moment caused me to actuallly choke on water. Yeah... I'm with Dr. Cox. Just... no. Shut up, comic.

25:37 - Ugh, I doubt these two will die. It'll make the story totally worth it, but I doubt it'll happen.

William Ngo said...

While stories written for the trade, or the six-issue storyline, are the new standard, I don't generally mind. I really don't like when a story feels rushed, like more could have been done within it, because it just feels wasteful. Of course, when a story feels padded, that's a lot worst, since then I'm just bored. Basically, I agree with you, Linkara, that you need to have enough material or be a good enough writer to pull off the six-issue storyline, and even so, it's not like comics not sticking to that formula can't be good. Hell, the current Hawkeye ongoing's longest story arc so far has been TWO issues (of course the recent issues seem to have been building towards something, but do still read well on their own). Of course it's very slice-of-life and indie-esque, so it's able to pull it off a lot better than most other series. Still, I generally prefer the six-issue storyline formula. Just my two cents.

Cory of PRIVATE Corp said...

And the moment you said that story, someone here is going to make that fan-fiction happen. And really that sounds far more entertaining than what was presented here in the comic... And this might be me, but I was thinking of a different character Dalton played that makes some sense, given Daleks were involved. Granted I know it's Bond, but would the story change if it was Rassilon?

KKDW said...

Maybe Starchild is that Elseworld version of Batman where Batman was actually Superman.

So, if there are two issues left I'm guessing we'll have the final two issues next year.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to nitpick, but the West Wing clip about Bond ordering a weak martini that you used in one your previous episode and referenced here forgets that Bond orders vodka martinis, not gin. In a gin martini, shaking allows the drink to get colder quicker, but it also dissolves air into the drink, "bruising" the gin. With a vodka martini, it's more important for the drink to be ice cold.

Anonymous said...

Great review as always, Linkara. I love your Sean Connery impression.

lordjim6 said...

Basic Christian belief teaches that we are all guilty for Adam and Eve's sins. I am pretty sure that is what Doug is going for. From that standpoint, the whole children of the first settlers being guilty for leaving everybody else behind makes perfect sense. They even use the same term as Christians: Original Sin. Two to other things: I would love to see your take on the 2001 comics! Also, have you read the Adam Warlock comics from the 1970's (they have their own Essential now)? They do the whole super hero Christ allegory in a Sci-fi setting very well!!!

Anonymous said...

According to this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp1bZEUgqVI
Their grasp of genetics isn't as stupid as it could be - Note: I'm not claiming that genetics equal destiny like they stupidly do, but it is the foundation of someone's disposition based on the construction of brain and its chemistry and so on.

Anonymous said...

Well on the bright side, tommorow......HE RETURNS!!!!!!!!!! *gleefully, maniacally laughs nonstop until someone eventually snaps me out of it*

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute... You have a trade of Sci-Spy, how could you possibly not know that there are 6 issues?
Did you never flip throigh it, or notice its length, or seen the back or table of contents that indicates that its 6 issues?
Or was that just a joke justification for your writing for the trade rant?

PopCultureOtaku said...

That recap by linkara? I only got one thing to say: Shut up and take my money! Not a real comic? ::Sad face::
This comic is stupid. I mean if he isn't jesus one moment he is batman or superman. Maybe Super Bat Jesus?
Looking forward to what's coming next month whatever it is. Of course with Longbox Of The Damn starts tomorrow. :)

Jesse said...

Smartest thing here? Pizza on a stick.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Wait a minute... You have a trade of Sci-Spy, how could you possibly not know that there are 6 issues?
Did you never flip throigh it, or notice its length, or seen the back or table of contents that indicates that its 6 issues?
Or was that just a joke justification for your writing for the trade rant?"

Yeah, I never really flipped through it and realized how many issues it was. XD

Djiinnrae said...

I've studied scripture a lot from both Christian and secular analyses, because I love learning and I'm a Christian, so here's an interesting bit of information:

The bible quote "and a little child shall lead them," although frequently quoted and used in reference to Jesus (logical, since a fair portion of Isaiah talks about the promised savior) it is actually thought (mostly due to differences in the conveyance of tone in the Hebrew) by most bible scholars to be just a reference to, well, "a child," like, any kid. Taken in context it makes sense; the chapter refers to the times after the world becomes perfect again filled with imagery of lions and lambs sleeping next to each other and children sticking their hands into a viper's hole without fear of getting bit. Basically, "and a little child shall lead them" is saying that everything will be so peaceful that a 3-year-old could have a pet mountain lion or crocodile or whatever and they'd be cool with that and totally wouldn't try to crush his/her skull with their jaws.

Anyway, taking it in that context makes this comic more amusing. The more you know the more hilarious or bemusingly out-of-context pretentious bible quoting is.

(2001 Space Odyssey comics?! Yes please. I'll wait eagerly for the day you look at those.)

Resign thyself; genetic predestination is all-powerful. You, man, are hardwired to have a change of career and move to Boulder, Colorado. You, also, other person: your genes tell that you shall be unemployed forever. Genetics tell the tale of the rolling tides of economy and prosperity. It sings the song of cultural familiarity. It cries for the animosity between nations. Obey; the twisting strands within you demand much and you cannot escape. GCAT is the answer; GCAT is the all. Heed the call of chromosomes. Resign thyself.
Resign thyself.
Resign thyself.

DMaster said...

So, Mr. Lovhaug...you now have 2 issues to go on S.C.I.-Spy, 2 issues left on Kamandi at Earth's End, 4 issues left on All-Star Crazy Steve & Dick Grayson Age Twelve, 1* issue left on Marville, and roughly a dozen Tandy Computer Whiz Kids stories. Just, out of curiosity, whenever you finally reach the end of any of these, is there going to be any kind of celebratory event, or at least a nice big fire?

Oh yes, and before I forget: Moench = stupid. WTF.

charm wilke said...

Hey has anyone translated the binary yet? hold on a minute...
Assuming that the binary translator I used works, it says:

Little Lamb who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee
Gave thee life & bid thee feed.
By the stream & o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing wooly bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice!
Little Lamb who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee

Any guesses as to how this relates to the storyline?

Brad Duke said...

To be completely fair, Superman is also space Jesus. He came from the heavens, gathered disciples, died saving mankind from Doomsday and was later resurrected.

I know Superman was originally supposed to be space Moses, but I think it's apt. :P

Anonymous said...

you know, the writing in this comic may be awful, but it's still better than you'r little fanfic

I mean, it could be salvaged, but then you killed it by throwing in damn Pokemon, and totally destroying any suspension of disbelief we may have left

remember, you'r mary-sues don't improve the plot, they only make it worse

Quint said...

Why do I sense an Adam and Eve type scenario resulting from this?

ParalaxKaine said...

No wonder the aliens were able to take over earth, they were getting help from teh weeping angels.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"you know, the writing in this comic may be awful, but it's still better than you'r little fanfic

I mean, it could be salvaged, but then you killed it by throwing in damn Pokemon, and totally destroying any suspension of disbelief we may have left

remember, you'r mary-sues don't improve the plot, they only make it worse"

...It was a joke. =P

Volvagia said...

DMaster: Let's count project work, both started and probable, shall we (ordered by issue count and then perceived priority):

1* Issue of Marville
2 Issues of Sci-Spy
2 Issues of Kamandi
2 Issues of Batman: Jazz
2 Issues of Street Fighter
4 Issues of ASBAR
6 Tandy Computer Whiz Kids Stories
10 Issues of US-1
10 Issues of New Guardians
12 Issues of Mr. T and the T-Force
Hasn't Started Holy Terror
Hasn't Started 2001: A Space Odyssey Comics
Hasn't Started Secret Wars 2
Hasn't Done A Nightmare on Elm Street Comics
Hasn't Started Batman: The Widening Gyre
Hasn't Started Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do
Hasn't Done Ultimate Power
Hasn't Started Trouble (Though that's probably for after Marville)

ramses said...

What I wrote after watching the first half of your video:

"Honestly, I kinda have to disagree with you on this one. While the art was definitely bad, I actually didn't think the story here was that terrible, and don't agree with your criticisms of it.

For one thing, humanity didn't start out with 'nothing'. They started out with a big, honkin' spaceship. That means direct (if limited) access to advanced materials, computer capability from day one, electricity, long-range communication, etc. And that's just if it was created with modern technology. It would be a massive jumpstep to rebuilding society. Becoming so futuristic in a thousand years doesn't sound especially implausible to me.

Also, your dismissal of the genetic alterations sounds a bit silly to me. Now, I'll admit directly that I've never read the actual comics and it's been a while since I saw your last few reviews, but is any indication ever given that all the genetic modifications are purely for aesthetic reasons? Because if you're colonizing dozens of planets, altering the human genome to better adapt to those planets makes sense if you're trying to go for a quick rebuilding. Now I'll admit that most of the specific usages of the alterations we see here do elude me (particularly the beak, whose purposes you could duplicate with a straw and a hammer), but I could imagine them being side-effects or later cosmetic stuff when genetic alterations became the norm.

Now admittedly, it's no masterpiece, but it's not really causing a blip on my terrible-o-meter either"

What I wrote after watching the second half of your video:

"Okay, never mind, this comic is incredibly stupid and your issues here make perfect sense. Not quite the dumbest thing I've ever seen (which remains whatever the hell the plan was that spanned ultimates 3, ultimatum and some of the later books), but definitely in the general ballpark."

Anonymous said...

"Yeah, I never really flipped through it and realized how many issues it was. XD"
Huh, I always assumed you read everything way in advanced to decide whether or not to review it. So you make your schedule without actually knowing what you're gonna review? Seems kind of weird, but whatever floats your boat.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"Huh, I always assumed you read everything way in advanced to decide whether or not to review it. So you make your schedule without actually knowing what you're gonna review? Seems kind of weird, but whatever floats your boat."

I usually flip through a comic to see if it looks like there's good material, but not a detailed reading.

In the case of SCI-Spy, I had the single first issue and then years later they released a trade of it, which I picked up. And since I had the rest of the series, I figured I might as well take another look at it.

Pierre Groulx said...

Linkara, there's a comment you made about cybermats that I liked so much, I decided to make it into a meme...
http://profile.cheezburger.com/UnholyFireDragon/lolz
http://www.quickmeme.com/user/PierreRobertGroulx
http://memegenerator.net/user/13832045/images

All are welcome to create their own version and plug the hell out of it. :-)

Anonymous said...

So they're assumed to still be the same aliens after over a thousand years? No political shifts of any kind in all that time? Let's see, let's play Things from One Thousand Years Ago that Aren't True Anymore.

England was ruled by the Anglo-Saxons.

Japan was in a civil war.

The First Nation groups dominated the Americas.

Spain was almost entirely under the control of Muslims.

As you might be able to tell, I absolutely hate stories where political systems remain the same for a thousand years (often much more). Wasn't true of Rome, wasn't true of Egypt, wasn't true of China, hasn't been true of anyone at any time.

Adam said...

Ugh! I think you may have to bite the bullet and either do the last two issues of Sci-Spy in one video or in a two-parter. Just to get through this crap comic.

Also, I too am in the camp of "too much decompression in comics/writing for the trades". Everyone has been worshiping the altar of Bendis for too long and its come back to smack the industry in the nuts. There is a big difference between letting the story breath and padding it out. We need to get back to shorter storylines and one-and-done issues because, these days, not everyone is going to stick around for 6 issues just for a story payoff. Nobody has the money nor the patience to put up with it.

BTW, I hope you do review the monthly series of 2001: A Space Odyssey someday. I dunno how good it is but it has to be better than what we just reviewed. Hell, anything with Jack Kirby behind the artwork is bound to be more visually appealing.

Megan said...

@Anon



"you know, the writing in this comic may be awful, but it's still better than you'r little fanfic

I mean, it could be salvaged, but then you killed it by throwing in damn Pokemon, and totally destroying any suspension of disbelief we may have left

remember, you'r mary-sues don't improve the plot, they only make it worse"


Yes, but the difference is Linkara wrote that when he was a teenager, and he didn't expect to get paid for it. Doug Moench is a grown man who is getting paid to write about a third rate James Bond tooling around the universe with a female HAL and some chick with weird eyes. (Seriously, that's all the characterization Nila has)

Sebastian is a Gary Stu, anyway.

JFinley91 said...

Out of curiosity, how many science fiction materials accurately portray black holes and/or worm holes?

DMaster said...

To Volvagia:

I listed those comics in particular as they're ones that have been a long time coming and have been quite awful throughout. US-1? Mr. T & the T-Force? Game Boy? We actually enjoy looking at those in spite of all of their problems.

"As you might be able to tell, I absolutely hate stories where political systems remain the same for a thousand years (often much more). Wasn't true of Rome, wasn't true of Egypt, wasn't true of China, hasn't been true of anyone at any time."

...said Anonymous on 20130930 17.55

Stay far, FAR away from the Ravnica setting in Magic: the Gathering. The city world has been ruled over by nine guilds (technically ten, but nobody was supposed to know that) for TEN thousand years, with each organization existing even earlier than that. Admittedly, they are presided over by some creatures that are living that long (e.g. a hyperintelligent dragon "god", a council of ghosts), but still.

GoldenKing said...

Him being the last real human just adds another painfully scary similarity between Sci-Spy and Kamandi: At Earth's End. I am so scared Linkara...
Anyways, do you have any plans for what you will do once you have finally conquered all of the series that you have been reviewing since the start of your show? You have already finished Brute Force and are coming near the end of many of the others. After At Earth's End, Sci-Spy, Marville (I know it is not from the start of your show), Tandy Computer Whiz Kids, All Star Batman and Robin, ect. what will you do?

Anonymous said...

I went to an old antiques sale a few months ago and, bored of looking at furniture, I decided to go see if they had any old comic books, because being a nerd, I always seem to gravitate toward comic books no matter what the occasion. As it turned out, they DID have a bunch of old comics there, including several copies of 2001 comics. I didn't end up buying them because they were insanely expensive for comics that were falling apart anyway, but as I recall, my first thoughts upon seeing them were: "Holy crap, I should totally send this stuff to Linkara!" But then I didn't, due to the whole price thing I mentioned earlier.

This has been a totally random anecdote that no one gives a crap about.

Anonymous said...

I was one of the people who said, "Sci-Spy had run it's course". I tink tat the book has finally gotten to the point where it is memorable, therefore the following episodes involving Sci-Spy will be more hilarious.

FugueforFrog said...

Unlike a lot of people I've been consistantly laughing at the utter insanity of the Sci-Spy review and this one was no exception. The concept of Starchild (who isn't from Parliment) being Batman, Superman and Space-Jesus just boggles the mind. And considering that he came from Earth long after the whole Arcturus settlement, that makes him the alien no matter how "alien" the Arcturan humans become. And while I get the nonsense of "the homeworld being within us" (its sort of a major plot point of Changeman), wouldn't humanity's homeworld have changed considering they've lived in that other star system for a thousand years!? I mean, if generations of humans live in Arcturus, they would have no loyalty to Earth outside being "the homeworld". But hey, at least the invaders use Cybermats...that's a positive.

Good thing Halloween starts next time...I hope. Yeah Moarte has his thing going on but this show is still going to get some scary things soon...well that and the next Clone Saga review.

Arianne said...

Damn it! I thought as well that this comic would be over by now!. It's a shame that how they wrote this. It should have been an interesting comic book concept. James Bond in SPACE! And the Future!!. But, seriously all this made me want to rewatch the episodes of Courage the cowardly dog in which a living Snowman is the villain and said Snowman sounds like Sean Connery and acts like a Bond Villain. On topic of the anon left message. Fearful symmetry makes me think of a Uncanny Valley face for the Worm King.
Also, I'm excited for tomorrow's Longbox of the damn.

silver age boy said...

Here's a common problem with Doug Moech writing on this show. He has characters repeats exposition almost as if he's afraid our attention span can't last for more than a page.

Cat C said...

Yes, your new story is a million times more interesting, someone needs to get on this right away!

The second issue made me have hope that this would be mildly interesting. That was very quickly destroyed in number three and this one... did someone just forget to plan this out before writing it? It's like some bad fan fic that's gotten WAY out of hand that just keeps going because the writer doesn't want it to end.

Yeesh.

Enjoyed the review though.

@dragons_dusk

N. said...

While I do not think you spent enough time addressing the deeply misogynistic themes of this piece I am glad you took the time to critique the piece for its propping up of the patriarchy.

First, the character of Nile is incapable of consenting to wearing the outfit she is forced to wear in the work out scene. This is tantamount to rape and encourages the objectification of women. It also encourages body shaming and the idea that "fitness" is a the only desirable state for a person to maintain. The artists should be ashamed of themselves, though I suspect they have no such empathy for women and all those they insist on otherizing, by belittling people and placing them on display.

Additionally, it is clear this piece forcibly ends with "Starchild" and "Nile" as a neo-Adam and Lilith. Note that, so far as I know, Nile is not identifiably Starchild's subordinate, though it is clear the creative team thinks of her as such. By placing them alone in the "Land of Nod" that is the Earth as depicted in the book, so soon after biblical quotations, this must have been the intended affect. Again the auteurs insist that Nile is to be dominated and objectified.

This comic, its creators, and its readers that do not recognize this are sickening.

Ming said...

Wow, that insane recap you made up is still ten times better than this . . . moronic . . . space opera fail. This comic is stupid and idiotic. This is just as bad as Signs, with the aliens blocked by a simple wooden pantry door.

And there are two more issues of utter stupidity of this comic.

I don't mind the writing for trade paperback concept as long as the story can still be good. Unfortunately, as we have seen, SCI-Spy is not a good story for the trade, especially with all these idiotic concepts that we have seen . . .

Tia Wheeler said...

Forgive me if I am speaking out of term, but I never understood the entire "save the human race by picking out the best genetic candidates" thing. If anything, I feel that it is pretty much impossible to do so because of the way that genetics works. It's not as simple as choosing characters with all positive stats like you would do in a game like Valkryia Chronicles. Living things are the products of the random combination of harmful, beneficial, and (for lack of better words) neutral genes that may or may not take years after birth to become noticeable.

With this in mind, every human on the planet can be a potential carrier of a dangerous recessive disease that will blow up when expressed within a new born person. Cancer is still an issue since it is what happens when some cells, for lack of a better word, malfunction. Heck even Special Agent Boring might be hiding something dangerous in his cells that he can pass on to later generations. So it just seems ridiculous that they tried picking the "genetic best" of humanity when those people's children might be born with genetic disadvantages.

Sorry about the rant (I'm probably wrong anyway), so back to the review.

Even though it sucks badly, we can say that Sci-Spy has done one thing good. It introduced Linkara to the the walking Cyber-mats and the Cyber-Froggies, both which he might consider building and keeping as pets XD.

Anonymous said...

Try harder next time to troll.

Anonymous said...

This comic is like the anti-Serpent's Tooth, Moench's actual licensed James Bond comic, born as an equal but opposite reaction to a really good book. And apparently being the antithesis of all of Moench's earlier but awesome spy stuff wasn't enough, now it makes Starchild a messiah figure.

This guy wrote Batman vs Dracula. He created Bane. He's the definitive writer of Shang Chi. How can quality from one man vary so wildly?

Keveak said...

This issue have so many silly things in it that I'm just wondering how in the world it will end. My bets are on Starchild and Niles becoming an allegory for either Adam & Eve from Abrahamic mythology or something related to the rapture or paradise on Earth beliefs. That, or space chinchillas save the day, but that may just be wishful thinking. X3

I was a bit surprised that you had the same reaction to the idea of an original sin passing on to descendants for millennia, though. May just be me not knowing more than the major branches, but isn't that the point behind Jesus? That humanity inherits the original sin and had to be saved through the ultimate sacrifice? Or am I just ignorant of the differences between the historical beliefs, major branches and modern variations? Sorry. ^_^'

Great review, particularly loved seeing the cybermats assisting you with cuteness comparisons. :3

Zayfod said...

One potential explanation for the prevalence of genetic engineering is for everyone to have been a little bit engineered to survive on the worlds they were colonizing until the terraforming was complete.

Afterwards it could have become a fashion trend of sorts, that became codified into society in the same way that men's and women's clothing buttoning on different sides did. (Which was the only thing I could think of that had been around even slightly that long.)

As for the space messiah thing, Mother Bank is probably just going computer senile.

Lewis Lovhaug said...

"I was a bit surprised that you had the same reaction to the idea of an original sin passing on to descendants for millennia, though. May just be me not knowing more than the major branches, but isn't that the point behind Jesus? That humanity inherits the original sin and had to be saved through the ultimate sacrifice? Or am I just ignorant of the differences between the historical beliefs, major branches and modern variations? Sorry. ^_^'"

My own brand of Christianity does not recognize Original Sin, especially after the whole Jesus sacrifice for said sins. If we're granted free will, the idea of a metaphysical "evil" that we had no control over because of a moron at the time of creation is head-scratching.

And of course others should be feel free to believe what they wish, but in terms of narrative for SCI-Spy you can't apply such spiritual doctrine to a story about needing to leave earth because aliens were going to kill everyone.

Jesse said...

At this point, I'm starting to think this whole Sci-SPY comic was written using the style where what's in the story was chosen 75% on what sounded cool and 25% on what actually fit with whatever narrative they were going for. All of it just changes too much and too quickly, and only so very little, if any of it, makes any sense at all.

It'll be interesting to see how this all ends, if we're even given that much for the story, considering how the rest of it has gone.

Doresh said...

Man, it is fascinating how SCI-Spy tackles all those interesting plot ideas (futuristic espionage, transhumanism, caste system, the classic Superman tale, a forgotten enemy of mankind, survival at all costs,...) and fails miserably by not understanding a single one.

And if you're "writing for the trade", why not just releasy ONLY the trade? Wouldn't this give you much more freedom in your page count?

Anonymous said...

Wait! Pick out "Best Genetic Candidates From Humans"?
As in...Eugenics?

Isn't that exactly how Khan was made!?
Is this like an Alternate Reality where the Eugenics War was won by Khan and his kind!?

Chelsey Magnuson said...

The whole genetic modifications thing is especially stupid - it would've taken a few minutes at most to come up with a more reasonable explanation. For instance, say they were originally modifications for strength, endurance, surviving in space - things that would help them survive long enough to get to and then build the new world. If there's a caste system in place (I'm taking your word for it here, honestly can't remember even a mention of one in the previous comics), say the people who /weren't/ building the infrastructure had time to tinker with the original genetic modifications and that led to bird beaks and tendril heads.

Granted, it leaves the issue of why they dragged all the genetic modification equipment on board instead of filling the space with food or water or building materials or a couple more people, but at least there'd be a vaguely reasonable explanation.

Ah well - stupid comic, but great review. Sean Connery-style "Part of Your World" was fantastic XP

Dark Patrician said...

Great job, I can't say I'm against seeing more of Sci-Spy...maybe not until April or later, but I'd like to see how the insanity continues.

Well there is the off chance that our "hero" is really the Kal-El who crashed into Wayne Manor and was raised by the Wayne's until the night when a mugger shot him and the bullets bounced off and killed the Wayne's setting him to become...Batman! Until he stopped and became Superman! And then he became a baby again and all this crap happened.

When the "best and brightest" were taken off the earth, who's left but the idiots to make the decisions of where to put the statues?

New CD idea: "Sean Connery Sings Disney," I'm especially looking forward to "Be Our Guest."

Doresh said...

Wait a sec... Just how far away from Earth is this Arcturus system?

If this wormhole collapsed after being used by the refugees and only got reactivated recently thanks to the aliens, then this means our Superbat--Starchild-Cryo-Pod-thing drifted thousands of years in empty space and just happened to reach the system after thousand years (minus a few decades because he's now grown up and all)?

This also has to mean that unless the cryo-pod could fly at or even faster than lightspeed (which sounds a bit unlikely, seeing how FTL doesn't seem to be something humans have in this setting, if I remember correctly), the Arcturus system can't be farther away from Earth than a few hundred lightyears away - which makes the Arcturus star the second-closest star to Earth after our own star.

How both we and the aliens missed this and rely on a wormhole for a system that is in walking distance from Earth (from a cosmical scale), I have no idea. The aliens probably flew much farther to get to Earth in the first place.

And considering that this space ark was kept a secret, nobody knew where this wormhole lead to, AND that the Arcturus system's star is rotating around the center of our galaxy like every other star, then Starchild's parents effectively launched him into a random direction that just happened to be the one where Arcturus would be thousand years later.

Skarakien said...

To be honest: i can make some good story/motivation out of the comic.
OK. So: "Motherbank" was the leader of the United America and the Daleks... i mean the aliens attacked earth while humans could not prepare for it. So they abandoned the planet and some people on it. This action, or let's call it guilt, put MB into a posttraumatic stress disorder (she wants to forget everything they did). They landed on the new planet, started to adapt to it via genetic surgery, but as time went on humans only wanted to do these surgeries for cosmetic means. This is why MB calls those humans names (selfish means of technology given). As for Seb and why MB thinks he is a Spacejesus, it's now obvious: The guy represents the lost innosence the humans had. This is why MB thinks Seb is the best agent in the universe(and maybe MB didn't let Seb get the enhancements? just askin').
And about the sugarcube-cybermat-aliens: Maybe - just a theory - the sugarcubes are devices like the meteorites in the Justice League pilot (they release the cybermats to create a liveable habitat). They may be live on decaying things (like the some fungus) otherwise they would have no reason to wipe out the planets' inhabitants before they arrive, they could just blow the hell up on it with phasers and lasers (i presume this is why they bombed earth with asteroids. the asteroid belt is near but the devastation of an impact is huge yet stil survivable by some spieces).

But i didn't read the 5th and 6th issue so these are just theories.

PS: Keep up the good work mate!

Johnathan Hazen said...

What you said when Starchild went through the wormhole, and the criticism of his lack of a plan made me think of this:

The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth. And then—just to finish off—I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek: But you have no weapons, no defenses, no plan.
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death?

Tholomyes said...

This gave me a real BSG feel, especially Reboot-BSG, though it came before that, so I don't know. But the Space Jesus thing, plus the mass exodus from the enemies attacking their home planet.